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AN: *hides in closet because this took so long...*

~

Grace turned out to be the ultimate shoulder to cry on. She hung on his every word, and hugged him every time she saw him, and asked him questions about feelings that he hadn't even thought to put into words. All while Alex watched on in interest.

In the end, Lucas felt shockingly clear on everything that had happened. Somehow, even though he didn't really know what, or if, anything was to come between them in the future, he felt oddly good about it. After all, he had put himself out there and William had managed to do the same and he didn't think anything had been left unsaid between them. At the very least, he knew where they stood.

He thought about William all the time, but he managed to sleep normally and go to school normally and participate in life instead of moping which is what he had initially wanted to do.

A week passed and Lucas was shocked at how quickly things went back to normal.

Just like every morning before, he found himself sitting with his friends on top of the hill, chatting before classes started, with one marked change.

"So there's this cute guy in my swim club," Alex said. "You want me to hook it up?"

He winked at Lucas suggestively.

"No thank you," Lucas shuddered. "I don't want to know what you think is cute."

"Alex," Grace reprimanded. "Lucas needs time to heal the wounds of the death of his first love."

Lucas cringed but Alex went on as though she hadn't said anything.

"He is cute!" he insisted. "He's like--tall and stuff."

Grace sighed.

"Does he at least have a nice body?"

Alex shrugged.

"I don't know. But I'm seventy percent sure he checked out my package in the change room. Definitely gay."

"Why don't you date him then?" Lucas suggested.

Alex shrugged.

"Not really my type," he said.

His eyes flew over Lucas' shoulder and suddenly, he grimaced.

Before Lucas could turn and follow his gaze, a shadow fell over him.

Lucas looked up into Blake's shocking blue eyes and his whole body stiffened.

"Lucas," Blake said. "Good to see you."

"I have to go," Lucas said, quickly grabbing his things. He jumped to his feet and his head smacked into Blake's chin with a crack.

Both of them gasped and stumbled apart, staring at each other in shock. Then Blake's eyes narrowed in annoyance and Lucas remembered who he was dealing with.

"See ya!" he shouted over his shoulder and took off down the hill.

As he neared the school, Lucas let out a sigh of relief and touched the top of his head gingerly.

He had been avoiding Blake since the party and didn't plan on changing that anytime soon. Or ever.

Paranoid that he was being followed, Lucas turned to glance back and promptly walked into someone.

The girl was small boned and practically tumbled to the ground with the force Lucas hit her with.

For a moment, Lucas stared down at her, stunned, before dropping hastily to his knees to help her.

"I'm so sorry!" he said, scrambling to help collect her fallen papers. "Dammit, I need to get out of the habit of knocking into people. It's not a good way to make an impression."

The girl smiled at him uneasily with wide eyes.

"Actually, you definitely made an impression," she said, straightening herself out and standing.

She reached for the papers in Lucas' hands but he was staring at them, transfixed, reading over the text in bold letters.

"Sign club?" he asked.

Her eyes brightened.

"Yes! We hold it every Wednesday. Are you interested?"

Lucas bit his lip, eyes still glued to the paper. Did he even have a reason to learn sign language anymore?

"My boyfr--ex--friend I have--had--"

Lucas cleared his throat and tried again.

"Someone I know is deaf," he settled on.

The girl--bless her--chose to ignore Lucas' fumbling.

"Oh really?" she asked. "They're welcome to come too. We do short lessons, but it's mostly social. Everyone gets to practice and get to know each other. It's a good way to make friends with people and broaden your communication while you're at it."

"Really?" Lucas asked.

His heart was thrumming from the info. Something like that would have been perfect for William. He'd always been so self-conscious around people. Maybe if he'd known about it, he could have had friends that he felt comfortable with.

Then again, maybe the hearing people could learn a few phrases so that they could at least say hi... Even if they didn't have a particular deaf person in their life anymore...

"Can I come?" Lucas asked, following the girl to the bulletin board.

She smiled brightly and stopped pinning up a flyer, offering Lucas a surprisingly strong handshake.

"I was hoping you'd say that," she said. "We need some fresh blood. I'm Lisa, by the way."

"Lucas," he said, returning her grin.

"Lucas, our class is about to start."

Surprised, Lucas turned to the voice, sinking in disappointment when he realized he'd allowed Blake to catch up to him.

"See you on Wednesday," Lisa said.

"You too," he muttered and turned to Blake, who was obviously waiting to walk with him.

Sighing, Lucas fell into step next to the red head, trying to ignore the moody way he shot looks at Lucas the whole time.

"What's on Wednesday?" Blake asked.

"Sign club," Lucas grudgingly said.

Blake hmed a response and then fell silent.

Lucas finally looked at him when the other boy sank into the seat next to him in class. Blake, as Lucas was becoming more and more use to, was scowling at nothing in particular.

Choosing to ignore him, Lucas pulled out his notes and tried to focus as class started.

"What the hell is that?" Blake whispered.

Lucas glanced down at his notes that Blake was ogling.

"My notes," he said self-consciously.

Blake shook his head.

"Lucas, I've seen your notes. Those are not them."

Lucas' face heated and he glanced down at the small, neat writing.

"William organized them for me," he said shrugging.

Blake didn't say any more and when Lucas shot him a quick look, his scowl had melted into something else, something Lucas couldn't define.

"Can we talk after class?" Black asked quietly, catching Lucas' look.

"I'm busy," Lucas said automatically.

Surprisingly, Blake didn't glare or get mad. He just pursed his lips and stared Lucas down stubbornly with his large eyes.

"Please?"

Surprised, Lucas didn't know how to respond.

He shrugged and apparently that meant yes because Blake smiled smugly and turned back to the front of the room.

For the rest of class, Lucas shifted in his seat, resisting the urge to run.

When the bell rang, he jumped to his feet, but Blake jumped up next to him.

He raised a brow at Lucas, somehow managing to ask where the hell do you think you're going? with a single look.

The red head followed him all the way outside.

"You know, I'm really not interested in talking to you," Lucas said as a last attempt to rid himself of Blake's presence.

Blake shrugged.

"I'm aware," he said.

"Then why are you making me?" Lucas demanded, frustration building in him. "All you've ever done is treat me like shit. I don't want you around me."

Blake's scowl returned tenfold and he shook his head, summer sun lighting his hair firetruck red.

"You act like you're so sweet," he said bitterly. "But you're not."

Lucas stared at him, at a loss.

"I'm not acting," he said. "I failed drama in grade nine and never did it again since."

Blake rolled his eyes.

"This is exactly what I mean, this clueless act of yours--"

"Fuck off Blake!"

Furious, Lucas whipped around to go.

"I just want to know why!" Blake said, following him.

"Why what?" Lucas demanded.

"Why William?"

"What--"

"Why William and not me?"

Lucas stumbled to a stop. By some miracle, he managed not to fall down in shock. He looked at Blake, the splotchy red that had coloured his cheeks and ears and the frustration painted in every line of his body.

"I just need to know," he said. "It's driving me fucking crazy! How did he not get laughed at and brushed off and end up as your boyfriend instead? Seriously, what did he do?"

Lucas swallowed, stunned.

"That day," he said slowly. "When you asked me out..."

Lucas looked around himself, suddenly realizing the irony of where they were standing. It was the hill they always ate breakfast on. The same hill that Blake had asked him.

"You were actually serious?!" He asked dumbfounded.

Blake stared at him for a long moment.

"Are you joking?" he asked slowly.

"Um..."

For once, Lucas was silent. He barely remembered the exchange. Had he actually laughed?

Blake continued to stare at him, frown deepening and deepening.

"Lucas," he said slowly, "What else would I mean by 'Do you want to go on a date with me'?"

"I thought you were--I don't know. I didn't get it, okay?"

Blake snorted.

"Yeah, right."

"You've always been an asshole to me," Lucas said, defensiveness rising. "Why the hell would I take that seriously? I thought you were messing with me!"

"Messing with you?" Blake demanded. "How stupid are you?"

Suddenly they were standing too close together. So close Lucas could see Blake's chin trembling with rage and he felt the same. He'd never been in a fight before but Lucas was ready to pull some hair.

"You're the stupid one," he said. "If you think that calling me stupid is the way to get me to like you."

"You think that's what I want?" Blake spat. "Trust me, I'm over it."

He turned abruptly and marched away and then stopped, took a deep breath and turned back.

"I was stupid before," he said, looking Lucas square in the face. "Because I actually liked you."

He bit his lip, and somehow suddenly looked like a kicked puppy.

"And you're the real asshole."

This time, Blake didn't stop when he walked away.

Lucas watched him go, heart galloping in his chest and stomach suddenly twisted in guilt.

"Fuck," he muttered and took off after Blake feeling like the biggest asshole in the world.

True, Blake had been a bigger one for almost a year now but that didn't change the fact that he'd put himself out there--and Lucas knew how scary that could be--and he'd kicked him while he was down.

"Wait!"

Blake sped up and Lucas had to sprint to catch up to him.

He caught Blake by the shoulder and the other boy shrugged him violently off.

"Leave me alone," he muttered but this time, Lucas grabbed onto his arm and didn't let go until Blake grudgingly stopped.

He turned his face away from Lucas, not meeting his gaze.

"I'm sorry," Lucas said breathlessly.

Blake finally looked at him. His eyes were red and Lucas nearly choked on air.

"William was persistent," he said without thinking.

"What?"

"He told me he liked me a bunch of times. He said he was attracted to me. He even kissed me and I still didn't believe him," he rambled.

Blake didn't say anything and Lucas shrugged helplessly.

"I didn't mean to be such a dick," he said. "I thought you were making fun of me."

Lucas' words rang in his own ears. If he ever doubted his own self worth, the patheticness of his statement was out in the open, now.

Lucas only realized he was still holding Blake in place when Blake looked down at the hand wrapped around his wrist.

Lucas let go and Blake shifted awkwardly before looking at him again.

"You really are stupid," he said quietly.

There was no heat in his words though and Lucas found himself smiling.

"And you're an asshole."

Somehow, their almost-fight ended with Blake walking him home.

They didn't really talk, but Blake kept shooting him looks, and Lucas did the same, both laughing awkwardly when they caught the other.

"See you tomorrow," Blake said when they reached his building.

Lucas watched the redhead go, still feeling a little dumbfounded. He wasn't quite sure how it had happened, but he was pretty sure he'd just made friends with the other boy.

He went up to the apartment, smiling the whole way and then reveling in the electricity when he turned on the lights.

His phone buzzed then and Lucas pulled it out of his pocket.

William flashed up at him and his heart jumped into his throat.

He nearly dropped his phone in his haste to open the message.

It was an attachment.

For the nanosecond it took to load, Lucas didn't breathe. And then a recipe for "foolproof lasagna" opened.

Lucas stared at it numbly.

They hadn't spoken at all since William left. Lucas had wanted to but every time he picked up his phone to do it, his nerve would leave him. He didn't want William to think he was back here pining for him and waiting for his return. He wanted William to enjoy his new life without being held back.

The longer the silence grew though, the more Lucas thought that maybe they'd fallen into a stand off.

But William had broken first.

Lucas' face split into a wide grin. He couldn't keep it off his face.

Even though it was a pointless, silly message, William was thinking of him.

Lucas was still a part of his life.

He typed out a reply, not thinking and stared at the message for a minute before back spacing the entire thing.

I miss you might be a little too strong.

It took Lucas half an hour but eventually he found something fitting.

Everyone liked cute animal videos, he reasoned. What was better than kittens?

He sent the link and tried to busy himself, unsure if he'd get a response but his phone buzzed only a few minutes later.

From: William

Reminds me of you.

Surprised, Lucas rewatched the video. The little kitten attacked the hand attempting to pet it and then immediately fell asleep, half way through the game.

Lucas didn't get it, but it didn't matter.

To: William

I miss you.

From: William

I miss you too.

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