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YEAH , BOY ROMANCE .

HOPE YOU LIKE .

IF YOU DO THEN VOTE AND COMMENT AND ALL THAT OTHER GOOD STUFF YOU CAN DO !

  -Raquel-

I love him , believe me when i say i do because i swear you'll never hear me say that shit about another boy a day in my life .

These feelings i'm having for him , i shouldn't be having , not because it's a sin or anything but because i've never liked another boy a day in my freaking life . And not to mention the fact that me and him could never be together .

See , where i live , that gay shit don't fly .

I've seen multiple males lose their lives all because they weren't afraid to admit that they were gay . That shit is crazy . And i used to think that it was their fault for being gay in the first place . I used to feel like they didn't have to be gay if they didn't want to be , but i now realise how stupid i was .

Because once again , i love him .

The him i'm talking about is Dante .

Dante is my next door neighboor , and my sister , Raven's , bestfriend . I know Dante is gay , hell the whole world can tell he's gay but he denys it to the absolute fullest .

When i first realized i liked Dante it was an akward moment for me . 

I was chilling in the living room of my house watching tv when i heard somebody knocking on the door . It was Dante . I told him Raven wasn't home but that he could wait for her and he agreed . We sat down and watched the rest of a episode of Maury in complete and utter silence . It was uncomfortable , and that's just putting it mildly .  Next thing i knew , I felt his head leaning on my arm and i knew for a fact he wasn't sleep because he pulled out his phone and started texting . I don't know why but i didn't feel the need to make him move  . It felt right . He sat up though and looked at me , and i saw him in a way i never had . I all of a sudden noticed the sparkle in his light brown eyes , i noticed how cute his dimples looked . . . i noticed everything that i felt a man wasn't supposed to notice about a man .

That was 2 months ago , and i've still yet to tell him about my feelings for him , but only because i'm not trying to get mixed up in any bullshit and possibly lose my life , or have him lose his . I'd rather just keep the shit on the low-low .

I used my hands to push my body up off of the floor and dropped back dwn , and right before i hit the ground i pushed back up again , making that 30 push-ups .

I watched Raven walk into the room talking on her cell phone but ignored her doing another 10 push-ups before i felt like my arms were going to give out if i didn't get up . I plopped on the couch next to her as she spoke into her phone .

" yupp , he'll be here , " she poked my arm and rolled her eyes at me " 8 oclock , okay , dang i didn't forget tht quick ! Bye ."

She hung up the phone .

" who was that ?"

" Dante ."

My heart sped up as she said his name . Damn , if you only knew how bad i want to see him . But in order for my feelings for him to die down , i need to stay as far away from him as i can which is a hard job to do .

" oh , what did he want ? " I asked , trying to keep my voice steady .

" He wants to sleep over . I already asked ma' and she said it was okay ."

" no , he can't sleep over ."

She rolled her eyes " last i checked , this wasn't your freaking house so shut up ."

She picked up the remote and began flipping throught he channels on the tv . I was vageuly paying attention . My mind was focused on the situation at hand . I can't be that freaking close to Dante and expect my feeling to just vanish . Raven's room is right next to mine , i don't think i'll be able to do it all night long . Not only are they always loud when he sleeps over , but it's nerve racking because i can't go in there and kiss Dante like i was to .

I checked my watched .

It's 7:45 , maybe i can crash at Yvonne's house . Yvonne is my girlfriend of the moment , but believe me , she's nothing special to brag about .

On my way to my room i dialed her number on my cell phone . If i take a quick shower , and pack fast . . . . shit , i'll have to have some magical super speed to do this .

" hey , babe . " she answered on the third ring .

" wassup ." i said as i stripped out of my sweat drenched clothes . " yo' moms home ?"

" yeah , but , she's passed out on the couch . Why ? Wanna come over ?" Her voice perked up , i'm sure at the idead of having me so close to her but it's not like i'm trying to smash or nothing . But i didn't tell her that .

" yeah , i'll be there in like . . . " i looked at my watch . Damn is the time passing fast or what . It's 7:50 . " a little while ."

I hung up the phone before the conversation got dragged out anymore .

I wrapped a towel around my waist and ran to the bathroom across the hall from my room , tripping a few times over nothing but air .

I turned on the water and jumped in . I didn't even give it time to warm up .

 " please god , " i sid a silent prayer " let me make it on time ."

It jsut must not have been my day , the doorbell sounded , making me groan in frustration .  What the hell !

Part of me is excited , but the other half , the more ethicl half , knows this night is going to go the way i've been trying to avoid . Because i know that once i see Dante's face , i'm not going to want to leave his side .

I dressed in a pair of sweat pants , and a black wife beater .

I ran my hair over my Ceasar haircut as i made my way down the steps . In the hallway , i could already hear them talking .

" my father get's on my fucking nerves ! " Dante mumbled to Raven . " as soon as i want to do anything , it becomes a problem . I get good grades in school and plus i'm nice to his drunk ass ."

Raven laughed " i'm glad i don't have that problem . My father is long gone ."

I wanted outside the living room doorway , with my back against the wall so they couldn't see me and just listened . There is somethin about his voice that's so soothing to me . It puts my heart at ease hearing his voice .

" so , " Dante paused . " where is Raquel ?"

" half way to Egypt by now ,  hope . "

Dante giggled " really ! Reaven , where is he ?"

" i don't know . In the shower . Wait , why do you care ?"

" just wondering , damn , can't i ask ."

I stepped around the corner and into the living room , laying on my back on the floor looking up at them as they sat on the couch just staring at me .

" what ? " i asked loooking more at Dante than at Raven ." can't a man lay on the floor in his own house without getting looked at like he's going crazy ?"

He shrugged and sat back on the couch , keep his eyes locked on mine .

Raven nugged me with her foot " get out !"

" damn , and here i was thinking ya'll wantd me here ."

I stood up and faked hurt as i walked to the kitchen which is connected to the living room .

I tried to blank out any noises as i sipped from the gallon of orange juice just in case they were talking about me . I don't particularly like to have to take my sister uo top but i'll do it . ( AN : GETTING TOOK UP TOP IS AN EXPRESSION BASICALLY MEANING BEATING SOMEONE UP !)

" you didn't have to go ."

I jumped a mile in the air , spilling orange juice down the front of my wife beater making it stick to my chest .

I spun around to face Dante as he walked into the kitchen .

He had an amused look on his face seeing the orange juice on the front of my body " so , " he tried to hold in his laughter " are we still in first grade where we don't know how to pour it into a cup ?"

I couldn't help but be slightly amused , anything coming out of his mouth either seems funny or sexy to me .

" whatever . " i mumbled as i put the cap to the orange juice back on and placed the orange juice in the refrigerator . " yo' ass is one to talk . I always have to clean up after you when you're over here ."

" that's because you want to . I can do it myself . I'm not a slob ."

" what if i like cleaning up after you ?" i asked challengingly as i peeled the wet shirt from my body and laid it on the counter .

" so you're saying you like me ? " he raised his eyebrows .

" i didn't say that ."

" but you wanted to . "

" if i wanted to say it then i would have ."

" then say it , because i know you want to . "

I smirked ., trying to keep my composure .

Why does he have to look so sexy ? He just wants me to put on front street that i like him but i can't do that , no matter how much i feel like i need to .

I walked closer to him , backing him ino the wall .

I lowered my voice and leaned down so my mouth was pressed to his ear " if i did say i liked you , you wouldn't know how to handle it . " I kissed his ear lightly and backed away , headed back to my room .

I need another shower . Not only to wash away this juice , but to cool my hormones before i react on a note that i'm not even ready for .

-Dante-

I woke up the next morning still sleepy . Me and Raven usually stay up until about 3 in the moring but last night something possesed us not to go to sleep until 7 this morning when the sun was damn near about to rise .

I can't get Raquel out of my head . He's so damn close to me and i can't touch him . Really i can't even talk to the boy without almost hyperventalating , so i put on this tough act . I can't like he doesn't bother me  like i rule the world , like i'm in control of everything but i'm not . I'm really quite scared of he way i'm feeling , and plus , i can't tell anyone so it's heavy on my heart and my head .

I stood up and went to the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth . Raven was still sound asleep and probably will be for the next few hours seeing as it's only 11 in the morning . My stomach growling was a definate sign that i was hungry so i went to the kitchen . 

Raven's mother was standing over the stove stirring a pot of oatmeal .

" good morning , Ms. Hamps ."

She turned and smiled at me " good moring sweetie . How are you ?"

" i'm fine . " i sat down at the table .

" good , and how is your father ?"

" same old Taylor i guess ."

" well ,people like that don't change . But , i have to go to work so can you stir these , and they'll be done in just a few minutes ."

" Sure . "

I took the uge wooden spoon from her as she rushed from the kitchen .

" have a good day !"

" you too !" I yelled back to her .

I placed two bowls on the table and filled both of them with oatmeal .

Raquel should be down any minute . He always wake up right after his mom leaves for work on saturday which i find slightly odd but whatever . Sometimes i think he purposly waits until she leaves to come out of his room , i wouldn't be surprised .

Two arms encircled my waist , but they were so comfortable and warm that i didn't jumpp at all .

" you . . " Raquel's said as he leaned o n my shoulder . He paused though like he couldn't form the right words to say anything .

My heart sped up i felt my breathing elevate . I've never been this close to him and even when i have , it's been a accident and he's moved away faster than anyone could imagine .

Suddenly , his arms were gone .

I turned to face him " did you want anything ? " i asked with a warm smile . " your oatmeal is one the table ."

He avoided my eyes " um , tell Raven i'm at Yvonne's house if she needs me . "

He turneed and walked from the room .

My smie faded , well , maybe his arms going around my waist was accidental too .

****

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