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Chapter 12

    “I don’t want to stop,”  I breathed the boldest words I had ever spoken. Daniel‘s body stiffened as if he were deciding what to do. He hovering his lips over mine. I wanted him; I needed something to make me feel. Leaning up, I closed the distance between our lips once more. He tasted fantastic. My hands explored, resting on his lips as I stood on the tips of my toes, deepening the kiss.

    It was over far too quickly. Daniel nearly panted as he pulled away. “Not like this, Tyler.” His voice sounded strained as if he were having to force himself to speak. Having this effect on Daniel sent power flushing through my system.

    “Why not?” I went to lean forward to kiss him once more, but Daniel lifted a hand and rested his fingers against my chest. His touch sent a shiver down my spine.

    “Tyler, I don’t want to be used either.” He blew out a breath. “Honestly, I wouldn’t mind it so much, but I want this to happen under better circumstances.” He cleared his throat. “You’re going through so much; I don’t want to ruin it by jumping the gun.”

    I shook my head at his words. Was I using him? “Daniel, I need to feel something.” I felt so numb, hollow. Tears were welling in my eyes. I was suddenly happy it was dark; Daniel spent too much time seeing me cry.

    Daniel wrapped his arms around me protectively. “It’s going to be ok,” he said sternly.

    How could anything be ok? Just as I actually wanted things to work out, something like this had to happen. It was completely unfair. “I don’t think it will,” I said roughly. My throat seemed to close as more tears fell. Before I knew it, sobs took over once more. I threw my arms around Daniel and cried into his warm chest.

    He held onto me as he spoke. “It’s going to be really fucked for awhile,” Daniel’s words sounded brutally honest, “but I promise that everything will get better.” A hand brushed through my hair. “Let’s get you back into bed. You really need to rest.”

    That was the truth. I couldn’t tell how long I actually slept for; at the most, two hours passed before I woke up alone. I was exhausted.

    I held onto Daniel tighter. “Please, don’t leave me,” I nearly begged. I’m absolutely positive that I sounded utterly pathetic, but I didn’t care.

    I didn’t want to be alone.

    Daniel leaned down, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. “I don’t plan on it.”

    His words sent a calming wave through my limbs; I relaxed almost instantly, allowing Daniel to wrap an arm around my shoulder as he led me back into his bedroom. I crawled into bed, and Daniel did the same.

    At first, I stayed on my back afraid to touch Daniel, but he quickly wrapped an arm around me, pulling my body against him. Settling into a comfortable nook beside him, I rested my head on his chest as his hands gently stroked my hair. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest plus his fingers in my hair equaled a very content Tyler. I sighed peacefully as I slipped into slumber.

    I awoke too chilly. Groaning, a small headache pulsed at my temples as I rolled over and outstretched my arm. My hands met only sheets; I was alone. Immediately, panic webbed through my senses, causing me to lurch forward.

    I was alone.

    The bedroom was brightly lit with morning light. The walls were mostly bare save for a few shelves that held an array of things. The sheets and comforter were solid white; there was something sterile about the whole bedroom. Faintly, it reminded me of an unorganized hospital room.

    Forcing myself to take deep breaths to calm my erratic heartbeat, I closed my eyes and raked a hand through the messy tangles that were my hair. “Daniel wouldn’t up and leave me,” I whispered reassuringly to myself.

    “Unless you scared him away,” chuckled the voice in my head cruelly. It had been awhile since he reared his ugly head.

    Biting my lip, I shook my head to force the thoughts from my mind. I knew Daniel wouldn’t leave me like everyone else seemed to. Throwing my legs over the edge of the bed, I stood and walked to the bedroom door. I could hear a muffled voice from the other side of the door.

    Relief spiraled through my body. It was Daniel’s voice.

    I opened the door and walked down a short hallway that led to a larger room that then split into a kitchen and a living room area. Daniel was sitting shirtless on the couch speaking into his phone facing away from him. “Do you know why?” He asked calmly as he ran a hand through his ruffled dark locks. Taking another step towards him, the floor creaked which caused Daniel to snap around. A mix of surprise and sadness washed over his lovely eyes. “I have to go, Sir.” Daniel offered a small lopsided smile as he waited on the phone. “Yes, Sir. I’ll be in tomorrow eight sharp.”

    Sir? My father was on the other end of Daniel's phone call. Red hate gurgled through my limbs, causing me to clench my fists. I still couldn’t get my father’s unemotional face from my memory. How could he treat me the way he did?

    Daniel stood, shoving his phone into his sweatpants’ pocket. My hate seemed to evaporate as my eyes fell over his long body. Daniel’s body was rather distracting. His muscles were defines but not overly so. Somehow, he reminded me of a swimmer. My eyes traveled down to his toned abs.

    I had to ask myself once again how in the world I ended up with him. He was drop-dead gorgeous.

    Daniel said something that I didn’t quite catch because I was staring so attractively. My mouth probably hung open like an idiot.

    Blinking a few times, I felt the tips of my ears begin to burn. “Um, what?” I asked with a nervous laugh.

    “I said that you might want to sit down.” Daniel sounded serious.

    Pulling my eyes back to his face, I found his green eyes on me. “Oh,” was all I could manage as an unsettling feeling settled at the pit of my stomach. I made my way over to the couch and sat down. Daniel sat on the other end and faced me.

    “It’s about your mom.”

    I instantly cringed at his words.

    He ran a hand through his hair once more. “I called your father this morning to see if I had work, and I asked him about her because you deserve to know what happened to your mother.” He took a deep breath. Maybe he was trying to rip the Band-Aid off in one swipe? “Your father told me that she,” he stopped to bite his bottom lip. “She…”

    My palms were sweating at the pain that seeped into his voice. Whatever he had to say was horrible.

    “I shouldn’t be the one telling you,” he said finally as he pushed himself to his feet. “He’s your father! This is his goddamn responsibility.”

    I closed my eyes and pulled my knees to my chest. At this moment in my life, I couldn’t stand to see Daniel angry. Even if it wasn’t aimed at me, seeing him in obvious pain and anger twisted my gut into knots. For my own selfish reasons, I needed Daniel to be stable. Tears seeped from my closed eyes.

    Daniel sat back down and pulled my hand into his own. When he spoke, his words were softer, calmer. “This is hard for me, Tyler.” The grip on my hand tightened. “I don’t want to be the one bringing you bad news; I’m supposed to be the one that makes you feel better.”

    I cracked my eyes open, meeting his emerald gaze. Tears were dripping down his cheeks, getting lost in his dark stubble. I leaned forward in another blaze of boldness and touched my lips to his. “I’m not going to want to hear it no matter whose lips it comes from,” I said as I pulled away. I offered him my best smile, which was quite a weak attempt.

    With a nod, he took another deep breath and ripped the remainder of the bandage off. “She killed herself.”

    I blinked a few times as my mouth hung openly. “What? Why?” My heart dropped into my stomach like a bowling ball. Closing my eyes, I focused on the heat from Daniel’s hand in order to keep myself from falling to pieces. He was like my anchor.

    Despite being firmly planted, more tears flowed from my eyes. Honestly, I was beyond sick of crying.

    “I don’t know,” Daniel said sadly. “Your father told me he found her in the bathroom,” he began to go father into detail, but I opened my eyes, lifted a hand, and placed it onto his mouth, silencing him instantly.

    I didn’t want to know the dirty details. My imagination was already running wild. I pictured my mother in the bathtub, drinking a glass of jack with a razorblade in hand. Tears were dripping from her sad eyes.   

    I stood up suddenly. Everything felt wrong. My mother shouldn’t have killed herself. I knew she was unhappy, yet I did nothing but tell her how much she didn’t love me. My father had to know she was hurting, but what did he do?

    Nothing.

    He was probably fucking some woman as my mother sat in the bathroom, giving up on life.

    Bile threatened to rise, as I stumbled forward and fell to my knees. This was too much. Knowing my mother died tore my heart into shreds, but knowing that she took her own life was more than I could handle.

    It should have been me.

    “No it should not have!” Daniel yelled, nearly tackling me where I knelt. His arms were around me so tightly that my face was crushed against his chest.

    I wasn’t even aware I said that thought aloud, but it rang through me like a chime. It really should have been me. My life was the most messed up. It was my fault that my mother’s life was so terrible. If I would have never been born, she and my father would have had a perfect life without me around.

    I ruined everything.

    Daniel’s lips were against mine roughly and suddenly, pulling me away from my thoughts. They were feverish against my own. I found myself returning the heat, digging my hands into his thick hair. He pulled away too quickly with tears in his eyes. “Do you feel that?” He nearly yelled as he lifted my face, forcing me to meet his eyes. “That means I don’t want you ever to think anything like that because I want you here.” He kissed me again, but this time it was gentle. “This,” he began hovering over my lips, “is a promise.”

    I bit my lip nervously as my mind raced. My lip was incredibly sore from chewing on it like a rabid rabbit.

    “I promise to be here for you, Tyler. I know I’m not the best, but I’ll always do my best for you. I never expected any of this to happen, but it did. You’re here, and I’m here. I want you.”

    Dumbfounded, I felt a warmth bloom in my chest. There were so many things I wanted to say; there were so many thoughts banging around in my brain. I said the first coherent words that formed on my lips. “I love you, Daniel.”

    Daniel blinked as surprise flittered over his face, but he smiled his lopsided grin. The action made me smile. “I love you too, Tyler.”

    That was all it took. One date with a man who spent five years in my life, and I fell in love. Was that even possible? The feeling resonated so perfectly with me. I loved Daniel; I loved a man that I really didn’t even know.

    Gently pulling away from Daniel’s touch, I wiped the remainder of my tears away with the back of my hand and smiled brightly. A thought popped into my mind. “It might help if I knew your last name,” I mocked playfully.

    A blush ignited over his face. He thought a moment, extended his hand, and shone one of his lopsided grins. I took his hand without hesitation. “Daniel Christian Saunders.”

    “Tyler Lee Greer.” I said as we shook hands.

    “It’s nice to meet you.”

    “Same to you.”

    Daniel’s lips were on mind once more, flooding my body with a gentle warmth that made me feel that maybe, just maybe, everything could be peachy.

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As always, I appreciate it when you all take the time to tell me what you think of each chapter and also vote if you liked it!

I'm sorry this chapter is a little short, but I decided that since there has been so much going on, I wanted to get a little resolution before starting the next chapter. So basically, chapter 12 is just to explain a few things before actually jumping back into the story. Does that make sense?

What do you think about Daniel and Tyler? Wuh ooooooooh.

Swoooooooooon

Next chapter should be up in a few days! I love all of you so much for taking the time to read my story, and I send extra love to the ones who vote and comment (:

*edit* holy crap! 700 reads? 75 votes?

I am dead. Thank you all so much!

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