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Dedication: Charcoal_Face_Paint for the cover! Thank you!

Recap:

"Let's do some warm up laps. Four laps of each stroke. Don't push yourself yet, just warm yourselves up, okay? Let's go."

As I dove into the pool, I switched off all thoughts of the weekend. This week, it was about me and my swimming.

That's what mattered to me the most, after all.

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Placing a hand on my stomach, I gently rub it, as if that will help soothe the anxiety I am feeling.

I text Harvey and ask how he is. No reply. After swim practice, I proceed to search for him, with no luck. I ring his phone, twice. No answer.

This makes me feel sick. Is he falling for what his mum is saying? Does he not want to be friends anymore?

Placing my chin in the palm of my hand, I sigh heavily as History starts. I swivel my eyes to the empty spot beside me.

Where is Harvey?

Why is he ignoring me?

Biting my lip, I look around. My eyes land on Hayden across the room, a sour expression on his face. Mia is next to him, taking notes. He is looking down at his book, scribbling. I desperately want to talk to him about the weekend, but Mia is constantly by his side. She is doing it on purpose which is infuriating me more than it should.

The feeling of being alone is eating at me. My best friend is ignoring me. Hayden won't look at me. I cut ties with Ashton. My own mother has chosen to work and stay with her boyfriend... lover... whatever he is, over me.

I have never felt so alone.

The rest of the period drags by and I spend most of the lesson glaring at the wall above Mr Preston's head. At lunch, I can't take it any longer. I have to talk to Hayden.

Sprawled out beneath the shade of a tree with a hand draped over his forehead, is Hayden. Thankfully, Mia seemed to have herself preoccupied for the time being. As I approach him, I notice his jacket and tie are thrown to the side, his shirt unbuttoned at the top with his sleeves rolled up, revealing his tan, unblemished skin.

I sit heavily down beside him and stretch my legs out in front of me.

"What part of alone doesn't make sense to you, Mia?" he grumbles and I smirk.

"The part where I don't give a shit." 

Pausing, he peers over his arm and looks at me.

"Oh. It's you."

"Yeah," I say, leaning back onto my hands. "We need to talk."

"We don't."

"We do," I press, frowning at him. "I get that whatever is going on with your family is none of my business, okay? Can we just go back to being friends?"

"Friends?" he echoes. "We're not friends."

I open my mouth to retort but no words come out. I let out a breath as I realise that actually hurt. I was used to Hayden's snarky comments and insults, but that hurt me a lot more than I expected it to.

Noticing my silence, he peers up at me again. "Sorry, that was kind of harsh."

"Whatever," I say with a shrug, attempting to cover up my lack of comeback and attempt to seem nonchalant. "Can we just go back to how we were?"

Exhaling through his nose, he shakes his head. "No, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because you'll always want to know. You'll always be curious and I'm not telling you."

"About your father?"

"Don't." He warns, glaring up at me. "Don't say another word about him."

"Okay. Touchy subject. I get it."

"No. You really don't."

"Well, that's your fault, not mine," I point out. "But I don't care, okay?"

"I do."

"Why are you being so difficult?" I groan, throwing my hands up. "I just want to be friends. It's not like I'm asking that much of you!"

"Grace," he sighs, reeling into sitting position. "I'm going to be real here. We won't just be 'friends' and you know it."

I blink at him, totally shocked that he is discussing this so openly. "But-"

"I can't, okay? I'm not ready to do this again."

"Do what?" I ask, exasperated. "I just want to be your friend but you're being a real douche about it."

"But we won't just be friends, Grace," he snaps. "You know it and I know it."

"I'm not in love with you, so get your head out of your ass for five seconds and listen to what I'm trying to say!"

He sighs again, looking just as frustrated as me. "You don't get it right now but you will. It's better off if we just... cool things, okay?"

I stare down at my lap, my mind rushing a mile a minute.

He is right. Of course, he is. I know in the back of my mind that I am beginning to have feelings for him. I know we wouldn't just be friends. I didn't think of him as a friend. I didn't realise it, until he said it.

I had turned to Hayden, at one of my most vulnerable points and he threw me out. Again, swallowing my pride, I approach him and the same thing has happened.

Harvey is ignoring me. My mother is lying to me. Hayden doesn't even want to be friends.

"Well, fuck," I comment dryly. "I have no friends."

"You have friends," he says, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, where are they now?" I ask him, pushing myself to standing position.

"Grace," he starts but I ignore him.

He made it perfectly clear what we were. We are nothing.

I stride away from him, my eyes burning with the sensation of tears. I refuse to let any shed.

"Trouble in paradise?" Mia asks sweetly as I walk by her.

"Fuck off," I snarl, not bothering to spare her a glance.

I stalk towards the gym, through the locker room and out to the back, where Ashton's office is. He is sitting behind his desk, writing down something on his notepad.

"Grace," he says, looking up, surprise evident not only in his eyes but his voice. "What are you doing back here?"

"What are you doing tonight?" I ask him, ignoring his question.

I immediately squash any thoughts and doubts that invade my mind as I stare into Ashton's deep, brown eyes.

"Er-"

"Come over to my house. Any time after school."

"Okay..." he says slowly. He looks tired, having dark circles under his eyes. "Are you all right?"

"I'll see you tonight," I say with a smile which I hope is a little flirtatious even though my insides are curling. I hurry out of his room.

I know I shouldn't have done that. It is wrong. I was acting on hurt and impulse.

But at this point, I honestly don't care.

***

As I sit on the lounge, completely bored out of my mind, I think about my decision inviting Ashton over.

It was stupid and I regret it. I'm lonely; it's honestly that simple. I knew he would come if I asked him too. It was all too easy.

That's what makes Hayden so intriguing, a nagging voice in mind my mind mutters.

Opening the Facebook app on my phone, I look up Hayden Cameron. My finger hovers over his profile picture. I let out a sigh, noting that we aren't friends on there. What he said was right.

Clicking onto his profile picture, I gaze at him. It is a photo of him with a huge smile on his face, leaning onto his father's ute. His hair is pushed back from the wind and his golden tan shining golden underneath the sun. I had a feeling he would be photogenic. I was right.

I click onto messenger. I bite my lip softly.

I really am pathetic. He told me we weren't friends and to back off. So what do I do? I stalk his Facebook and want to message him.

Sitting there for a few moments, I contemplate my next move. I was just typing 'hey' when there is a loud knock on my door. I jump and press the send on accident, resulting in me sending the letter 'H'. I curse under my breath and throw my phone onto the lounge, before padding over to the door.

Swinging it open, I come face to face with Ashton.

"Hello Grace," he greets smoothly.

"Ashton," I reply coolly, stepping back.

He walks inside and once he has his back to me, I let my eyes dip over him. He is wearing tight shorts and a polo shirt. His hair looked like it had been gelled back, but it could also still be wet from the shower.

"I brought Chinese," he declares.

"Great," I say awkwardly.

When I had invited him over, I had not been thinking clearly. I was panicking. Harvey was ignoring me. My mother is a liar and Hayden, who I honestly think I have feelings for, told me to back off and to stop hanging out with him. Leisel hasn't hung out with me since the beach day. She is always by Mia's side, which has made me question whether she had true intentions from the beginning or not.

Right now, I have one option.

Ashton.

"Earth to Grace?" Ashton says to me, waving his hand in front of my face. "You in there or am I having dinner alone tonight?"

Blinking back to reality, I let out a dry laugh. "Sorry. Thinking about some stuff."

"Want to talk about it?"

"God no," I say a little too quickly. I clear my throat. "Er- Thanks for coming. I know things have been... Weird."

"I must say, I was more than surprised at the invitation," he admits, as he opens the containers, not looking much better than he did earlier today. His stubble had turned into more of a beard and his eyes have an odd, red ring around them as if he has allergies that have flared up.

Biting my lip, I move forward and grabbed our cups and plates.

"No more surprised than me," I mutter.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."

"What's been going on?" he asks as he shovels food onto his plate. "You seem very all over the place at practise. One day you're bright and happy, the next you're distant, the next you seem upset... It's been hard not to ask you what is wrong."

I feel my face soften as I toy with the food on my plate. "Everything was going fine and then... Things just turned to shit."

I didn't have any other way to explain it.

He let out a laugh. "I have forgotten your colourful language."

He is acting like we were once best friends, or more than that. He is acting like he had bothered to get to know me.

Silence falls between us and I begin to eat, avoiding eye contact with him. Things have definitely gotten tense between us. It just isn't the same as before.

At the start, he drew me in because of his looks, his charm and the fact that he was someone I shouldn't be with. But now, I was beginning to realise that was just some stupid fantasy of mine. I wanted to be the girl in the movie, or the book, that has this awesome dream come true. An epic love story that make people swoon.

But really, he just wanted to get in my pants and nothing more.

"It's nice to spend time with you," he says softly, a small smile on his face. "I've missed you."

"Have you?" I say far more harshly than I intended to. "What do you miss, huh?" I can't stop. The hurt and anger I have been feeling today has built up and begun to snowball out of control. I fist my hand at my side and poke my fork in his direction with the other. "You miss me? What, miss hooking up with me? Trying to fuck me?" The words that are leaving my mouth shock me, but I can't stop. I have no control. "You didn't bother to get to know me. You wanted nothing like that so please, please tell me what you miss about me. I am fascinated."

His mouth was hanging open as he stares at me. He places his cutlery down and gapes at me.

"Wow, Grace..." he trails off, looking beyond uncomfortable. "You have this all wrong... I didn't... Wow," he shook his head. "I like you Grace, okay? But we both know we couldn't date."

I let out a deep breath and stared down at my plate. "I've had a really bad day."

"I can tell," he comments, his tone a little flat. "I must ask, why did you invite me here tonight when you clearly don't want me here?"

I'm pathetic and didn't want to be alone.

"I don't know," I mutter, rubbing my face. "I thought you could help but you've just made me feel worse."

"Gee, thanks," he says sarcastically, looking irritated.

"I'm sorry. This was a mistake."

"It doesn't have to be a mistake," he press, leaning over the table. He tugs at my hand. "We have something here."

"Do we?" I mumble, my hand feeling lifeless in his.

Jeeze, I was being a moody bitch today. I am honestly sulking because Hayden said we weren't friends? I'm acting like a child.

He moves around the table and presses his hands to my shoulders. My eyes fly open.

"Ashton, what are you doing?" I ask, not liking the way his fingers are moving against my skin.

"I thought I could take your mind off the bad day you're having," he says to me in low voice. He leans down, pressing his lips to my ear.

An involuntary shiver runs down the back of my spine.

"You want me, just as bad as I want you," he whispers.

A few months ago, those words would have made me feel weak and do anything he wants. Now? Nothing even close.

"Hayden, please," I say holding up my hand.

"What?"

"I-"

"Did you just call me Hayden?" he questions, quickly standing.

I rise to my full height and scramble for something to say. Heat rushes to my face. Did I?

"Oh," he says, letting out a humourless laugh. "That's it, isn't it? It's Hayden. You want him now."

I let out a sigh. "No."

Yes.

"Oh my God," he says slowly, his eyes looking directly into mine. "You're lying."

"Well, so what if I do?" I snap, planting my hands on my hips. "You had the chance and you blew it."

"Hayden?" he repeats with a slight groan. "This isn't happening again."

"If you had just-" I begin before pausing. "Wait, what?"

"I'm going," he snaps, shaking his head. "Enjoy my food."

"Wait," I say, rushing after him. I could care less about the fact that he was leaving. I just wanted to know what he meant. "What did you mean?"

"Nothing," he growls back just as harshly as I had. "Goodnight, Grace."

As he stalks out of my house, he slammed the front door behind him.

My head was reeling. Tonight only confirmed my feelings for Hayden and brought up a massive question. What the hell did Ashton mean by "this isn't happening again?" Surely, he isn't referring to another girl...

Carrie.

No. She couldn't have had a fling with Ashton, too, right?

As my mind is spinning with question after question, my phone dings. Wandering over to the lounge slowly, I sit peering at the screen.

Hayden: If you wanted to talk to me, try words, not letters.

I roll my eyes as I read the message, letting out a small laugh, welcoming him to distract me from my thoughts.

How did I know he would say something like that?

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What do you think of her argument with Ashton? Do you think practise is going to be awkward now?

And what do you think about Carrie possibly having a fling with Ashton, too?

Instagram: laurenj_22

Snapchat: laurenj_22

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