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Chapter 9

    I didn’t have the courage to meet Daniel’s eyes. “I’m not kidding.”

    Daniel fell silent once more. “How does that even work?”

    Taking another deep breath, I met his gaze. Daniel was staring at me with wide eyes, but at least he didn’t look like he thought I was a loon.

    “Yet,” hissed the voice in my head.

    “I don’t know!” I said throwing my arms into the air in sheer exasperation. “Jerry just showed up when I was a kid, and he never left.”

    Daniel chuckled lightly. “I’m not going to lie; that sounds a little crazy to me.” His words were like a bucket of ice water to my senses, sending chills through my body.

    I didn’t want Daniel to think I was crazy; I wanted him to keep liking me.

    “You think I’m crazy?” My heart felt like someone ripped it out of my chest and crushed it in the palm of his hands.

    “No. No.” Daniel reached for my hand as reassurance to his words, but I recoiled from his touch. “I don’t think you’re crazy. It’s just that I wasn’t expecting you to say that. It just took me by surprise. That’s all.”

    I sighed and lifted my head. I was chewing my bottom lip so much that I could taste blood. “I didn’t want to scare you away,” I mumbled truthfully.

    Daniel smiled, and for the first time, I noticed that his smile was slightly lopsided; the lift side of his lips pulled higher than the right. “I think it’s going to take a little bit more than an imaginary friend to scare me off.” He stopped smiling and furrowed his brow. “You don’t see him anymore though? Right?”

    I nodded a silent no, even thought I did see Jerry once, but that didn’t count to me; he wasn’t there.

    Then again, when was he actually ever there?

    “That’s good,” Daniel said with his smile returning. “I didn’t want to have to compete with anyone for your attention.”

    I scoffed loudly. “Well, you don’t have to worry about that.” I never got attention from men, but then again, I didn’t really know any other men.

    “So,” Daniel began, obviously changing the subject, “are you going to tell me what that was with you and your father?”

    Frowning, my eyes fell back to the floor. I didn’t feel comfortable talking about the relationship between my Dad and me. Shrugging, I mumbled, “It’s nothing.”

    Getting the hint, Daniel stood up. The action caused me to lift my eyes. I really liked talking to him; I didn’t want him to go. “I really need to get to work. Your father will have my ass if I don’t get what he need completed on time.” He gave me an apologetic smile. “Have you thought about spending time with me tomorrow? Daniel ran a hand through his hair nervously; it seemed that he and I shared that habit.

    I smiled a little too eagerly. Though the thought of going out with Daniel scared the living hell out of me, I couldn’t help but be excited. Jerry and I never left the house; I’d never been on a real date before. “I would like to, if you haven’t changed your mind.” I mumbled that last part.

    Daniel shook his head. “Great! I’ll swing by to pick you up around eight? Is that late enough?”

    My nerves kicked into high gear. I was really going to go out with Daniel; I couldn’t get that thought to properly process in my brain. “That sounds perfect.”

    He ran a hand through his dark hair once more. “I’ll call you? Do you have a cell?”

    I felt my face flush. “I don’t…”

    “Oh, well, I guess I’ll just be here on time. If something comes up, I’ll call your father’s office line.”

    Nodding, I gave him a shy smile.

    “Ok! I’ll see you tomorrow night.” He shot me his lopsided grin before turning around and walking out of my room.

    Falling on my back, I sighed happily. I was really looking forward to spending time with Daniel; it felt nice. I would have never thought that I would want to know anyone other than Jerry.

    For my entire life, Jerry remained my everything; he was my soul mate. Now, he was gone, and for the first time since I could remember, things were looking up. There was a chance that everything would be ok.

    There was also a chance that I could mess everything up.

    An idea popped into my head. Grinning ear-to-ear, I opened my sketchbook and began working on the drawing of Daniel and me.

    The rest of the day proceeded at glacial speed. Daniel spent most of the day in father’s office, and when it was time for him to head home, he stopped by to double check that I still wanted to go out with him tomorrow. Of course, I told him I wanted to; I wasn’t going to pass up on this opportunity. I liked him, and he seemed to like me. I mean, come on, he didn’t run off when I told him about Jerry.

    Around ten o’clock, I headed downstairs to fetch a quick late night snack. In the kitchen, I dropped off the plate Daniel brought me and plucked another grapefruit from its bowl.

    Padding barefoot through the house, I halted to a stop when I walked into our large living room. The TV was flashing some late night infomercial silently through the pitch-black house, but the light it provided was more than enough for me to see my mother slumped over on the edge of the couch.

    Sighing, I tiptoed over to her. She was cradling a bottle of Jack in her arms like a baby. She was breathing softly, and even though I knew she would wake up with a killer headache, my mother looked peaceful now. I never stopped to wonder why she drank. It was probably because her marriage was in ruins. Of all the things my mother was, she wasn’t a fool. Just because she liked to pretend the world was a pastel fairytale, she knew how truly messed up everything was.

    If I suspected my father of cheating on her, I knew she had to think that. I didn’t doubt it for one minute that my Dad had affairs. Hell, right now, he probably had one of his ditsy assistants bent over his desk.

    I shivered, shaking my head in order to thrust that image from my brain. Picturing my father doing that wasn’t high on my priorities.

    Frowning, I walked back upstairs to my parents’ room. In front of their king-sized bed was a large wooden trunk. Pushing it open, I grabbed an old quilt before padding back downstairs. My mother was still sleeping as I pulled the quilt around her body. Carefully, I pulled the bottle from her grasp.

    The motion stirred her from her sleep, and she opened her eyes and stared blankly at me. “Tyler?” Her voice was rough, gravelly.

    Shifting my weight to one leg, I stared down at her. “Yes, Mom. It’s me.”

    She closed her eyes and smiled. “You’re such a good boy, Tyler.”

    I rolled my eyes at her words.

    “You just have to try harder,” she slurred. “I love you so much, but you’re getting ridiculous.” Oh great, I was getting advice from my drunk mother. “Everything is so messed up, Baby,” she reached out with a hand and grabbed mine weakly. Suddenly, she opened her teary eyes. Despite her drunken state, they looked serious. “You have to be better than us.”

    Her words stung my heart.

    I choked back tears and gripped my mother’s hand tightly. I couldn’t remember the last time I held her hand. “I know, Mom.” My voice was thick with emotion. “I’m going to try harder from here on out.”

    My words seemed to satisfy her. With a deep sigh, she closed her eyes and let her hand drop from mine.

    She was asleep before I knew it.

    With the back of my hand, I wiped away the threat of tears and blew out a breath. My family was just as fucked up as I was, but this was my chance to change all of that. I at least owed it to myself to try. Sure, things could go horribly wrong, and I could end up completely alone in the world, but at least I would be able to say that I tried.

    That had to be better than never trying at all.

    Right?

    My appetite dissolved as I walked away from my mother. Blowing out a frustrated breath, I placed the fruit back in its bowl and headed to my room.

    Sleep didn’t come easy due to the mixture of nerves and my mother. Her words seemed to hover in my mind. “You have to be better than us.” They were haunting, chilling, and made my heart ache.

    I had to be better than them.

    Sure, I thought my mother was falling off the crazy ledge, but at least she managed to function decently in the world. The time she didn’t spend at home, she volunteered at a local help shelter, boxing meals for the needy and all that. Even though she didn’t spend much time with my father anymore, I could clearly see that she still loved him. Hell, she would probably jump in front of a bullet for him.

    Honestly, I didn’t know how my father was anymore. He was never home, but whatever he was doing couldn’t be worse than living inside a bubble as I was. My father, no matter how messed up he was or wasn‘t, managed to stay healthy and run his own law firm.

    It was clear that I was the most messed up out of them.

    Sighing in the darkness of my room, I rolled over onto my side. What would it take to be better than them? Would I have to suck it up, get a job, and move out? Was it even possible to pull myself together this late in the game? I mean, come on, I was twenty, going on twenty-one.

    Frustrated at the direction my thoughts turned, I blew out a breath and rolled onto my back. Just as I all but gave up on sleep, I slowly dozed off.

    “You have to be better than us.”

    When I cracked my eyes open, I yawned loudly, stretching out in my bed like a feline. Despite my wandering mind, I actually felt well rested. I glanced over at my alarm clock and realized I slept in until nearly two P.M.

    Cursing under my breath, I shot out of bed, stripped out of my clothes and darted into the bathroom. I expected more time than six hours to prepare mentally for leaving the house.

    I took one of the shortest showers in human history. With a towel around my waist, I rummaged through my closet for a decent outfit. I wanted to look good, but not like I tried too hard. Looking good wasn’t one of my strong points.

    Deciding that it would be chilly outside, I picked out a black, long-sleeved v-neck shirt. Because the neckline was rather low swooping, I paired it with a light blue undershirt. Shifting my attention to jeans, I went through every single pair without finding anything I wanted to wear.

    Annoyed, I plopped down at the edge of my bed and sighed. “Calm down, Tyler,” I whispered to myself. “It is all going to be peachy.” Running my hands through my sopping hair, I pushed myself to my feet once more. Determination ran through my veins as I went through my pile of jeans once more; I refused to give up.

    Finally, I settled on a light pair of jeans. They would be a little loose on me, but they were faded and holey around the knees, so they wouldn’t look absolutely horrible on my gangly body. Satisfied, I finished drying off before changing into my clothes.

    Standing in front of my bathroom mirror, I looked myself over. I felt out of place in regular clothes; I spent most of my time in sweaters and sweatpants, but I couldn’t deny that the reflection staring at me actually looked presentable.

    Jerry would have been proud.

    I smiled at myself slightly. It was a completely alien feeling to think I actually looked ok. My face looked different too. I hadn’t shaved in a few days, so my chin was dotted with dark stubble; I never really could grow a beard, not that I was complaining.

    Facial hair on me made me look like a half-starved gay pirate.

    My eyes looked the most different. Instead of looking so plain, flat, they actually seemed to hold a shine, a glint of true happiness. I blinked at my reflection. I truly felt happy at the possibility of working my life out; it was making me come alive.

    Ruffling my damp hair, I applied a small amount of mousse and worked it through the tendrils of my hair using the tips of my fingers. I used to do this to my hair while still in school. The mousse really helped define the natural curl in my hair without making it feel all crunchy and gross.

    I was surprised the mousse even worked; I had the same bottle for the past two years. An opportunity to use it never really arose. When I was with Jerry, there wasn’t a point in trying to look decent. He never judged me, and I never left the house.

    Giving myself one last look over, I smiled once more before turning around and heading downstairs for a late breakfast.

    For once, my mother remained absent from her kitchen. I can’t say that I was very upset. Dealing with her when I first woke up was usually more of a headache than I wanted. I chose a grapefruit and poured myself a tall glass of orange juice.

    The house was silent, eerily so. Finishing my food and tossing the peels in the garbage, I walked back upstairs and plopped on the edge of my bed. I pulled out my sketchpad and spent the rest of the day adding the final details to the drawing of Daniel and me.

    Before I knew it, it was nearly time for Daniel to arrive. Closing the sketchbook, I walked to my closet, knelt down, and retrieved an old canvas messenger bag. I stashed away the book and stepped into my favorite pair of red converse.

    As I left my room and started downstairs, I noticed that the house was still perfectly silent. Not giving it too much thought, I pulled open the front door. Instantly, the chilled air filled my senses, filling my nose with the crisp scent of fallen leaves and drying grasses. The porch light cast a warm glow through the night.

    I stole a deep breath and sat on the edge of the porch. With each second that passed, I felt my nerves picking up. By the time a sporty black car parked in our driveway, my hands were shaking, my stomach felt uneasy, and my palms were sweating. Daniel stepped out of his car, and strode over to me; he looked wonderful.

    Instead of the bleak blacks and beiges he wore when he worked, he was wearing a red, plaid button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Underneath his plaid shirt, he was wearing a solid white t-shirt, and the jeans he wore were dark and hugged against his skin tightly. Daniel’s dark hair was brushed back messily, revealing his forehead and giving me a perfect view of his emerald eyes.

    “You look great, Tyler,” Daniel said brightly. He ran his eyes up me once more, making me blush. “Wow.”

    I stood up awkwardly and smiled shyly. “So do you.”

    Daniel locked his eyes to mine and gave me his lopsided grin. “Are you ready?”

    Was I ready?

    Taking a deep breath, I smiled as brightly as I could and answered truthfully. “Yes.”

    Daniel opened the passenger door for me, shutting it once I seated myself. I buckled my seatbelt as Daniel sat in the driver’s seat. His car came to life in a loud roar. Believe me when I say that I knew absolutely nothing about cars, but Daniel’s sporty ride tickled my male senses and made me wish I knew more about them.

    “So, where are we going?” I asked quietly.

    Daniel gave me a wicked grin laced with confidence; it made my knees weak. Suddenly, I was glad we were in a car and not walking; I would have collapsed on my ass. “It’s a secret,” he began, pulling out of my driveway. “I had to wrack my brain to find something for us to do. All I hope is that you like cheese.”

    I raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Cheese? Do you mean, like, eating cheese?”

    Daniel laughed and glanced at me briefly before turning his eyes back to the road. “No, I mean what I have planned is so cheesy that I can feel it seeping out of my ears.”

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Is everyone happy that Daniel didn't lose his mind over Jerry? I know I am! Chapter 10 is by far my favorite chapter I have written in this story, so keep an eye out for it! I'm hoping to have it finished and up in the next few hours(:

As always, please tell me what you thought about this chapter, and if you would like to, you can vote for it(: If you're new here, don't be shy about fanning me if you like what you're reading.

*edit*

I just noticed that this story has nearly 300 reads and almost 50 votes. That's insane. Thank you, everyone! <3

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