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Chapter Sixty-One: Maggie

It's currently January 10th and we have spent the past few days visiting Evan's family's beach house back at Lake Tahoe and going to ski resorts and state parks.

We thought it'd be good to do something fun before our class resumes next week, and so we decided to spend it together along with our parents.

New Year's Eve went pleasantly, to say the least, it was unforgettable in every sense of the word and is probably my most favorite New Year's Eve spent thus far, no offense to the ones I spent with my family before.

Because whenever a new year arises I just give up trying to look forward to something different and exciting, because it always feels like constant repetition. My life.

But for once, I actually am looking forward to this year. Something about it just makes me feel at odds, and I don't know what it is, but it's better than nothing.

These past few days have also given me the chance to reflect and introspect and figure out what I wanna do for the upcoming future and my overall path. My conversation with Jasper back at the party got me back to thinking about the plans I talked about with Evan during our first date.

I also wanted to attend colleges in New York and travel around the world as well, and I know I said it was a risky idea, given how my father probably resides there at the moment.

But I'm done letting that man dictate my life as well as the choices that I make. He doesn't get to have his way all the damn time and I am not going to allow him to control the way we live, especially when he's no longer a part of this family. It's time to cut all ties and to leave the past behind, once and for all.

We returned to Los Angeles by the eighth of January, spending nearly a week at Lake Tahoe. It was a splendid time to put it simply, as our parents got the chance to catch up and bond and have a day off for once.

While Evan and I just left them alone for the majority of the time, spending our days there visiting attractions like the state park and museum, just making great use of our holiday vacation.

Evan was scheduled to get his passport taken today and as I had promised, I was going to go with him. I had already gotten ready and texted him to pick me up at 12:30 PM, as we had planned to be there at 1:00 PM.

I was already dressed in a thick beige sweater, white jeans, and a simple brown trench coat, for it was still winter, and even though Los Angeles didn't snow it still had its occasional rainfalls and was kind of humid in terms of the weather, so it was only compulsory to wear tiny layers of clothing before going outside.

I'm in the kitchen reading a book to pass the time as I wait for Evan when my mother joins me as she enters the room, clad in a simple pink tank top, white shorts, as well as a thin cardigan when her eyes land on my attire.

"Are you going somewhere, sweetheart?" she asked, kissing me on my temple on her way in.

"Yeah, I'm gonna come with Evan to get his passport taken today," I answered as she paused by the fridge, getting a glass of orange juice. A lingering smile made its way up to my face at the sight as I flipped at the pages of my book.

"I heard from Tiffany and Mason during our stay in Lake Tahoe that Evan is planning to attend colleges in New York, that's why you convinced them to get his passport taken, correct?" she asked as I nodded in response. "That's nice, despite everything you two have gone through it's great that you're pushing him to achieve his goals and to be a better person."

"I mean, that was the point of why we got engaged in the first place, right?" she gave me a pointed look "I'm joking."

She shook her head, tracing her fingers on the rim of the glass she drank from "I'm just happy for you two that's all, but be sure that whilst you are helping him on his path is that you focus on yours as well."

I bit my lip as I contemplated over the words I'm about to say next, looking up at her with hesitant eyes "Actually I have, thinking about my future that is."

She turned to me, quite fascinated, as she tilted her head "Oh, is that so?"

I nodded "Yeah, I've been thinking long and hard about it these past few days and I realized that... I also wanna go to New York for college."

She blinked, looking weirdly uneasy as I anticipated her response "New York?" she reiterated "Like New York, New York?"

"Unless you know any another state called New York that isn't here on America-"

"Maggie," she interrupted my sarcastic banter before I could even continue. "Are you sure this is the route you wanna take? I mean, you are fully aware who resides in New York, right?"

I clenched my jaw "You can say his name, mom. Plus dad shouldn't be a taboo topic around the house because at this point we're giving that man too much right to dictate our day-to-day life."

"You know what I mean, Maggie." she pressed on as I stand up from the stool I'm sitting on "You know he'll be able to find out if you're there and the family business is here so I won't be able to keep a close eye on you if he ever-"

I rolled my eyes "Mom, for the love of God, can you please stop letting dad control our lives as if he's still here? Even if he is, I'm done letting our entire world revolve around him, and I think it's about time you should move on too." I persisted, the indignation evident in my tone.

She shook her head in a somber manner "I know, but it's not that easy-"

"I know it isn't but you at least have to try," I concluded, "You at least have to try because if not you're just gonna wind up being stuck in the same godforsaken place he left us in, and that's why I'm going to New York despite him possibly being there, end of discussion."

She was about to argue when the doorbell rang from outside, making me sigh as I pushed my body from the kitchen island, grabbing my book with me. "Evan's here, I have to go."

I was about to make my way to the door when her voice stopped me "Maggie, wait." I swiveled around to face her again and I was greeted with a clouded look in her typically beaming eyes "Let's talk about this."

I heaved out a tired breath at that "Whatever you want, mom. Just not right now, I need some time to think."

She looked like she wanted to persist some more, to deny me what I want but I know she's not like that, I know as much as she wants to fight for what she wants, she doesn't have the confidence to go through with it.

And as cruel as it was for me to do so, I used that to my advantage to dodge this conversation to the best of my ability "Please, another time?" I asked.

She was reluctant but eventually said yes, signaling for my exit as I made my way out the door, instantly catching sight of Evan as he leaned against our front porch, his hands in his pockets.

I walked up to him and he greeted me with a fond expression as he opened his arms to welcome me in his embrace "Hey, you alright? Ready to go?"

I nodded, plastering on a fake smile "Yeah, I am. Let's go."

* * *

He noticed my silence on the way back to his house.

He occasionally sent me worried glances and even from the passenger seat I could feel his gaze drilling holes into the back of my head, but I knew he didn't wanna pester me about it until we arrived at his place.

"Hey," cutting off the engine of his car, he reached out to hold my hand once he parked on the driveway of his house "Are you okay? You haven't been talking the entire day."

Rubbing my forehead, I felt an urge to want to pull my hand away and not talk to him about my problems, but that was just being a total fucking coward at this point.

I've moved past the need to be uncommunicative and I know if I don't vent to someone about this I'm just gonna keep my issues bottled up and eventually explode. Plus this is Evan. He knows me better than anyone.

"I talked to my mom about wanting to go to New York for college." I started as Evan's eyes instantly lit up because of that.

"Baby, that's amazing." he lifted my hand and kissed my knuckles, making me smile, thanking myself for resisting the urge to pull away because this was better than being withdrawn.

"Thank you, and I felt proud of myself for telling her about it until..." His enthusiastic expression then faded as he noticed my earnest demeanor, leaning forward as he encouraged me with his eyes to continue "Until she told me it wouldn't be possible considering my dad is there."

His face fell completely at the mention of my father "What the fuck does he have to do with this? He's not even here to provide for you guys nor contribute anything to his family yet for some reason you have to limit your goals all because of him?"

"That's what I said, but she just kept insisting that it wouldn't be a good idea considering the family business is here and how she wouldn't be able to keep a close eye on me and it's just... it's so frustrating how we have to walk on fucking eggshells all because of that man when he's not even a part of our lives anymore."

I felt a headache begin to develop as I rubbed my temples in agitation "I just fucking hate him and what he did to her and how she feels the need to be anxious even when he's not here."

"Hey, hey, look at me." he reached out to hold my chin and turn my head so I was looking at him "I know what you mean, I know what it means to feel trapped in a certain place in your life and feeling like you need to accommodate to everybody else's needs except your own and not feeling like you get to dictate your own life. I know that feeling all too well."

"I know you do," I mumbled as he grinned, stroking my cheek as I leaned into his touch.

"But like what you said before, your mother is only looking out for you, and that's not to say that you shouldn't pursue your dreams because you should. But you need to look at things from her perspective and to understand that as much as your mother is being unreasonable right now, a lot of the time a parent is just looking out for their child. This one I'm actually sure about."

I didn't wanna fight, I didn't wanna argue, and I didn't wanna disagree with him saying that he's wrong because I know he isn't, at the end of the day as much as I grow frustrated with my mother I know she's just looking out for me and I know her intentions by heart.

She may act inconsiderately and even self-centered at times, but I know it all stems from love, it always does because I know her true nature and she'd never, ever be as cruel as my father.

I know her and she isn't like that. She's not a monster.

"Try to see things from her point of view but to also stand your ground, okay? I know you love her and it's hard to stay mad at someone once you understand their real intentions, so I know you'll be able to empathize with her. But keep in mind this is your life, and only you get to control it." he advised me.

My heart pounded inside my chest as I felt an overwhelming wave of emotions surge through me, feeling a huge ounce of gratitude for the way he was being so sympathetic right now.

"After all, isn't that what we all deserve?" he muttered "To live our lives in whatever way we want, without anybody else's input?"

I couldn't help but smile upon hearing his words, slumping back into my seat as I felt the previous tension in my system begin to dissipate. "You always know what to say whenever I need it," I scrunch my nose playfully as I added, "It's sickening."

He chuckled, amused at my remark before he planted a kiss on my lips "I love you too."

* * *

I texted my mom telling her I'll be arriving home late but to not worry considering Evan will drive me home. She texted back saying for me to be safe and if I ever need anything, I should just message her and she'll come to me right away.

I was instantly crushed with a heavy pressure of guilt seeing how she's over here worried about me and my well-being, while not only a few hours ago I was being the most disrespectful I've ever been just because she acted like a mother.

I made a mental note to myself to apologize once I return home and to discuss my future with her properly, from daughter to mother without feeling the need to argue but to instead understand her this time.

We planned to just relax in Evan's room and to watch movies like we normally do, with his choice this time as we had already spent the last week back at Lake Tahoe watching documentaries and thrillers.

But we were stopped on our way up to his room by none other than Tiffany "Oh Maggie, you're here!" she cheered upon seeing me.

I smiled, going back down to give her a hug "Hey Tiffany, I hope you don't mind me visiting."

"Oh, never, dear. If anything I'd suggest you move in here if only if it weren't for your mother, you're practically family now plus I love seeing your little baby face," she said, pinching my cheeks as I heard Evan let out a snicker.

Trying to dismiss her distinct note of my childlike features and not wanting to take offense from it as she probably just meant it as a compliment (hopefully) I proceeded to ask her "So? You wanted to tell us something?"

"Oh, yes, about that. I was waiting until you came by to visit to tell you both that we'll be hosting a party to announce your engagement and the wedding soon to take place." she declared as my eyes widened. "The party will be happening a week from now and yes I know, we just had one recently but this is to announce our affiliation not only as a family but as business partners."

"Be sure to look your best like how you did so at the party, I'll be the one to coordinate your outfits like last time because I want this whole event to be perfect!" she said with a squeal before giving my cheeks one last pinch "Get ready in a week, you two!"

She exited the room and left us in stunned silence, all the while as I turned around to look at Evan who stared back at me with an equally dumbfounded expression.

"It's official." I told him "Everyone is finally gonna find out we're engaged." 

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