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A/N:

Sooo we hit 1k view since I last posted and I couldn't be more excited!! :) Love you guys to the stars! Anyways, any bold text will represent Jay writing in his journal and any italicized text will represent a flashback of past events.

............

Normally, I wouldn't have minded the stillness of my room. The walls were freshly painted, and by freshly painted I mean every now and again I just took out a paintbrush and added a little something extra to the white walls that were now covered in all sorts of colors. I stared up at the wall that my head was now fully supporting itself upon, thinking of all the people whose hand prints were (and were not) staring back at me in bold colors. Everything seemed to be quiet today, except for my mind.

It's almost been a week since I last saw Ryan. After Derek convinced me to go and apologize, which, I will admit the only reason I did as he said is because the man could knock me out with one backhand and feel no remorse. I freaking love it. Or...in a friend kind of way...he's straight. Anyways, I was crossing the parking lot when Zack tried to run me over. That dumb ass rides a baby blue moped and he thought he was going to take me out. Like...? Derek and I came to the conclusion that he was high when he missed and soon started yelling at a tree. I assume there was much more than weed involved, however, I did not stick around to further investigate. I seriously think that-

There was a tap at my window. I glared at it from my position in the floor, the sunlight that was streaming in was already unwelcome, but the last thing that I needed was a damn bird pestering me. There was a second tap, this one lighter. Then a third, and a forth, all of which were almost evenly spaced out. That bird is going to die for making me get up. When I reeled up the blinds, however, there was nothing there. No bird? Well, maybe I'm just going-

I rubbed my eyes and looked back out the window. Ryan was standing there with a hand full of the gravel rocks from my driveway, and smiling up at my surprised face. There was a moment of panic that my family might see him outside and instantly start interrogating me. Just a moment. They were all out of the house today with other plans and I was simply sitting and sulking in the quiet loneliness.

I pulled the window open, cautiously poking my head out and staring down at that beautiful face. Most people would have spoken by now, hell everyone would have at least waved. I, on the other hand, simply stared at him, my expression probably an unknown mixture of confusion, grief, and awe. Ryan was here for ME. He was throwing pebbles at my window and standing in what I could only presume was mud, for me.

"Hey Blue Jay." He didn't yell it, his voice simply carrying itself up to my ears and sending a shiver down my spine, causing my breathing to hitch. I took a deep breath. This was the moment.

"Do you wanna come in?" Thank the lord for that being the question that came out of my mouth. The million other options were either wildly inappropriate or asking for conflict. He just nodded, his eyes never breaking contact with mine. I was going to melt if he didn't stop. I was going to physically melt into a puddle on my window sill and stain the rainbow that had been painted on it only a few weeks ago. I like my rainbow, I don't wanna stain my rainbow...what?

Halfway down the stairs I realized two things: First, I was not wearing pants. What? It was a Saturday and I was sitting in my floor moping, give me a break. Second, this was the first time we would be alone in my territory. I mean, sure we had gone out to a few places in town that I knew, but none of them were as private or as comfortable as my own home. I opened the front door, pausing for moment. Ryan had on that adoring smile, his eyes bright. My hand fell on the handle to the glass door that was now the only thing between the two of us. Am I ready for this? Is he ready for this? What are we even supposed to be ready for? The door was open. Well, there goes all my thinking time.

Ryan took a step forward, rising even taller above me as he stepped onto the small ledge and into the house, letting the glass door shut behind him. A hand brushed over my cheek, an arm encircling my back. Wow, he got real close real fast. Seriously, why do I feel like I'm moving in slow motion?

"Ryan, I-" something stopped me from speaking. Everything was dark and there was something warm in front of me. My eyes fluttered open and I realized I was being kissed and my hands were now on his face. Thank you body, for reacting like a normal fucking human being while my mind was off God knows where.

"Hey," he smiled, his forehead resting on mine. If he wasn't holding me, I would be falling out right now. Yep. There was this absolutely, 100%, room spinning, mind boggling kiss and he was smiling like he won the lottery while I was about to fall over like a drunk. Smooth. "You look a little lost." He teased. With that, I was back.

"Well, you're currently suffocating me ya jerk." I held him even tighter, resting my cheek on his firm shoulder. I took a deep breath, letting a long silence pass in that moment.

"Are you having one of your little moments?" His voice was soft while we stood in the entrance of my quiet house, simply holding each other.

"I was until you ruined it," I mumbled into his shirt with a small laugh. The embrace didn't last much longer before I towed him upstairs to my room. It was a complete mess that I hadn't even thought about cleaning before I answered the door. "I promise it isn't always like this." I sat down on my small twin bed, watching him look from wall to wall like he didn't want to miss a single sloppy detail. "Some of my friends helped me paint a couple weeks back and-"

"Are all of these yours?" Of course the jerk had to interrupt while I was speaking. I winced internally after calling him a jerk in my head. He's just interested in your room, stop being sarcastically hateful. "Do you always talk to yourself?" He teased, his back to me as he continued to observe the wall.

"Only to keep myself sane when I'm around you!" I lunged forward and yanked him back onto the tiny bed with me. It didn't exactly go as planned and soon enough I found myself staring up into those brown eyes, pinned down to a bed once again. There was this cocky smirk plastered across his mouth that I just wanted to-nope. Behave yourself. "See, this is why we can't cuddle at my house, fat ass." His eyebrows scrunched together so fast I couldn't help the laugh that followed. He was a walking wall of muscle and somehow my little comments still managed to piss him off.

"I could just sit on you all day," he challenged.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Well, I can't say I didn't see that one coming. Sure, I probably shouldn't have said it, seeming how we were alone and things could get a little out of hand a little too fast, but I couldn't help myself. His eyes sparkled with something I can only call lust for half a second before he rolled his eyes and climbed off me.

"Seriously though, what's up with the hand prints? It looks like a Kindergarten class threw up on you wall." His eyes were already again focused on the wall and not on me. Maybe if I just knocked it down he would look at me instead of-Seriously? I was getting jealous of a wall? This is sad.

"Well, the blue are mine, and all of the others belong to other people." I explained, leaning against his arm that instinctively went around me.

"Why are there only three other colors?" The amount of confusion on his face made my heart skip a beat before going into overdrive. It was one of the most adorable things I had ever seen.

"I'm not really an artist, I mean I draw and stuff for me, ya know? So my art is usually really personal to me and I don't want just anyone to be in that part of my life. It's like my safe-haven...I plan on adding a few others, but for now it's just them."

"They must be pretty important." He looked back up at the wall.

"They keep me going when no one else cares." I sighed. "Kind of like you."

"No, I've only caused you problems since we met." He was scowling down at the floor, muscles tense.

"I'm a teenager in high school," I laughed, "drama and problems are nothing new to me...but you haven't been the source of our...complications."

"Don't say it." He warded me off. How he knew I was about to blame Zack was beyond me, but he did. "He is not at fault for the decisions I made." I was almost pushed into psycho, jealous boyfriend mode, wondering how on earth he could be defending that boy. However, that's the kind of person Ryan was. He was compassionate and responsible and-

"I love you." I whispered. It was only the second time I had said that simple phrase, but everything felt so perfectly...perfect. Great, I was running out of descriptive words again. I got off the bed and dug through a bag that was sitting on my nightstand, pulling out a small bottle of red paint. "And I want you to know that you'll always have a place in my heart."

A/N:

So Jay and Ryan are finally back together and not ending on a cliff hanger! I love you guys, thanx for reading and for hitting 1k! If you liked this part maybe you wanna leave a comment? Or a vote? Or both? xx

-Tay

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