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**Ben Bowers as Jace Makreno**

*Jace's POV*

Okay, so it was no secret. I was an idiot.

So maybe I wasn't a thorough thinker, but I meant no harm. I believed that letting Nolan date Shane would do him some good, and I still stood on that. It wasn't about me. I was putting him first just as he put me and my sister before himself so many times. The problem was, was this causing him more pain than happiness? Did he ever need Shane?

He did have issues with those panic attacks. With Shane, those problems had subsided. Did they totally disappear? No, but I didn't expect them to.

I groaned and pulled at the tufts of my front hair, sinking my head further into my pillow. Shane and I had been through a lot before I was whisked away to Louisburg. I was just getting used to being openly gay and showing him off as my boyfriend when my father popped up out of nowhere after my homecoming game to tell me he wanted Gwen and I to move with him.

I thought I wouldn't get to see Shane as often as I'd like, and that made it slightly easier to let him date Nolan. Now I see for sure that I was utterly wrong about that. All I had to do was call, and he'd be here as soon as he could. I felt like a sort of wasted a year on my part, as selfish as that sounded. Who knew how much my relationship could have grown with the person I deeply loved, the person who still drove me crazy when I thought about him.

But Nolan had texted me earlier, saying that he'd never been so happy in his life. So, yes. Some good did come out of all this mess. I made my best friend happy, and that made me happy as well.

Was I willing to hurt him by making Shane mine again? Do I sacrifice his happiness for my selfishness?

I reached over to my bedside table, grabbing my phone off its charger when I heard it vibrate and beep.

I unlocked the screen and a message from Shane popped up.

Cooled down? I hope I didn't say something to hurt you >.<

I slowly smiled to myself, swiping my thumbs across the keypad of my iPhone.

Well, you didn't fail to remind me I'm an idiot, but only because it's true. No, seriously, I'm okay. You didn't do anything.

With a sigh, I pressed send and awaited his response. It came just a few seconds later.

Shane/ But you know all you have to do is say it. Say you want to be with me and we'll be together.

My eyebrows pulled together.

And Nolan?

Shane/ we'll figure it out.

Me/ It'll crush him.

Shane/ Not to sound like a total d-bag, but... Jace, you come before anyone else. You can look after Nolan all you want, but for me - right now, this is about you.

Me/ Shane...

Shane/ Jace...

I sucked in a breath, and shut my eyes briefly. Just say it. Think about how you feel right now, I thought to myself.

Me/ I want to be with you. I want you back.

Shane/ Okay. Tomorrow, seven in the evening. I'll come pick you up.

Jace/ Wait, what? Why?

Shane/ So we can tell Nolan. We just have to take it easy. I have to go, sleep tight. I'll see you tomorrow.

What? I pondered over it for what seemed like forever before picking my phone back up.

Me/ Shane!

I assumed he had gone to bed because there was no reply. It seemed as if there really wasn't a need to figure it out anymore. It seemed that Shane already planned how this was going to happen, and all he was waiting for was my cue: I want to be with you.

I dropped my phone on the bed and dragged my hands down my face with a groan.

The thought of Shane practically dumping Nolan for me made guilt crawl up my spine.

I was such an idiot.

A knock came at my door and I rolled my eyes. "Come in!"

The door opened and Dad entered.

"Oh, it's you."

He tilted his head to one side. "Don't sound too happy to see me."

Well, the memories of you getting drunk while Mom hurt us wasn't so hard to get rid of, I thought.

"What is it, Dad?" I sat up lazily as he came to sit near me on the bed.

I trusted my dad now, but it sure as hell was quite a process. He did take the blame for not getting us away from our abusive mother much sooner, but he also explained that she knew too much about him. That fact alone scared him into staying in the marriage before he realized his children came before his reputation, if that was what he feared.

I remember him crying, saying he loved us so much and it was a heartbreaking sight. I forgave him. I had to. It occurred to me that he was a prisoner of that woman just as much as Gwen and I were.

As for that monster I had to call Mom, I was fortunate to say she lost our big house because she couldn't pay for it on her own. She now lived in a small apartment, alone, and came to realize that we weren't worthless. The woman called to apologize and I gave her a piece of my mind. It felt great being able to do that and not have her break glass against my head afterwards, or lock the fridge.

"I was with Joanna tonight," Dad explained his whereabouts. "She's an incredible woman."

"Yeah, you've said that... A couple... million times." I nodded as he grinned.

"She's special, ain't she?" He chuckled, slapping my knee. "What about you?"

"Oh, you mean my life? Well." I shrugged. "I'm a hormonal teenager going through mixed stress. Emotional stress, sexual stress- ugh, Dad, can we not talk about this?" I fell back onto my bed.

"What?" He gaped at me. "You can talk to your old man any time, Jace."

"You wouldn't get it."

Dad smiled at me and sighed. "I've dated a man once."

I shot back into a sitting position. "You're lying to me. What did you do to my father?"

Dad shook his head. "I'm not kidding, Jace. I've been with a man for 8 months before."

My hand flew to my chest. "So you never hated gays?"

"Oh! No, no. Your mother does and she'd give me headaches trying to convince me it was wrong."

"Were you convinced?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Not at all. I had my own views of things, Jace. Honestly, the man and I had an exciting relationship. So, tell me. What's really on your mind?"

"Um... You know how Shane's dating Nolan? Yeah, we kinda wanna get back together as soon as we can but, there's still Nolan's feelings to consider here so... Shane doesn't seem to care anymore. He's already got it planned, I think."

Dad hummed gently with a nod, assuring me he was listening. "Well, I'm not gonna tell you to listen to your heart, because I think that's what you've been doing this entire time."

"So what? Listen to my brain instead?"

"God, definitely not."

"That leaves me to listen to my dick, and it only knows one language, soo... What are you saying, Dad?"

"Jace, are you only considering Nolan's feelings in this?"

"Um... I guess? I don't wanna hurt him."

"Don't you think you should... Think about someone else's feelings as well?"

I bit my lip. "Who, mine?"

Dad blew out a sigh and stood up. "Think about it, son." He slapped my back.

I have been thinking about it! For a long ass time!

"Get some sleep."

"Goodnight, Dad," I quietly replied. "Thanks."

He slipped out of my room and gently closed the door. I huffed, switched off the lamp light, and buried myself in the clouds of my blanket.

I love you, Shane.

*******

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