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Chapter Thirty-One: Maggie

It's currently 3:00 PM, we had just finished eating and my mom dropped by to see how Evan was doing and if I was doing fine myself, and went ahead to talk to Tiffany outside of the room to let Evan and me catch up on our own personal matters.

"Haven't you grown bored of me yet? You can do a lot with your time than keep an eye on me, you know." Evan said after quite some time as we watched a movie on the hospital's TV.

I looked up at him from my position on the side of the bed, sitting on a chair while I prompted my head against my knuckles, looking sideways to get a better view of the screen.

I raised an eyebrow "Tired of me already?"

Panic immediately swept over his features as he shook his head "No, no! I love your company! Your company is the best!" I snickered, turning away as I resumed watching.

"I just feel bad that you spent almost half of your time staying here when you could be hanging out with Jess and Ashley, or doing anything else, for that matter," he told me.

I shrugged my shoulders "They still have classes and they said they'll be visiting here anyways. Plus, it's not like I have anyone else to hang out with."

I don't know why but I could feel Evan's intense stare burning holes at the back of my head as I said that "So... you mean to tell me you haven't resolved things with Beth and Emily?"

The mention of their names didn't fail to dampen my mood, immediately catching my attention as I lost all focus from the film and swiveled around to look at Evan as he sat there, gazing at me expectantly.

"No, I haven't," I said, my jaw clenched "And I don't think I'll be able to."

"Don't you miss them?"

"I do, it's just-"

"Do you really wanna drop them out of your life?"

"Why are we even talking about this?" I snapped "Why does it even matter-"

"Maggie," he said firmly, cutting me off "Listen to me."

Something about the authoritative tone in his voice stopped me from talking as I complied with his demand and listened, sitting there stunned as I've never seen him be this serious before.

Every time he asserts his opinions and stands his ground he never goes out of his way to force them onto me this much, so to see him act this grievously is quite surprising, to be honest.

"I don't wanna have to see you lose your friends over something you had no control over. I was partially the reason why they walked out of your life, so if I can do something to help you reconcile with them again, I'll gladly do it," he affirmed, voice laced with guilt.

I shook my head "Evan, you don't need to do such a thing because you think it was your fault when it isn't. This arranged marriage wasn't planned by either one of us, but even so, we have to keep it confidential. Even if it means going to such great lengths to keep it a secret, it was for the better."

"Plus," I added, feeling my throat tighten "In a way, what happened kind of encouraged them to show their true colors. I don't tolerate deceit as much as the next guy."

"You know they did it because they had no other choice, at the end of the day they still came back to you."

"Yeah, only just because they saw you practically dying on my lap in a deserted parking lot!" I exclaimed, standing up from my seat out of agitation "Friends don't do that!"

"I know, I know. It was terrible what they did to you. No one deserves to go through that." he said calmly in contrast to my outburst "Come here."

He motions over at me to come to him, and though I was hesitant, the reassuring and gentle touch to this tone and behavior made me sag my shoulders in silent regard, seeing as how he was trying to be careful with how he was handling this situation as well as my temper.

I slowly made my way towards him and sat down beside him on the bed, feeling him caress the back of my neck as his hand soothingly descended to my shoulders, making me sigh at the sensation of his rough hands massaging my skin.

"I just don't wanna see you down all the time, and it's clear that you still miss them, regardless of what they did," he noted as I darted my eyes back to meet him.

"It just isn't that easy to forgive someone, especially if the mistake that was made has a deeper implication to it. We've gone through so much but never this bad to the point that they're basically strangers to me."

"Well, when we met we were basically strangers, and I kept doing all kinds of bullshit to you that got on your nerves that made you wanna walk out on me each time. But you kept forgiving me until we're here, to where we are now." he said, "I don't know what makes them any different."

"It's because they have been my best friends for years, Evan. For example, what happened with Levi was painful but in the end, I realized it was mainly built from a foundation of infatuation and attraction, and he left as soon as I wasn't giving that to him anymore. It was easy to wrap my head around that, but with Beth and Emily?" I sighed, shaking my head.

"It's different because when it's your friends, there's not any romance that's involved. It's not a give and take situation but instead, it's based on mutual understanding, and when it's broken, it's because they've chosen not to empathize with you anymore." I continued.

"You can force yourself to empathize with your partner when they make a mistake to not lose the romance, but when it's your friends, there's nothing else to lose other than the connection shared." I looked down at my hands "And that connection isn't supported by lust or attraction... it's simply just devotion."

Evan stayed silent as his throat bobbed, trying to find the right words to say something, anything, in response to my words, but he was just speechless.

But before he could utter a reply, a knock resonated from outside the hospital room as we turned our heads to the door "Who is it?" Evan asked.

The door quietly squeaked open, and my breath instantly got caught in my throat as a familiar set of blue eyes, as well as green ones locked with mine, looking every bit apprehensive as the two figures stepped inside the room.

I didn't even notice my hand started shaking until Evan carefully held it in his "Hey, hey." he whispered as Beth and Emily stood by the door, waiting "Relax."

But it was hard to do so, especially when they were looking at me, the expressions on their faces blank, making it hard for me to even know if this whole situation was just as nerve-wracking for them as it was for me "Hi," Beth started, clearing her throat "We thought we'd pay a visit."

She then widens the door slightly so Emily can peek in, and just then I noticed the bouquet in her arms "These are for you," Beth said, indicating towards Evan.

Evan could only nod in response "Thanks," he said, his palm still enveloped with mine.

Beth looked down at our joined hands, a flash of emotion passed by her gaze but before I could even decipher it, it immediately vanished as she spoke: "We were actually here to talk to you if that's okay." she said, looking at me.

I was reluctant, surely for a good reason if they can't already tell, but with Evan's body close to mine and his voice murmuring sweet reassurance to my ear, did the situation feel a lot less bothersome as I tried to compose myself.

"... Well, if you really wanna determine if the devotion is still there," he trailed off as he tilted his head to their direction, looking at me "Here's your chance to find out."

* * *

I hate how I've grown overly dependent on Evan ever since we started getting close. Ew.

No offense, he's amazing and it honestly astounds me how our... friendship, I guess you can say, has improved so much this past couple of months that I can just feel so comfortable talking to him about anything happening in my life, and in a way, knowing that he'll understand me.

The consolation and commitment do mean a lot but I don't wanna have to be so clingy towards him to the point history repeats itself the same way it did with Levi.

That's why I appreciate it a lot, that as I was about to go outside and talk with Beth and Emily but was too scared to do so that he basically looked at me dead in the eye and said:

"You know that I'm always here for you, right? But at one point, you have to fix your problems all on your own without anybody helping you. Advice and guidance are the least I could give you but other than that? It's all up to you. You got this, okay?"

It was quite admirable really, seeing as how he encouraged me to be my own person instead of exploiting my brief dependence on him, with me whining about my issues and whatnot.

I guess it's just because I've always clung to Levi and how he allowed me to over and over until I wasn't even my own person anymore, did the aftermath of that take a toll on me for the worse.

But now that Levi's gone and it's finally my time to be who I am, to figure who I should let into my life without anyone trying to dictate my decisions for me. Now, the first choice lies within whether or not Beth and Emily are worth forgiving.

It was weird, uncomfortable and quite frankly, we didn't know how the fuck this was supposed to go. Can you blame us? More specifically, can you blame me?

I walked out of the room, clutching my sweater as if it was some sort of anchor to keep me grounded in reality so that I wouldn't be derailed from the main issue at hand, to not blow things out of proportion.

But we had to get it over with one way or another.

"Okay, what is that you guys-"

Before I could even question their arrival, let alone acknowledge them since the first time they came here, was I disrupted as they jumped forward, practically pounced on me even-

And... hugged me.

Really tightly, for that matter.

I squealed in shock as Beth wrapped her arms around me, burying her face in the crook of my neck as I looked up to see Emily watching us, teary-eyed.

My eyebrows raised in astonishment as I felt a sense of concern seeing her cry "Hey, are you-"

But almost as if everything was happening all at once, did I feel a moist sensation on my shoulder and I looked down to see Beth sniffling quietly, hiding her face between the crook of my neck. Sobbing.

"Hey..." I cooed, stroking her back "Are you guys okay?"

She softly shook her head, crying as she held me tighter "N-No."

She tried to say more but she was choking up, and despite the overwhelming shock of it all, as soon as I diverted my eyes to look up at Emily again, she smiled a pained smile.

"We just miss you." she told me, her voice trembling "A-a lot."

That's when I broke down. Again.

It was both an emotional rollercoaster filled with us interrupting each other, basically just repeating the same old mantra of "No, it's okay. It's my fault." and vice versa.

It's crazy how your actions can be just as easily influenced by your emotions despite the desperate need to be impartial.

For example, I approached this whole situation with a determined mindset, trying to persuade myself that there shouldn't be any need for sentimentality, just directness, and closure.

However, that was not how it went, because fast forward to now, we're here huddled up in the lobby of the hospital, having just finished crying as I repeatedly dabbed tissues beneath my eyes, trying my best not to make too much of a fool of myself.

Then again, seeing them get emotional after so long of not speaking to me didn't make me feel remotely embarrassed for them, because if anything, I empathize with them.

I empathize with them because, in the end, the connection is still there.

"God, we're so sorry, that was so uncalled for." Beth apologized minutes after we stopped crying, making me laugh as I shook my head.

"No, don't be. In a way we kind of actually needed that."

Beth smiled softly, letting out a breath as she wiped at her cheeks "So um, yeah, where do we start?"

The golden question, where do we start?

I wanted to spew out so many remarks, from "Maybe you can start by explaining to me why you left me at that parking lot, choosing Levi over me?" but then again, we just recovered from having a literal breakdown. That's too much of a bold move.

But almost as if sensing it and reading my mind, Beth ruefully looks down at her lap as Emily gives her a look of equal sorrow "I guess we should start by explaining to you the whole thing with Levi, huh?" she suggested.

I nodded. It was simple, but it hid much of what I really felt quite effectively.

"Levi speculated that you had been cheating on him and I know it was a terrible move to have just walked out on you when you needed us just as much. But he was so adamant about not wanting to do anything with you, and even though he didn't really say it, he made us feel that if we attempted to get in touch with you, he'd walk out on us as well." Beth began.

"We couldn't risk that especially considering he was going through it, and we planned to stay in touch with you as soon as possible but he made it his mission to not make that happen, in the end, he was really determined to make you the bad guy out of all of this."

"But we were also conflicted, because as much as we love you, Levi has been our friend since childhood. He's like a brother to us, so even though we didn't wanna abandon you, we had to make it seem like we did. He controlled this whole situation, it's what he does best."

"We tried our best to stay in contact, but you were gone for so long and every time we even got a glimpse of you from afar, Evan was there and we just knew it wouldn't be safe to just approach you in open sight while you were with him, because one way or another someone is going to see and it's gonna come back to Levi, and we didn't wanna fuel the drama."

"But we tried, we honestly tried. Every time he tried to ruin your name, we did our best to make sure it doesn't leave too much of an impact on your image. We kept an eye on you, we protected you from a distance, and we just... it was hard because we both knew you had already assumed the worst of us, and we really thought there was just no way to fix this."

"Then we saw you at that parking lot with Evan, and we took that as our chance, not only to help you but to finally reach out to you as well. We were so worried and to see how things became in your life..." Beth trailed off as I looked down, clenching my jaw.

"You felt pity," I interjected quite bitterly, causing them to shake their heads.

"No, we felt guilty, because we weren't there with you. In one single day, we saw you going through so much, and we haven't talked in less than three months, and we could only assume what happened throughout that time while we weren't there." Beth explained.

"Not that we're saying you can't handle yourself, because look at you now, you handled that situation far better than anyone could've," Emily affirmed "We just thought..."

"How fucking horrible it was that we could've been there with you sooner, yet we weren't." Beth proclaimed, eyes glossy "A-and we are so sorry."

I stayed silent, not knowing what to say, I was at war with myself about how I was supposed to feel about all of this because truthfully speaking, all of this was too much for me to handle.

"B-but... you have to understand it was hard for us too, and we're not minimizing what we did to you, but we didn't know what to think when you just chose Evan over Levi."

"I tried to explain it to you guys, but all of you collectively blocked me before I could even tell my side of the story," I told them, my tone sharp and defensive.

Beth sniffed as she and Emily exchanged looks "Then tell us," Emily said.

"Tell us, even if it's not completely the full-story, just give us an insight into what happened. Tell us we're wrong, and even if the speculations are real, just please give us an explanation as to why Evan fucking Williams is suddenly your goddamn best friend now." Beth drawled "Because one moment you're cussing out the guy and then the next..."

"You're out in the parking lot with him bleeding on your lap," Emily finished.

I closed my eyes and sighed, nervously fumbling with my fingers as I tried to look for the right words to say but at the same time, contemplating if I should even say anything at all.

Because yeah, they do deserve to know the full story, but will it really clear out the air? Will it really save all of us the trouble? Will it honestly make everything okay?

Then I flickered my eyes back up to meet theirs, and I just thought... maybe. Maybe they do deserve to know this, maybe they do deserve to not be left out in the shadows anymore.

And maybe, just maybe this will fix things. Not completely, but significantly.

Because maybe for once, it's time I stop running away from my own goddamn problems.

Meaning it's time that I finally tell them the truth.

And it was a long, prolonged moment of me explaining the arranged marriage, my affiliation with Evan and his family, the loan, my mom ending up bankrupt because of my father.

I decided to leave out little aspects of it such as my developing friendship with Evan, what I've been through being involved in this arranged marriage with him, thinking how I'll save it for another time. Though, I do believe they would've enjoyed the orange juice incident.

But despite all of this, they listened with slacked jaws and widened eyes and expressions that screamed nothing short of bewilderment because, holy shit, and as Emily quotes:

"This can't be real. This literally sounds like it came straight out of a fucking TV show, there's just no way," she said mid-way while I was explaining the story.

But I rest assured them that everything that was coming out of my mouth right now, was in fact, real. Real as ever and after recapping the whole series of events that occurred in my life these past couple of months, even I had to take a moment out of my time to let all of this sink in.

But as I had finished, they were left utterly shell shocked, mouths wide open as they did their best to properly take in the information just dropped on them.

I didn't expect them to fully comprehend all of it, because it took me a hell of a long time to even register the fact this arranged marriage existed. That it was real.

I gave them some time to process it, throwing in some facts about the engagement here and there as a way to partially reduce the aftershock, such as how it's only supposed to take up to three years or once Evan becomes legal until the contract expires.

They were intrigued and still caught up in the aftershock of it all, but after minutes of trying to understand my dilemma, they managed to form a couple of coherent words to describe what they felt.

"I've always been opposed to these sorts of things and we never thought our best friend would go through one because, holy shit." Emily retorted as I let out a laugh.

"Yeah, it hasn't really been a walk in the park, I'll be honest."

"Has he been bothersome? Like caused you trouble? You know how he is." Beth questioned and for a minute, I actually thought about it.

"To be honest... It was hard. This whole engagement was hard for me to accept, and he was hard to adapt with at first. We butted heads all the time and for a moment, I was so close to terminating this contract despite the consequences it'll give."

"But in the end, I don't know, it miraculously worked out. For both of us, it was still hard, but in a way, we're both growing because of this engagement. It's both liberating but at the same time... scary." I confessed "Because you're thrown into this situation with a person you don't even like, and then the next thing you know, as it proceeds, you mature from it. Grow from it really."

Emily looked at me with much recognition in her eyes, almost as if she was proud of the person I've become regardless of their absence in my life, and she saw that. She looked happy.

While Beth could only look at me attentively, eyes narrowed for some reason not until I looked back at her, and she shook her head and smiled. Though it looked strained.

"We're so happy to hear that, as long as he's good to you." she trailed off, stroking my hair "That's all that matters. But if anything ever happens..."

"We'll be here now, we promise." Emily chided, "If only you would allow us."

I was trying to figure out what to feel because the process of this reconciliation is moving way too fast for my liking, then again, what else is it to explain now, now that we've said what we needed to say?

I looked at the clock of the hospital, remembering how they came here at approximately 3:00 PM, or somewhere around that hour. It's 6:00 PM now.

"God, we talked for three hours?" I said, dumbfounded.

They chuckled "Wasn't that long really, we needed it." Beth said.

I let a weak smile fall over my face as I looked at the two of them and for the first time, their presence didn't seem as unfamiliar to me anymore.

"Yeah," I murmured, "The fact you guys even came here says... a lot."

Their eyes softened as I leaned over towards Beth, whilst Emily huddled in.

"Of course, " they whispered, hugging me.

I closed my eyes, indulging at the moment.

"Thank you," I told them.

"For what?"

I smiled, tears in my eyes "... For being here."

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