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I got out of the house when I heard a car stop in front of it, sending it a confused glance when I discovered that it wasn't Harry's. I didn't have to wonder long though, as the door on the driver's side and Liam exited the vehicle, leaning his forearms on the roof as he looked at me in silence.

"Hi" I said, but it came out as more of a question than anything else, slowly closing the door behind myself and walking towards the street. "Where's Harry?" I added, hoping that it wouldn't have sounded rude, simply unable to understand why Harry wasn't there, and why Liam was in his usual parking spot.

"Hey" he replied, shooting me a quick smile. "Harry woke up late, so he asked me to come get you instead. He figured you wouldn't have wanted to get to class late."

I gave him a careful nod. "It makes sense." I opened the door, but waited for Liam to sit back in the car before sitting down on the passenger seat as well. I closed the door and put my bag between my legs, giving him a side glance as he turned on the engine. "Thank you" I added for good measure, since it was quite kind of him to drive me as he had no obligation to. It felt a bit awkward for us to be in the car so carelessly, considering the events of the day before. I blushed slightly, I probably had indeed overreacted and had managed to scare both him and Zayn. I wondered what they thought of me now, but I also didn't want to know.

I'd never been as scared as I'd been the day before, when I thought that something had indeed happened to Harry, and that was why he'd disappeared. It'd really helped me to understand how much he meant to me - even though I'd been replying to his I love you's for days, I didn't think I'd truly realised what those words truly meant until what had happened. I didn't even think there were words to describe the feeling that had overcome me at the thought of him being hurt or worse. I'd felt as if my heart had stopped dead in my chest even though I could feel it beat harshly against my ribcage, to the point that it wouldn't have surprised me if it had managed to break through and fall on the ground at my feet. It had been terrifying, even though that word wasn't nearly enough to describe it.

"So how's it been going? Between you and Harry, lately?" Liam asked while he was driving all of sudden, shaking me out of my thoughts.

I glanced at him, not entirely sure of the answer. Even if he hadn't really done anything weird lately - aside from leaving of course - I could sense that there was something between us. I couldn't tell if it was bad or good, and it unsettled me. Harry had always been kind of unreadable, but never to that degree, and I didn't know what to think of it. The day before he'd been as open as I'd never seen him, and yet he'd managed to be the most ambiguous I'd ever seen him. But I couldn't have told him that, mostly because I knew Harry still wasn't exactly in good terms with him, it didn't matter how hard I wished that someone would've brought some sense to his delphic behaviour. "I think fine, why?" I ended up saying, hoping that the pause before my answer wouldn't have been suspicious to him.

He shrugged, his eyes focused on the road. "No particular reason, I was just curious."

I nodded, trying my best to act as if his question hadn't been a bit weird. After all, we weren't nearly close enough for him to expect me to randomly confide in him, so it was quite clear that there was a very specific reason why he'd asked me that. "Alright" I simply said, deciding to let it go, going back to looking out of the window.

There were a couple of minutes of silence before Liam spoke again. "He seemed a bit upset yesterday evening" he said, and I turned my head to glance at him. His eyebrows were furrowed, a confused look on his face as he spoke.

"Really?" I asked, knowing that it was kind of a stupid thing to ask, but not knowing what to do with the silence he'd given me to reply in.

"Yeah" he replied. "He called me sounding a bit panicked. I don't even know what he expected me to say."

I nodded, not really knowing what to say. I was a bit surprised to hear that he was upset, but not too much, considering his weird behaviour of the day before. I wondered if it had any connection with him waking up late that morning. It had never really happened before, anyway. I wondered what he was upset about, considering that nothing important had happened lately - that I knew of, at least. "Oh, okay."

"It's just been hard lately, with Niall and everything" he added, sounding a bit worried, and I suddenly realised that he wasn't expecting me to confide in him, but that on the contrary, he was the one that wanted to talk to someone about it.

"I know" I replied with a sigh. Everything had become so much more complicated since Niall had messed up, and it had especially taken a toll on Harry. "What was he upset about?" I asked, wondering what had led him to call Liam in the evening even if they weren't as close as they used to be anymore.

He shrugged, stopping the car in the car park. "I don't know, he wouldn't tell me. I was hoping you could clarify" he admitted, and I simply nodded, even though I was starting to feel a bit nervous. Harry wasn't exactly easy to deal with whenever he was upset about something - I knew that by now - and the fact that he wasn't sharing the reason of his concerns with anyone worried me more than I would've liked to admit.

"He seemed quite alright yesterday to me" I replied, partially saying the truth. He hadn't done anything that I could've classified as particularly weird anyway, and maybe I was the only one that had noticed the odd vibe that had lingered in our afternoon, so there was no reason to point it out to anyone else. What could I have even said, anyway? That he was being more affectionate than usual? Nobody in their right mind would've seen it as a cause for concern.

"Oh" he said, opening the car door but not making a move to step out of the vehicle. "I suppose he'll let someone know at some point then. Maybe I'll ask Zayn later."

I nodded. "It could be an idea" I said truthfully, opening the door as well and putting a foot out on the ground. "Thank you so much for taking me."

He gave me a little smile and shrugged. "It's alright, it's something friends do, and we're friends, right?"

I paused at his words, but I didn't need to think about them for long before replying. "Yes, sure" I said, playing with the home button of my phone in my lap and widening my eyes when I saw the time. "I really need to go or I'll be late, bye."

"Goodbye" he replied, and I gave him a little nod before quickly getting out of the car and rushing towards the building.

I went inside and quickly made my way to my maths class, trying by best not to bump into anyone in the heavily crowded corridor, not even stopping to see if I could see Harry anywhere, quite sure that he still hadn't arrived.

It was only when I stepped into the classroom that I realised I wasn't nearly as late as I thought I was, and I sighed, making my way to my usual desk - that was empty, just like almost half of the class.

I took off my coat and put it over the back of the chair before sitting down on it, taking a pencil and my usual notepad out and starting to sketch in the corner as I'd used to before I'd started spending my mornings with Harry.

Not long after other people started entering the class, filling it quickly as the hour of its start approached. Finally the teacher arrived and closed the door, a plastic cup of coffee in his hand, and the class started. I wasn't too concerned about the fact that Harry still hadn't shown up, mostly because of Liam had told me he'd woken up late, so I just started listening to the teacher as he started talking about maths, leaning against his desk, sipping his cup of coffee every once in a while.

About ten minutes went by before Harry suddenly entered the classroom, completely ignoring the stares everyone gave him as he walked towards me, sitting down next to me. I side-glanced at him as he took off his coat and draped it over the back of the chair before turning around and putting his maths book on the table, the action a bit quicker and sharper than usual. It didn't look like he'd slept much the past night, and he seemed kind of distressed, so I just kept my silence, waiting for him to say something to direct the conversation appropriately.

"I didn't think this seat would've still been free" he commented after taking a pencil out, playing with it a bit, his voice low, his eyes focused on the teacher to avoid him realising that he was talking to me.

I furrowed my eyebrows at his words. It would've been a quite normal thing to say usually as he'd just arrived late, but he was Harry, so it wasn't normal at all. "Everyone knows you always sit here" I replied, giving him a glance as I spoke, and he just gave me a little nod, starting to pay attention to what the teacher was saying.

I frowned, as it wasn't like him to seem so detached, but I just pinned it on him having a rushed morning, and went back to looking at the teacher again, trying my best to ignore Harry's presence next to me and the thoughts racing in my head about his odd behaviour.

Not too long had gone by before I suddenly felt the need to look at him again to discover what he was up to, considering that he was unnaturally silent - even for him.

I sent a quick look at the teacher, making sure that he wasn't paying attention to me, before turning to glance at Harry, furrowing my eyebrows when I saw that he seemed to be really concentrated on his maths book, reading the sentences and underlining stuff every once in a while. "What are you doing?" I asked him gently, finding his behaviour to be quite out of character.

"Studying" he replied quietly, the pencil still held carefully in his hand, not even glancing up to look at me.

I studied his features, a frown on my face, not understanding what was going on - if something was going on at all. He seemed to be unnaturally detached, and I couldn't understand why. I wondered if I'd done something wrong and he was mad at me, but I was pretty sure I hadn't. Not that I could remember, at least. "Studying?" I asked him, even his reply seeming odd to me. He'd never studied in class before - he usually just made conversation or wrote things down.

"I have to pass the next exam" he replied, glancing up at me for the quickest second before going back to paying attention to his book. A strand of dark hair fell on his forehead, low enough for him to be able to see it, but he made no move to push it back, and just pursed his dark pink lips as he stared down, playing with the pencil in his hand.

His reply didn't lessen my curiosity in the slightest, though. "You always pass maths exams" I told him, and it was true. He always passed them, and he passed them well. He certainly didn't seem like the kind of person that would've needed to start studying in class just not to fail.

He didn't reply verbally, but shot me a quick glance that told me to stop prying into his business as he wasn't comfortable with me doing so, and even if I was more than confused by his enigmatic behaviour, I decided to let it go for a while.

"Miss Regan and Mr Styles, stop talking and pay attention" someone said all of sudden and I glanced up, discovering that our maths teacher was staring at us from the front of the class, a severe look in his eyes.

Not wanting to get called out again, I had to resign, and I went back to paying attention for the rest of the class, that went by as silent from his side as it had started.

After what felt like ages it finally ended, and I gathered my stuff, waiting for Harry to do the same before following him out of the room.

We entered the cafeteria to spend our free period there as we always did and we sat down at a table in the corner, not wanting to be disturbed by anyone. The hope I'd carried of being able to talk to him quickly shattered when I saw him pull out that maths book again and open it in front of himself.

I sighed as silently as possible, not wanting him to notice my distress, and pretended to do something on my phone, not wanting the other people in the cafeteria to realise that I was being ignored - not that they would've cared, anyway.

I grew bored of it fairly quickly though as I had nobody to text and nothing to do, and I locked the screen and put the device on the table in front of us, suddenly determined to get some answers. "Is there something wrong?" I asked him, looking at him as he kept paying attention to the maths book. At that point I'd started to wonder if he truly wanted to study, or if he was trying to avoid having a conversation.

He gave me a quick glance. "No, why?" He asked back, the tone of his voice sounding a bit drier than usual, leaving me more confused than before. I wish I knew what was going on in his mind in that moment, because he'd never really acted like that before.

"Nothing, you're acting a bit weird" I told him, hoping that he would get the little hint and tell me what was going on with him. We were together after all, and if there was something wrong with him I would've preferred to know, and maybe help him as well, if he needed me to.

"I'm not" he said sharply, and I just stared at him in confusion. The way he'd replied made it obvious that something was bothering him, and he must've noticed it too, because he finally looked up at me. "Sorry, it's the stress" he whispered with a sigh.

"Alright" I simply replied, deciding to let it go as he clearly didn't want to talk about it and it wasn't worth arguing with him about.

He gazed at me for some seconds more before looking down again and going back to paying attention to the maths book in front of him, his action making me want to sigh. I wondered why he was acting like that, because it made less sense the more he went on.

All of sudden Zayn arrived, and loudly sat down next to Harry, looking at him as he underlined a sentence on the book. "Harry, why the hell are you studying?" He blurted, voicing the same thing I'd wondered not to long before.

"He said he needs to pass the exam" I replied, giving him the same reply Harry had given me, wanting to see if he would've been as confused by it as I was.

He turned out not to be though and he just gave Harry a little glance, and I couldn't understand if he was judging him or if he was sorry about whatever he was going through. "I guess you really don't want to face your problems, huh?" He then told him, and I frowned, finding his sentence way more confusing than everything Harry had done until then.

He finally managed to get Harry's attention though, because he looked up and gave him a hard glance I couldn't quite recognise. "I'm studying" he said lowly, as if he was daring him to say something else.

"You hardly do" Zayn replied, not seeming to be affected in the slightest by the glare his friend had sent his way. "Yeah, I'm sure you'll figure that shit out" he commented, before standing up and going away, leaving us alone again.

•  •  •

"What was Zayn talking about?" I asked Harry when we stopped in front of my house. I took the key out of my pocket and unlocked the door, but didn't make any move to walk in as I waited for his reply.

"Nothing" he said, and I sent him a glance. It was clear that he was lying, and he knew I knew, but he didn't seem to have any intention of letting me in the secret that was so carefully held between Zayn and him.

I sent him a quick nod, not wanting to let it get to me. It was alright if he didn't feel comfortable with letting me know something, but I still wished he felt secure enough to tell me if something was on his mind, clearly bothering him. "Okay" I said easily, even if I didn't feel near as calm as I sounded. "So you want to come in?" I then asked, quickly changing the topic, hoping that he would've said yes. I'd never doubted his reply before, but on that day something told me that he wouldn't have been as willing to spend time with me as he usually was, and I quickly discovered that I was right when he replied.

"I have to go to the gym" he replied, his tone sounding kind of apologetic but not quite, as if he wasn't truly sorry about it, but wanted me to believe that he was. It was clear that something was on his mind at his point, and it saddened me to know that he wasn't comfortable with sharing it with me, but I knew I couldn't have done anything to change his mind.

"Oh alright" I said, trying my best to keep the tone of my voice as cheerful as always not to let my saddened mood weigh over his pensive one too. "And later?" I added, not being able to drown the hope that he would've said yes and hating myself for it. I just couldn't make sense of his suddenly detached behaviour, because it didn't make sense if I compared it to the way he'd acted the day before. It absolutely didn't make any sense, and I couldn't understand.

He shrugged, looking away for a quick second, not seeming to possess the answer to my question. "I will see" he said in the end, and it sounded more like a concession than anything else.

"Okay" I replied, deciding to act as if it was enough for me, not wanting to push him away. I knew he could seem detached at times, especially when something was going on in his mind, and I didn't want to be upset about it, risking to put an unnecessary distance between us, as I'd already done in the past.

He gave me a little nod, turning around and starting to walk back to his car, not saying a single word of farewell - which would've surprised me, if I hadn't known that sometimes he just was like that.

"Harry" I called him quickly as another thought crossed my mind, and he stopped, turning around to glance at me in silence as he waited for me to go on. "I hope that you'll manage to figure out whatever it is you're struggling with. I'm here if you want to talk" I told him, and he gave me a little nod before getting inside his car and driving away, leaving me to stare after him while I was standing in front of my door, even more confused than before.

I shook my head and turned around, finally opening the door and going inside, not being able to shake away the odd feeling that had settled into my chest. Up until that moment, I'd supposed that he had something else in his mind and that's why he acted like that, but what if the problem was something else entirely?

What if I was the problem?

I took off my coat and pushed the thought at the back of my mind, not even wanting to address it, because I knew that if I'd started doubting myself in my relationship with Harry, I would've never ended. The best option was to wait for him to tell me whatever was going on whenever he felt ready to, even though it didn't feel nice to wait around him while he acted in that way.

I took off my shoes and entered the kitchen to get myself a glass of water, suddenly stopping in my tracks when I realised something.

He hadn't even said he loved me that day.

To be honest, it wasn't like we'd talked that much at all, and in his defence neither had I, so maybe I was making a big deal out of something what wasn't even there. I hated that he was acting like that instead of facing whatever issue he was struggling with, because I felt kind of dismissed, and considering the strong emotions of the day before, I wasn't exactly handling it well.

But I knew better than to call him and make a big deal out of it before he was ready to share, so I just kept walking and took a glass out of the cupboard, filling it with water and sipping it while leaning against the counter. There was only one thing to do, and it was to wait for him to talk to me, because I knew that Harry was stubborn, and that I would've never managed to get him to tell me anything if he didn't want to.

I finished drinking and turned around, washing the glass before drying it quickly and putting it back in the cupboard. Maybe he would've managed to come to mine later that day, and maybe he would've finally opened up about whatever it was that got him so silent. That would've been nice, I supposed, especially because it's always better to talk to someone else if something's wrong. It was a bit weird to know that Zayn knew and I didn't, but after all he was his best friend, so it kind of made sense. I just wished he would've felt comfortable enough to tell me as well.

I exited the kitchen and went upstairs, starting to work on my next art project, taking advantage of the little free time I had. We'd stopped working with our models a few weeks before, and now we were focusing on nature - I liked that. It was much easier than drawing people, and way more relaxing. It felt like a nice thing to do as I waited around to see if Harry would've come to mine on that day, after all.

The robin on the paper sheet was shining of vivid shades, a curious look in its dark beady eyes as it stared right up at me.

He never came.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. x

Miki

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