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I blinked, trying to figure out what he was trying to say, exactly. ‘Excuse me?’
Rowan shuffled awkwardly for a split second before regaining his usual confident composure. ‘On a date,’ he clarified. ‘You know, sit across from one another, eat something, talk.’
‘A date?’ I asked sceptically. I was having difficulty wrapping my head around what was going on here. ‘Is this some kind of prank? Or like a bet or a dare or something?’
‘No!’ Rowan looked genuinely insulted. ‘Jeez, I know Montague have done some unfair things to Capulet in the past but it’s never been personal.’
‘I wasn’t talking about any rivalry,’ I said dryly. ‘My mind was more in the realm of “hate crime”.’ I know it was a really dramatic term to use, but I’ve been actively scared of coming out since I first realised I was gay. My worst nightmares are made up of things like this: being asked out only for it to end in a Carrie-style disaster.
Rowan squinted one eye at me suspiciously and said, in slightly sarcastic tones, ‘If I’d been going to punish you for the mortal abomination of your sexuality I’d probably have done it directly after the kiss, don’t you think?’
I shrugged one shoulder. ‘How would I know?’
Rowan
This was not going to way I’d wanted it to, and it definitely wasn’t going to way Ben had promised me it would. As a self-declared Lothario, he claimed that this was this sort of romantic gesture that never failed to produce results.
Then again, he’s only ever used it on girls. Never world-weary gay teenage boys with the cynicism of men three times their age.
‘Don’t you think Tyson would... Adequately exact revenge if I did anything to hurt or humiliate you?’ I tried to reason with him. I’d been about to be a lot more graphic with the things Tyson has actually told me he’d like to do to me, but then I remembered what Ben had said about being romantic. Alluding to anybody shoving anybody else’s heads up their own asses didn’t really fall into that category.
‘The damage would already be done though,’ Justin said archly. Uncharacteristically astute, I guessed he was being guarded because I’d hurt him with my reaction to finding out his was a boy, because he definitely hadn’t been this defensive pre-kiss.
‘Okay then, but it’s not like you wouldn’t have any ammunition up your sleeve for revenge,’ I bargained, wondering how this had turned into a battle-plan. ‘I was chatting you up all night, and that boy you were just talking to knows it was me. You could, you know, “out me”, or whatever, if this turned out to be some evil torture-the-gay-kid prank. Which it’s not, by the way. I just want to get to know you better.’
‘Why?’ Justin demanded.
I resisted the urge to sigh; he was really going to make me work for this. Then again, I guess I deserved it for being so inadvertently mean to him earlier. And I was technically trespassing on his property. ‘Before I kissed you, when I said I’d started to really like you when we were talking all night – I meant that. I do like you. And the kiss, I mean...’ I brought my gaze up to meet his with some difficulty, ‘it wasn’t exactly awful. You felt it too, right?’ I blinked at him imploringly, hoping he wasn’t going to make me go into anymore soppy detail. Luckily, he threw me a bone.
Lowering his eyes, he muttered reluctantly, ‘Yeah, I did.’
I grinned with relief. ‘Great. So tomorrow at six?’
Justin looked at me for what I swear must have been a full minute before a slow smile spread across his face. ‘Sure. Tomorrow at six.’
Justin
So in the course of a single night, my life has been flipped upside down, it feels. Yesterday morning I was the nerdy closeted kid with the creepy stalker and whose friends were all two years older than him, and today...
Okay, so I’m still that exact same person today, but now I have a date with the hottest guy in town and I’m relatively certain it won’t even end up with me being tied to a fence and tortured and killed.
Even so, I’ve told Nate exactly where I’m going and when to expect me back, and if I’m even sixty seconds late he’s to call Tyson (who, despite his unshakeable asswipe status, will always be my best bet in a scary situation) who will proceed to hunt down and kill Rowan and maybe his entire family, depending on just how angry he is.
Though I hope it won’t come to that.
Rowan Facebook’d me this morning, telling me to meet him at the water tower, which is right on the edge of town and completely abandoned. I know that doesn’t exactly bode well for not-going-to-beat-me-up thing, but it’s not like there aren’t extenuating circumstances. Our schools are bitter rivals so we can’t really be seen together, on top of which we’re both still firmly in the closet (actually I don’t even know what he is, but if it’s gay, then he is definitely in the closet) so going on your regular generic dinner-and-a-movie date isn’t exactly an option.
Still, the water tower? Weird.
Rowan
I know it’s all very cloak-and-dagger, but this date kind of has to be a secret. I haven’t even told Ben or Mitch about it, though I bet Justin told that boy he was with on his balcony. He seems somewhat worried that I’m dangerously homophobic, but I’m not. Obviously.
We live in a pretty middle-of-the-road town; there aren’t a whole lot of strong political or religious beliefs practiced here. People have beliefs, obviously, but they keep them to themselves. There isn’t a whole agenda built on them like in some other places. Our prejudices are built on the high schools’ rivalry more than anything else.
Even so, I can see why Justin hasn’t come out yet. In a town so preoccupied by the trivialities of its teenagers, one of them announcing his homosexuality wouldn’t just make waves, it would be the equivalent of a maritime disaster. Even if there wasn’t going to be a strongly negative reaction, the pressure would probably be overwhelming.
I guess that might be something I’ll have to worry about too, soon. Once I figure things out.
Justin
‘Uh, hey,’ I said awkwardly, coming to a stop a few feet away from Rowan. He had his back to me, staring contemplatively up at the water tower, and turned around like he’d been electrically shocked when he heard my voice.
He got over it though, smiling that heart-stoppingly charming smile and scratching his head. ‘Hey,’ he said, taking a step towards me and then stopping. ‘How are you?’
I eyed him carefully, scanning for signs of my impending doom. He was wearing a white short-sleeved t-shirt that indicated he wasn’t expecting to get any blood on himself – but more importantly, accentuated his defined musculature and contrasted with his light tan.
For my part, I was wearing my usual slightly emo uniform of a checked shirt and skinny jeans, but I’d rolled up the sleeves and worn matching socks, which was the extent of the effort I’d put in.
‘I’m good,’ I said carefully. In the cold light of day and actually being able to see his face, conversation seemed more difficult. I’d have been content to spend the whole evening just looking at him. ‘You?’
‘Yeah, good. Kind of nervous. I’ve never really done this before,’ he added, grinning sheepishly. From anybody else it would have sounded pathetic, but of course from him it was charming and vulnerable. Mentally, I noted I was falling fast.
‘Me neither,’ I admitted, trying to reflect his sheepish grin, but probably failing. ‘Unless you count running away from Parker.’
Rowan seemed to visibly relax at my weak attempt at a joke. ‘That guy is seriously weird,’ he told me, shaking his head. ‘Why don’t you report him? What he’s doing is on the verge of harassment.’
I lowered my eyelids and looked up at him slyly. ‘As opposed to breaking into somebody’s garden and refusing to leave without a date?’
Rowan looked surprised for a second but then grinned. ‘I guess you inspire perseverance.’
‘Lucky me.’
He laughed again. ‘Come on, my car’s over here.’
‘Where are we going?’ I asked curiously, following him around to the far side of the water tower.
‘This little place I know in St Peterstown?’ he said, remotely unlocking the car so I could slide into the passenger seat. He started the car and pulled onto the road. ‘I figured you wouldn’t want to be seen in Verona as much as I don’t.’
I nodded, even though I still felt a tiny bit disappointed. All our reasons for not wanting to be seen together were valid, but there’s always going to be a slight rub when somebody is ashamed of being associated with you.
‘As much as that sucks,’ he added, shooting me a sideways glance with another wry smile. I don’t know if he was conscious of it or whether it was just his natural way, but this boy was like Casanova or something. He could charm a nun into bed.
‘I can’t wait to get out of Verona for good,’ I admitted as we sped towards our neighbouring town.
Rowan raised an eyebrow while still keeping his eyes on the road. ‘Really? I thought your family was really into the hometown thing.’
‘Tyson’s branch of it, yeah,’ I clarified. ‘But he’s just my cousin. My mom and dad, and my brother and I aren’t so committed. I want to go to college somewhere far away from here.’
He nodded understandingly. ‘I’m going to UCLA in the fall. Where were you thinking?’
I just gaped at him. ‘California?’
He glanced at me quickly, grinning. ‘Yeah, I know, two thousand miles away. Couldn’t really get further if I tried, huh?’
I shook my head. ‘It sounds perfect.’
‘You should apply, when it’s time. Do you know what you’d like to study?’
‘What are you going to study?’ I was quickly becoming even more awed by this guy than I’d even been before.
‘Architecture,’ he commented. ‘I hide it well, but I’m good at math.’
‘Wow,’ I breathed, not even bothering to hide how impressed I was. I barely noticed we had arrived in St Peterstown until Rowan pulled the car to a stop outside a discreet coffee shop-cum-restaurant called Laurence’s.
‘We’re here,’ Rowan said lightly, pocketing his keys and getting out of the car. I scrambled to follow him, watching wordlessly as he negotiated for a table in the small but crowded seating area. ‘I think I’m just gonna get a burger,’ he mused once we were seated, like managing to get us a place so quickly wasn’t anything short of incredible. ‘What do you feel like?’
I glanced surreptitiously at the prices, reckoning I’d just go for whatever was cheapest. I hadn’t really come prepared for an evening at a legit eatery. I’d though McDonald’s, at best.
I guess he must have noticed where my eyes had wandered though, because he said casually, ‘And obviously I’ll pay,’ but when I looked at him his eyes were on his own menu and not watching me at all.
Having never been on a date before, I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but common sense had indicated we’d go Dutch. I never thought I’d appreciate a guy treating me like I needed to be taken care of, but when he said that I got a nice warm feeling in my tummy so I decided to go with it, and ordered the lasagne, which was way too expensive for any self-respecting lasagne to be.
‘So what do you want to study when you finish high school?’ Rowan pressed, going back to our earlier conversation.
I shrugged. ‘No idea. I’m not really good at anything.’
Rowan frowned but overlooked it, settling instead on grinning and saying, ‘UCLA have an LGBT Studies program, you could always do that.’
I threw a breadstick at him, laughing. ‘Maybe you should do it as your Minor,’ I suggested. ‘You’re more new to this than I am.’
Rowan grimaced. ‘Point taken. Anyway, there has to be something you’re good at. What do you like doing?’
I shrugged. ‘Reading, watching TV, hanging out... The usual. I’m sixteen. I’m apathetic, naturally.’
Rowan scratched his chin absently. ‘You could be a lawyer,’ he mused, seemingly ignoring my previous comment. ‘Take harassment cases, guys like Parker.’
I laughed it off, joking that nothing so puny as the law could hold off a guy like Parker, but later, when I was home, lying in bed and waiting for sleep, even after what had happened, the idea was still rolling around in my head.
Rowan
‘I’m not letting you walk home from the water tower,’ I said with a hint of finality to my tone as we zoomed right past it. We’d been arguing about it since we left Laurence’s. I think it lent to the sexual tension fizzling in the air. Every time I looked at him I wanted to stop the car and kiss him. ‘It’s dark and your house is five miles away.’
‘Yeah, but if someone sees us we’re both screwed,’ he said anxiously, peering through the windscreen to check if anybody was about. There were several people, but none of them were looking at the car.
I rolled my eyes in response to this. ‘Dropping you home is a lot easier to explain than if we’d actually been seen together. You could say you were hitchhiking and I picked you up before realising you were a Capu-retard,’ I suggested, grinning.
‘Charming,’ he drawled, glancing at me sideways.
I pulled up outside his house and debated momentarily with myself whether to turn the car off or not, but eventually left it running. I didn’t want him to think I was expecting to be invited in or something.
‘Um, thanks for dinner,’ he mumbled, suddenly shy all over again. I couldn’t decide which side I preferred; the shy, adorable version or the abrasive, defensive one which was kind of oddly sexy.
Side-note: starting to look seriously likely that I might at the very least be bi.
‘You’re welcome,’ I said, smiling, and sounding a lot more confident than I felt.
‘I had a really good time.’
‘Me too.’
‘So, um...’ he fiddled with his seatbelt before undoing it. ‘I guess I’ll see you around?’
I pointed towards my cell phone, resting on the dash. ‘I’ve got your number,’ I reminded him.
‘Cool.’ He opened the door and swung his legs out, before turning back and saying, ‘Oh, one more thing.’ And then he leaned across and kissed me.
Maybe I prefer the confident side of Justin after all.
Caught unawares, I made a noise of surprise before slipping my hands around the sides of Justin’s throat, pulling him a little closer and kissing him back. He moved his body back inside the car as our lips moved over each other’s; I ran my thumb across his jawbone and his mouth dropped open, intensifying the kiss as our tongues met with no chance of either of us giving up dominance.
After only a few moments we fell apart, gasping, our foreheads nearly touching. My heartbeat was going crazy.
When I finally opened my eyes, Justin grinned. ‘You better text me,’ he warned, before jumping out of the car and slamming the door.
Justin
I don’t know what hidden reserves of confidence I managed to tap into, but somehow I knew there was no way I could leave that car without kissing him again. In fact, I think I’m going to have to kiss him a lot more. It feels like I may have inadvertently started an addiction.
I walked contentedly through the garden towards the house, musing happily about the date and what might happen if we have another, but stopped short at the sight that greeted me on the porch.
Standing there, a cigarette forgotten in his hand, and staring at me in shock, was my cousin Tyson.
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