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"I'm sorry for leaving you yesterday" I said as we walked into the cafeteria, kind of regretting my decision of the day before. He didn't need to tell me explicitly to know that I'd inadvertently hurt him with my actions.

Harry shrugged. "It's fine" he replied, quickly silencing me. "Let's sit."

We walked towards the table that Zayn was sitting on and I sat down on a chair in front of him, putting my coat on my legs and looking up at Harry as he took his coat off and draped it on the back of the last free chair before sitting down as well.

Zayn looked up from his phone, a somewhat annoyed look on his face that I couldn't understand the reason of. I'd never seen him so upset before, he usually was almost as good as Harry at not letting his emotions show. "Surprised you haven't forgotten about me yet" he said, quietly but somewhat snappily, earning a confused look from Harry.

"What?" He asked, a hint confusion in his voice as he slowly leaned back against the chair, as if he could sense the storm that was about to come.

Zayn shook his head, locking the phone and almost throwing it on the table. "You know what, Harry? I knew how you were when we first met. Fuck, you were only fourteen, but I just knew you weren't the kind to get close to anyone." He snorted, glaring at him across the table. "I stood by your side year by year, watching you hang out with always different people, keeping them around for as long as you were entertained and then just throwing them away when you were done with them, as if they were nothing." He shook his head, as if he couldn't come to terms with the words that were leaving his mouth. "I hoped I wouldn't have been one of them" he said quietly, looking down. "I convinced myself that it was alright, that I could've taken your friendship for as long as you were willing to give it to me, but I was so fucking wrong."

Harry gave him an almost shocked look, clearly not believing the words that were leaving his friend's mouth as well. "What are you talking about?" He asked him, his voice low as if he was trying his best to keep a calm tone, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I tried my best to be the friend you needed, Harry, and I don't even fucking know why because you never cared enough to do the same!" He looked down at the table, suddenly realising that he'd raised his voice a bit too much, and that some people in the cafeteria were looking at us. Honestly, what was up with Harry's friends and addressing personal arguments in public places?

"Niall, Liam, they were all bitching about your behaviour, but I just went along with it, because I supposed you needed at least one of us by your side, but this just got too fucked" the raven-haired boy hissed, sending Harry a sharp glare before giving me a quick look, so penetrating that it urged me to look away.

Harry's defences crumbled down at the sound of his words, and he gave him a somewhat pained look. "I had no idea..." he said quietly, but let his voice fade away, as if he couldn't find something to say.

"Of course you didn't. When ever do you notice something that isn't in your line of interest?" The boy snapped harshly at him, quickly shutting him up. "The argument you had with Liam made me realise one thing. You have a new toy now" he said, glancing at me. "And I just know it's a matter of time before you push me to the side just like you've done with everybody else."

A frown took over Harry's face. "That isn't true-"

"It is Harry, and you fucking know it! How much have we seen each other since she came around?"

Harry opened his mouth to reply, but shut it, not a word coming out, right after, making me realise that he had no idea.

I stared down at the table in front of me. I'd already suspected it, but Zayn's outburst had taken any doubt away from me. Without even meaning to, I'd come between him and his friends. I sighed, trying to push away the guiltiness as soon as it poked up in my mind. Was that the reason why Zayn disliked me so much? And most importantly, was I the reason of the argument? The simple idea made me feel sick. I didn't want to be at fault for having pushed one of Harry's friends away when he most needed him.

"That's it, Harry. I'm not gonna let you push me aside like you did with all the others. I have a dignity. Bye, I hope your behaviour will not make you wind up alone in the end." He stood up, grabbing his phone from the table and his coat from the chair next to Harry's before walking out of the room, leaving us in the middle of the room with everyone looking at us.

I glared at a couple of people before turning my head to look at Harry. He was hiding his face in his hands, a position I was starting to become a little too familiar with, his elbows on the table.

"Hey" I said quietly, scooting my chair closer to his and putting my hand on his shoulder, hoping that it would've been enough to reassure him in some way without having to hug him in the middle of the cafeteria. I wouldn't have had any problem with that if I had to be honest, I just wasn't that sure he would've been okay with it as well.

All of sudden a ring broke the silence and I looked up fast. It sounded somewhat familiar, but I knew it wasn't my phone, given that I always kept it on silent when I was at school.

"I think your phone is ringing" I said quietly, glancing up as I spoke to discover that everybody had gone back to whatever they were doing, and that we weren't the centre of their attention anymore. I couldn't help but be glad about it, it had unsettled me deeply to be stared at that much. I really didn't understand how Harry could go through that every single day so carelessly.

"Pocket of my coat" he replied quietly, not making a move to get it himself.

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me, and checked the pocket that was closer to me, just to find it empty. I sighed, uncomfortable with the fact that he'd left me to go through his things, standing up and rounding his chair to get to the right pocket.

I put my hand inside, touching the side of the phone right away. I pushed my hand in a bit more to grab it, my fingers touching something else that was inside. I furrowed my eyebrows when I realised it was something made of plastic, confusion on my features as I quickly debated if I should've gone into the matter or not. It probably just was a packet of tissues or something like that, if I had to be honest, but it didn't make it any less curious to me.

I nervously bit my lower lip, hoping that Harry wouldn't catch me as I crouched down next to his chair, taking the thing I'd found and slowly sliding it out of his pocket, my eyes widening when I saw it was a little plastic bag containing what seemed to be over fifteen pills, the anonymous way in which they were put making me feel like they weren't any kind of prescription pills at all.

I quickly shoved it back inside his pocket, quickly taking his phone - that had stopped ringing at that point - and putting it down on the table before standing up fast. "Let's go outside" I said quietly, trying to keep a soft tone despite what I'd just discovered, putting my hand on Harry's arm to catch his attention.

He looked up at me, a confused look on his face at my words, but he stood up anyway, putting on his coat and shoving his phone into the pocket again, not caring enough to check who had been calling.

I put on my coat as well, taking my bag and following him as we walked out of the cafeteria, quietly directed outside.

When we got out of the front door of the building Harry turned to glance at me, his features tense, waiting for me to say something. I shook my head, taking his arm and walking down the few steps, not stopping until we were standing almost on the pavement.

"Check your right pocket" I simply said, motioning towards it as I stood in front of him.

He furrowed his eyebrows at my words, but did what I'd told him to do, widening his eyes in the second he took the little plastic packet out of it. "This isn't mine" he said quickly, a worried look in his eyes. "You have to believe me, Sierra. Please."

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as I realised how fucked up everything was. "I believe you" I said in the end, not missing the confused glance he sent my way.

"What?" He asked me, as if he couldn't believe the words he'd just heard.

I shrugged, looking at his closed fist, that I knew was hiding the little plastic bag from view. "You wouldn't have put it in your pocket not even two weeks after Niall's dad found drugs in there. That's stupid"

He gave me a slow nod, putting the packet back into his pocket as he stared at the ground, seemingly lost in thought, an indecipherable look into his green eyes. "Fuck" he hissed in the end, sitting down on the bench that was next to us and hiding his face into his hands, seeming to have realised just in that moment just how messed up everything was.

"Hey" I said softly, sitting on the bench next to him, hesitantly putting my hand on his back, moving it up and down his spine in what I hoped could've been a soothing way. "We're gonna find out who did this."

He ignored my words, leaning back against the cold bench. "I'm so... tired of this" he said quietly, staring at the ground with a distressed look on his face. "It's wearing me out."

"I know" I replied, squeezing his shoulder gently. Since the first packet had been found, his life had taken a sudden turn for the worst. Niall's family apparently hated him now, and wanted to kick him out, Liam had left him, and apparently Zayn had just done the same. I wondered who had placed the first packet, and the second. Who would want to hurt someone else in such a way? I could see how drained Harry was, in the dark bags under his eyes and in the continuous tenseness of his features. It was as if someone was trying to get him from fatigue, and I couldn't understand why. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you" I added quietly in the end, finally wrapping my arm around his shoulders, my heart stopping at the way he let himself fall back against me, his head on my shoulder.

"It's fine" he said faintly, dismissing my apology quickly as he always did. I didn't understand if he just could never get himself to be mad at me specifically, or if he just generally didn't think it was a big deal if people hurt him.

I sighed, listening to the faint sound of his breath that was hitting my neck regularly. "No, it isn't."

He didn't reply, and we stayed in silence for a while, sitting on the bench in the cold air of December, his head still in the crook of my neck, my arm still around him as I felt no desire to let him go.

"Sierra?" He called faintly after a while, and I hummed lightly to make him know that I was listening to him. "Do you think Zayn was right?"

His question caught me by surprise, but I shrugged gently in reply. "I don't know much about you two and how much time you spend together, so I don't think I'm the right person to ask to" I replied softly.

"I don't have anybody else" he said in a faint whisper, making my heart break.

I pursed my lips, thinking of what to reply. "If he brought it up I suppose that's how he actually feels, so maybe you should talk to him about it, see if you can sort it out" I said, hoping that my suggestion wouldn't have resulted in them arguing again.

A small silence followed, before he spoke again. "I've spent more time with you than him lately" he murmured, adjusting his body against mine in a more comfortable position.

"I don't want to come between you and your friends, Harry" I said, voicing my fears for the first time.

"You aren't." He let out a little sigh. "It's different."

I distanced myself a bit from him to be able to look at him. "How so?" I asked curiously, not understanding what was so different. We were close in different ways than him and Zayn were for sure, but we still talked about things that I supposed he addressed with his friends as well.

"I've never been... this open with him" Harry shared quietly, detaching his body from mine and going back to sitting next to me, our arms brushing. "We usually go somewhere and get drunk, or high. I didn't think it mattered that much to him." He frowned, looking down again, lost in his thoughts.

"Everyone shows friendship in different ways" I said quietly, side-glancing at him. "Some people hug a lot, others you can say everything to and they'll listen." I looked up to the closed front door of the building almost in front of me. "Others will offer to share their cigarette with you" I said, a little smile forming on my face at my words.

He let out a little laugh. "Or their weed."

I chuckled. "That, too."

"I'm driving Niall home today" he said, quickly changing topic, sitting up straighter to put his hand into his pocket to get the little plastic bag again, carefully taking it out and slipping it into my hand. "Can you throw it away while you go home?"

I nodded, shoving it into the pocket of my coat. "Sure."

Another silence followed, in which none of us moved. I took out my phone, checking the time and discovering that our free period would've ended soon.

"Harry?" I said quietly as a sudden thought crossed my mind, making him turn his head to look at me. "If you feel like getting drunk or high tonight, please just come to mine instead. There are other ways to distract yourself" I told him softly. After everything that had happened that day, it wasn't impossible to believe that that was how he would've probably ended his day.

"Oh really?" He said, giving me a sharp look and making me realise that he'd understood my words in a quite different way from how I'd meant them.

"You know I didn't mean it in that way" I said quickly, the suggestiveness in his voice intimidating me. I'd never really thought about it before, but I suddenly found myself thinking of how someone like him would've been in bed. Would he have been gentle, trying to form a connection, or would he have been raw, demanding, passionate? I shook my head, trying to get rid of the unwanted thoughts.

He sighed, going back to stare at the ground. "I wouldn't have minded" he replied quietly, brushing his hair back. It had started to be just a bit longer, and it seemed to get in the way of his vision almost every time he looked down.

"I'm not ready for that" I said, lifting my feet up on the bench and wrapping my arms around my knees as I stared ahead, trying to decide if I wanted to say anything more about it. "I, uh, I'm a virgin. So that's why" I whispered quickly in the end, feeling as if maybe I should've given him some kind of explanation, considering we'd been quite close for over a couple of months.

"I understand" he replied, the softness in his voice making me understand that he really did, and wasn't just saying it for the sake of it.

I turned my head to look at him. "You aren't a virgin" I deadpanned, making him laugh.

"I'm not." He let out a little sigh, taking a grey beanie out of the left pocket of his black coat and putting it on, the action seeming a bit pointless considering we'd been outside for quite a while.

"When did you lose your virginity?" I asked curiously, realising right after how weird the question sounded. It had probably sounded even more inappropriate to him, considering how private he was about almost anything, and I already felt like kicking myself for asking such a thing. "Sorry" I said, trying to cover up quickly, but he surprised me.

"Uh, I was sixteen, I think" he said, staring ahead again as he spoke. "She was seventeen. We kind of were together for some weeks, and Zayn said I should've taken it further. It was what I was supposed to do, so I did." He turned his head to glance at me. "I'm not going to say it was awful. Sex is sex."

I nodded, pretending to understand his point of view, not really knowing how I felt about what he'd just revealed.

He smiled, looking down at his legs. "Niall's mum freaked when she found out."

I gave him a weird glance, not having expected him to say that at all. "How did she find out?" I asked, trying to think of how it could've happened. I stopped right after, not really enjoying the images brought into my mind by my imagination.

"I slept at that girl's. She put two and two together" Harry replied, the reality proving to be way less terrifying than I had imagined. "Niall's parents kept telling me how stupid it had been of me for such a long time. They thought I was too young, or something like that."

Harry cleared his throat before speaking again, his gaze focused on the ground in front of him again. "One day when I was seventeen and pissed off by their behaviour, I brought a classmate home and we slept together in my bedroom as revenge. That's when I figured out I kinda like it. I called him over a few more times after that." He let out a little laugh as he thought back of that moment.

I nodded, trying to take it all in. "That's a wild first time story" I commented.

He laughed, still looking away into nothing. "I guess."

"Do you wish you hadn't?" I asked him quietly after a couple of seconds. "Lost it like that, I mean."

He turned his head to finally glance at me, seeming to be thinking of the reply before speaking. "I don't really care, it's only sex. I think what makes it special is the person you're with, not whether it's the first time or not."

"Makes sense" I said, putting my head on my knees and staring at the wall of the building in front of me. After a while spent in silence, I turned my head to glance at him again. "Will you model for me?"

He hummed. "Another project?"

I shook my head. "A competition thing or something. I don't remember if I've already told you about it or not."

"I will" he replied quietly, a small silence enveloping is again as I stared ahead, a faint feeling of content in my chest.

"We should go back inside" I said after what felt like some minutes, and he nodded, standing up.

We walked back into the building as the bell rang, effectively signalling the end of our free period. We parted ways and I started to walk towards my next class, sitting down at my usual desk as soon as I arrived.

I quietly took my latest project out and put it on the table as I waited for the teacher to come, giving a fast glance around to discover that in the room there were only Aiden, that was looking at his phone, and another boy I didn't know the name of. I took out a notebook and started to draw little leaves on the corner as usual while I tried to make the time pass faster.

I furrowed my eyebrows when my phone suddenly buzzed against my thigh, and I took it, turning it around just to discover that I'd just got a new message from an unknown number.

How can you trust someone you don't even know the basics of?

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