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Song: Boy Afraid by Saro

Sensitive song for a sensitive chapter. Please please listen to it. You might relate :D

~Corbyn~

I was still rattled from the circumstances of this morning, even as I sat impatiently in the front row seat of the theater room.

I met him. For the first time in all my 16 years, I met Jett Michaels.

I closed my eyes, blowing out an sigh and rubbing my eyes.

"I almost don't wanna be understudy," Nico whispered from beside me. "They're so good together."

I glared at him and he raised his eyebrow, almost laughing at my frustration. "What? I mean, we're even better," he quickly added.

"There is no we, Nico." I faced my front, staring at the actors on stage. It was a scene with Kris, Jaden, and Gisela who played the princess betrothed to Kris's character.

"Our make out session yesterday proves otherwise," he reminded me with a smirk. "What's got you in a sour mood today?"

I put a finger over my lips, signaling him to be quiet so I could pay attention to the scene in front of us. We were basically running through the same act as yesterday's, but this rehearsal would include the kissing scene.

It stung.

When I thought the play's role of love interest was mine, I'd dreamed of my onstage kiss with my boyfriend. Now he was my ex, and he'd moved on from me in no time at all. The rest of the school probably didn't know it yet, but the moment he and Jaden announce their relationship--which I knew was bound to happen--it would rip me apart. I wondered if he still cared.

Probably not.

Gisela faded from the stage, leaving Jaden and Kris to complete the scene. My heart pumped a little bit faster, circulating envy through my body with every beat.

Being aware of each other's true feelings made them act exceptionally well together because for the most part, they weren't acting. I could see it clearly.

"You feel the same," Jaden frantically insisted. "Despite your duties and beyond your royal responsibilities, I remain in your heart as you are in mine."

I glanced over to see a proud smile on our director's face as he nodded, gesturing for them to continue. Tiana, who sat next to Mr. Price with a clipboard on her lap, looked at me in that very moment. She seemed overjoyed that I was about to be hurt by this.

Jaden moved closer to Kris, cupping his cheek with one hand. "Or am I lying to myself?" They gazed into each other's eyes for a moment as directed, before drawing closer and closer.

I felt myself tense up the second their lips met in a passionate dance, and Kris's arms went right around Jaden. I felt the sting, and for some reason, I found it difficult to pull my eyes away. They just... kissed, forever it seemed.

"They did absolutely perfect," Tiana whispered to Mr. Price. "I don't think anything should change."

"I agree," he considered. Then he called out, "Alright, guys. The kiss should last between four to seven seconds. It's the first one, so it has to be tentative..." His voice trailed off when they completely ignored him, keeping their lips locked.

I heaved an uncomfortable sigh, then felt Nico's hand go over mine. I glanced at him, feeling my cheeks flush.

"Guys!" Mr. Price called as they separated with sheepish expressions. "You can... save the extra stuff for later; did you hear what I said?"

"Four to seven seconds, got it, Mr. Price," Kris answered with a beautiful smile.

"You guys have the homework of timing and rehearsing it; know exactly when to stop the kiss. Just... make sure you both stay on the same page is all I'm saying."

"We can do that." he reassured and I rolled my eyes, unable to take it any longer. I put my script that I'd been using to follow along in my bag and swung it over my shoulder.

"You leaving?" Nico inquired. "I thought we were practicing the songs?"

"They don't need me for that."

"You're the best singer in this entire school."

"Well, clearly, talent means nothing here. I need to leave; my dad's coming back home today and I just... I need to speak to my mom."

"Can I come with?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why?"

"Could you... I dunno, give me a ride home?"

I faced him, lowering my voice. "Nico, I don't ever wanna go back to that area again. I should've stayed away from the get-go."

"But you didn't mind yesterday, or the few days before that."

I clenched my jaw, contemplating it before caving. "Get your shit and let's go." I stood up, leaving him there as I walked out of the auditorium. It didn't take long for him to catch up to me though.

"Did something happen, Corbyn? When you came to pick me up this morning; does that explain your mood today?"

He followed me to the parking lot, and I stayed silent all the way to my car. I opened the backdoor to toss my bag on the seat before getting in the driver's. "Look, what do you care anyway?" I finally said when he entered the passenger side.

"Is it so hard to believe that I like you?"

I rested my hands against the steering wheel, trying to keep myself calm. "Sure, you like me now but that's gonna change."

"And what makes you say that? I thought you felt the same way."

I shook my head. "I'm trying not to," I admitted.

He huffed in disbelief. "Why? Because I'm some stoner kid with nothing going for him?"

"No-"

"That's the only reason. You think I've got no future; you probably can't stand that I'm poor and living in a dusty old trailer. Look, I'm getting the hell out of that place one day. I get good grades despite what you may think, I haven't skipped school in a very very long time, and I intend to go to college to become somebody. I... I'm not pathetic."

"I didn't say you were. And that's not why I'm trying to push away my feelings for you, okay?"

He shrugged. "Then why?"

I stuck my key into the ignition and started my car.

"Corbyn," he urged.

"Because, Nico." I looked at him. "I can't go through this again. Before you know it, someone better than me is gonna take your breath away, and you'll forget I even existed."

"That's not true-"

"Isn't it? Guess what? It just happened to me. I am who I am. I'm not changing, so why the hell would you wanna be with a person like me? Don't kid yourself. I like you more than I want to, but at least give me the chance to squash what I'm feeling now so that I'm not left heartbroken in the future."

"No," he refused. "You said it yourself; you are who you are. And I want to be with a person like you. Come on, you're like the only guy I can talk shit about in front of his face, and you don't go jump off bridges because your puny feelings got hurt."

That made me chuckle and he lifted his eyebrows. "Oh, and besides. Why would anyone wanna be with someone like me either?"

"Honestly, only god knows."

He held up a finger. "Only the devil knows," he corrected.

"Ugh." I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't keep the tiny smile from appearing on my face.

"Hey." He gently took my chin in his hand, leaned forward, and placed an ardent kiss on my lips.

With a heavy heart, I pleaded, "Please just... don't hurt me too much. If you do someday break my heart... at least do it gently."

He stared into my eyes, leaning back into his seat slowly. He didn't say anything, but I was satisfied that he didn't make a promise he wouldn't be able to keep.

I set my car in reverse and backed out of the lot.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened?"

"You gonna tell me why you live alone in a trailer with no family?" I shot.

"Probably not."

"Okay then."

🎵🎵🎵

When I arrived home after dropping Nico off, I raced to the living room then to the kitchen to see if my mother was there. She wasn't, so I went out to the back to see her tending to the garden. Hm. She must be either bored or frustrated if she had to go snipping her precious flowers.

I approached her and cleared my throat. "Mom--"

"Huh?" she jumped, clearly startled, and stood up quickly with alarm in her brown eyes. "Jesus, Corbyn!" Her hand went right over her chest as she dropped her shears. "Why do you do that?!"

"Do what?"

"That's not okay! You don't just walk up on people and catch them off guard, alright? You just don't!" she ranted, her chest heaving as she placed one hand on her hip and the other on her forehead.

I was confused by her outburst, but I wasn't too surprised. "I saw him, Mom," I quietly informed.

She dropped her hand from her forehead and squinted. "What? Wait..."

"Jett. When I went to give Jaden's mother the brochure, he was there. She's staying with him."

"Oh my god." My mom swallowed and shook her head. "What did he say? Did he recognize you?"

"I drive a porsche, I'm well-clothed, and this entire family has been in the local news many times. Of course he recognized me."

"I can't... I-I can't wrap my head around this..." She walked past me then came to a stop before facing me again. "Corbyn, what are you putting this family through? You just couldn't have minded your business. Why'd you have to expose that poor boy's secret?" She held up her finger. "If I were you, I'd pray that not a single word of this gets to your father. He's coming home today, and the last thing he needs is..."

"Is what?" I raised an eyebrow. "To be disappointed by me?"

She frowned. "Go get me a vase; I need to finish cutting these flowers. Either you or Ivy should go pick up Eden from his soccer practice while I tidy up the house and make dinner."

"Can I skip dinner?"

"Absolutely not."

I ended up disobeying her. There was just no way I could face my dad when he returned from his trip. It wasn't lost on me that Jaden could've told him everything, or even made up lies that would anger him.

Jaden wasn't stupid. He probably knew my dad was abusive toward me. This was his revenge, and I didn't blame him at all.

So, yes, I skipped dinner. I stayed in my bed, writing poems as I listened to their happy voices. Their enthusiasm bled through the two stories up to my room, and they sounded like... a family. They were a family, and I took that away from them the moment I was conceived.

I sighed, staring down at what I'd written so far. It was the first quatrain of a Shakespearean sonnet that I wanted to share with Nico some day.

I am haunted by the evils of earth

Knowing who I am, I cannot conform

There lies a mark on me, given at birth

A deep, blood red stain that will not deform

I wanted him to know everything about me, but I was scared. As I should be. If I let my secret out, so much would change.

As much as I tried not to, I did regret spilling Jaden's secret. I regretted what I had to do just to get it in the first place. I should probably tell him that it wasn't Mae, or any of his friends for that matter. Maybe I'd do that tomorrow.

My door opened so suddenly that I gasped in surprise. I looked to see who entered, and I quickly shut my journal and shifted to the edge of my bed.

"You didn't come down for dinner," Dad acknowledged as he stood at my door.

"I-I wasn't hungry."

"Mhm. I asked your mother to put on a movie for Eden, Ivy, and herself to watch while I come talk to you. By the way, she mentioned that she'll be going to your play. She said you wanted me to come as well."

I nodded hesitantly. "I'll be acting on opening night, and singing too. Which I'm really good at."

"I won't be there."

"That's not fair." I stood up frantically, close to tears. "You always used to attend Ivy's ballet competitions when she was a little girl. And you never miss a single soccer game when Eden plays. This play is so important to me and the school; why can't you just come see it?"

He entered my room, shutting the door. "I have no obligations to you. I've made that very clear."

"If Ivy was in it, and she asked you to come--"

"Then I'd go because she is my daughter and I will support my children through all their endeavors."

I bit my lip as my breath hitched. "Do you really hate me that much?"

His expression morphed into disbelief, and he practically marched toward me in anger. I sat down on my bed in fear as he loomed over me with his voice raised.

"How could I possibly love you? You, the son of a man who raped my wife. A man who will never get what he deserves. He ruined her! And to think that when she looks at you and sees him infuriates me!"

I stared at the ground, trying not to give him the satisfaction of crying. I failed.

"You should show your mother some more respect; she's the only reason you're not homeless or dead on some street! She can't even function because of you. Our world would've been better if you'd never entered it. And what're you doing in school? You should be minding your business. Instead you're terrorizing someone whose mother has an addiction. Is that true?"

I swallowed, intertwining my fingers nervously. "Yes," I admitted.

"All the lessons I've taught you, and you never learn. You're just like your pathetic father." He wrapped his fingers around my upper arm, tugging me to my feet.

"No, wait! I-I'll keep my head down from now on, I promise! I'd take it back if I could--" But he ignored me, dragging me out of my room with his fingernails digging into my skin.

"Maybe you'll learn this time."

🌟🌟🌟

The rest of my night was a blur.

Honestly, sometimes it seemed like my mind shut down in an effort to protect me. It must explain why, though my body was hurting, I was numb to it.

I could smell vanilla, so I knew I was back in my room. I was cuddling my large pillow to my chest, and an area of it had been dampened by residual tears as I stared into space.

I faintly heard my door open as someone rushed to my side. Mom. I felt paralyzed as she pressed a warm towel over my bare back then pushed my hair out of my face.

"My sweet boy. I'll get you away from this, I promise," she whispered, probably more to herself than to me. She set a cup of water on the table and gently took my chin in her hand. "Here, swallow. For the pain."

She was offering me a pill, as usual. But this time, I refused it. I didn't need it. Mom set it aside helplessly, sat down beside me on my bed, and cried in her hands.

🎗🎗🎗🎗🎗

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