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Thank you @caitlinread.x for your artwork! I couldn't decide between the two so I had to post both :)
Chapter 79: Abandoned
There is a broken record in my bedroom that reflects the remnants of a home invasion. In a way, my family life has shattered in a similar way.
Maybe there is no perfect life out there, but mine is not even a contender right now.
I carry with me abandonment issues that hurt my current relationship. I know that now. My insecurities paralyze me sometimes. They've been put under a magnifying glass, especially after I started dating someone in the spotlight. Metaphorically, speaking.
I tried to process what was happening. I tried to unsee my mom standing outside the same house I thought she abandoned.
I looked away from the window to my boyfriend at the center of attention. The crowd directed their applause at him.
His hair was so dark against the backdrop of the white fireplace behind him. He was tall, standing there with his hand in his pocket. Luke has a strong presence, thanks to his muscular build, visible even under his clothes. I tried not to think of what was under his clothes...
He cleared his throat and his voice carried across the room, deep and raw, and entirely unwilling to be here:
"Thanks for coming. I missed my eighth birthday party, so I'm glad to relive that lost time today."
The crowd laughed more than his mother, who had spent the time blowing up blue balloons and preparing the basketball themed party-food today.
"That's right. He missed the party because he had a game that day," Mr Dawson commented, swerving back into a speech of athleticism and praise.
The speech droned on, describing a future of accomplishments, like it was a roadmap everyone was so sure Luke would breeze through.
Luke resented that. He's made it look like a breeze so far – if you don't look beyond the scoreboards and attitude.
"Are you ok?" Jake whispered to me, "You looked like you saw a ghost and now you're smiling. It's creepy."
Jake brought me back to my reality. I didn't know how long my mom would be standing outside my house before she'd disappear again. What if she was coming back to pick up the last of her things? Would I ever see her again?
I never saw my dad again.
Would Luke notice if I left now? I'm trying to support him, but my life is falling apart. What is my life plan? When my family is gone, how can I look after myself?
"I need to go," I whispered, hearing my voice, though not registering the movements my mouth must've made to say it.
"What do you-" Jake tried to convince me to stay, but I was insistent.
I didn't want to make a scene and neither did he. He didn't understand but accepted that I had to leave.
I looked beyond Jake, at my boyfriend who was accepting a slice of congratulatory cake as if he was that cute eight-year-old kid. I saw his blue eyes glance across the room, and I knew he was looking for me. I looked away before he could find me.
**
Leaving the party brought me back to reality.
I saw her - my mother - wrapped in a dark purple coat that reached her knees. She was standing at the front door in black boots with a black purse slung over her shoulder.
My mind battled two different instincts. Part of me wanted to run into her arms and be cradled like a scared child. The other part wanted me to vent my frustration, my anger and disappointment at what she'd done.
I am a scared child. I am all those emotions and more.
"Mom," I called out.
The word felt weird now.
"Why is there a padlock on my front door?" she replied, turning around to me.
She was just as I remembered her, though less tired and with more make up. The last month had been good to her. It's had the opposite effect on me.
"Because someone broke into the house," I replied, devoid of any emotion.
"I know. Those damn cops won't stop calling me," she sighed, letting go of the padlock and it banged against the wooden door.
I stared at it: the symbol that my boyfriend and his brother cared about me when my family didn't.
"Where have you been?" I asked quietly.
This felt surreal.
"Don't be so nosy," she answered, throwing the front door open, "What's that sound?"
I heard the banging upstairs. It must be the gambler's friend hammering wooden slabs over the broken window. I forgot to introduce our guests.
"Is someone in my house?" she yelled out, screaming into the empty building, "Who's there?! Come downstairs!"
I cared zero for her questions.
"A home invasion, mom, that's what I went through," I reminded her. "Do you know how that can f*ck a person up? They came into my bedroom while I was inside, and where were you?"
My mom turned to look at me and, this time, I think she actually saw me. At least she heard the trauma in my voice. Maybe my words went through her skull for once.
Footsteps on the stairs interrupted our moment.
"What's with the attitude?" the gambler's friend demanded, walking down with a power drill in his hand.
My mom gasped, looking terrified, "Who are you?!"
"Don't ask him any questions," I said. It was part of our deal.
**
~Luke's POV~
This party was draining my energy and I walked up to the one person who I knew would drain it dry.
"Jake," I said, "What did you say to her?"
His watermelon head babbled something incoherent, so I repeated myself. "She was talking to you and then she left. What did you say?"
There is only one person I want to see at this party and she just walked out.
I don't blame her. Three seconds with Jake and I'd walk out too.
A random old person interrupted us to talk about basketball, college and whatever irrelevant accomplishments my dad sprouted. His speech made it sound like I was the future president. I thanked the guy and pointed him towards my parents, who were much more receptive to praise.
Then Jake picked up where we left off. "You must be really insecure if you think I could say something to her-"
"If you don't answer the f*cking question, I have no problem making your head swell again," I threatened, "This place doesn't have enough balloons."
That was 100% sarcasm.
"Why does everything have to end in violence with you?" Jake asked.
"It doesn't," I said, getting angry that he still hadn't answered my question, "But we have Austin's mom here for once, so it would just be convenient."
Dr Taylor was a real one.
"Talking about me?" Austin asked, walking up with one of those ridiculous basketball-themed napkins in his hand.
"Your mom," I replied, without more of an explanation. I stared back at Jake. This boy needed to speak.
Unsurprisingly, Jake spewed out more trash: "Millie's my friend so I'm not going to rat out all our conversations to her d*ck boyfriend. You want to know where she went, but I don't know."
"She went home," Austin pointed out the window we were standing next to.
Sure enough, there was Millie running across the street to her home. And what a waste of time this conversation with Jake had been...
I started to walk out and told Austin, "You don't need to come with me."
Austin was already walking beside me. He commented back, "No offence but this is a dead party."
"Not yet," I smirked, "But one more comment from Jake and it can be."
"You have a real problem!" Jake exclaimed from behind us.
He should say it louder for the guests in the back.
**
~Millie's POV~
I'd been warned not to ask the gambler's friend any questions. The moment my mom asked him three in a row, he walked out. He just quit.
I followed him outside to where he was packing his power drill back in its case. I wanted to thank him for helping me. Thanks to him, I won't sleep cold tonight.
"If you're looking for him, he went to get more nails," the guy told me gruffly, thinking I was wondering where the gambler was.
"Thanks for fixing my window," I said, just as my front door opened again.
Mom walked out in her purple coat, holding the breadbasket.
Is that what she came here for? She can leave her daughter, but not the breadbasket.
"Is that where you've been?" I asked, "With him?"
There was a pound of weed in that breadbasket. And I knew it belonged to her boyfriend.
"I've been staying with him to recover," she said, clutching onto the basket tightly, "Don't give me that attitude when you've been doing exactly the same."
"Is Flora with you?" I asked.
"Yes."
I didn't understand why she would only take one daughter. Was there a cap on these things?
"What about me?" I asked.
"What about you?" she repeated the question like it was a ridiculous one, "You've been traipsing around the world with your rich friends and that boyfriend you have. And watch out before his family strangles you with the leash you're trying to put on him. You've abandoned your own family."
"I abandoned you?!" I cried out, "Mom, I called you every day! I tried to reach you a thousand times and you ignored me! You didn't even leave a note. How am I supposed to take care of myself? How am I supposed to eat?"
"You could do with eating less," she said, pulling car keys out of her purse, "Now cool it, ok? It's been an incredibly stressful time for me and I needed a break. I didn't abandon you. You have a house, a car, keys and I've been paying the bills. That's how privileged you are, and you don't even see it."
"Mom! You can't just leave me like this!" I raised my voice in panic, watching her unlock her car door, "Where is your human instinct? Forget your maternal instinct, since we both know you don't-"
"Don't talk to me like that. You're still a drama queen. I'll be back in a few days," she said, opening the car door, "You're not a five-year-old, so behave your age. You can stay with your boyfriend or your friends or whoever you want until then."
She's taking a break... from being my mother?!
"All of this for what?" I asked, trying to understand why she even came back, "So you can be a drug mule?"
Mom froze in place. Even I was surprised those words came out of my mouth.
"What did you say?" she repeated, daring me to say it again.
I was happy to.
"You're so desperate for a boyfriend that you abandoned your own kids to live with him," I said, "And he makes you hide his drugs-"
She turned around and her hand whipped out to make contact with my face.
But out of nowhere, my body was raised into the air. My scruffy shoes were lifted from the ground as Luke's arms and his body covered mine.
He raised me up, turning his back so that my mom's hand hit his arm instead. What would've been a painful slap on my face, ended up as a light tap on Luke's bicep. And he didn't flinch.
The movement caused my hair to fly into my face and my hands instinctively lowered onto his strong arms wrapped around me for balance. I clasped onto his lower arms and he held me, defensively.
I looked around and saw that Austin and Jake were standing behind him, looking pretty shocked. The gambler's friend was beside them, standing with a plank of wood in his hand. He must have gone back to collect it.
I have never spoken to my mom like that before.
I turned back to face her, feeling Luke's protective body between us. She was looking scared, like she hadn't expected herself to do that either. Her hand shook a little as she lowered it.
Luke said nothing. The fire in his eyes spoke volumes.
"You didn't leave a note," I whispered to her.
I don't know why I cared about the note so much.
It would've been something to hold onto. It would've made everything just a little bit better. When I didn't know where she was, I actually worried about her.
My own hand was shaking now, and I slid it down along Luke's arm, wanting to feel him again for a sense of security. His skin reacted to my touch the same way I always react to his. My hand slid down to reach his, I wrapped my fingers in his and he closed them.
He squeezed my hand reassuringly.
He wasn't going anywhere – and while I was standing here terrified, he was my source of strength.
"Luke!"
We looked to the open door of the Dawson's house. Squished between the blue party balloons, were the happy faces of his family and friends.
They piled out of the front door. Luke's basketball coach led the group alongside his daughter, Jamie. Mrs and Mr Dawson followed. They were all walking towards us, trying to wave him back.
We didn't need this.
"Make them leave," my mom hissed at us, "The whole point of this is not to see his face right now."
I didn't expect her reaction to change so abruptly. So there was more to the story than what she told me. I had a good guess about who she was talking about.
But, the more important question is why?
A/N: We're getting answers in the next chapter, but what are your theories? Why did Millie's mom leave?
It's a short chapter, but it's been such a busy and stressful week so far! If you want to reach me, it's much easier to do so on Instagram (@NatalieInACorner). I'll post updates there!
☆ Please vote! ☆
<3 Natalie
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