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Chapter 14

    For once, I woke before Daniel. To be honest, I don’t think I ever fell asleep. Knowing that my mother would be buried today sent my thoughts into overdrive. After hours of tossing and turning, the sun finally poked through the blinds, spreading its orange rays though the darkness and signaling to me that I lost my fight with sleep.

    I rolled onto my side and watched Daniel as he slept. He looked so calm with his lips slightly parted. With each passing breath, his chest rose and fell slightly. Daring to reach out, I slid my thumb down his cheek. Daniel smiled lightly at my touch.

    I couldn’t help but think how in the world it was possible to love a single person so much.

    Sighing, I slowly crawled out of Daniel’s bed so I didn’t wake him. The room was a little chilly which made me thankful that Daniel’s clothes were so large on me. The t-shirt I wore came down to just above my knees and acted almost like a thin sweater. I tip-toed out of the bedroom, down the hall, and stepped into the kitchen.

    My head seemed to spin as I flipped the light on. It was way too early.

    “Coffee,” my subconscious nearly shouted.

    I grabbed a mug from one of Daniel’s cabinets and filled it with water from the tap. Sliding the cup into the microwave, I set it for two minutes then pulled the instant coffee powder from its place on the counter. On the rare occasion that I actually wanted coffee, I usually longed for real coffee with a dash of French-vanilla creamer.

    Today, I settled with instant and a splash of milk.

    I plopped down on the couch, wrapping my fingers around the mug and enjoying the warmth that traveled through my fingers and up my arms; however, it did little for the cold stone that settled at the base of my stomach. I dreaded this day, but at the same time, I nearly welcomed it. With my mother buried, I would be able to say my final goodbye to her and move on with my life.

    My heart ached when I realized that she would never get to see me happy. She only saw me at my worst, locked away in my own mind. She would never get to hear me tell her that I fell in love with someone.

     I wasn’t the type to believe in an afterlife, but I believed that people never truly died. Sure, their heart stops beating, and they’re placed into the ground. Though they were deceased, they lived on though the hearts that belonged to the people they touched while still living.

    Mom would always have a place in mine. I just hoped that when I died, there would be someone to hold me in his heart.

    I sighed at my thoughts as I sipped my coffee. It didn’t take long for Daniel to come walking in. He yawned widely then offered me a kind smile as he ran a hand through his messy morning hair.

    Smiling back, I allowed my eyes to run up his body. Daniel slept shirtless no matter the weather, and I had to send a thank you prayer to whatever deity did or didn’t exist because Daniel was one hell-of-a sight.

    “Good morning,” he chimed, breaking my thoughts.

    I lifted my eyes to meet his and spoke. “Morning.”

    Daniel dropped onto the couch beside me, resting his head on my lap. “You’re up really early.” His deep voice was laced with grogginess which gave it a wonderfully rough sound.

    I shrugged down at him. “Yeah, I couldn’t really sleep.”

    Daniel yawned loudly. “That’s understandable.” There was a slight pause before he spoke again. “You should have woken me.”

    I laughed and sat my mug onto the small coffee table in front of the couch. “You looked too cute to wake up.”

    He shot me a childish grin which made his eyes sparkle. “I do try.”

    I rolled my eyes at him as I leaned down to place a kiss on his cheek. “How in the world do you try to be cute while sleeping?”

    Pursing his lips, Daniel pretended to think deeply. “Well, all you have to do is think cute thoughts.”

    The laugh that came from my lips was so sudden and loud. I was very happy I sat my coffee down. If I had it in my hands, I was sure that it would have gone flying through the air. “So you fall asleep while thinking cute thoughts just so you will look cute while sleeping?” I managed after my laughter faded.

    Daniel shrugged as a smile bloomed on his lips. “It’s not all that difficult really.” His grin grew. “All I have to do is fall asleep while thinking about you.”

    I grinned and blushed at the same dang time. “Stop that,” I said playfully.

    He shook his head and pushed himself upright, sitting on the couch correctly. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, he pulled me into his chest as he kissed the top of my head. “I would rather if I didn’t.”

    Closing my eyes, I welcomed the warmth of his body against mine. For the time being, Daniel’s presence crushed through the icy boulder in my stomach. “Me too.”

    After some time, Daniel stood up and stretched. “Well, I’m going to go ahead and take a shower.” He reached into his sweatpants’ pocket, pulling out his cell phone. I had to wonder if he actually slept with that thing glued to his body. “We still have a few hours before we need to leave.”

    The funeral was at eleven, which gave us a good four hours. I nodded at him. As he started to walk away, I spoke. “Are you absolutely positive that you want to go with me?” This was Daniel’s last chance to change his mind. There was a possibility that my father would lose his mind over me and Daniel being together, and if that happened, Daniel could lose his job.

    Daniel turned around and frowned as he extended his hand to me. Without hesitation, I took it, allowing him to pull me to my feet. “Will you stop worrying about me? I‘m very capable of taking care of myself.”

    I stepped into him, wrapping my arms around his back and hugging him once more. “I can’t help it, Daniel. I have so much going on in my head, and I don’t want my messed up life to mess up yours.”

    Daniel kissed the top of my head. “Take a deep breath, Tyler. I’ve made up my mind, and you aren’t going to change it.”

    I smiled against his chest. “Ok.” There was no point in pushing any father; I wanted more than anything for Daniel to be there for me. This was something I knew I couldn’t do alone. As Daniel gave me a confident smile and strode off into the bathroom, I drew a deep breath in order to steady my thoughts.

    With a smile, I dashed into Daniel’s kitchen and did my best to put together a nice breakfast; unfortunately, Daniel liked to eat out of cans and boxes. He did have eggs though, and I did a quick check to make sure they weren’t expired.

    Working quickly, I found a few raw potatoes, peeled them, diced them, and tossed them into a frying pan with a little dash of olive oil. I cracked the eggs into a glass cup and beat them with a fork. Sadly, Daniel didn’t have any bread in his apartment, so toast was out of the question.

    As the eggs cooked and the potatoes fried, I made two more glasses of coffee. I knew from the days that I stayed here that Daniel liked his coffee black with a dash of sugar. It didn’t take long for the eggs to peak at their scrambled perfection, but the potatoes were slightly bland. Though, considering what I had to work with, I felt like I did a decent job. I dashed in a little salt and pepper and somehow managed to set out two plates of food before Daniel finished his shower.

    When he poked his sopping head around the corner curiously, I grinned back at him. He returned my smile and walked into the kitchen with only a towel around his waist. Beads of water still made their decent down his chest as he kissed my lips sweetly. “I think I could really get used to this,” he said tasting his eggs.

    I rolled my eyes, trying my best to keep my eyes from wondering up and down his beautiful body. “Well, don’t get too used to it. I’m going to have to go home at some point.”

    Daniel sighed and sounded slightly sad. “I’ve gotten used to having you around.”

    We ate together and carried on the conversation. “I’ve gotten used to being here”, I said truthfully. “I think I’m getting used to you too.” My words were playful, but it was true. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with Daniel; I enjoyed being around him.

    “It only took you five years to actually have a conversation with me,” Daniel teased lightly.

    We spent the remainder of breakfast talking lightly; though, it became increasingly difficult to keep my thoughts pure. Daniel’s nearly nude body beside me was quite the distraction. Once we were finished, I helped Daniel clean up before taking a quick shower.

    The rest of the morning felt like a blink of an eye. Before I knew it, we were both fully dressed and walking toward Daniel’s car. I felt awkward in skinny jeans and a tie, but Daniel reassured me a thousand times over that I looked ok. Actually, Daniel felt that I looked “hot” in these clothes.

    Daniel wore a solid white, button-up shirt paired with a black tie. As usual, he wore his khaki pants. Daniel still looked good though; he held himself so professionally that I had to concentrate to keep my shoulders squared instead of slouching like usual.

    Once safely bucked into his car, the frigid bowling ball settled into its place at the base of my stomach. I folded my hands in my lap, fiddling with my thumbs. When the car started, an uncontrollable sigh escaped from my tightly pressed lips.

    Without saying a word, Daniel’s hand settled on top of mine reassuringly which caused me to life my gaze and meet the stunning green of his eyes. Daniel offered me a kind smile. “Are you ready?”

    Those three words made my stomach clench, and my nerves picked up their rapid pace. My heart clawed its way into my throat, but I forced myself to focus on the heat radiating from Daniel’s palm. Was I ready? The answer came instantly.

    No.

    I didn’t want to do this; I wanted to run back upstairs, throw myself into Daniel’s bed, and sleep this terrible day away; however, I knew that I had to do this. If I didn’t go to my mother’s funeral, it would haunt me for the rest of my life.

    “No,” I said weakly, “but I have to be there.”

    Squeezing my hand, Daniel spoke gently. “You’re a lot stronger than you let on, Tyler.”

    Though Daniel spoke, Jerry’s voice rang in my mind. “You’re stronger than you think you are.”

    I smiled weakly. “I think I’m starting to realize that.”

    The drive was quiet. It almost felt like Daniel was afraid to speak and disturb my thoughts. I couldn’t complain though; I didn’t really feel like talking. I sat facing the window and watched as we sped through the world. With each minute that passed, my nerves intensified. By the time we pulled into the cemetery, I had to clasp my hands together to keep them from shaking.

    Daniel parked his car among the sea of other cars and opened his door. He walked around to my side and opened my door, offering me a smile. I took his hand and stepped into the late morning air. Walking became difficult, but Daniel wrapped an arm around my shoulders, keeping me firmly at his side.

    As we neared the ring of people that congregated around my mother’s plot, I took notice on how many people were actually there. As expected, both sides of the family were there, but there were also hoards of other people I never even knew my mother knew. I couldn’t help but be surprised at the actual number of people that showed up.

    I guess my mother touched the hearts of more people than I cold have ever imagined.

    Like vultures on their prey, my immediate family swooped in, nearly making a circle around me and Daniel. I never thought too fondly of my family; they made it evident on the few family outings I attended that they did not like me. They thought of me as the family crazy and didn’t want their children anywhere near me.

    My mother’s sister Hilary spoke first. She was my mother’s only sister, and they resembled greatly. She kept her black hair short and overly curled. “I’m so sorry, Tyler,” she cooed.

    I felt Daniel’s grip on my hand tighten as I spoke. “Thank you, Aunt Hilary.” I did my best to keep my voice even as every eye at the funeral seemed to turn on me. “How are you holding up?”

    What in the hell was I supposed to ask at a funeral? I didn’t think that I would actually have to talk to anyone.

    She frowned as something crossed over her eyes as she glanced between Daniel and me. Tears flooded her dark eyes. “This is why she did it,” she basically screamed through the air, silencing the crowd of people.

    Drama ran in the family.

    I cringed and felt my pulse quicken as my face reddened. Daring to glance around, I saw that my entire family had the same crazed look in their eyes. They all blamed me; they thought that the crazy son held responsibility for his mother killing herself. She just couldn’t bare living in a world with a son so messed up.

    My knees threatened to buckle from under me and Daniel pulled me away from the birds of prey, nearly shoving past my eldest cousin, Casey. Of course, he cursed and muttered something highly unintelligent under his breath pertaining to my sexual orientation.

    As we moved, more eyes followed me, and I felt whatever grip I held on my emotions begin to slip. Daniel stopped suddenly, nearly causing me to fall to the grass below. Thankfully, he held me firmly as I lifted my eyes only to meet the stern gaze that belonged to my father.

    He wore a dark suit and had his own human circle spanning around him, but as he turned his eyes to Daniel, something flashed behind his depths. Saying nothing to me, he extending a hand to Daniel. “Thank you for coming, Daniel.”

    Daniel shook his hand. “It was the least I could do, Sir. I’m very sorry for your loss.”

    Tension thickened the air, making it feel like I had to gasp for air, but I did my best to breathe normally and keep myself calm; however, my heart was pounding so violently that I felt like I would pass out at any moment.

    When my father’s gaze returned to me, I had to look down at the ground. “I’m glad you could make it,” he said flatly. His words hinted that he would have rather me stayed away.

    Swallowing hard, I lifted my eyes. “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” I tried to keep strength in my voice, but it fleeted with each word, making my voice crack as I finished.

    His eyes darted between the two of us once more. “Daniel, I would like you to meet my brother, Richard.”

    As if on cue, a tall man with a shaved head and a beer belly stepped forward extending his hand first to Daniel then to me. Uncle Richard and I never really spoke, but from what I could gather from my father, Richard was the outcast of the family on his side. “It’s nice to meet you Daniel, and it’s very nice to see you, Tyler. I wish it were on better circumstances.” He paused to smile down at me. His voice was deeper than I thought it would be, but it sounded sincere.

    I nodded at him, but remained silent.

    “This is my assistant, Richard.” My father said to his brother. “He has been keeping Tyler company in these trying times.”

    I felt my face drain instantly, but I felt thankful that Richard was too dense to pick up what my father hinted at. “Oh, how in the world do you manage to work for my brother? From what I hear, he’s a Nazi when it comes to work.” His tone was jokingly.

    Daniel smiled, keeping his voice calm and level, much like he did when talking to my father on the phone. “We all have to pay the bills,” Daniel said feigning a joke, but there was an underlying dryness in his tone aimed at my father.

    Richard walked off to talk to more family members, while my father kept his eyes on Daniel. “When did this happen?” He asked a little too loudly. His booming, overbearing voice attracted the attention of even more people.

    I felt like falling to the ground and digging a hole to just die in, but somehow I managed to remain standing. I think it was partly because my feet rooted to the ground in sheer fear. My father terrified the living hell out of me.

    “I don’t feel comfortable discussing my personal life with you, Mr. Greer,” Daniel said firmly. “I am your employee and your son’s boyfriend. If that is a problem for you, please inform me because I don’t feel like I have done anything wrong.” The strength in his voice beat the authority that riddled my father’s voice.

    My father blinked at Daniel but said nothing. That was a first, and I nearly smiled at the dumbfounded look that grew on his face. My father grew too used to people bending to his ever will; he didn’t know how to react to someone who stood against him.

    Daniel spoke once more, not waiting for my father to say anything. “This isn’t a day about us, Sir. If you don’t mind, Tyler and I would like to find a seat.”

    Anger made the veins in my father’s neck bulge, but he remained like a statue. “Of course.”

    Daniel breezed past my father, pulling me along with him. When we finally found seats, he blew out a long breath. His hand was sweating against mine, and he clearly looked shaken.

    I didn’t blame him. I could feel sweat beading on my brow, and my hands were shaking so much that I felt like I was having a seizure. Neither of us spoke for the longest time, but I finally worked up the courage to speak. “That was really impressive,” I whispered.

    Daniel laughed dryly and gave me his best smile. This time, it was unconvincing. “I’m glad you think so. That was worse than I though it would be.”

    I wanted to rest my head against his shoulder, but I refrained. The last thing I wanted right now was even more attention from my family. “I’m sorry you had to do that,” I croaked as tears welled behind my eyes. Daniel was clearly upset, and it was all my fault.

    “Whoa, Tyler.” Daniel wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me against his chest. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. It’s not your fault that your father is a,” he paused as if he were trying to find the right words, “dick.” He laughed lightly, causing me to lift my eyes. “For future reference,” he began with a smile that actually touched his eyes, “it probably isn’t that great of an idea to bring your boyfriend to a funeral when your family is completely oblivious to the fact that you’re gay.”

    I smiled at his joke, and it relieved a bit of tension throughout my body. Daniel was something special. He sat beside me, putting his job on the line for me. There was a very good chance that he would be fired, but he could still smile and make jokes.

    I admired him; I loved him.

    “I love you,” I breathed into him.

    “I love you too.”

    The funeral service was quick. It felt like I blinked my eyes and my mother’s body began its decent into the ground. The family already cleared out, but Daniel and I stayed in our seats and watched as the last shovel of dirt covered her final resting place. “Can I have a moment?” I said to Daniel.

    He nodded, kissed my cheek, and said, “I’ll meet you at the car.”

    Smiling weakly, I watched him as he left and walked forward. I stood beside the freshly disturbed ground and sighed. Glancing around to make sure I was alone, I spoke quietly. “Hey, Mom,” I began feeling a tad bit more than silly. “We never got a chance to speak, but I just wanted to tell you that I’m working towards being happy. I‘ve fallen in love, Mom. Daniel is so absolutely beyond amazing.” Taking a deep breath, I went on. “Thank you for encouraging me to speak to him.” I felt tears well behind my eyes, thickening my voice. “I’m sorry that you won’t be here to see me, but I just wanted you to know that things are finally working out.” Tears dripped down my cheeks. “I love you, Mom. There wasn’t a single moment in my life where I didn’t love you.”

    I knelt down to the ground, lowering myself to the same level as her headstone. “I should have told you more while you were living, but I love you so much. I know you loved me too.” I paused to wrack my mind for something else to say. This was my last chance; I had to say goodbye. “I hope you are able to find happiness wherever you are, Mom, and I am going to miss you.”

    Taking a deep breath, I stood, stared at the ground for a moment longer, wiped my tears away with the back of my hand then turned around, only to find myself staring up at my father’s hateful eyes.

    I blinked a few times and looked past him. Daniel was already making his way hurriedly toward me. Meeting my father’s eyes once more, I swallowed hard.

    “That was beautiful, Tyler.” His voice was cold and stung through my chest like a dagger.

    “Thank you,” I said dryly.

    He eyed me up and down and smiled cruelly. “Tyler, Tyler, Tyler, I don’t see much point in you coming home.” He paused, waiting for a reaction. When I remained silent, he went on. “I’m very happy that you’re working your life out though. I wish you the best of luck.” His smile grew almost crazily as his words began to sink in.

    I didn’t have a home.

    “Dad…” My heart seemed to stop beating.

    “You were your mother’s child, Tyler. I’ve wanted nothing to do with you for years now. She was the only reason I allowed you to live under my roof, but now that she is gone, I expect you to gather your things.”

    Daniel finally reached us, wrapping an arm automatically around my shoulders. “What’s going on?” He asked breathlessly, eyeing me up and down.

    My father spoke directly to Daniel. “You have my schedule. Choose one of the days where I’m working at the firm to take Tyler to my home so he can gather his things.”

    “Come on, Tyler,” Daniel said harshly as he pulled me away from my father.

    Suddenly, I yanked away from Daniel and ran back toward my father. Every fiber of my being glowed red-hot with anger. “I hate you!” I screamed, causing him to turn around. Surprise flickered over his face. “They all think that it’s my fault!” I ran at him, using every bit of strength I had to shove him. He stumbled before catching his balance. His fists were balled as I spoke once more. “We both know whose fault it is!” I didn’t want for him to speak. “It’s your fault my mother killed herself!”

    Tears were streaming down my eyes, but my thoughts were crystal clear. “I don’t ever want to see you again!” I spat my words like venom.

    My father stood with his mouth hanging open slightly; he looked totally and utterly shocked.

    “I’m glad you kicked me out!” I was in near hysterics. “I would hate to end up like my mother, trapped in your disgusting web! She loved you, and you let her go!” I fell to my knees. “It’s all your fault!”

    Daniel pulled me to my feet, basically yanking away from my father. I thrashed against him, yelling any and every obscenity that came to my mind at my father. Somehow, Daniel managed to buckle me into his car and shut the door without me clawing my way out.

    He drove quickly, too quickly, which made me, as I finally calmed down, think that he was angry with me. I remained quiet the whole ride to Daniel’s apartment, and he kept his eyes planted firmly on the road.

    I grew progressively more anxious as we neared his home. When we arrived, he basically slammed the breaks and threw the car into park before jumping out of his car, slamming the door shut behind him. Yanking my door open, he eyed me with burning eyes before unbuckling me from my seat and pulling me to my feet.

    Daniel was pissed at me, and I couldn’t bear to think about it.

    As I opened my mouth to apologize, Daniel crushed his lips to mine, kissing me with so much passion that my entire body ignited. One of his hands settled on my hip, while the other ventured up my back, settling at the back of my neck. He pulled me into an even deeper kiss.

    Hooking an arm around his back, I stood on the tips of my toes and kissed him with the same intensity, suddenly craving every inch of him with a growing need that took over my every sense. Our tongues danced and tasted, only intensifying my need to the point that my body ached.

    When our lips finally separated, we were both panting. Daniel lifted me with ease as he made his way up the stairs to his apartment. Before I knew it, we were locked away in his home. Daniel’s lips were on mine once more, pushing me against the wall roughly.

    I let out a moan as his hands traveled under my clothes, meeting my burning flesh. I wanted him right now; I needed him. “I need you,” I breathed against his lips.

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Wuh-ooooooooh.

What do you guys think is going to happen next? Isn't Tyler's dad an idiot? Geesh, I hate him.

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