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It was cold, and Harry and I were waiting for Niall to arrive, sitting on the bench he used to occupy with his friends at the start of the school year.

I glanced at the tree in front of it, all the leaves were gone, the times I spent drawing the ones that had fallen on the floor seeming centuries away. So many things had changed since then.

I widened my eyes when Harry lay down, putting his head on my legs. I looked down at the sudden touch, discovering that he didn't seem to be minimally phased by what he'd just done. It was evident, in his closed eyes and in the relaxed expression on his face, that he hadn't overthought the action like I had, and that he'd done such a thing in a completely spontaneous way. It was weird, considering the way he usually acted, but not in a negative way. I just would've never expected him to willingly get that close to me in such a way.

I hesitantly put one of my hand on his chest, the other firmly gripping the wooden bench on the opposite side, watching him as he let out a deep breath as soon as he felt my touch on him.  I let go of the bench and dubiously brushed a strand of dark hair that was resting on his forehead, nervousness pervading me when his eyes shot open, his green irises piercing into mine.

"Are you tired?" I asked him as I put my hand back on the cold bench, the tone of my voice nonchalant as I tried my best to act as if he hadn't just caught me touching his hair.

He shrugged, as much as he could while he was in that position, not moving to sit up again and closing his eyes. "I haven't slept much lately" he replied quietly, the relaxed look finding its way back into his face and proving how tired he truly was. I was sure that in a normal occasion he would've never took down his guard like that while we were still on school ground.

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me, gathering the little bit of bravery that hadn't been destroyed by his initially cold gaze and lifting my hand to brush his hair again. His features softened when I intertwined my fingers with his dark curls, letting me know that what I was doing was okay. "Why?" I whispered back to him, temporarily stopping the motion of my hand.

"Just haven't" he replied quickly, but as faintly as me, making it clear that he had no intention of continuing that conversation. He let out another sigh, bending his knees over the bench, proving that he wasn't as relaxed as he seemed to be.

I leant back against the not so comfortable wooden surface, taking my hand out of Harry's hair as I glanced up, hoping to see Niall walking towards us. I let out a stressed sigh when I realised that the person that was walking towards us wasn't the blue eyed boy, but it was Zayn.

"I leave you alone for twenty-four hours and when I come back you're lying your head on her legs?" The raven-haired boy asked as he neared us, making some people that were hanging out in front of the building glance in our direction.

Harry sat up in the second he registered the comment, taking his legs off the bench and passing his fingers through his hair as he gave Zayn a half-tired, half-annoyed look. "Hi Zayn" he said quietly in the end, clearly deciding to completely ignore what he'd said.

"Free for hanging out today? Maybe getting a pizza too while we're at it" the dark-haired boy suggested while putting a cigarette between his lips and searching into his bag for something. After a few seconds he seemed to be able to find what he was searching for, that turned out to be a lighter. He brought it up, lighting the cigarette in a seemingly fast move before throwing it back where he'd found it.

Harry finally leaned against the back of the bench, feigning some of his usual nonchalance. Or at least, trying to, the task turning out to be way more complicated that he'd probably expected because of the tiredness in his eyes. "Sorry, but I'm taking Niall home and then I'm with her" he replied, his index slightly raising to point in my general direction as he spoke.

Zayn sighed, the smoke leaving his lips and intertwining with the air in front of him for a couple of seconds. "It seems like you have no more time for your friends" he said quietly, in the somewhat emotionless tone of voice he always used, but it was obvious that it was more than just a meaningless remark. In a way, I'd learnt that Zayn was similar to Harry. He didn't like to open his mouth for no reason so, if he said something, it meant that it was important to him.

"You know it's not that" the boy sitting next to me was fast to reply, standing up quickly as he looked at something behind the amber-eyed boy. "About time" he commented, looking at Niall as he reached us.

"Got held back by the teacher" the blue-eyed boy said quickly, short of breath, as soon as he joined us. "Sorry for making you wait" he added, the words clearly referred to Harry even though he wasn't looking at him.

I stood up as well, glad that we finally had a reason to get out of the freezing cold - and away from Zayn, that is. I bit my lower lip while Niall said something else, thinking of what Zayn had just said. It was clear that Zayn disliked me, and that I disliked him as well, but I'd never thought of our dislike for each other being the reason why Harry and Zayn didn't spend time together anymore. What if that was truly the reason, though? I hoped it wasn't. Despite everything, I could see that they were really close - and I had hope that Zayn was a good friend to Harry - so I didn't want them to stop seeing each other over me. But then again, what if the reason was completely different instead? I would've looked dumb trying to tell Harry I didn't want to come between him and his friendships.

I sighed. I knew I couldn't have had such a conversation with him. The only thing I could've done was stopping needing him around that often, so that he'd have more time to spend with his friends - if he wanted to of course, and if the lack of time was the real reason behind his apparent detachment from Zayn and, I supposed, Liam as well.

"Let's go" Harry said starting to walk towards the car park, leaving both Niall and I to rush after him.

The car ride was quiet, Niall being busy texting a girl he said he liked, and Harry being busy... well, with being Harry. I didn't mind, taking it as my opportunity to glance outside the window, letting my thoughts drift away for a moment.

We stopped in front of Niall and Harry's house to drop him off, but the car ended up being turned off right after, as Niall suggested having lunch together.

We walked inside the house, and I smiled a little, not missing the way Harry rolled his eyes when Niall almost ran to the kitchen to see what was there to eat. In the end, he decided to make a pasta - that ended up being absolutely dreadful, but I would've never told him, and for some reason Harry kept quiet about it as well. After that, Niall rushed to his room, saying that he wanted to call that girl, leaving us to clean up his mess. Harry got the dishes and put them in the sink, saying that he would've cleaned them later, and then he suggested that we could have gone to his room. I agreed quickly, knowing that his room was probably one of the places he felt most comfortable in, and we walked upstairs as well.

We'd been in his room for a couple of hours, sitting on his bed and talking about the maths test we'd done earlier that day, when a sudden shout interrupted the quietness of the afternoon.

"Harry Styles! Get down in this instant!"

I shot up instantly in the second I heard the shout coming from downstairs, a confused look on my face as I searched for Harry's eyes, trying to understand what was going on. "What?" I mouthed quietly to him, but he just shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows, proving that he knew as little as I did about whatever was happening.

"Come on" he said, getting off the bed, the frown not leaving his face as we made our way out of his bedroom.

I looked at him, my fingers wrapping around his forearm to stop him before he could walk down the stairs, forcing him to turn towards me. "Who's that?" I whispered, hoping to at least piece some clarification together.

"Niall's father" he replied, proceeding in walking down the stairs as soon as I let his arm go, with me following suit.

I frowned when we reached the lower floor, immediately understanding that there was something really wrong. Both Niall and his father were standing in the entrance of the house, a livid look in the eyes of the latter.

"Do you have something to tell me?" The man asked, an unnatural calm in his voice, his eyes penetrating right through Harry in a way that made me uneasy.

Harry gave him a confused glance, but shook his head, which was the worst thing he could've done.

"I'm not Maura, you will use your voice while talking to me!" The man seethed, taking a step closer to him in a somewhat menacing way.

Harry instinctively look a step back, bringing me with him, considering how close we were standing, putting some distance between us and the angered man in front of us. "I don't have anything to tell you" he replied quietly.

The man snarled, clearly unhappy with his reply. "Is that so?" He said, repressed anger in his voice. "Then, mind you telling me why, while I was picking your coat off the floor, this fell out of your pocket?!" He roared, throwing something that I hadn't even noticed he was holding at Harry's feet.

I looked down to see what it was, my eyes widening when I realised it was a white plastic bag, white powder in it. My gaze shot up, meeting Niall's shocked blue eyes for a second before I turned to look at Harry, seeing the colour drain from his face as he saw what was at his feet.

"I..." he started, a deep frown on his face, but he seemed to be at loss of words for a couple of seconds. "I've never seen it before" he breathed fast. "I didn't put it there."

Niall's father gave him a deadly glare. "Oh really? Are you trying to say that fucking heroin or cocaine or whatever the fuck that is just randomly fell from the sky into your pocket?" He said, his voice raising towards the end of the sentence. "Do you think I'm an idiot, boy?" He added, repressed anger in his voice.

"I didn't put it there" Harry repeated quietly, distress evident in the way his chest was rising and falling faster than normal.

"You know what?" The man said sharply. "We saw you get drunk and we stayed quiet, we saw you bring weed and we stayed quiet, you overdosed on who the hell knows what, and we still stayed silent! But this, this is too fucking far!" He shouted, the swear words feeling weird coming out of the mouth of a man his age, and also in front of his son, that is. "How dare you bring this shit into our house! You have no fucking respect for us, you completely disregard every rule as if you were above them! You have no respect for this family!"

"Dad, please..." Niall murmured from where he was standing, trying to stop his dad from verbally attacking Harry like that.

"No, this has to be said!" His father shouted, not even looking at him, his eyes still focused on Harry. "You know what?! I told my wife! When she came around all excited and bringing around the idea of adopting you, I told her that it was a stupid idea! That there had to be a reason why nobody fucking wanted you! And she didn't listen, but I was clearly right because you brought drugs into my house!"

I glanced at Harry, he seemed upset by what Niall's father had just told him, understandably so, but he seemed to be trying his best not to let it show. "I don't know where that thing is coming from. I don't take that stuff" he said quietly, seeming to want to reason with the enraged man in front of him without angering him more than he already had.

"Maybe I'd believe you if it wasn't you almost died because of shit like this not even a month ago!" The man spat, my eyes widening at the low blow. "You're so selfish it disgusts me! We gave you everything, and this is how you repay us? Were you planning on turning my son in a drug addict just like you are?!" He stepped closer to him, and Harry took another step back, inadvertently pulling me to stand a little behind him. "Don't forget that if it wasn't for us, you'd already be dead in some alley at this point."

Harry opened his mouth to reply, but shut it right after, not a sound coming out. He blinked a few times fast, his breathing so fast I could hear it from where I was standing, but didn't lower his gaze.

"Dad!" Niall shouted, intervening quickly almost as soon as the words left his dad's mouth, nearing him and putting a hand on his forearm. "How could you say something like that!"

His father scoffed, the displeased look not leaving his eyes. "He's fucked up" he hissed while staring straight into Harry's eyes. "He can't be saved."

"That thing isn't mine" Harry replied quietly, lowering his gaze to the plastic bag that was still at his feet for a fast second before looking at the man again.

"Like hell it's not yours!" Niall's father roared. "I'm absolutely disgusted in your behaviour! Bringing drugs in here, fucking disgusting. Do you take pleasure in ruining this family?"

I let my gaze fall to the ground, overwhelmed by the entire situation. My breath hitched in my throat for a second when the man took another step closer, cornering Harry and I against the wall, making me fear that things would've got physical. I knew that Harry could've easily overcome him if it came to that, considering his training, but something told me that if the man would've attacked Harry, he wouldn't have done much to defend himself. Despite everything, Harry didn't struck me as the kind of person that liked to hurt people - unlike Niall's father, whose words were as sharp as blades. They'd made me extremely uneasy and I didn't even live in that family, I wouldn't have dared to know the effect they had on Harry.

"Come on" a voice said next to me quietly, and my head snapped up, a sigh leaving my lips when I met Niall's blue eyes.

I furrowed my eyebrows, not understanding what he was on about. "What?" I asked confusedly, keeping my voice low to hide the conversation from Niall's dad, who was still shouting at Harry.

"I think it's time for you to go, there's nothing to see here" he replied quietly, and it was only in that moment that I noticed he was holding my coat. "Here you go" he said handing it to me. "I'm sorry about this."

I shook my head, taking it. "It's not your fault" I said, turning my head to glance at Harry, hoping to find a way to let him know I was going. But his attention was completely focused on the man in front of him, that was still spitting insults mixed with salty reprimands at him, so I just shook my head, fleeing out of the door.

I realised that I hadn't even put my coat on when the cold air suddenly enveloped me, instantly freezing me down to my bones. I slipped the coat on just as the door slammed shut behind me, closing it quickly to keep the last bit of warmth on me. I suddenly widened my eyes when I realised I'd left my bag inside, dreading the idea of having to ring the doorbell in that moment. I turned around, just to find out that my bag was already outside, on the doormat.

I picked it up, glad that Niall had remembered about it, given that I hadn't, throwing it over my shoulder, giving a fast glance to the door behind me, through which I could still hear the screams of rage of Niall's father, even though they were too muffled for me to understand what he was saying. I sighed, hoping that Harry would've been alright, and starting to walk towards the nearest bus stop. If it was for me, I wouldn't have left him alone to face the situation, but it was clear that it was something he had to solve with his family, and I had no place there in that moment.

I looked up when I arrived at the bus stop, resorting to waiting for the right one to pass. I couldn't have been gladder that I'd already taken the bus to Niall and Harry's house once, so I already knew how to get back home. I sighed again, trying to ignore the uneasiness I was feeling. Drugs. And Harry. Harry has drugs. Did it mean that he used them? Could've been. He surely wasn't selling them - I hoped so, at least.

I gave the asphalt in front of me a shocked glance. It didn't make any sense. I knew Harry got high sometimes, but I thought it was on weed - aside from the accident of a month before - not something like whatever that white powder was. That was messed up. And the way Niall's father had reacted, that was messed up. It was almost as if he'd enjoyed to call him out in front of other people too, and that wasn't okay, whether Harry actually owned whatever that was or not. I couldn't help but wonder if that was how it was in their house on a daily basis. Niall's mother being way more understanding towards Harry, while Niall's father was... just like that. I hoped I'd witnessed a one time thing. The way that man had treated Harry, the things he'd said, they just weren't okay, especially considering... everything. I wondered what he'd meant when he said that there had to be a reason why nobody wanted him. That was an oddly specific remark, despite the way it'd been carelessly thrown around.

I glanced up again when the bus arrived, getting on it and paying for my ticket before sitting on an empty seat in the middle, glancing out of the window.

It was messed up. Everything was so messed up.

I stared at my reflection on the glass. The sky was starting to get dark, and the lights of the bus were on, making the reflection even more vivid. On the seat on the opposite side of mine, there was an elderly woman, seeming to be searching for something in her bag.

I sighed, focusing my attention back on what was out of the window, instead of what was inside the bus.

I didn't know how I felt about what had just happened. It was just... unexpected, and very messed up. Crazy. I wondered if it would've been a good idea to call Harry later that night to see how he was. It probably wasn't though, it would've been better to just wait for him to call me instead. So that he would've talked to me only when he felt like it or something like that. Something told me it would've been better not to push him so close to what had just happened.

The bus stopped at my stop, and I got off, wrapping my coat around myself tighter and putting my hands in my pockets as I walked in the direction of my house as quickly as possible, not wanting to linger in the cold weather for a second longer.

I wondered what was going on at Niall and Harry's house in that moment. If they'd stopped arguing, if Harry had noticed I'd left. I hoped that, if he had, he hadn't minded. It just didn't feel right to be there in that moment. I shouldn't have been there in a similar moment. Thinking about it, there were a lot of things that just shouldn't have gone how they'd actually gone. I was just another of them.

I took the keys to my house out of my bag as I neared the door, quickly unlocking it when I reached it and sliding inside, closing it behind myself. I glanced around, realising that I was alone. I left my bag on the ground and took off my coat, putting it on the hanger, before taking off my shoes. I left everything there and walked upstairs, opening the door to my bedroom and walking inside, closing it behind myself, turning on the light.

I found myself staring at the floor for a few seconds, still trying to process everything that had just happened. I slid down, my back against the door, staring at the opposite wall.

That was really messed up.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter x

Miki

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