Array
(
[text] =>

[It’s getting awkward ya’ll! Vote&Comment!]

 

                                          Chapter 2x7+10-(3x5)

                                                “1+1=6”

 

 

Bigg

 

 

Here’s the thing about Tina.

She is not one of those ditsy, blonde, evil, conniving, whores you read about in those books. She’s not some busty chick with short miniskirts that is the most popular girl in school because of the way she flips her hair. Tina Reigns is by far one of the smartest people in this school.

Is she nice? No. Does that even matter? Not at all. She’s so good at being manipulatively charming and her insults are so covert, that it takes you a while to catch them. That is, unless she's respects your mental capacity and doesn't quite try to hide them.

I have made it a point to never be around when Tina is. Not just because I’ve heard horrific tales of Mario when he’s around her (he goes all heart eyes), but mainly for that reason.

But today, I didn’t have a choice. I had to be around her to scope her out. Getting a reading on her mathematical make-up and predict what she was doing.

I was sitting on the bleachers. It was 4:15, exactly and the rush that the end of the school day brought  had evaporated.

The boys (including Joy) were in the pool for swimming practice and Tina was sitting next to me, albeit at a distance. She said something about germs (which was probably an indirect insult) and folded her legs.

She had started on some American History homework when she started speaking to me.

“I find Abraham Lincoln to be our greatest president,” she said, looking me directly in the eye, subsequently piecing my soul and consequently almost making me shit my pants. “He was so noble…so brave.”

I nodded. Her eyes were really brown. A deep brown that should look ordinary, but on her, they glow. They also matched her chocolate hair that slept on her shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” she chuckled. “I know you’re more of a science guy.”

“Math, to be more specific,” I corrected, trying my hand at being indirectly sassy.

“Oh, The Prince of The Sciences,” she noted. “It’s no physics, but…eh… it’s still good.” She smiled and it almost looked genuine. “A bit too easy for me, though.”

“How so?” I asked, turning to face her, trying to look unmoved. But when you insult Math or say it’s second to…physics (a subject that's very existence depends on mathematical operations and is thus, inferior) you are looking to sign a declaration of war.

“I mean…it’s all just standard stuff. Everything stays the same all the time. There’s no room to redefine things like English, or no new room to find new things like Astrology. It’s all set in stone. Boring. Plain.”

Really? Can she list Pi’s figures up to the 1000th number? I can. Can she solve six simultaneous equations in fewer than 7 minutes? I can. Can she even remember three of the circle theorems? I highly doubt that.

She’s…good.

I had to breathe. I coughed. She was trying to get to me. “Agreed,” I said. She raised a brow. “It’s…so last century. It’s not cool or hip like Astrology. I think we can thank The Fault In Our Stars for that one,” I laughed, factiously.

She nodded with a smile and turned back to the swimmers. I let a breath escape my lungs, but I didn’t allow it out of my mouth. If she had heard me exhaling, she’d know that I was about to pee my pants. Now, she probably saw me as someone formidable. Or maybe she was still playing. Like I said, Tina was…good.

“Okay ladies and Joy!” Coach shouted, blowing his whistle after. “That’s it for the day! Go home! I want you to eat swimming! Sleep it! Drink it! Have dreams about it and meet back here tomorrow at 3:10 sharp!” he blew his whistle again and everyone started getting out of the pool.

Jeremy and Rory got out at the same time, both looking tall and lanky; Jeremy being a bit tan, while Rory looked as if he hadn’t seen the sun in decades. It still amazed me how long and tall he was, especially his mid-section.

“Jeremy is a fine specimen, wouldn’t you say, Price?” Tina offhandedly questioned, flipping through her notebook.

I swallowed. “He’s…not that bad to look at.”

She snorted. The boys and Joy were toweling off and talking. “Get real Price. He’s a peach.” She still wasn’t looking up. “If I weren’t with his best friend…who knows.” She was smirking. “Unless you would prefer yourself to have him?”

“Jeremy’s straight and I’m gay,” I commented, stiffly. Bad move.

“That word gets thrown around a lot these days, doesn’t it?” she said. “But maybe you’re right. He certainly eyes Joy like a straight boy. Shame. I’m pretty sure at least one gay guy has their eye on him.”

Before I could stammer a response, Mario jogged over, hair flopping and smile wide. He hadn’t even dried off properly when he hugged her. Tina, to her credit, giggled and hardly looked moved by getting a bit wet.

Mario’s cheeks were burning red when he finally acknowledged me. “Oh. Hi, Price.” He immediately turned back to Tina. Hearts in his eyes. “I was thinking we could grab something to eat?”

“Um,” she mumbled, “how about later tonight?” she asked. “I’m swamp with school work.”

“Okay,” he said, not even giving her words enough time to die. “I can help you with it if you want.”

She giggled and kissed his nose. I had to hold down my lunch. “That’s okay. Just go home and eat, sleep, drink and dream about swimming, or your coach is going to be pretty pissed.”

Mario nodded with a little giggle of his own. Mario. Giggled. Ew.

Tina jumped down from the bleachers and kissed him again, this time on the lips. “I’ll see you later, babe.”

Mario, to his own credit, didn’t hump her right there (I’ve heard rumors) and released her so she could jogged away.

While he stared as she left, the others came over, still in their swim wear.

Jeremy made it a point to not stand in front of me as usual. That made me slightly frown.

But out of nowhere, Rory filled the space, pushing me knees apart and pushing himself between them. Then he kissed me. For longer than second. The nerve.

Well, I did what any self-respecting gay would do and pushed him the fuck off of me. But before I could slug him in the jaw, I just remembered that oh yeah, we’re fake dating.

Everyone looked stunned, especially Jeremy. I tried to salvage. “You know how I feel about pda, baby,” I said and pulled him closer by the waist of his blue speedos. I pulled him close and hugged him.

I could feel his lips next to my ear. “We have a bit of a problem,” he mumbled, low enough so I was the only one to hear him.

“Yeah we do,” I returned, “if you put your mouth on me again without giving me some sort of signal, I’m going to bite your tongue off and feed it to my cat.” I pushed him back and laughed. He stumbled.

“Oh you,” he laughed, but it sounded strained.

“Okay guys,” Mario said, clapping his hands together. “I’m going to go and take a shower so we could hang out until I meet Tina later.”

We all nodded.

He narrowed his eyes. “You guys coming?”

Joy patted her stomach. "Sorry, uterus. Can't lawfully shower with you."

He gave her a annoyed, but amused, glare before staring at the others. Rory and Jeremy shared a look. “In a minute,” they both said in creepy unison.

Mario, bless his naïve heart, nodded with an eye roll and jogged away, catching up to a few of the other guys.

Rory quickly turned back to the group. “Okay, so are you two positive that Tina is cheating?”

“NO,” I said just as Jeremy gave a stern “YES.”

Joy huffed “Look, if we’re tailing that wily bitch, we’re going to need something concrete.” We all looked at her. She shrugged. “You know that totally false, sexist statement that all women hate each other?" We nodded, warily. "Well, send me to feminist boot camp, because I hate Tina. Tina is literally the worst.”

 “Is she really that bad?” I asked. “I mean, she seems shady, but has she been accused of strangling kittens?”

“I wouldn’t put it passed her…” Jeremy mumbled.

“To put it nicely,” Rory began, “she’s like dipping your little guy in honey, rubbing it in pollen and then wearing a condom filled with bees.”

“Vivid,” I noted.  “Who’s keeping Mario busy?” I asked.

Joy raised her hand. “I asked Susan from Film Studies to help him put together a special 3 month relationship reel for them. I'm going to surprise him with it after he comes back.”

I raised a brow. “That…is a horrible idea. Considering the fact that she might be cheating on him.”

“Yeah Joy, why didn’t you just scream that his girlfriend is fucking some guy into his face and then cut off his balls,” Rory snorted.

Joy pushed the both of us. “Look, it’ll keep him busy all afternoon. All we have to do is follow Tina now and make sure she’s not giving anybody head.”

“Tina hates head,” Jeremy said, more so to himself.

We all stared. He stared back. “Mario told me. She doesn’t swallow either.”

“Okay, this conversation has officially entered Ickeville and it’ll three miles before it reaches on Yuck Town,” Joy commented. She turned to me. “You’re the math genius, what is the statistical probability that Tina’s cheating?”

“Honestly, it’s very low. Tina’s never cheated on any of her old boyfriends, she volunteers at a retirement home and she’s the head of the Student Christian Movement.”

Rory exhaled. “So, she’s torturing old people, probably constantly reminded them that they’ll be dead soon with her perfect chest and probably damning numerous children to Hell. I’d say Tina is probably The Devil.”  

“We have to do this without hurting Mario," Jeremy interjected.

“Not possible,” I argued.

“Why not?” he shot and it sounded a bit angry. His eyes were concentrated on his hands.

I couldn't answer him, so Rory stepped up. “I’m pretty sure if Tina sneezes Jeremy cries at night.”

Joy snorted. “Agreed. Every time he sees her he looks like he’s having an orgasm. When we tell him she’s cheating, he might go into cardiac arrest.”

“Rumors,” I shot. “Don’t tell me you people are as easy to believe a rumor as Jeremy is.”

Speaking of Jeremy, he had yet to properly look me in the eye. This was worrying.

Rory snapped his finger in front of me to refocus. Joy narrowed her eyes, darting them between the two of us. “What’s going on here?” she asked. “I couldn't cut through all of this tension with a hacksaw.”

“It’s nothing,” Jeremy quickly mumbled. “I think I’m going to take a shower.” He didn’t even wait for Rory. He just scurried away.

Joy turned her attention to us. “Has he caught on?”

I lifted my shoulders. I was stumped. “I don’t know.” Maybe he was jealous. Maybe it was working. Could it be? I looked at Rory. “What do you know?”

Rory shrugged. “Nothing.”

 “You’re lying,” I quickly shot back.

Rory smirked and danced a little in place. “Scout’s honor,” he mumbled, putting up a peace sign.

This was going to be a long afternoon.

Tailing Tina, which sounded like a VH1 orignal series, seemed to be easier than I originally thought it would be. Joy was an expert at covertness. It was kind of unsettling.

“You’re a bit too close,” I murmured as we got off the highway when Tina did in her red Cherokee Jeep.  “Try to keep exactly 10 feet from your hood and her bumper.”

“Got it,” she said, and slowed down a bit. She drove with one hand on the wheel and the other, practically carrying our souls. I hoped she was as good as avoiding car crashes as she is at revving the engine.

Thankfully, we arrived at Tina’s destination before Joy killed us all.

Jeremy was the first to jump out, guns blazing as usual. I jumped out after him, and grabbed his arm. I could feel him tense under my touch. I immediately dropped my hand.

He turned to me, looking kind of shocked. “Why did you do that?” he asked.

“Do what?”

“You dropped your hand?” he said, more so than questioned, although it came out sounding like one.

“You flinched,” I murmured.

“No I didn’t,” he replied, but it sounded tense.

“You totally did,” I shot back. “And those are your tense shoulders.”

His eyes crossed. “I don’t have those!”

“And that’s your tense yell,” I commented.

He screeched. “You’re doing this on purpose. Stop trying to make me laugh,” he commanded, although a slight stifled snicker slipped through.

“Stop flirting with my boyfriend,” Rory commented.

We both turned to him. He was tall enough that we could clearly see I'm over the roof of the car.

“Hey, he was mine first,” Jeremy snickered.

Joy closed her car door and eyed the building. We all turned to peer after she did.

A supermarket. The supermarket.

“So,” Rory said after a few breaths of silence, “is she like, going to have sex with him in the dairy aisle or....”

“Let’s go and find out,” Jeremy said. He walked over and grabbed Joy’s hand and started for the front entrance.

I turned to Rory. He shrugged his shoulders.

“I swear, if you know something and you’re withholding it, I’m going to hang you by your scrotal sac,” I threatened.

He held up those two fingers again, “Does a scout’s honor mean nothing.”

“Not when it comes from someone who hates camping.”

He smirked. “Then you’ll just have to trust that I don’t.”

“That’s bullshit,” I retorted. “And you know it. But know this, when I find out and if there is collateral damage, it’s on you.”

He shook his head. “No.” He closed his door. “I’m pretty sure that this one’s on you. And Jeremy.”

Inside the store, we all followed Tina around as she strutted through the aisles with a basket and hummed the bland pop songs that are playing on the radio somewhere in this place. And it’s a big place. Al’s Supermarket is basically Walmart if Walmart didn’t exist.

We all took off in several directions, trying to look as inconspicuously as humanly possible, which isn't so hard since this place is always filled to the brim with busy moms and their snot nose brats, begging for toys (and new laptops).

It wasn’t until she started to compare milk brands that the thought crept up on me that Tina may have just been here to shop, and not secretly meet up with a guy to perform perverse acts near the fruits section.

“This is ridiculous,” I mumbled, after meeting up with the gang. Tina had left. 

“I know,” Jeremy snorted. “She bought soy milk, instead of whole.” He gagged.

“The horror,” Rory dead-panned, earning a glare from Joy.

She sighed. “Then we came all this way for nothing. Great.” She sighed. “She's not cheating then. I’m going to get a candy bar.”

Rory nodded. “I’m coming.” He looked Jeremy and then to me. I couldn't read his expression, but Jeremy seemed to by the way he shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll be back, babe.”

That left Jeremy and I standing in the cereal aisle with a box of Froot Loops and a lot of tension between us. Tension that I didn’t know previously existed on his side. That led me to believe that he knew something.

I wanted to just blurt it out, right here and then. Jeremy plus Price equals an item. But, Holy God. That was both cheesy and horribly timed.

I wanted to ask him what was going on, but then I’d be a horrible hypocrite, seeing as I still hadn’t told him that I was kind of fucking in love with him.

“How long do you think this Froot Loops is going to be on this shelf?” Jeremy asked, out of nowhere. “Mathematically speaking. How long do you think it’ll be before it goes?”

I didn’t have an answer for him. “I don’t know. I give it a day or two.” I got a weird feeling at the pit of my gut. “Before it actually is scooped up by someone else.”

He nodded. And turned to me. “You know, I’m still your Batman.” He swallowed. “I don’t care who you’re seeing. I’m still your Batman.”

I hit him on his chest. He stepped back, and ran his hand through his hair. He was leaning on side of his shoe, exposing the bottom slightly.  “I don’t want you to be my Batman. Everyone he knows dies.” I took a moment. “I’d much rather you be my Jeremy. Now that kid knows how to keep a guy alive.”

“I love you, Peanut Butter.” He opened his arms.

“And I love you......on occasion.” I hugged him. He was still keeping a bit of distance, which was still weird.

He pulled back. “I need to ask you something.”

I swallowed. “Sure?” I didn’t mean for it to sound like a question, but my voice, against my will, shot up at the end of it and made it sound so.

“How long?”

I blinked. “How long what?”

He just stared. He searched my eyes. “You know what I’m talking about, Price.”

Woah. He knew. He knew. Jeremy Smalle knew I was in love with him. But I wasn’t about to admit that in front of a box of Froot Loops. Besides, it took him long enough. I could at least play hard to get for a little while. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He took a moment. Then he nodded. Then he bent down and came closer, so his lips were to my ear. “I know everything, Price Bigg.”

[This story isn't going to be a very long one. Since I originally planned this to be a short summer tale it only has 14 chapters, epilogue included. That means, as you’ve seen over the past two chapters, its shifting into high gear from chapter to chapter and the insanity builds and builds and doesn’t really stop until the very end of the story. The chapter titles, excluding the Final Chapter and The Epilogue titles (too spoiler-y) are at the end of this chapter].

Side note: Did you know the term 'p*nis' gets your story an R-rating? That's right. The scientifc term for a male's ding dong, get's you an R-rating, but, for reasons that escape me, not saying the 'f-word' 3 times, the 'b-word' once, 's-word' twice. Incredible. 

Remaining chapters:

 

10. The Longest Night

11. The Longest Night Squared

12. The Longest Night Cubed

13. Final Chapter

14. Epilogue

[text_hash] => 5aeaff85
)