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Carson had his hands folded awkwardly in his lap as he sat next to Josiah. They had been in Ayden’s hospital room for about fifteen minutes now. The crying had stopped a little while ago, and now all three men were sitting in silence as they watched Ayden.

The atmosphere felt so dismal that Walt didn’t even know what to say. Josiah felt hollow like never before, and Carson couldn’t keep his eyes off of his best friend.

So when the blonde girl finally stirred and groaned quietly, he jumped almost out of his seat. Josiah instantly sat up straighter and snapped his eyes onto his girlfriend. Walt watched the boys’ reactions in amusement.

Ayden slowly blinked her eyes open and lazily turned her head from the ceiling over to her father. The man smiled and gave a little wave. Ayden twitched her lips slightly in return but she felt too tired to give much more than that.

Walt lifted a hand and pointed to Ayden’s side. “You’ve got more visitors, Ayd,” he said softly.

Ayden blinked and slowly turned her head to see what her father was talking about. She couldn’t help the grin that plastered itself onto her face when she saw Josiah and Carson sitting there. She almost wanted to cry, she was so happy to see them.

The blonde looked right past the haunting looks laying underneath the boys’ awed faces. She just couldn’t believe they were there right then. Ayden loved them both more than almost anything, and to see the confirmation that Carson was alright despite whatever it was that had happened to him, made everything that she had gone through worth it.

“I’m so glad you guys are here,” she said quietly. Her voice was tired, but nobody took notice of it. “I love you guys.”

Josiah and Carson both reached for the girl’s hand that wasn't attached to her broken arm at the same time. They paused somewhat awkwardly for a second, but Carson pulled back first and let Josiah grab his girlfriend’s hand.

“I love you too,” Josiah said earnestly. He raked his eyes over Ayden’s face, focusing on her dulled green eyes. “God, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Ayden smiled weakly at the black-haired boy, but then looked to Carson. “Hey, Car.”

Carson bit his lips in a futile attempt to stop the bright grin from attacking his face. “Hey. ‘Bout time you woke up, huh? We’ve been waiting to see you for ages.”

Ayden couldn’t help the tiny laugh, and she quickly winced from the pain the movement caused. Josiah tensed up, and Carson’s face fell. Ayden shook her head. “It’s okay. Sucks I can’t even laugh. I feel like I’m in prison.”

"Don't worry," Walt said, jumping back into the conversation. He smiled fondly at the kids in front of him. "You'll be better and out of here in no time, sweetheart."

Ayden grinned at her father, thankful that he was able to be so positive in a time like this. Josiah desperately wanted to believe what Walt was saying, but he was finding it difficult. He wasn't normally pessimistic, but he definitely didn't want to get his hopes up just to have them squashed. For now he decided he was going to focus only on the moment and not on the past or future.

"Your ear is cut," Ayden quietly pointed out. Her eyes were locked on Carson. Every other person in the room besides her froze at her observation. The blonde narrowed her eyes feeling considerably confused. "How did that happen?"

Carson stopped breathing and turned wide eyes onto Walt who was standing stiffly. Clearly he was uncomfortable with this turn of conversation just as much as the others were.

Josiah felt his heart dislodge itself from his chest and drop down into his stomach. After the last two--nearly three--days since this whole fiasco Josiah was beginning to recognize the sensation and gain a familiarity with it. He didn't particularly appreciate it, but it was what it was.

What was most painful was the realization that Ayden didn't know a thing about what Carson had been through. Josiah felt angry because of this. Carson was just starting to get better, and Ayden was awake. Having yet to fill her in on the past events felt like a major setback to all the progress they had made.

"Daddy?" Ayden asked, staring at her father, when nobody answered her for almost a minute.

Carson stared at Walt in amazement. "She really doesn't know?"

Walt had a very deep frown on his face as he glanced between three varying expressions on the young adults' faces. At this point he wasn't sure who he was most worried about. They were all pretty equally traumatized in their own respects.

"No," Walt said to the brunette. "She hasn't been awake long enough for one sitting yet to really tell her anything."

Ayden stared between the three men before she settled on her best friend. "Carson, what happened to you that night? I never got to find you...Josiah, you found him, right?"

Josiah's throat was locked shut so all he could do was nod. He avoided looking at anyone's face. He didn't want to show just how upset he was because he knew it wouldn't be any help.

Ayden slightly scrunched her eyebrows together. She didn't understand why the three most important men in her life were being so distant and quiet. The blonde looked at her best friend again. He looked fine to her. Minus the bruising she was now noticing more of on the side of his head and the cut on the top of his ear, Ayden couldn't figure out what had happened to him the other night that had caused him to call her in such a desperate state.

"Carson?" Ayden tried again in a small voice.

Walt spoke before anyone else and pushed himself off of the wall. He looked down at the boys when he said, "I'm gonna leave the room for a little bit so you can talk comfortably. I'll be in the hall if you need me."

Josiah nodded in recognition on Carson's behalf. The brunette was fidgeting in his seat at the older boy's side. Carson fidgeted in his seat. Walt quietly slipped out of the room, leaving the younger adults to it.

Josiah held his hand out and Carson took it after hardly a second's worth of hesitation. Ayden watched on, completely baffled as to what was going on in front of her. She had no idea why her dad would need to leave the room. And she didn't like how upset and retreated Carson had become. The blonde didn't think she had ever seen her best friend act quite like this.

In a hushed tone so only Carson could hear, Josiah said into the younger boy's ear, "Are you okay?"

Carson didn't know whether to tell the truth or to lie. So he went with the latter, knowing the darker boy wouldn't buy it anyway, and nodded slightly. He kept his blue eyes planted firmly on his wringing hands in his lap.

Again, Josiah whispered, "Do you want me to...start telling her? Or you don't have to say anything."

Carson wanted to keep it a secret. He didn't want to put this kind of thing on his best friend's mind. But he also knew that if he didn't, she would be extremely hurt as well as confused which would leave her upset either way.

Ayden watched on, fascinated, as Josiah whispered to Carson. She couldn’t hear the words, but she knew that whatever it was, was making her best friend sad. She really just didn’t understand, and the confusion was starting to frustrate her.

Carson turned his head to look at Josiah, who barely moved back in time so that they wouldn’t smash their noses against each other’s. The brunette studied the sullen face of the other boy and then settled his gaze in the sage-green orbs that seemed to have lost most of their usual glamour. Carson almost couldn’t stand it. He had always loved those eyes so much. He thought they were enticing and beautiful. The way you could easily got lost in them because of how they were only shades away from being lighter than his brown skin, Carson had always found amazing.

But now they seemed dull and vacant. Like he had seen too much or just the wrong things one too many times. Carson briefly wondered if his indigo eyes were less bright than before. He surely thought he had been through enough to do so. Then again, maybe it was somehow not taking the same toll on him as it did Josiah. Not for the first time Carson wondered if there was something wrong with him for not being more upset and haunted for what he had endured firsthand.

Shoving the thoughts aside, Carson quietly said, “You can.”

Josiah raked his eyes over the younger boy’s pale face. “Are you sure?”

Carson nodded, still not breaking his gaze from light-green eyes. Josiah made an effort to quirk his lips into a consoling smile, but when he realized it was failing, he squeezed the brunet’s hand. The black-haired boy turned back to Ayden and started to speak, hesitantly but clearly at first and then shakily as he delved into deeper and harsher waters.

As the words and explanations came out, all three of them reacted in different ways. Ayden was shocked, disgusted, and upset as she heard it all for the first time. Carson couldn’t look at anyone and he seemed as though he were trying to become invisible--like he didn’t want to be a person anymore. Josiah choked everything down as the emotions flew at him. It almost hurt him the most just to see how his friends were doing.

The mental shutdown of Carson and the physical anger and sadness from Ayden were confusing the twenty-one year old. He didn’t know who to comfort first or how to go about it. Josiah felt like he was in limbo, torn between the two. He remembered telling Carson that staying with him in South County had been the toughest decision he had ever had to make. As he relayed everything that Ayden had missed, Josiah felt like he was going through the stay-or-go process all over again.

Walt tried not to listen to what was going on inside the room. He really put forth an effort and even tried to put more distance between himself and the door to his daughter’s hospital room. But it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t block out the sound of Ayden’s tears or the deep voice from Josiah that was spitting out words Walt hadn’t fully heard before.

Of course Walt knew what had happened to Carson, but not in such abundant or colourful words. To hear it secondhand from Josiah, drifting out into the hallway, put everything into a whole new perspective for the forty-three year old. He knew that those three kids on the other side of that door had already been through way more in half of Walt’s lifetime than he had ever gone through at all.

*

Ayden was one part astonished and two parts horrified after she heard everything Josiah had to say. She honestly hadn’t known what to expect when discovering the reason Carson had been calling for help the other night, but somehow finding out it was that bad, made her feel degrees of anger and protectiveness she never had before.

As Ayden laid in bed, thinking back on everything she had learned, Carson was asleep on the big chair next to her, and Josiah finally took a shower in her adjoining bathroom. His hair was matter terribly and he could almost feel the dirt being washed away from his skin.

Josiah’s mother had actually shown up a few hours earlier, while the three of them were talking. Lanai had talked with the other parents for a little while before Josiah and Carson finally left Ayden to sleep alone in her room. Lanai teared up as she drew her son into her arms for a tight hug. She couldn’t believe all of this was happening to the people she knew and were related to.

Josiah was actually a lot more relieved to see his mother than he thought he would have been. Her face was a sight for sore eyes and he realized just how much he loved and missed her. Before this incident, he hadn’t been home to see he his parents for more than a month, and neither had his two friends. Josiah was aware of exactly how awful it was that this was what brought them all together for one giant reunion.

Seeing and talking to his mother had also been the kickstart he had needed to take care of himself fully. Sure he had been eating just fine, but the sleep was nearly nonexistent and the personal hygiene was at an all time low. Lanai knew asking her son to leave the hospital for any time at all was out of the question, but she insisted that she run home and get some things for Josiah to get cleaned up with. So forty-five minutes later, Lanai was back with a bag of his clothes he kept at his parents’ home, shower gel and shampoo, and a toothbrush and toothpaste.

Josiah wanted to hug his mother and never let her go when he received all of the things she had brought for him. He had almost never felt so thankful in his life. It all just made him not want to take even the most basic of things--like having two parents, a place to live, and food to eat--for granted ever again. Josiah now considered himself lucky to be alive and relatively healthy.

When Josiah eventually stepped out of the shower, everything was quiet. He rubbed at his frizzy curls with one hand holding the towel. The brown-skinned boy leaned his shoulder against the doorway and crossed the arm over his torso. Despite having taken a shower and feeling fresh and clean, the black-haired boy blinked lazily as he took in the sight before him.

Ayden was now asleep in her hospital bed while Carson was snoring quietly from the cushy red chair in the corner. Josiah smiled sadly at his friends. He never thought he would be in a situation like this and he found himself having no idea how to handle anything. He liked to think he was doing things right--he was watching Carson like a hawk, he was trying to be there for his girlfriend as much as he was allowed, and he was putting others before himself.

Yeah, Josiah thought to himself. I’ve gotta be doing this right. What more could I even do?

Growing suddenly irritated with himself for a reason he could not define, Josiah shook his head and pushed away from the doorway. He put the towel in the little designated basket and then silently walked to the door leading to the hallway.

After triple checking to make sure that his friends were safe and still sleeping as peacefully as possible, Josiah gently pulled the door open and slipped out into the hall. Just as he started to walk down the hall with his hands stuffed in his front pockets of his jeans, Walt turned the corner.

"What's up?" Josiah asked as the two got closer to each other.

“Your dad just got here,” Walt said with a polite smile. “He’s in the lounge with the rest of them.” Josiah nodded and Walt pointed down the hall to where the twenty-one year old had just come from. “How are they?”

Josiah shrugged and sighed. “Ayden took the news about Carson pretty hard, but I think she’ll be okay. She just needs some time to adjust to it--like I did.”

“And Carson?”

Josiah shook his head as the memory of Carson’s catatonic-like state came back to him. The sage-eyed boy hated seeing his best friend like that. Carson wasn’t normally that loud of a person, but Josiah had never seen the brunet act so reserved. Now that he was seeing that type of behaviour in his friend, Josiah wanted to do anything he could to reverse it. The only problem was that he didn’t know how, and that made him feel utterly incompetent. All he wanted was to keep the younger boy safe. He promised himself he would try his best to do so.

“I don’t know,” Josiah said slowly. “Carson’s been...strange. He was fine the last couple days, but as soon as we had to tell Ayden, he kind of closed up on us. It’s scaring me a little.”

Walt patted Josiah’s back, wishing there was a way to pull the kids out of their gloom. “He might just need somebody to talk to about what happened. There’s been so much going on, he hasn’t given himself a chance to cope with his attack.”

Josiah turned exasperated eyes on the older man. “I’ve tried but he doesn’t want to talk to me about it!”

Walt smiled sadly. “Josiah, maybe he needs someone who can offer him more.” At the younger boy’s confused look, he said, “I mean like a therapist or something.”

“What?” Josiah asked, taken aback. “No, he doesn’t--he’s not a nutcase.”

Walt sighed. “I know that, but he is a rape victim. He can’t just keep it bottled up. No matter how fine he tries to pretend he is, you know better. All it takes is one look at him and you can tell how much guilt and pain he’s harbouring.”

Josiah bit his lip and looked away. He didn’t know why, but the thought that Carson could talk more easily to someone that wasn’t him hurt a little. It made him feel inadequate. For some reason he never thought that he wouldn’t be enough for Carson.

Growing up, Josiah hadn’t had to deal with rejection that often. He was likeable, good-looking, and kind to everyone. Friends and family never doubted anything he wanted to do and he had never been told he wasn’t good enough for something or someone. So he just assumed that when it came to the two friends--his only friends--that he had now, he would always be able to give them everything they needed in hopes that they wouldn’t have to look elsewhere.

Knowing that Carson didn’t need him for this--something so crucial and life-changing--made Josiah kind of feel like he was disappointing or unworthy. But at the same time, it made him want to prove himself all the more. Josiah suddenly felt like he needed to redeem himself, as if he needed to step up his game and put even more effort into taking care of the blue-eyed boy.

“It’s not healthy for him, kiddo,” Walt said softly. “He needs some help.”

Josiah’s hand instinctively went up to his hair and he started tugging on the wet tufts of curls. Sharply, he said, “Yeah, I got it.”

“Jos--”

The black-haired boy groaned and said, “Look, just--I’m gonna go talk to my parents for a little while.” He sighed gruffly and gestured towards the room where his friends were sleeping. “Will you just sit with them for me?”

Walt pursed his lips and nodded. He wasn’t exactly pleased with the way Josiah was acting, but he understood that it was a result of all the stress he was suffering with.

Josiah gave the older man a serious look. “Call me if you need anything.”

Walt nearly rolled his eyes as the twenty-one year old was now acting so much like a paranoid parent. “I will.”

Josiah nodded and started to take a step in the opposite direction. He turned around quickly and said. “And call me when Carson wakes up,” he said hastily.

Walt stopped and turned around to face Josiah with an odd look on his face. “What?” he asked, voice barely hinting amusement.

“I said--” Josiah cut himself off as he realized his slip of the tongue. He furrowed his brows at his own behaviour. He waved a hand at Walt’s aware expression. “I said call if they wake up.”

“Right.”

Josiah scowled. “Whatever, you know what I meant.”

Walt nodded. “Mhm.”

Josiah grabbed for his dripping curls again and turned on his heel. Walt watched the brown-skinned boy walk away purposefully, his hand obsessively scratching at his scalp and pulling at his hair. Walt shook his head, not quite sure what to make of the twenty-one year old.

After a moment he sighed tiredly and thought, Kids these days.

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