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(Kellin's POV)

"Just tell me,"

"Come on, you look...so out of it,"

"Talk to me."

Vic was apparently worried about me but I didn't know what to say to him. We were under the tree with our back pressed into the bark. I close my eyes and take a deep breath and then open them. I pull him onto my lap and rest my head on his shoulder. He relaxes against me and puts a hand on my shoulder.

We sit there for a little but I know he's still staring at me. "I just wanted to see you." I say quietly. He nods and wraps his arms around my waist. I sigh and run my fingers trough his hair. "Did something--"

"Stop, just don't worry, Vic. Stop worrying about me, okay? Stop. Stop." I say, growing tense against him. His cheeks get a little red and his eyes go down to his lap. I let out a breath and lift his chin so I can see his eyes, the mocha irises I'd grown to love.

"I didn't mean to...Sorry. I just don't want you to worry you know?"

"But it's only because I care." He says quietly. Great, now he was hesitant with me. I felt bad then, a burning feeling in my chest. "I know," I try to smile a little. There's a pause between us. "I love you." I say.

He smiles then and I knew we were okay again. We end up lying in the grass, our hands knotted together. "You know what I've realized?" He says. I turn my head to look at him and send him a small smile to let him know to continue. "Whenever we're together, like," he smiles to himself. "We're always touching. Like even if it's just our hands or legs when we sit next to each other."

I think a little and nod, noticing he was right. It was cute to me, the way we had to be touching somehow. "You're right. Good." I smile, turning on my side to get a better look at him. He blushes and averts his eyes momentarily, but then looks at me again. "It's too cold to be out here." He says.

I shrug. I lay closer to him and pull him into me so I can feel his body heat. Our arms are wrapped tightly around one another in attempts to stay warm and it was the best feeling ever. Of course though, it wouldn't last. Mike shuts the door and walks out, making me sigh.

"Vic, Dad wants to talk to you." He says, coming under the tree. Vic looks at me and I give him a warm smile, trying to convince him things would be okay. Of course, I was also convincing myself. Vic's dad had been strange lately, more agitated and snappy, an asshole really.

I pat his thigh. "Go ahead. I'll wait." He pecks my lips and then sighs, standing. Mike takes a seat next to me and leans against the bark. Once I hear the door shut, I turn to him. "Got a cigarette?" I ask. Mike nods and pulls two out from a pack, offering me one. I take it and he gives me a light, a much needed one. I'd been craving nicotine all fucking day.

There's a short silence before he talks. I take another drag and look at him, pulling my legs up and puffing out the smoke. "You're different, Bostwick."

I furrow my eyebrows, not understanding. "You are," he nods a little, raising a brow. "Smoking. Driving off at weird times with my brother. Your parents kind of hate you. What's going on?" Mike's words stung a little, especially the part about my parents, but there was nothing I could do; he was absolutely correct.

"Not really...different. Just more open about my feelings I guess."

"Is that a gay thing?" He says. I think he's serious at first, and I'm staring at him with an annoyed expression, but the way he slowly grins tells me he's just teasing. We both laugh and I shake my head, smoking again. Once I exhale, I reply. "It's more of a losing my mind thing." I say.

"So you think you're losing your mind, huh?" He asks, blowing out smoke as he spoke. I shrug, picking at the material of my ripped jeans. "I don't know. Seems like it, doesn't it?" I ask. Mike shakes his head. I wondered if he was just being nice, but then I also recall that this is Mike, the one who threatened to rid me the privilege of having a face, via his boot.

So I feel a little better, if that makes sense.

"I don't think so," he says. "I'm actually proud. You've always tried...hiding shit and sugar coating every single thing just to keep people happy. That's what Vic tells me at least. I see it now though. He was right." He nods, examining me like an experiment. I purse my lips. "He said that?"

"He said you lived like you were walking on glass. A complete pussy if you ask me, but that's just my opinion. You're too nice, Kellin. Tell your parents how they make you feel. Don't be a little bitch." I can't help but laugh hard at that, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"I'm not here for therapy." I hum. I finish my cigarette and stub it out in the grass. I look at it half because Mike is watching me and half because I've zoned out, due to not wanting to hear what he has to say anymore. "I'm not here to give it. Do you, Quinn. I'm going to go smoke, okay?"

"I want to get away from here, that's what I want," I blurt out. "That's what I need to say to them."

He looks down at me after he's stood, hands in his pockets. He nods slowly, pursing his lips. "If you do," he begins, looking at me with a more serious expression. "Don't look back."

With a final grin, he leaves me there to think.

_______

if they're are any mistakes, I am really sorry, I tried reading over it before I have to make dinner 😒

I missed you all.

Hope you liked it 👽

🎀XO🎀

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