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Chapter 2

    When I awoke, I found my arm outstretched, reaching for something that wasn’t there. Fear burst through my senses, ripping away the morning fog from my mind. I jarred forward, the bed sheet pooling around my naked waist.

    With panicking eyes that darted rapidly through my room, I felt my heart race, speeding into a thump that drummed loudly in my ears. A lump formed in my throat, and my stomach leapt off a twenty-story building crashing onto the frigid concrete below. The hairs on my arms pricked as a realization washed over me like an artic wave.

    I was alone.

    Opening my mouth to call out to Jerry, I found no words. Hell, I couldn’t breathe.

    “No,” I cried mentally. “No. No. No. No. Please no.”

    Closing my eyes, I finally released the iron breath my lungs clinched fiercely and attempted to rake in a breath to calm myself.

    It seemed that all the air in my room drained like water down a tub. My hands shook violently as I cupped my face and screamed so silently I could only hear it reverberating in my own mind.

    All the warmth drained from my body as I sat utterly alone.

    Alone.

    The word was like ice in my mind, an ice so cold that it burned, bringing tears to my eyes. Jerry was never gone; He was always beside me. I needed him.

    Just then, someone crashed into me, pulling me into their arms and holding me tightly. I could hear someone speaking, but my mind was too numb to register the words.

    “Tyler, fucking breathe!” Jerry’s voice was in a panic, frantic. He was shaking me. When I opened my eyes, I found him cradling me against his chest with tears dripping from his bright eyes.

    Seeking solace in the warmth that encased my body, I felt the ice pull away from my skin, and I gasped, finally pulling air into my lungs. Slowly, my breathing returned to normal, and I became aware of the tears that trailed down my cheeks.

    Rocking me tenderly, Jerry and I cried together for what felt like forever. I stayed in his arms silently as my tears dried and the crippling fear ebbed from my bones.

    “Baby,” Jerry whispered. Fear still clung to his voice. “What is wrong? I thought you were,” his voice trailed off as Emotion deepened his voice. “You weren’t breathing; you were just sitting there like a statue, a corpse.” He pulled me closer to his chest while rubbing my shoulders with his strong hands.

    I stole a deep steadying breath. “You weren’t here.” I swallowed hard as the threat of more tears clawed at the back of my eyes. “I thought you had left me. You’re the only one who has never left me, and you were gone.” My mouth was dry, so dry my tongue felt like sandpaper rubbing against the roof of my mouth. “No one else can stand to be around me; I can’t stand to be around anyone else.”

 Wrapping my arms around Jerry’s neck, I yanked myself as close to him as I possibly could and buried my face into his neck. “You’re the only one, Jerry.” My entire existence seemed to be intertwined with Jerry’s existence. Without him, I had nothing.

    “Shh,” he cooed, pulling me in front of him. With a hand, he lifted my face to his, forcing me to meet his icy gaze. “I’m never leaving you, Tyler. I’ve been with you for as long as I can remember, and I have loved you every moment of my existence.” Jerry’s words touched his eyes, causing them to shimmer like blue diamonds. He touched his lips to mine and with his thumb, he wiped away my tears. “You’re stronger than you think you are.”

    With my lips still touching his, I mumbled, “I love you too.”

    Jerry’s faith in me was something I could never understand though. I knew my strength came from him; he was like my bones. Without him, gravity would crush me.

    After I was finally calmed down, I followed Jerry into the bathroom to get ready to face the morning. As he and I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, brushing our teeth, I stared at our reflections. Jerry and I were the exact same height, but in ever other aspect, we contrasted against each other. His hair was short and a pale blonde, which only made his bright blue eyes stand out even more. My hair fell in unkempt black waves that stopped just below my ears. There was nothing special about my flat brown eyes; they never seemed to sparkle.

    Jerry’s reflection was suddenly smiling at me as he planted a toothpaste rimmed kiss sloppily on my cheek. I wrinkled my nose and smiled back at him, using the back of my hand to clean myself.

    He was muscular, but not overly so. His skin held a bronze with the same elegance as the elegance that rode on his broad shoulders. There wasn’t an ounce of muscle on my frail body, and my shoulders always seemed to slump awkwardly.

    Jerry’s facial features were strong, very chiseled, and his lips were full. In every way possible, he was absolutely beautiful like a perfectly sculpted angel. I, on the other hand, had very sharp angular features with thin lips. I was not what you would call beautiful.

    Homely seemed like a more fitting adjective.

    “What are you thinking about?” Jerry asked after he spit in the sink.

    I shook my head and smiled, planting my own sloppy kiss on his cheek. Jerry raised his eyebrow and shifted his weight to one foot obviously waiting for me to tell him the truth. After spitting and rinsing my mouth out with water, I turned around, resting the base of my back against the edge of the sink.

    “You have this uncanny ability to sense when I’m bullshitting you, huh?” I had to bit my bottom lip to stifle a smile.

    He laughed and placed his hands on my hips. “I can tell exactly what you’re thinking the very second you’re thinking it, Suguh.” A sly smile tugged at the corner of his perfect lips. “Would you like me to prove it?”

    Rolling my eyes, I lifted a hand, trailing a finger down his chest, resting it at the top of his boxers. “Sure. I’ll play you’re little game.” My own smile grew.

    He leaned down, locking his eyes to mine, bringing his lips just next to my ear. “Close your eyes and think of anything in the world.” His voice was a low growl in my head.

    I bit my lip and closed my eyes. I felt my skin flush as I tried to focus; instead, I found myself thinking about Jerry’s lips trailing down my chest. The thought quickened my pulse.

    “You’re far too easy to read, baby.” His words were fire against my cheek, yet the kiss he planted lightly in the middle of my chest was so cool, I inhaled sharply, catching my breath.

    His kisses continued down my chest and stopped just below my bellybutton. “Way too easy, Tyler. Next time, you’re gonna have to do better than that.”

    At this rate, I was never going to get ready to start the day, but hey, I wasn’t complaining.

    I climbed out of the shower and briskly dried my hair, wrapping the damp towel around my waist. Jerry was out right behind me. He was all smiles as he stood beside me in the mirror. “Well,” I began with a raised eyebrow, “this has to be one of the longest starts to a morning ever.”

    Laughing, Jerry pulled the towel from around his waist and began patting my hair the rest of the way dry. “Would you have it any other way?”

    Our eyes locked in the mirrors reflection. I shook my head.

    Continuing to dry my hair, he said, “Let’s at least get you presentable.”

    Despite Jerry’s attempts to force me into clothing he deemed ‘presentable’, which usually consisted of clothes that didn’t look like they spent the last month of their life crumbled up under my bed. Truthfully, I only felt comfortable in clothes that seemed to have no form whatsoever. I hated the way clothes clung to me.

    Today was no different. I chose a large white sweatshirt and grey sweatpants. Hell, I could wear sweaters every day of the year; I didn’t have anyone to impress. Jerry already loved me.

    Jerry was shaking his head as he sat on the corner of my bed, but he chose to say nothing about my outfit. Apparently, he was finally giving up on his up-hill battle with clothing.

    Taking a deep breath, I opened my bedroom door and began walking down the stairs. Jerry stayed a safe distance behind me.

    This was a charade he and I played many times before. It came to a point that it became a habit.

    As usual, my mother was sitting at the kitchen table, basking in the morning light as it cascaded around her body. She had a book in her hands and from the look of it, she was utterly absent from the world around her and dwelling happily in one of fiction.

    Once I stepped into the kitchen, her eyes snapped to me and her face was suddenly painted with a thousand-watt smile; it reminded me of the type a smile a dentist gives you right before he rips out a few of your teeth.

    “Good morning, Tyler,” she said. “You’re looking really well this morning.” Actual surprise seeped into her voice for a sheer second; however, it faded quickly and her trying-too-hard voice came out in full force.

    I guess having a decent morning with my imaginary boyfriend gave a little color to my cheeks or something.

    “Thanks, Mom,” I said dryly. I took a step toward the refrigerator to get a glass of orange juice, but my mother stood up nearly jumping in front of me.

    “I made you breakfast a few hours ago, it’s in the microwave. I could warm it up for you.” She gave me another mega smile.

    Taking a deep breath, I actually looked at my mother. She was a few inches shorter than I was and still quite beautiful. Her raven-black hair was dotted with a few grey hairs and her skin managed to stay relatively unwrinkled for a woman pushing fifty.     Despite time going easy on her, all one had to do was look into her hazel eyes and see the years of unhappiness sapping away the light that once shone in them.

    Dealing with a crazy son and a husband who spent more time with his assistant than his own wife was slowly killing her from the inside out. Her method of coping was overcompensating. It was actually to the point that even regular people had a hard time being around her.

    Part of me ached to tell her that little forest creatures were never going to come out of the woods and start cleaning the house with her, but I chose to side with the part of me who thought it was best to let her live blissfully in her pastel, fairytale world.

    She smoothed her pink, floral apron and kept her smile unhindered by my blank stare.

    “No thanks. I’m not very hungry this morning.” I said, glancing to Jerry as he stood alone in the entranceway between the kitchen and the foyer. My mother paid him no attention.

    “That’s because he’s not really there,” mocked the voice in my head.

    Mentally, I shot him the bird.

    “Oh, honey,” my mother began, “you’re going to blow away if you don’t eat something.” If I wouldn’t have known better, I would have almost believed that genuine concern lingered in her voice.

    Stepping around her, I opened the fridge and grabbed the orange juice. “Just wanted some juice,” I said shaking the container in the air. I managed to grab a glass from the cabinet before she went on.

    Making a quick retreat back upstairs, I walked past my father’s office just as his assistant walked through the doorway carrying a large bundle of papers and folders. We crashed into each other. Papers fell everywhere and my glass went rolling across the carpet toward the stairs, stopping just before the edge.

    “Shit!” Daniel cursed as he fell to the floor to gather the mess of papers. “I didn’t see you there, Tyler.”

    My face paled as I tried to gather as many papers as I could. Daniel was on his fifth year working for my father. From what I could tell, he was still under thirty. He had short dark hair that he always kept neat and tidy. Daniel stood a good six inches taller than I stand and always tried his best to make polite conversation with me whenever we would bump into each other.

    I can’t quite say that we ever crashed into each other before though.

    “It’s fine, Daniel,” I mumbled quietly, keeping my eyes down focusing on the task before me. I always found it difficult to speak to Daniel. It probably had something to do with the fact that he was gorgeous. It wasn’t the same type of gorgeous as Jerry, but more of a sophisticated beauty. In some ways, he reminded me of an actor that would have appeared in black and white films.

    In anther life, one where I could actually stand to be around people, it would have been easy picturing myself with him.

    “Don’t worry about all this, let me clean it up.” He laughed to himself. “Your father has me doing all his errands as of late, and I think it’s all catching up to me. I didn’t even see you coming.” His voice was deep but clear, cheery almost.

    Saying nothing, I finished gathering up the papers and stacked them neatly. “Here you go.” Kneeling, I lifted my head and found Daniel smiling. It was a nice smile, friendly. I let my eyes drift up, meeting his emerald eyes for a split second before dropping my gaze back to the floor.

    Daniel reached out, wrapping his hands around the papers, and his finger accidentally touched mine, causing me to pull away quickly. The papers fell back onto the carpet.

    My face flushed, and I scooped up the carton of orange juice and retrieved my glass without saying another word. I left Daniel kneeling in the hallway with papers pooling around his feet.

    The thought made me flush a darker shade of pink as I shut my bedroom door behind me. I found myself nearly panting with my back pressed against the door. “What in the hell is wrong with me,” I managed to choked out while closing my eyes at the threat of tears.

    “Trust me; you do not want to know.” The voice inside my head laughed at me.

    It seemed like everyone was always laughing at me, laughing at the fuck up, the crazy guy.

    When I finally found the strength to open my eyes again, I found Jerry glaring at me with dark eyes that burned with rage and fists that were clinched so tightly, the whites of his knuckles shone through his tanned skin.  My heart sank at the sight of him.

----

Daniel was actually inspired by my best friend, Valdez. She is absolutely in love with that whole old film star look, so I made Daniel specifically for her. In my mind, hes like Gatsby from The Great Gatsby, and Tyler is just as batshit as Daisy ;D

Thank you, readers! If you like this, please tell me in a comment. I don't bite. (unless you want me too) Also, fan me if you like what you read! I also wouldn't mind if you took the time to vote my story up. Thank you so much!

xoxo - Mason

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