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*Jace's POV*
"Is it bad that I feel like a total jerk? I mean, I do deserve to feel this way."
I had just come from the hospital where I visited Nolan, and I decided to go to Shane's house as well. It'd be dumb of me not to see him and tell him how I felt.
"No, you don't, Jace. You don't deserve to feel bad, and stop blaming yourself."
I heaved a sigh. "I was going to stop him from walking home, I promise. But I was so speechless when apologized for being a burden to us."
I watched Shane's expression convert into a confused one. "He said that?"
"Yeah," I responded. "He isn't a burden in any way! I should've told him that and stopped him, but I was so shocked." I laid down on his pillow. "I hate these mistakes I've been making."
"Jace, stop." He wrapped his arms around me. We were silent for a bit before he spoke again. "Do you think it was an accident?"
"Of course it wasn't, Shane."
His head snapped up. "I didn't expect you to say that."
"Well, maybe it wasn't exactly intentional. He could've acted on impulse and regretted it later... kinda like how I feel about this whole situation. Or, at least, his belief that he's a burden to us played a role and like he told you, he got frustrated. I guess he just wasn't thinking right."
He contemplated everything I told him and sat up, leaning over me a bit. "You know Nolan better than a lot of people. I need your help," he said to me.
I nodded, pulling a look of concern.
"I had a conversation with Elaine, and she mentioned that she wants Nolan to have someone entirely new. By that, she meant, she wants him to fall in love with..." He
shrugged. "Someone who's a mystery to everyone else but him, if I can say that."
"Okay," I understood, nodding for him to continue.
"I really don't know the right way to put this. All I can say is that maybe Nolan fell for me because he saw how much I loved you. Maybe he wanted the same love with me. Does that sound remotely true?"
I thought about it and sank further into his arms. "I get what you're saying. But, Shane, you seem to really hate the fact that Nolan is in love with you. You're looking for any way to explain why he feels this way, and you're no psychologist. You don't know how
his mind works, what he's feeling, or how deep his emotions run for you."
"So I should just let it go, huh?" He let me go and slid off the bed. "I was only trying to figure it out."
"Shane -"
"No, it's fine. I'm wrong. I'm gonna make dinner for my parents. I'm supposed to help Darren."
He walked out of his room, leaving me on the bed. I hadn't meant to make him upset, but what he said was absurd. I heard the doorbell ring and I rolled over, getting up from the bed.
I went downstairs and stopped in the living room where I saw Shane heading to the front door. He looked through the peephole before opening it.
"Hi, Justin," he greeted, letting Nolan's older brother into the house. Someone else was with him, who looked the same age, but I'd never met him before.
"Hi, Shane. Uh, this is my friend, Asher. Sorry I didn't call. We were driving near here, and I just decided to stop by."
"No, it's fine. You can sit down. Did you need to talk? How's Nolan?"
I stood behind the wall and listened.
"He'll be home tomorrow evening," Justin informed.
"That's great. Can he talk right now?"
"He hasn't bothered to, which is perfectly fine. His throat was irritated when they put the tube in, so, we understand. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something."
"Okay."
Justin sighed. "I love my brother a lot, and I've always been super protective of him. I have no problem with him dating a boy, I seriously don't care. But I've noticed that being with you is hurting him. It's not you; I'm not blaming you, but..."
Shane put up his hands. "I completely understand. I shouldn't have put him through all this while I'm still in love with someone else. But, I promise, it was an open relationship. We're broken up."
Justin slowly nodded. "Alright, Shane. I just want him to be with someone that loves him just as much as he loves them."
"I want that for him, too."
"Good. I see we're on the same page then. I'm happy you care about him. He cares about you a lot, so please be there for him at least. That's all I ask."
"Of course," Shane agreed.
"Alright." Justin stood up, and his friend, Asher, with him. "We'll be on our way. Sorry to bother."
"Not at all." Shane stood up and walked them to the door. I moved out from behind the wall and caught up with Justin, taking him and Shane a bit by surprise.
"Hey, Justin," I greeted with a wide smile.
"Jace, didn't know you were here."
"I actually drove down here to see Nolan, then I came here."
Justin smirked. "He must've been happy to see you."
"He was. I was talking to him then he fell asleep on me, so yeah. He was quite happy."
We laughed. "Um, can I talk to you in private?" I took him further outside, leaving Asher behind with Shane at the door.
I led Justin to his car and let go of him, taking a breath. "It wasn't Shane's fault. At all. A year ago, before I left for Louisburg, I told him to date Nolan because I had this idea in my head that it would be for the best. Shane warned me that it was risky, and even Nolan warned me. But I didn't listen. I mean... Nolan was always thinking about Dawn Hempner and he had panic attacks all the time. So I thought if he was with Shane, he'd be better, you know. He'd move on." I shrugged. "Now everything's gone to shit. Shane and I are back together, but I feel... like a total jerk about everything. Nolan's in the
hospital, and Shane might be sick of me by now."
Justin shook his head. "He's not sick of you, Jace. Even I know that's not true."
"How do I fix this?" I didn't have a biological big brother to talk to, but Justin was a brother to me. In fact, so was Nolan. I wasn't so sure if I could come to my Dad for things like this, even if he claimed to have dated a man himself.
"Jace, you don't fix this. Don't do anything, at all," was Justin's piece of advice.
I squinted. "And why not?" I probed for an elaboration.
"Because there is nothing in this world that you have control over. That's the problem with some people. I mean, sure you have control over certain situations, just like how I came here to tell Shane about Nolan. But you know what, if Nolan still wanted to be with Shane, I can't stop him. What I want you to realize is, if you made a mistake, don't try to fix it. You're gonna end up making more. Instead, you learn from it. If there are people you hurt in the process, then yes, you can fix your relationships with them or amend a friendship and so on." Justin shook his head. "Let the pieces fall where they may. Just
don't try to pick them up. It's not in your hands."
I nodded. "Yeah, okay. So I just... stop coming up with ways to help Nolan?"
Justin sighed. "If he wants your help, he'll come to you. Obviously, if you see him overdosing or passed out, please help the guy but otherwise..."
I chuckled and huffed. "Right. Thanks." I smiled and he slapped my back.
"He'll be okay."
Justin and I looked towards the door to see Shane and Asher having a light conversation, it seemed.
"Friends already," Justin remarked. I smiled.
"At least Shane's better. He used to be depressed."
"Really?" Justin raised a brow at me.
I nodded. "He wants to work with kids one day. Kind of like a counselor or therapist, so he's gonna major in psychology in college. I'm actually glad he had that experience. Now that he's
doing well, that'll help him understand other people."
"Ash!" Justin called out. His friend turned and nodded once before shaking hands with Shane, who seemed to be in a lighter mood all of a sudden.
Asher approached us and we shared smiles before he got in the car with Justin and drove off. I walked back to Shane and we went inside together.
"Well, you look happy," I observed as he shut and locked the door.
He sighed. "Seriously, is it weird for Shane Cooper to smile?" he asked as if he'd been through this countless times.
"No, but you were upset with me, so I - I just..." I wrung my hands. "I thought I made you mad."
He came closer to me and held my hips. "I'm not mad at you, love. I don't think I can be mad at you for more than five seconds."
"But you were upset."
"Just me being stupid and immature. What you said was right. I'm not mad."
"Clearly."
Shane smirked. "Is it wrong to fall in love with a picture?"
I arched an eyebrow. "What? Why?"
"That's what Asher asked me."
I frowned. "I don't get it. Why'd he ask that?"
Shane slowly smiled and my eyes widened.
"No way," I breathed out.
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