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I'd decided to stop fooling around with Dask a year earlier, because it'd seemed like the right thing to do, at the time. The past year, I'd done whatever I could to forget about what we use to do together, trying to stick with what I thought, at the time, was the best decision for us. Somehow, I'd managed each day, to not give into temptation.

I'd tried to put our experiences out of my head, but sometimes it was all I could think about. Sharing a room with him, a bed at that, hadn't made it easy to stay away from him. Spending every day of our vacation together, on an isolated island, urged me closer to him. Dreaming about him and being able to feel him, in that way again, had me practically hyperventilating at the thought of being close to him again. I found myself aching to touch him in ways I hadn't let myself in so long, and reminded of all the things I'd thought about doing to him, as well as all of the things we'd done previously.

Now, having him so close, pinned underneath me on the ground, I couldn't remember in that moment, the reasons I'd stopped messing about with him in the first place, or the reasons I'd given myself to not touch him again. The possibility to do what I'd been wanting to, for so long, seemed to open up, right in front of me. I didn't even seem to decide what I was going to do, it just felt like it happened.

My body remembered how to mold itself into his, enjoying his warmth and enveloped by his familiar smell, which was both exciting and comforting to me, at the same time. His body underneath mine, every part of our bodies pressed together, electrified by his touch, sensitive to his closeness, responsive to any of his slight movements. I was excited, wanting to do anything and everything to make it last, and be closer to him still.

My eyes were pulled towards his full, plump lips, all soft and pillowy looking. They were tantalisingly close, mere inches away, ripe for kissing. Lips I'd been dreaming about for the past year.

He looked up at me with his soft blue eyes, clear and beautiful, that spoke a language that seemed to beg me to come closer to him, to initiate something, anything so that we could be close again.

I leaned down and gently brushed his soft lips underneath mine. His plump lips gave way, and softly molded to my own. His mouth was sweet, and his breath was warm, his taste intoxicated my senses. He trembled beneath me, quiet moans escaping from the back of his throat.

I pulled back a little, trying to gage his reaction. It'd seemed like he'd wanted it, but I could have been wrong. His face was flushed, his lips were red. His eyes were dark with want, flickering between my eyes and lips. I was breathless at the sight of him.

"Do you know how long I've wanted to do that?" I asked.

He shook his head.

"Feels like forever," I whispered. Then I leaned down and kissed him again.

We got caught up in each other and the kiss became more passionate. But then, as quick as it started, and all too quick for me, he gently pushed me away.

I was confused, as I looked down at him. He'd wanted me to kiss him, right? He'd wanted something. The way he'd looked up at me burned with some kind of want, I was sure of it, as sure as I'd ever been of anything. But now, he was looking up at me with a mixture of fear, confusion and a hint of accusation in his eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

I didn't know what to say. I stumbled over my words as I tried to gather my thoughts. "I...we...you...I," I was confused. I didn't know had we gone from passionately kissing each other and perfectly molding ourselves together, to him being unhappy, angry even. "I just thought..."

"What? That I wanted some guy to kiss me?" There was no denying his anger. He gently, but firmly, pushed me to the side, so he could stand up, and brushed himself off.

"I'm not just some guy, Dask."

"No, you're suppose to be my best friend."

"I am your best friend."

"No, you're not. Not anymore," he said quietly.

Panic rose inside of me. He'd never said anything like before, especially to me. He sounded like he actually meant it. "What?" I asked.

Dask looked like he was going to say something. Instead, he shook his head and began to walk away. I grabbed him by the elbow, but he quickly pulled away from me like he'd been burned. I felt like I'd been slapped.

"What the hell, Dask!"

"Leave me alone, Jo," he said.

My fear of losing him grew. He'd never asked me to stay away from him before. My stomach dropped. "I wasn't thinking!"

"Clearly!" he said, walking away.

I was desperate to make him understand. I quickly followed after him. "Can you let me explain?"

"No." He kept walking.

I could count on one hand the number of times Dask has said 'no' to me in the past. It seemed he wasn't just having second thoughts about the kiss, but our entire friendship too.

I didn't understand, I was sure he'd wanted me to kiss him, otherwise I wouldn't have done it. I began to question whether I'd been fooling myself. Perhaps he'd let me kiss him just to be accommodating? Yet, I was certain he'd kissed me back.

"You kissed me back!" I called after him, catching up.

"No, I didn't."

"You did!"

He shook his head, continuing to walk away. "It meant nothing," he said.

"Dask!"

He ignored me and kept walking.

"We can barely keep our hands off each other."

"We're just horny."

"For eachother."

"You're wrong."

"Am I?"

"Yes."

"How many times during this past year have you wanted us to make out?" I asked him.

He stopped, his back to me, silent. After a little, he shook his head. "It's not making out."

"What is it then?" I asked him.

Dask was quiet. He was looking out at the ocean and the breeze was blowing his hair.

"How many times during the past year have you thought about what we use to do?" I asked.

Dask started walking away again, not answering me.

"How many times have you touched yourself thinking about it?" I called after him.

He stopped walking and turned around. "Never!"

"Really?" I asked, moving closer to him, knowing I was probably taking things too far, but going there anyway. "How many times have you wanted me to touch you?"

Dask looked furious. I got a sinking feeling in my chest. He'd never looked so angry with me before. This was a side of him I'd never seen.

I felt sick, desperate to escape. There was a quickly developing ache in my chest, my stomach felt nauseated and my head was swirling with thoughts. It felt like it might be the end of our friendship, and I was powerless to stop it.

"I don't want you!" he spat.

I was shell shocked, overwhelmed by the emotions I was feeling. I was angry at myself for screwing up, at him for confusing me, that this was coming between us and that he'd let it be the deciding factor to end our friendship. After everything we'd been through together, his words cut me deep. I knew things between us would never be the same again.

"Well, I don't want you either!" I yelled back.

We looked at each other, a challenge present. The anger in his eyes died, but I knew things had changed. I didn't know if they'd ever be the same again.

Something had been broken between us. Perhaps trust. I felt myself disintegrate on the spot. All I'd ever known was him. If I didn't have him, I didn't know what to do, or who to be. I felt an overwhelming sense of loss.

I left as fast as I could, trying to escape the grief that was caving in my chest. I turned towards the manor and began to walk towards it, leaving him standing on top of the cliff face, overlooking the ocean. My heart burned, hot tears trailed down my face as I walked away.

Dask was my best friend, I didn't ever want to lose him. I guess I didn't have much of a choice this time. No matter how much we had in common, we were always completely different too. I'd stuffed things up between us and we were never going to be the same again.

---

I'm so sorry this chapter was late. It was a difficult chapter for me to write. I hope it turned out okay.

Thank you so much for reading.

♡ dreamydaze

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