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Chapter Sixty-Seven: Maggie

I watch as the droplets of the rain fall down onto the road and the cars that speed by from where I sit in the backseat of my father's car, the window getting foggy because of the cold weather.

But I'm glad that it did because then I wouldn't be able to see the same park Evan and I agreed to meet as we passed it by.

Swallowing painfully at the memory, it was only last night when we agreed to run away like the idea was even remotely possible. It was good while it lasted, cathartic even.

That we could leave everything behind without having to pay the consequences of our actions, but I grew too optimistic thinking as long as it was him that I'm with, I'd be okay.

I probably would have. Be happy without a noose tied around my neck as I allow myself as well as Evan to bask in the joys of being young and in love.

But it's sad to say life really just isn't that easy.

I look ahead from where the driver is seated as well as the lack of traffic we had to go through, meaning we'd be able to reach the airport in time.

As my eyes darted at the clock displayed at the front of the car, 7:15 AM, the same time Evan and I agreed to meet. Our time.

I tried to hide the way this was affecting me, tried so hard not to just open the door of this car, fucking jump out, run back to Evan and go to San Francisco.

But as I felt my father place his hand on top of mine from where he sat in the backseat next to me, I settled with keeping my mouth shut as he rubbed the side of my palm with his thumb.

It was smooth and cold, his touch, different from Evan's callous but warm hands, and I restrained the need to pull away as I just sat still, completely immobile.

Not uttering a word as he looked over and smiled at me, a nauseating feeling of disgust coursing through my system at the sight as I suppressed the urge to withdraw myself considering it was no use at this point, to recoil and retract, considering he already had me where he wanted me.

"You made the right decision coming with me, Margaret," he said as I didn't dare meet his eye.

As I just kept my gaze on the way the rain met the highway and thought to myself how I could've been in a different car right now, on a different road heading to a different state, with a different man who actually loved me.

"Don't sulk too much, dear." he remarked as he detached his palm away from mine as soon as he picked up on my silence "That boy is going to be fine and so will you. This is just a phase, you'll get over it soon, don't worry."

Again, I didn't say anything, I just kept my eyes glued on the same spot outside the window, thinking if I stared hard enough, I'd be there. With him.

But as we inevitably passed the same park and how I told myself it'd be better if I avert my view of him and the area, I couldn't help it as I caught a glimpse of familiar brown hair.

My throat painfully knotted as I felt a bubbling cry threatening to come out of me in the form of desperate sobs and pleas, but I pushed them down, I pushed all the plethora of emotions inside of me down like how I would normally do, because this is what I'm meant with.

I was never destined for whatever I could've had with Evan, spontaneity as well as freedom, I was meant for this, restraint and repression. Repressing everything including what I longed for and in some world, I could've had.

"It's okay." I thought to myself as I felt the stinging sensation of a tear fall down my cheek as I immediately wiped it away as soon as it fell. Again, repression.

Because as much as I detest my father I knew what he said was true, Evan will be okay and as much as I hated the idea, this was just a phase Evan and I will move on from eventually.

Closing my eyes in an attempt to stop any more tears from falling, however, I wound up with a mental image of Evan inside my head, and for a moment, I felt like he was there, standing in front of me with his usual boyish grin.

"You'll be fine," I said to him in thought as he slowly faded away.

You'll be fine.

I'll be fine.

... We'll be fine.

THE END.

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