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One of Luke's quotes above.  Thank you @_.zahraa_.fazeel._ for turning it into a motivational poster.

Chapter 39: This far before

I've survived today. That's all I've done. Survived today – and somehow – I felt incredibly proud of that.

Finally, we could relax together at home. The TV was on in the background but we paid it no attention. Thai takeaway warmed my belly as I ate the last of its contents. Across from me, Luke finished his.

He had ordered us dinner before switching his phone off. We were both exhausted and his phone lay discarded on the table, next to the soy sauce.

"How much sleep did you get last night?" I asked him as we picked up the empty cartons.

I'd scored a couple hours of sleep before Luke carried me to school on his shoulder this morning. I wonder if he caught any.

"Thirty minutes in class," he answered.

He took our chopsticks and I showed him the recycling. I wondered how he'd managed to survive today on no sleep and with an athlete's schedule.

It reminded me of how disciplined he was. I waited for him in the kitchen while he poured himself another glass of water.

He offered me a glass, but I rejected it. I would've accepted ice cream or a chocolate brownie, but Luke didn't have a sweet tooth and forgot to order dessert.

Maybe he could be dessert. He tempted me so much lately. I was always itching to touch him. 

I watched him drink the cold water and my fingers found their way to the bottom of his shirt. He raised an eyebrow as he finished the glass.

My fingers slipped under his shirt and pressed against the hard outline of his abs. I followed their curvature and pressed the palm of my hand firmly against him. He exhaled, placing the glass on the counter.

"Why didn't you make it to my competition?" I asked him.

His eyes followed the movement of my lips. I'd distracted him.

"I tried," he finally said, "Coach found out about the guys selling their jerseys. He made us all do drills in punishment."

"Drills?" I asked, dropping my hands from him.

Luke caught my hands and put them back onto his body.

I thought that was cute. 

He wrapped his own arms on my waist, looking down at me tenderly, "I wish I could've gotten out of it, but anyone who didn't show up was off the team. He's taking it seriously and making us do sprints every day for the next two weeks."

That sounded like more punishment than anyone could deserve. It always struck me as odd that people willingly subject themselves to 'punishment' in the name of 'training.'

"So what do you prefer," I mused, as our lips came close to touching. I exhaled onto his lips, "Me to be annoyed now or later?"

I was not annoyed at all.  Maybe I should be, and maybe 0.0004% of me was.  But the rest of me was entirely infatuated.

"Later," he smiled, kissing me through his smile, "Definitely later."

"Come," I pulled away and pulled him along with me.

I took him upstairs to my bedroom. It felt so nice to have this night to ourselves. Alone, just the two of us.

One thing I could be sure of, was that my home had fewer distractions than his. My sister and mother like to forget I'm around. And, for once, I didn't think that was a bad thing.

We walked up the steps, with Luke following me. Our feet pressed down against the carpet. My hand was wrapped in his and I blushed, feeling his eyes watch me walk up the stairs.

I tried to remember if I had left my bedroom messy this morning. Luke hasn't been to my room many times. Last time was probably when he saw the bloody jersey...

I realized that by the way Luke was looking at me, it was probably the last thing on his mind.

Luke closed my bedroom door softly behind him. I suddenly felt very vulnerable and conscious of my unmade bed and the stuffed toys in the corner of my room. Here was a boy... in my sanctuary.

He closed the distance between us.  Luke's thumb lightly touched my cheek and he tenderly stroked my skin down to my lips. I inhaled and his thumb momentarily entered my open mouth.

His fingers rested against my neck and he used that light grip to gently pull me towards him. His soft lips came down on the cape of my neck. He exhaled hot breath onto my bare skin, causing the hairs on my neck to stand up. My skin tingled as he lightly sucked my neck, his other hand roaming down my side.

"Why are you stopping?" I asked, opening my eyes.

He was looking down at my hands on his shirt and then looked directly at me, "Do you want to take it off?"

I blushed, "Only if you want to..."

It's true that my hands have recently gotten a fascination with his shirts. I keep tugging his shirt or playing with the fabric in my fingers, too afraid to do anything about it.

"You want to watch me take my shirt off. Tell me that," he said, not a hint of shame in his voice, "You don't need to feel guilty about desire."

"I don't," I lied.

"We can take all the time you need. Foreplay," he said, "It's the feeling you get when you touch me with the fabric in between us." He took my hand and gently guided it from his stomach up to his chest, "And then when you feel what's under."

He moved in slow motion.

I felt enveloped in him. His hands on mine, guiding me over him. I didn't have to overthink. He was showing me, and it took all the self-doubt out of the atmosphere. I couldn't focus and yet all I could think about was Luke.

What a conflict.

I raised his shirt gently, knowing he wouldn't do it for me. I could feel his own skin get goosebumps as I took his shirt off and rubbed my hands more comfortably over him.

That was a cue to him, and his slow pace quickened. He pulled me closer to him, letting me know how it felt to have him firmly against him. His fingers now came to my shirt.

He knew what he was doing.

"Do you want to?" he asked.

I nodded, "We've gone this far before."

I remembered our shared shower at the lake house.

He softly laughed, "But you go hot and cold. It's hard for me to keep up."

That's true.

I pulled his shirt off and kissed him.

I shuddered as he lifted my shirt over my head. 

I felt so bare in front of him, insecure.  I wrapped my arms around his strong back.  

"Not too far this time," I whispered.

Luke sighed and I felt him withdraw, letting the tension evaporate after my last comment. 

Luke was in my bedroom, his shirt on the floor. Mine was scattered somewhere too. 

He got out of bed, wearing only his boxers. His toned body on full display. He walked over to my vinyl collection and pulled out a record.

I could tell he was trying to calm down.  

I felt guilt.  Why didn't I want to go further?

"I didn't realize you collected these, Minnie," he mentioned, turning it over.

Truthfully, I felt a bit nervous.  I didn't know what to do after we just... and now... and he... 

My thoughts were really deteriorating. 

I don't know what I expected, but I was feeling a bit nervous about all of this. I'm not used to a guy in my room. But Luke always kept the mood so relaxed.

He sat back on the bed and put his bare arm over me. I snuggled onto him and further in bed. It felt reassuring, having his body to lean against, that I found myself beginning to fall asleep.

My eyes were drooping but I said, "The last few days have been intense."

I couldn't even summarize everything that's happened in the last 48 hours.

"You and I need some time together," Luke said, his hand resting on my hair, "I want to take my girlfriend out."

He likes to play with my hair. He curled strands of my hair around his fingers. I snuggled up closer to him, inhaling his familiar scent. My head lay on his bare chest, listening to his regular breathing. It was hypnotic.

Up and down, his chest moved. I felt the warmth of his body against my skin. The comforting touch of someone who cares for me. 

He was relaxed, holding me in in his strong arms. I could think of all the clichés, but the one I felt the most right now is how I don't want this moment to end. I couldn't think of anywhere in the world I'd rather be.

Is this what love feels like? Like home?

Nothing could feel this good - Except a caramel caffe breve latte on a stressful day. 

Maybe I look at Luke the way I look at my coffee. That would be lo...

"That would be nice. Maybe tomorrow?" I suggested, "Unless you have practice again."

"I'm sorry about missing your competition today, Millie," he repeated his apology, his hand lowering from my hair to my shoulder.

"It's ok," I raised my head up from his chest to look at him, "I'm sorry too."

I'm sorry I'm not ready yet.  I'm just getting used to this.  To us.

He held onto my shoulder and kissed me. The feeling made my skin tingle all the way through my body. I wanted to be held close, all night.

Maybe we can try again another time.

**

I woke up in the middle of the night, confused at first. I didn't remember falling asleep. I remember being with Luke but was that a dream?

I felt an arm over me and almost flung it off. I wasn't expecting anyone in my bed. And here was a hand... like the stray hand in the Addam's Family.

He was asleep. His body was warm, and his arm was wrapped over me, keeping me close to him. 

I've had this bedroom my whole life. I've eaten sweets from a sweet stash under my bed and hidden under the bed sheets to read when I should be sleeping. I've watched countless movies from bed and fantasized about a million lead characters.

But for the first time, there was a boy in my bed. 

And he just so happened to look like a Greek god fallen to earth in the form of a teenage boy. His skin was soft and clear, but his muscular body created ripples across his shoulders and chest. I was so close to him that I could touch it. He was lying with his eyes closed on my pillow. The sheets weren't covering him. They were all over me instead. But he was still asleep, despite that. Naked except for black boxers.

"Luke," I whispered.

I watched his eyelids flutter at the sound of my voice. I realized then and there that he had me played like a violin. 

His eyes slowly opened and struck me with their blue.  

A/N: There was a lot more intimacy and one-on-one time in this chapter.  Want more?  Vote if you liked it so I know whether to write more :)

I knew I was going to drop in an Addam's family reference at some point in this book.  And here it was - Chapter 39 - mission accomplished!  

Please vote!

Natalie

IG: @NatalieInACorner

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