Array
(
[text] =>

I'd over reacted to Jo's kiss. Kissing each other was really only a bit more than what we use to do. I still wanted him as my best friend. I needed him in my life.

I walked back to the manor a little after he had left. No one paid much attention when I arrived. The adults were sitting around an open fire they had made outside. They were chatting and laughing, holding a drink in their hands. Jo and Derek were sitting near the fire, roasting marshmallows. Derek gave a quick nod in my direction. Jo didn't look my way.

Nothing feels real or right when he is upset with me. I feel alone and miserable when he shuts me out, like I'm on the outside looking in while everyone else goes on about their daily lives. Everyday things become a chore, and life is more difficult. I can't operate, or think properly and nothing makes sense. I don't know how to function without him, and I don't really want to try. It hurts and my chest feels tight, making it hard to breathe. I feel sick inside. Everything feels wrong and unreal when he ignores me.

I decided to somehow make things right between us again.

I went upstairs to the room Jo and I were sharing, wanting to shower before joining them all downstairs.

I began to gather my things from the cupboard, but stopped when I noticed Jo's bags were no longer in there. His dirty clothes weren't scattered along the floor anymore and his shoes and things were gone.

I sat down on the bed, feeling sick. The bedroom felt larger than ever, empty, despite the multiple antique furnishings that filled it.

I walked over to the large window, and pushed the deep, red curtains to the side a little. I looked down at everyone still sitting around the fire. I closed the curtain, feeling more than a little alone.

I wanted to forget about taking a shower, and instead turn the bedroom light off and curl up underneath the thick covers in the oversized bed.

Knowing I needed to wash the dirt of the day from my body, I forced myself to walk back over to the antique dresser and pull out some clothes. My heart felt heavy as I trudged along to the shower.

Afterwards, I dressed, and slowly made my way back to the bedroom. I threw my dirty clothes into the hamper near the door, next to a small wooden wastebasket there. I hung my towel up on the large golden hook behind the door, and switched the light off.

I walked with heavy steps over to the bed and moved the thick covers back. I laid down in the bed and curled up into myself, pulling the blankets tight around me.

Laying there in the dark, I felt like I'd ruined things between Jo and I. Tears gathered in my eyes, and a lump formed in my throat. I was glad everyone was downstairs when a muffled sob escaped me. Tears quickly slid down my face and my nose became blocked. I gasped for breath as silent sobs wracked my body. My head felt heavy and I felt miserable.

My nose was dripping like a faucet, forcing me out of the bed to fetch the tissue box I'd seen lying on the dresser. I blew my nose, spying the small wooden wastebasket near the door. I picked up the wastebasket as well as the tissue box and walked back over to the bed. I placed the tissue box on the bedside table and the wastebasket next to the bed. I laid down and wrapped the covers tight around me again, holding some fresh tissues tightly scrunched in my hands, underneath the blankets.

Tears continuously streamed down my face. My chest felt like it was caving in on itself, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I gasped for air then a hiccup escaped me. I blew my nose again and threw the used tissues in the bin and grabbed some more. I wiped my face with the fresh tissues, trying to catch my breath amongst the gasps and sobs and hiccups. I threw more tissues in the bin and reached for new ones.

I missed Jo.

---

Thank you for reading!

I apologize for the short chapter. I'm struggling with the story at the moment. It should come good by next week.

Thank you for your support. I appreciate it.

Lots of ♡

- dreamydaze

[text_hash] => eced0498
)