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War in my Heart

Coming home is nothing like Harry expected it to be. He has been gone for two years, fighting in the American army in the Middle East for the freedom of the people there. His family and husband knew that the mission would be dangerous, though they didn't know all the details, but Harry had promised he would come home eventually.

Family... There is no one left but his sister, Gemma. He hasn't seen her since he left two years ago and Gemma had been twenty-four. She should be graduated by now. Harry has really been looking forward to seeing her again, but when he arrived at the airport earlier today, his sister hadn't been there.

Even his husband hadn't been there.

Louis, the only one to truly own Harry's heart. The two of them had met at a fair, five years ago. Louis had been sulking, sitting on a bench alone. Harry had decided to give the man some company and joined him. They started dating a week after that and three years later, they had married and moved in together. Louis knew that Harry was in the army. He had taken peace with it from day one. Of course, he always got nervous when Harry had to go on missions, but the look in his blue eyes when Harry had told him that he would be going to fight for about two years... It had broken Harry's heart. When the day came they had to say goodbye, neither of the two husbands had managed not to cry in front of the other. The 'no contact with the home front rule' had made it extra difficult for the both of them.

If Harry had been expecting anyone to come see him at the airport, it would have been Lou for sure. He misses him, prayed every day that he may come home to see his beloved husband once again. But Louis hadn't been there waiting for him either.

They should have known he was coming home today. There were letters sent out when they arrived back at the base camp to go home. Harry had searched the whole airport. "Maybe the letter didn't arrive. Maybe they read the date wrong and they will be surprised to see me back home today." Harry had thought this and smiled. "Lou will be so happy to see me."

Harry had taken his bags and went out in the musky summer day. He had taken the nearest cab and gave the driver the address to the house he and Louis lived in.

And now he is standing there, gobsmacked. Harry can't even believe his own eyes.

The dawn had started to come in when he drove home in the back of the taxi. Harry had been so excited to see his husband again, then to call his sister and invite her over for the night.

Harry had paid the driver and turned towards the house. The scene he saw and is still looking at through the window, is slowly breaking him down.

Harry has a good view of the living room. He can see the couch, on which Louis is laying, asleep, with his head in a man's lap. The man, who has short brown hair and muscular arms is rubbing his hand through Louis' hair while he watches television.

Harry has never seen this man before and no logical explanation comes up except for: 'He found someone else.'

With tears in his eyes, Harry picks up his bags once again and starts walking. Willing himself not to cry, Harry crosses the few streets to the house he remembers is Gemma's. He drops his luggage and rings the doorbell multiple times.

"Yes!" A voice shouts from through the door. "Almost there!" He hears a lock open. Then the door swings open and Harry is looking up at the face of his sister.

"What can I help you wi... Harry?" Her voice trails off as her eyes slide over her little brother's body as if she can't believe he is real. "Harry..." She repeats and pulls him into the tightest hug he has ever gotten. Harry too wraps his arms around his older sibling.

"I missed you too, Gems." He says with a teasing grin, trying to forget about what he came home to earlier today. It's only when he feels the wetness on his shoulder Harry knows something is wrong. He places his hands on Gemma's shoulder and looks at her worried as he puts some space in between them. "Gems, are you alright? I know you missed me, but this much..."

Gemma shakes her head and pulls Harry inside the house, "You don't get it, Harry. You were dead." She brings out in a small voice as she hands her brother the letter they all received three months ago. The official letter the army sends out to loved ones and relatives of a fallen soldier. "We buried you, Haz. We had a funeral." Harry frowns as he feels his heart leap in his chest before he looks up again.

"They... They sent you this? I am not dead. They must have made a mistake." Harry says shocked as he reads the letter. He shakes his head and throws the letter away. "I'm here now. I'm not dead and I'm not going to leave anymore."

Gemma tries to wipe away her tears, nodding. "You better look for another job, I'm not letting you leave again." She says and adds. "I don't think Lou will either."

Harry goes stiff at her words. "Why would he care?" His voice is soft and uncertain instead of harsh like he implied it to be. He is staring at the floor under his feet, the black combat boots are getting dirt all over the place.

"Why would he... Harry, he is your husband. Of course, he cares. Why would you think he doesn't?" Gemma had taken a step away from Harry and is frowning now. He isn't crying anymore, which is a relief to Harry since he doesn't like it when the people he cares for cry.

Harry sighs and looks up at his sister pained. "I saw him on the couch, at home. It seems like he moved on from me, Gemma. He was cuddling with this handsome man with brown hair." He sighs. "But if he is happy with him, so be it. I will be happy for him too." He wills back the tears in his eyes as those words pass his lips. He can't believe he just said that.

He frowns surprised when he hears the snort coming from Gemma. "I can't believe you, Harry." She shakes her head. "You have always been one to jump to conclusions."

Harry opens his mouth. "Well, what would you think when you came back home after years and you saw that scene in your house, Gems?" He snaps, his hands gesturing wildly to support his question.

"For starters, I would have ringed the doorbell and asked for an explanation." His sister answers him calmly as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. "But Haz, I can assure you that Louis still loves you a lot. I thought I was hurting badly when I got that letter, but when I saw Lou... It broke him completely, Harry. To the point we can't leave him alone all day." Gemma says. "He turned to drinking. Luckily, I talked him out of it."

Realization hits him then. "Oh." He says. He can imagine what it must have felt like for Louis to get that letter. Only imagining how hurt Harry would be if he had to be the one to bury Louis is enough to make him want to cry. "So, the man? He is trying to help him get better?" He asks softly.

Gemma nods. "Yes, Harry." He says.

"And they are not together?" He asks again, just to make sure.

Gemma chuckles. "I sure as hell hope not." She says and when he sees Harry's confused face she adds, "Liam and I are engaged." She holds up his hand to show her brother the ring that matches Liam's.

Harry's eyes widen and he punches his sister's arm. "You should have told me that earlier, Gems!" He exclaims. "Congratulations!" He hugs her again. "I'm so glad to hear you finally found someone to put up with your smart-ass remarks."

Gemma only hugs him for a moment, playfully pushing him away after she heard the last line Harry spoke. "You haven't changed one bit, jerk." She says. "But I mean it, Harry. It's good to have you back." The sincerity in her words makes Harry smile widely. "Now," She continues. "Liam left earlier to comfort Lou. I was left behind to make dinner for all of us. There is enough for the four of us, Harry. Would you like to join us?"

Harry raises an eyebrow. "Are you inviting me to have dinner at my own house? Gemma, of course, I want to join you guys. It would be nice to meet your fiance. And see my husband again." The last part he adds quieter, with a glimmer in his green eyes.

Gemma smiles. "Fine, can you go to the kitchen and get the food? It's on the dinner table. There is pie in the fridge, bring that too. I'm going to put your bags in the car and call Liam to tell him you are back, alive and well."

Harry nods and watches as Gemma disappears through the door. Shaking his head, he walks to the kitchen to collect the food his sister told him to get.

When he gets into the car, next to Gemma, his sister had just gotten off the phone. "Let's go, Gems. I want to go home." He says as Gemma drives.

The car ride is short and Harry is bouncing his leg up and down when he sees the house he left only an hour before. Gemma parks the car and Harry gets out. He takes the food with him and waits for his sister, even though he just wants to sprint inside by now.

"You must be Harry." He hears a male voice from behind him and when Harry turns around, he sees the man, who he supposes is Liam, standing in the doorway. He smiles at him and nods.

"And you must be Liam." He says. "Sorry I can't shake your hand, I would have to drop the food, but it is nice meeting you."

Liam chuckles. "It's okay, I'm just glad that I get to meet you, Harry. I've heard nothing but good stories about you. You sounded like a real hero."

Harry chuckles at his words. "I like you. Hey, Gems. Good pick, I like him." He says over his shoulder to his sister, who is catching up with them and kisses Liam softly as a greeting.

Harry isn't paying attention anymore. He is trying to look inside for Louis.

"He is still sleeping on the couch. I thought you would like to wake him up." Liam says and steps aside so Harry can go in. "Just, be careful with him. He didn't take your death very well."

Harry nods again and smiles. "Thank you for taking care of him when I couldn't. I could never thank you enough for that." He whispers to the happy couple before walking into his home for the first time in two years.

The smell welcomes him. It smells like home, like Louis. Harry quickly walks into the kitchen to put the food away. Nothing has changed. Only a small candle is burning under his picture on the counter. Harry realizes that must have been the picture they used at his funeral. It was taken on the day he had proposed to Louis.

Harry smiles at the memory before blowing out the candle. They don't have to mourn his death anymore.When he walks into the living room, he sees his husband on the couch, curled into himself and dried tears on his cheeks. Harry crouches down in front of him and softly lays his shaking hand on Louis' arm. It's then Harry notices that he is crying nervously. 

"Lou? Darling?" He asks softly, and his husband stirs a little, not waking up. Harry softly runs his fingers through Louis' hair before speaking a bit louder. "Lou, wake up, please." He says. "I want to see your beautiful eyes." He smiles a little as Louis' eyes flutter open.

"Li?" His broken voice asks. He sounds so tired.

"Not quite, darling." Harry chuckles and smiles brightly as tears continue to run over his cheeks.

Louis' eyes lock with Harry's then and the blue-eyed man sits up abruptly. He scoots away from Harry with his eyes wide. "No! You are dead." He whispers broken and tears start to run from his eyes too.

"I'm not dead. They made a mistake, Lou. I am alive and well. And I'm home now." Harry tells him, reaching out for him. "I love you."

Louis' eyes search Harry's to see if he is really there, that his eyes aren't giving him falls hope. A sob leaves his mouth and then he leaps into Harry's arms.

"Harry!" He cries out and clings to his husband as if he will disappear again if he ever lets go. "Hazza." He repeats, not being able to say anything else through the sobs. He buries his face into Harry's neck and closes his eyes.

Harry holds onto him. He tries to calm him down. "Shhh, It's okay, Lou. I love you. It's okay." He whispers to him while rocking him back and forth. "We will be okay."

He can hear Gemma and Liam in the kitchen and Harry is glad they have given them some privacy. It's half an hour before Louis has calmed down enough to pull his face from Harry's neck and to look at him with a smile. "You are back. You came back." He whispers.

Harry nods. "I promised you I would, and I keep my promises." He tells him. "I missed you, Louis. So much." He kisses him then, softly.

"I missed you too, Harry. I love you." Louis whispers against his lips. "Will you..." He looks down at his lap and sighs. "When do you have to go back?" He whispers.

Harry places his fingers under Louis' chin and lifts his head until their eyes meet again. "I'm not going back anymore, darling. I'm going to stay here with you, search a job that isn't dangerous and start a family with you." He tells him. "I'm not leaving you ever again."

And Harry knows in that moment, when Louis' eyes light up with happiness, that he made the right choice. His home is here, with his husband and his sister and his sister's husband-to-be, no matter how much he likes saving people. His family will always come first.

---------------------------------------------------------------(2437 words) 

Because I don't have time to write, I will leave this thingy I had sitting around on my computer right here for you to enjoy. 

So hope you did

Let me know 

xx Lisa xx (20 years old at last) 

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