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A/N: Hey guys, I'm trying to figure a few things out with my writing but since I've been dealing with existential crisis stuff and depression and staying away from self harm it's quite hard. Until I update, here's a thing I wrote after reading a Sterek fanfic called Wanderlust by Cheshyr on AO3 (go check it out, it's awesome). I'm working on a one shot based on that fanfic btw.

Wanderlust-

One day I read a story.

It was about a young man needing to travel.

He lived in a small town and needed to see change

So he traveled.

He went a direction and came back eventually.

He'd be back for school and he'd be there for holidays

But he still ran.

He ran away from the small town

He ran away from a picture frozen in time

He went towards change

New and bigger cities

He ran towards bright lights and small diners.

Eventually, he settles down with a man who makes him want to stay.

He still wants to travel and he still loves it

But he doesn't need it anymore.

I think that's what I want to do.

I want to travel and see the world.

Graduate, get a degree, buy a car and just travel.

I want to get small jobs waiting a diner

Get paid minimum wage and live in my car

I want to stay in one city for a week or two

Then, I want to move on.

I want to see the sun setting in New York

Only to see it rise bright and hot in Barcelona.

I want to feel the wind on my skin

I want to escape.

The world is big, the Universe even bigger.

I can see it.

I can feel it.

I can feel the stars look down on me and ask me to see them from every angle possible.

I look at the world and I see it's all for me.

It's both too big and too small.

I try, sometimes, to imagine getting a degree,

Get a job, a husband or wife maybe.

A kid or two and even a dog.

And I just can't.

To imagine it makes me want to die,

So to live that way would make me depressive,

Closed in,

Trapped like a wild animal in an apartment.

So, instead of being trapped,

I want to escape.

I want to be homeless,

Living off my car

And my minimum wage from a thousand diners.

I want to have complete freedom.

I want to get a tattoo

Or two or three

I want to make mistakes

And live

I want to write a book one day

All about how I wander around

Without a home or a job

Just me and my car and my stupid little jobs all over the world.

Until then, I dream I can.

I dream of seeing places I've never seen before.

I dream of pine forests and rivers

And big cities and sand blocks

I dream of volunteer jobs maybe

And always a different smell

And noise

And language

And culture.

I dream of the world.

I know that one day, I might even see it.

One day, I'll belong to the world

I'll have more friends than not

More knowledge than most.

I'll belong to everywhere

I'll belong to no one

No one place

But everywhere.

And I can't wait for that day.

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