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Maybe a smile isn't a smile, maybe it's just a facial expression with not much of a meaning behind it. I suppose the it ensures the people around you that you are doing okay. The strange thing is that sometimes you do it so that people think you're doing okay, when you certainly are not.

At this point I'm contemplating jumping out the window and freezing to death. This house is crowded, loud and hot. I don't know how much longer I am going to be able to take this. I lived with five brothers not so long ago and I have no idea why this is such a problem for me.

My mother has the heat on, plus the oven has been on all day, making it even more hotter. It's not only me either. I can everyone else is starting to get pissed off with eachothertoo and this is only the first day. Although everyone keeps friendly towards eachother, which brings me back to the meaningless smile. We'll smile at eachother as we talk to eachother when really all we want you is to get out. Like my mother mentioned before, us Andersons' have firery tempers and sometimes it gets so bad that fights break out. All in good time.

As I look over at my brother who is also sitting on the couch with his wife, I feel like I am going to strangle him he doesn't stop shaking the couch. Every single time he shakes his leg, the couch vibrates and I will lose it.

I huff and stand up. I walk into the kitchen and sit down at the kitchen table, next to my father. Well, in here the window is in open, so my parents and James must be pretty comfortable.

"Do you know that it is like eight five degrees in there?" I ask. Well maybe not that, but it certainly feels like it.

My father looks up from his book, "Well, then open a window in there."

"OH! I did not think of that! Thank you so much, dad!" I return, sarcasm pouring out of my mouth.

He raises an eyebrow at him, "Don't give me that additude, Vena. What is wrong with the window?"

"They're frozen shut."

He sighs, "Well, then open the door and wave some cold air in."

I sigh and lay my head down on the table. James looks back at me from what he is doing and gives me a small smile, not showing his teeth.

As James stands there, helping my mom prepare food, I watch him. It makes me so happy that he found something in common with my boyfriend. I really am not joking about the cooking show, it'll be 'James and His Girlfriend's Mom Cooking'. I can see it.

"Sweetheart, can you please grab the lettuce out of the fridge?" my mom asks.

I drag myself out of my chair and off the table and grab the lettuce and hand it to her. "Thank You."

I smile and nod. I stare at James for a moment and he looks at me, but I am no longer smiling. He sees my raw expression

He puts his hand on my back and kisses the side of my head. When I look over at my dad, he is smirking down at the pages in his book and my mother and is smiling at us.

"You guys are so cute," my mom smiles.

James smiles, "Okay, I'm going to show you how to garnish this thing."

~

~

"Jeana, shut up. You are annoying everyone here. Just shut it," my uncle finally says something to stop my aunt to continuing babbling about some thing that happened at work. Honeslty, I tuned her out a long time ago.

I waved some cold air into the living room and I could feel that after that people weren't boiling with angry anymore. I can't imagine how Alissa is feeling. The fact of being pregnant must be annoying enough, but add on heat and people and the world must feel like it's going up in flames.

"You can't tell me what to do, this is the twenty first century." I love her and all, but I am going to kill her.

I wish I could just sleep and be done with it, but apparently that is "rude". I just want to go home. I want to cuddle up in my bed and be alone and watch Netflix. Why does this have to be so difficult?

At least my mom and James seem to be enjoying the day. I mean, my mom got a free cooking lesson from my mom.

"DINNER!" my mom yells from the kitchen, "Get in line, we are going to try and do this a civlized manner."

I stand up and grab a plate off the stand. My mom dished out the food pretty fast and it came to be my turn. The ham looked like one of those ones that you see in the grocery store flyer. I can't beleive that they made this.

"It's looks good," I tell my mom.

"Oh, don't tell me that, James did most of the work," she chuckles and looks back at James.

I smile, "You both did a good job," I tell them.

James smiles at me.

Maybe once all these angry voulchers eat, they'll be calmed. I took my plate to the dining room table and sit down. A second or so later, James sits down beside me with his plate in his hand.

As soon as my mom sits down at the table, everyone starts eating. "Thank you, Mom," I say.

I started a chain reation and she said thank you multiple time to almost very family member.

I started eating and my God, is this ham the best thing ever. I look up and see everyone also enjoying the ham and I hope this God damn ham can calm the stress in this house.

I am halfway done eating my meal when I suddenly feel James's hand on my thigh. I look at him, but he just continues to eat. I shurg and continue eating, myself.

It only took another moment or two how him to move his move up my thigh. I reach under the table and move his hand back onto his lap.

I don't have a clue why he so badly wants to touch my thigh. I look at him and his time he looks at me and pats my thigh.

I smile at him and continue to eat my meal. By the time everyone is done, nobody has the energy to fight with eachother.

I helped my mom clean up after dinner as James went upstairs for a bit to get away from all these people. I don't blame him.

"He's a good guy, Vena," my mom breaks the silence between us.

I look at her, "I know," I smile.

She looks at me seriously, "I would usually let you figure this one out for yourself, but I think you need to hear this. Don't ever let this one go," she glances behind her. "I know that this is only the first year of college, but Vena, I have this feeling this one is different for you."

Now that puts a lot of pressure on James and my relationship. What if we do break up, then what? Will she be dissapointed? I don't know if I can deal with this.

I smile and nod.

"But I can also tell that he is the kind that messes up a lot, but he'll always try and fix it."

I raise an eyebrow at her, "How could you possible know this?"

She smiles, "He is so similar to your father."

Well, that's not creepy at all...

She must have a saw my facial expression because her face went to bewildered. "No, no, not like that Vena. James has some qualities like your father. Like he has a temper, so does your father. He concentrates in such a weird way, just like your father."

I will think that it is a bit odd that she is comparing my boyfriend to my father.

"Vena, all I am saying is that he is going to make you angry and he is going to make you want to kill him, but at the end of the day, you'll always come back to him."

I nod and set the towel down as we finish drying. I jog up the stairs and open my bedroom quietly, on the chance that he could be asleep. When I open it enough to be able to see in, he is laying there on his stomach, quietly snoring. Well, that's new. He hardly even snores when i'm sleeping with him.

I walk in and shut the door behind me. Seeing him sleep made me yawn. I walk over to the bed and get on with him and sit down beside him. I grab the book that he was reading beisde his head and look at the back of it.

As suprising as this might sound, James loves reading romance. Not like the eroticas, but like just plain out love stories, although I'm sure he loves the eroticas too. I've noticed throughout the last four or five months or so of living with James, he has quite to wide range of books he likes to read. My goodness, if you ever saw his bookshelves, you'd be amazed that one person's interest could have such vary.

The burb on the back of the book is in beautiful italics.

Oh, for I have known all along that she is something different. Oh, for your dear beautiful heart, give me the time and day. I wish nothing more then for you to be known as mine. Look me in the eyes with that beautiful face of yours and say okay.

Charmen is a sidekick. People don't think much when they hear his name. His name will not and has not been remembered. Most of his life he has wanted things he just couldn't have. Nobody knows what he goes through in a day. What kind of grief. What kind of lonelyness. What kind of hopelessness.

Through all this, he doesn't give up and doesn't intend on either. His entire life he has dremt of meeting the girl of his dreams. Thinking up all the senerios of what it would be life.

Caline is her name, but the only people who know that is her parents. She's new. She's quiet, but has a lot to say. You see her face once and remember it for life, but you will never remember her voice. She understands things an entirely different way too others. She is different. She is stunning. She is irreplaceable.

Charmen and Caline meet in some of the most awkward ways, but I suppose that that all evens out eventually.

I turn the book back over and look at the front of it. There is a boy looking out in the far distance, like his looking for something and then there is a girl standing behind him, her back faced to him while she holds a butterfly on her fingertips.

Based off what I jsut read, I'm pretty sure that this is good book. Man, does James know how to pick them.

I set the book on the night side table and cuddle up behind James. Well, this is different. I have never been the big spoon before. This very new for me. I pull my body against him and wrap my arm around him. He is much too heavy for me to put my other arm around him, so I guess that this one is just going to have to stay between us. Plus, I don't really think having a dead arm is very exciting.

The light is still on and I can feel myself start to fall alsleep. As the light blinds me momentarlily, I cuddle my face his James back. Soon enough, I felt myself dooze off.

___________

Hi guys here's an update. I write this beforehand but I didn't edit it, so this could be bad. I don't know my computer with me so I had to do this on my iPod and I was getting frustrated.

Now guys I still feel kind of unsure about the last chapter. I mean, I have never wrote that sort of scene before in a book like this and I could tell that some of you didn't really enjoy it. Anyways, I do t think that it really offsets the book because really, I have been leading up to this sort of scene. It's not like I am going to be writing these types scenes every single chapter just because of the fact that James and Vena's relationship is not revolved around only by sexual interaction.

There really is so much more than to popular belief.

Now I might be updating next week because this like three times in a week.

—BWS❄️

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