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Chapter Five

The last time I was this nervous, I was standing in front of a crowd talking about Logan. Kyle helped me through the speech when I couldn't hold the tears back, and now when I need his support I can't ask for it.

It's the universe telling me this is a terrible idea, but I choose to ignore it.

"Are you almost ready to leave?" Mum pokes her head into my room and smiles.

I jump away from the mirror and grab my ballet flats from my wardrobe. She steps into the room and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Is this the same Blake you like?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Yes," I sheepishly admit.

"So you're hanging out?"

"We're running lines together because we're both in the drama play. He's the prince while I have the understudy role for the princess."

"Hm, right." She slowly nods.

"What's the supposed to mean?"

She raises her eyebrows and chuckles.

"Just message me if you need picking up earlier. Your father and I decided to stay in for dinner instead of going out."

"Okay, thanks." I nod.

I grab my handbag from the bed and follow Mum to the car. She hums to a pop song on the radio as we drive to Blake's house.

The nerves only hit once we're outside his house and I'm climbing out of the car.

"Just remember to call if you need picking up."

"Thanks, I will." I force a smile.

"Do you have your phone?" I pull it from my back pocket and wave it in front of her. "Fully charged as well."

"Okay, have fun!"

I close the door and take a deep breath. There's nothing to be nervous about, we're just two friends hanging out and reading lines. I wander to the not-so-secret gate and flick the latch open. Gravel crunches under my shoes as I follow the pathway down to the granny flat.

I knock on the door and a few seconds later, Blake opens the door with a screaming London in his arms. He changes the position he's holding her, but it doesn't soothe her.

"She's been screaming like this for twenty minutes. I've changed her nappy, tried her on a dummy and a bottle but nothing will stop her from crying."

"How about a bath? I think it's supposed to remind them of the womb? Or you could try swaddling her?"

"London doesn't like to be swaddled, so I'll try her in the bath."

"Do you want some help?" I offer.

"Are you sure that's okay?"

"Of course." I nod.

We go upstairs and Blake passes London to me. I cuddle her to my chest and gently rock her, which somewhat soothes London. Blake frantically runs the bath and searches for a clean washcloth and towel.

Once there's a bit of water in the bathtub, I place London on the changing mat and undress her. I throw the nappy in the bin and her pink outfit into the washing basket beside the bathroom door.

"Is the bath ready?"

"Yeah, it should be okay now."

Blake steps aside and I kneel beside the bath and slowly lower her into the warm water. Her eyes go wide, then her cries turn into whimpers. London seems to enjoy floating in the water.

"Wow." Blake rakes his fingers through his hair. "I'm a terrible parent."

"Hey, don't say that."

"I have no idea what I'm doing. How did they let us leave the hospital with a baby?" He frowns.

"Honestly, nobody knows what they're doing when they first come home from the hospital." I chuckle. "I don't think it gets any easier, but everyone just has to help each other."

"I appreciate the help, Ava."

"You're welcome." I smile.

Blake sits on the side of the bathtub and peers down at London. She squirms in the bath but seems very content hanging out. I use the washcloth and some soap to gently wash her.

When she rubs her eyes, I glance at Blake and he nods without me having to ask. He grabs the pink towel and holds it open. London's wrapped up and placed on the changing mat to be dried off. She protests but it's nothing like before.

"Can you grab an outfit from the dresser? Her clothes are in the top drawer."

"Okay." I nod.

I grab the first bodysuit in the drawer which is another pink floral pattern. I pass it to Blake and he carefully dresses her in it. He cradles her to his chest and kisses her forehead.

How can he doubt his parenting when he looks at her like she's his entire world?

"Bedtime baby," he happily coos.

Blake places her into the cot and tucks a blanket around her. He puts his hand on her chest and subtly rocks her. I creep downstairs and wait for Blake to finish putting London to sleep.

It doesn't take long until we're sitting across from each other on the lounge room floor with our scripts. Blake smooths out the wrinkles while mine has coloured tabs lining the pages with notes.

"Are you ready?" He smiles.

"Hm, as ready as I'll ever be." I shrug.

It's now that the nerves are kicking back in. I've never acted in front of Blake, so I hope he doesn't think I'm terrible at this. I don't want to muddle up my words.

"Do you want to read the princess/prince lines first? Then we can do the servant's lines after?"

"Sure! Do you have a second role to learn?"

"Yeah, I asked for the Prince's servant in case the prince is too much. I think my understudy is hoping I fail." Blake laughs.

"Sounds about right." I chuckle.

As much as I'd like the princess role, Megan earned it. Although, if she magically couldn't do it, I wouldn't be upset by the news either.

"Where should we start?" he asks.

"Wherever is fine." I shrug.

"I haven't read the entire script," he admits. "So we'll start from." He randomly flips to a page and points to the number on the corner of the page.

I open to the page number and sharply inhale when I notice what's on there. The story between the two characters is loving someone they could never be with. I've got plenty of experience for this role.

"Any tips for beginners?" I chuckle.

"Well, if I haven't experienced the emotion, I try to substitute that feeling for something else I've experienced which may be similar."

"What similar experience are you drawing from for this part?" I raise an eyebrow.

"I can relate to the character's emotion. But don't worry too much, just read the lines and get a feel for the words."

"Okay, I think I can do this."

"I believe in you." He smiles.

I look at the page and take another calming breath before beginning.

"Why now, why here?" I ask.

"Because your brain will poison the true emotions your heart is trying to send out," he explains.

"You know that my heart is already yours if you take it. Marriage isn't a dictation of the soul, it's a law binding two individuals, not their souls for eternity. Fate has sprung and weaved its webs long before. My hand may be promised, but my heart is already claimed."

Reading these words to Blake makes me blush both internally and externally. I fan myself with the script but it does little to defuse the red target pinned to my face.

"Law is the binding motion that affects us now. We could live with the fascination that fate has weaved us a better eternity, but until then, I live in the reality that feeds us. You're claimed and I'm damned, we'd never be together in this life."

"I . . ." I lose my place on the script because those words hit me like a bullet.

Blake is on a collision course, it's only a matter of time until he unknowingly breaks my heart.

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