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By the time my maths class had ended, it was pretty clear to me that Harry wouldn't have come to school that day. I wondered why, and if something had happened. He'd seemed to be completely fine the day before, during our little escapade, so I was more than confused.

I decided to settle my doubts by asking the only person I knew that probably truly knew what was going on, Niall.

"Why isn't Harry at school today?" I asked him when I reached him as we exited the class.

The blue eyed boy gave me a shrug. "Do you really wanna know?" He said, his answer making me furrow my eyebrows.

"Is he okay?" I asked worriedly, my mind already starting to work fast to try to solve the mystery of Harry's absence.

He snorted. "Yeah. Perfectly fine" he said snappily, the tone of his voice making me understand that there was more to it. I didn't have to wonder for long though, because he continued on his own. "He just decided it would've been a brilliant idea to hit the gym for the entire afternoon yesterday, and then for some reason he thought it would've been even a better one to just leave and, instead of going home, go nobody knows where and get drunk out of his mind. Honestly, thank god Liam and Noah were with him, because my mum would've freaked if it hadn't been for them. Gotta love getting woken up at four in the damn morning by a drunk Harry trying to make his way towards his room in the most complete darkness. That's why he's not here, he's still sleeping it off."

I widened my eyes at his rant. "Uh, should I have not asked?" I said, feeling as if that was way more information than I would've ever needed.

"Don't mind, I'm just mad at him because he keeps being such an idiot. It's so hard to keep up with him, sometimes it really looks like he doesn't know how to care for himself at all. Or doesn't want to, I don't know" Niall said with a sigh. "Sorry for complaining with you."

"It's fine... I guess" I replied, putting the strap of my bag back on my shoulder since it was slipping off. "I'll just go, if you don't mind."

"Sure, see ya" he said, surpassing me to go wherever he needed to be.

I sighed, starting to walk towards the main entrance of the building. I debated if I should've sent him a text asking him how he was, but decided against it, knowing that Harry wouldn't have been happy to know that Niall had shared his surely eventful night.

I opened the door and went out, closing the buttons of my coat as the cold air enveloped me, sitting down on one of the steps and taking my notepad and pencil out, looking around to find a good subject to sketch during my free period.

• • •

I sat down on the grass in the park, smiling to myself as I took in the small artificial lake in front of me. Considering how cold it was, there weren't many people around, which gave me both a bit of privacy and room to relax.

I put my earphones on and put on some music, before taking my notepad and pencil, opening it and starting to sketch the lake in front of me.

I looked up from the page when I felt my phone buzz against my leg and glanced down, discovering that I had just got a text.

From Harry: Can I come over?

I stared at the text for a few seconds, a frown on my face as I reread the words multiple times, confused as to why they'd been sent in the first place. I shook my head, taking the phone from where I'd abandoned it on the ground next to me and unlocking the screen, before observing the bubble of the text as it showed up, double checking the name on the top of the conversation just to come to the conclusion that it'd been actually sent from Harry's phone. After having made sure its provenience, I read it again, the second time actually taking in the meaning of the words. I let out a little sigh, and started typing.

To Harry: I'm not at home

I looked up before sending it, and stared at the small artificial lake in front of me, biting my lower lip as a sudden idea came to my mind.

To Harry: I'm not at home. You can come where I am if you want to

I reread my message for the last time, and sent it, locking the screen but not putting the phone down, staring into nothing for the few seconds that took the reply to come, looking down at the device in my hands in the second I felt it buzz.

From Harry: Where are you?

I typed in the reply and sent it, finally putting down my phone. I picked up the pencil and went back to my sketch.

I liked to go to quiet places to draw. Especially after particularly long or stressing weeks, it was a perfect way to release some of that tension and start anew. And with everything that had happened that week, there was no doubt that it'd been eventful.

I sighed, looking at the water. Soon the cold would've become too sharp, and it would've frozen it. It wasn't that cold though, so the icy surface wouldn't have been steady enough to walk on. I felt as if I was starting to lose control over my life. Like the water, I was completely subjected to way too many outside factors, in that moment more than ever. I was changing, I knew it, but I had no control over it as well, which scared me. What told me I would've changed in better? What if I would've ended up like the water, not enough to truly be something else, but too different to become who it used to be on its own? What told me that change was good?

The water was still. There was no wind, so it stayed in its place, immobile, apparently completely unbothered by everything happening around it. Its greenish surface was reflecting the blue of the sky, and I followed the movement of the clouds above on it.

I knew who I used to be, and I sometimes didn't recognise that person anymore when I looked at the mirror. Was Harry really changing me, or was he allowing me to see who I truly was? What I truly wondered was, was he showing me who he truly was while doing so? Or was I just being played?

I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind, allowing myself to concentrate on what I was doing. I disconnected the earphones from my phone and rolled up the wire, easily slipping them into the pocket of my coat, instantly scrunching my nose when the quiet music was replaced by the sound of the wind blowing through the canopy of trees. I tapped the pencil tip over the paper for a couple of times, before starting to sketch the reflection of the sky on the water.

After a while, that could've been a couple of minutes as well as a couple of hours for all I knew, I heard the sound of steps on the fallen leaves.

I looked up, noticing that Harry had arrived. I stared at him as he crouched down a couple of feet away from me, my eyes inadvertently searching for his.

He slowly sat down, looking at the small lake, seeming to almost purposefully not glance at me, a faint sigh leaving his lips. He passed his hand through his dark hair in a harsh motion, clenching his jaw, not a single word leaving his mouth.

I furrowed my eyebrows, sensing almost instantly the sudden change in the air. I just looked at him, not knowing what to say, or how to say it. It was clear that Harry wasn't happy - more than that, he seemed thoroughly pissed, and I didn't know how to act in a similar situation. I'd grown so used to Harry's habitual way to repress almost all his emotions, that I didn't know what to do now that it was clearly not happening. I silently took in his figure, trying to come up with a way to address whatever was going on. "Did something happen?" I asked quietly, going for a more innocent approach on the whole thing.

He shrugged my words away, the deep glare he gave to the lake so penetrating that I found myself hoping he would've never looked at me like that. He stood up, walking fast towards the water, pacing in front of it as if he couldn't stay still. I observed him as he picked up a pebble, and threw it with such force and precision that it bounced until it roughly slammed against the other side, disappearing from view as it sunk.

"I can't stand him" he hissed, anger evident in his voice, from where he was standing, his back to me.

I shot him a confused glance, not knowing what to make of his words. "Who?"

He turned around, only then meeting my gaze, his usually green eyes turned darker by the anger. He shifted his stare to whatever was behind me, taking a deep breath. "Niall" he muttered, shaking his head before looking down.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked him, making sure to use a calm tone to hopefully soothe his rage.

He shrugged, letting his gaze drift away again. I waited for him to say something, feeling as if I'd surpassed the amount of words it was okay for me to say without causing him to snap. He looked on the edge, and I was worried that the smallest thing could've made him flip. I didn't truly know him after all, and I'd never seen him angry, ruling out that embarrassing question I'd asked him about his sexuality and his reaction of some months before.

He walked towards me again, closing the distance between us, and I retracted my legs as he got closer, closing my notepad and putting it on the ground next to me, putting the pencil on top of it without looking at it.

He sat down next to me, putting his forearms on his knees and looking down, an expression I'd never seen before on his face. A mixture of defeat, and something I couldn't quite recognise. "He's been on my case since... you know" he said lowly, sounding like he was trying to keep a calm tone.

"Maybe he's worried about you" I replied, giving him a side glance, not really knowing what to say. I'd always been a good listener only when it came to the listening part. I sucked massively at giving replies, I felt as if whatever I would've said wouldn't have been the right thing. Harry, though, he made me wish I knew the right words to say.

"I don't need him to be worried about me!" He blurted, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath as soon as he noticed the sudden increase in the volume of his voice. He plucked a blade of grass, twirling it between his fingers, and I observed, almost entranced, the way the sunlight hit his rings at the movement. He shook his head lightly. "It makes me feel as if..." he stopped talking, looking up to give me a fast glance before letting his attention go back to the green blade, staying in silence for a few seconds as he seemed to be thinking about something. "As if I couldn't be trusted with myself" he muttered in the end, lowly.

I gave him a slight nod, even though I knew he wasn't looking at me. "Maybe he thinks he's helping you by acting like this" I suggested, trying my best to make him feel better. I didn't know why, but I didn't like the thought of Harry being pissed at all. Not because I feared for my own safety or the one of the people around him, but because I just didn't enjoy the thought of him being sad, or bothered by something.

"I don't need his help" he replied sharply, pulling the blade of grass over his middle finger hard enough for it to snap in two.

I considered putting my hand on his arm to try to calm him down, but I decided against it, not knowing if it would've done any good at all. "Try to see it from his point of view... you're basically his brother, after all" I said softly, trying to reason with him. I understood Harry when he said that Niall should've got off his back, but I also understood Niall. If what the blue-eyed boy had told me was true, he had every reason to be worried about Harry.

Harry huffed at my words. "I'm not his fucking brother" he said snappily, changing the position he was sitting in. A few seconds went by, spent in silence by the both of us, as he ran his fingers through his hair a few times, unintentionally messing it up. He plucked another blade of grass, pressing it between his fingers, pursing his lips. "I went to live with them when I was fourteen."

I took in the information in silence. I'd already supposed he hadn't been adopted when he was just a couple years old sometime after he'd told me his mother was a painter, but it still came as a surprise to realise that I'd been right. My second thought was about what I could've said to something like that. Did I just acknowledge it? Or should've I said something? My first instinct was to tell him I was sorry, but I felt as if he'd probably already heard it more times than he could count. I put my hand on his forearm, squeezing lightly.

He glanced up, acknowledging my action. He gave me a long stare, some kind of emotion I couldn't put my finger on held in it, before looking down again, putting his hand over mine for a fast second. "I don't want to talk about it" he said lowly, and I nodded.

I shifted a bit closer to him, instantly feeling the warmth radiating from his body as soon as I was close enough.

"I just want him to drop it for a while, at least" he said after a while, going back to the initial topic, letting out a sigh of distress.

I looked at the lake in front of us. I didn't like the thought of Harry being upset, it made me feel something into my chest that I didn't enjoy at all. I wished I knew the right thing to say in that moment, that would've made everything better, but I didn't.

I turned my head to look at him, he was still looking down, but this time he seemed to be playing with his rings, in a random, absentminded way. He looked up at me, probably sensing my gaze on him, and his eyes met mine.

I bit my lower lip as the sudden urge to get closer to him washed through me, causing my heart to beat a little faster, making me wonder if he was feeling in the same way. From where I was sitting, with my side brushing against him, it was impossible to ignore that force that pulled me towards him, in that moment harsher than usual. For a few slow seconds we just stared at each other, my heart thumping in my ears as a shiver of expectation ran down my spine. Then, all of sudden, the bubble that had surrounded us exploded, snapping like a rubber band before I could do anything to stop it. And I knew it was wrong, I knew it wasn't the right way to solve the problem. But despite all the things my mind was telling me, I still leant closer and pressed my lips to his.

It wasn't a long, passionate kiss. It was fast and feathery-like, my brain barely had the time to register the soft pressure of Harry's lips on mine before they were gone again. It was cold, but it made me feel warm inside, safe. For a second, it almost felt like home, but for just a second.

Harry sighed, resting his forehead in the crook of my neck, bringing me back to the present harshly.

I froze in my spot, a thousand of thoughts rushing through my mind in a matter of seconds at his apparently casual, but so unexpected, action. After those few initial moments passed, I hesitantly lifted my hand, passing my fingers through his hair once. When he didn't move away, or do anything that would've let me know the attention was unwanted, I started playing with his hair, calm settling in my chest when he put his hand on my waist, letting out a deep sigh.

After a while I allowed myself to relax, and rested my cheek on top of his head.

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