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Carson sighed heavily as he pushed through the back door of the building. He ripped his Dunkin’ Donuts uniform hat off and ran his hand through his sweaty hair as he walked to his car. The summer’s heat had been unbearable so far that season and by the end of July Carson had a nice tan to his usually pale skin.

Normally he enjoyed his summers, but this year had been awful unlike any others. At first it had sucked because his best friend was in a coma, but then it got worse when he had to lose his other best friend who had also become his boyfriend for a short month. Then, said boyfriend had to go and tell his girlfriend everything so now she wasn’t speaking to Carson either. But then you had to add on that he got stuck working at Dunkin’ Donuts in his hometown because his parents wanted him to do something productive with his days.

Oh yeah, Carson thought as he cranked the air conditioner in his borrowed car, this summer sucks.

He almost hadn’t believed that Josiah actually told Ayden about them when he got the angry text from his blonde best friend. It hadn’t been lengthy, but it used a few choice words that had left him stunned and horrified. The easiest way to put it was that Ayden was royally pissed off and wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

Of course Carson knew that the only way she could have found out was if Josiah had told her, so he’d called the guy up that night only for them to end up yelling at each other over the phone for ten minutes. They both said some hurtful things, but Carson had ultimately been unwilling to forgive the man he loved for telling Ayden about them without consulting him first.

For over a month, the brunet had let his anger of having lost his oldest best friend simmer and stew inside him. He had vented about it all so many times to both of his parents and, yes, even his therapist the one time he went back to see her. Carson had spent the rest of June ignoring all calls and texts that Josiah sent him to try and reconcile their relationship or friendship, but the truth was that when Josiah stopped trying, Carson only felt empty.

He was so tired of being bitter and angry, but he felt stupid and childish for how he had simply cut off Josiah because he was upset. For the last two weeks, Carson had been snappy at work and lazy and mopy at home. He really felt lovesick because he virtually had no one to hang out with or talk to besides his parents.

At night when he laid in his bed, tossing and turning in his sticky and sweaty sheets because his air conditioner was defective, he couldn’t stop his mind from replaying the highlights reel of when he was on speaking terms with his best friends. The truth of the matter was that he wanted Josiah back in his life, and he wanted Ayden back too. He just didn’t know if either of them would ever forgive him.

The way Carson saw it was that if he ever figured out how to swallow his pride and apologize for everything he had done wrong in the last couple months, he would be a million times happier than he was currently feeling. Because honestly, he was pretty miserable. The biggest problem, though, was that he didn’t know how to man up and beg for forgiveness, which was why he was stuck in limbo for the time being.

*

Josiah was jolted awake when a large weight jumped on him. The heavy paw pressing down on the middle of his chest didn’t help. He groaned and wheezed while his German Shepherd panted in his face. The man used his hands to push the dog away and slowly sat up.

“Christ, Milfred,” he complained, glaring at his dog.

Milfred only barked happily and Josiah shook his head. He yawned loudly and stretched out his arms. The early August sun was filtering into his room and falling across his face. He squinted so that he wasn’t blinded and slowly dragged himself off of his bed.

Josiah made his way to the bathroom to do his morning routine while his dog followed him around begging for breakfast.

“Yeah, yeah,” the man muttered to Milfred, heading to the kitchen.

Josiah picked up the empty dish on the floor and took it over to the bag of dog food. He filled the large bowl and brought it back to its usual place, setting it on the tiled floor. In a second Milfred had his muzzle in the bowl, chomping hungrily down on his food. The man sighed and scratched the German Shepherd behind his ears a few times before going to make his own breakfast, sulking the whole time.

For the last month and a half, Josiah had been torturing himself almost daily. He missed Carson like crazy--Ayden as well--and by the end of the first week after the breakup, Josiah had been so lonely that his parents suggested he take Milfred in for a while.

The man had to admit that he loved having the dog there to fill some of the void. He thought it was nice to have a sense of responsibility having to look after Milfred and needing to take him on walks--because that at least got him out of the small apartment a couple times a day--but even so, it all still wasn’t enough.

Josiah felt like an idiot for how things had gone, and felt even worse for how he handled it all. He knew that back in June he should have never told Ayden everything without talking to Carson first. He also knew that he shouldn’t have let his and Carson’s phone call escalate into such an appalling argument that night.

It had been just two and a half weeks since he had finally stopped trying to contact Carson--ultimately realizing that the brunet honestly didn’t want anything to do with him. It had taken a long time for that bit of information to actually sink into Josiah’s brain, but once it finally did, he felt even worse than before. He couldn’t believe how depressing it was that they were actually over.

The problem, though, was that Josiah still couldn’t fully let the other guy go. He thought about Carson constantly, admittedly had a handful of sweet dreams about the brunet, and inflicted torture on himself by doing things that strictly reminded him of the younger man.

When Josiah cooked breakfast most mornings, he had Carson’s favourites--scrambled eggs and pancakes with peanut butter. Some afternoons when Josiah was feeling exceptionally sappy and self-loathing, he would settle down on the sofa where the brunet had slept so many times and watch Carson’s favourite Disney movie, The Lion King.

At dinner sometimes, he would “accidentally” set down an extra plate at the table and decide he was too lazy to put it away again. And at night before he went to bed, Josiah let his thoughts run wild and replay all of the beautiful memories he had in that short month of them being together as if he were watching a movie on repeat that he couldn’t turn off.

He would eventually drift off into sleep with a sad smile on his face only to wake up in the morning feeling cold and wishing that the pillow wrapped in his arms was the warm body of that sassy brunet he loved so much. Then, as awful as it was, the routine would start all over again; a never ending cycle of torment and wistful longings.

All he wanted was for Carson to give him another chance, but as the summer had proven thus far, that was never going to happen.

*

“It’s been nearly two months.”

Ayden hugged the couch pillow to her stomach and flipped the channel using the remote in her hand. She didn’t bother looking at her father who sat in the recliner on the other side of the room.

“Yeah,” the blonde said in a bored monotone.

Undeterred, Walt stared at the television, not really seeing it or listening to it. He said, “You’re pretty much good as new. You still planning on going back to school?”

“Yeah.”

“You gonna forgive the boys?”

Ayden rolled her eyes and tried not to give away just how annoyed she was becoming. “No.”

“You gonna talk to the boys?” Walt pressed.

“No, dad, I’m not,” the blonde snapped.

Walt huffed. “Ayden, grow up!”

Ayden contorted her features into anger and glared at her father. “Dad, Josiah cheated on me! With my best friend! How can someone do that to a person they’re supposed to love?”

“These things happen--”

The blonde glared harsher. “Jesus Christ, I was in a coma!”

“Well you’ll have to get over it,” Walt quipped. “They’re your best friends. Do you really want to lose them forever?"

Ayden snapped her mouth shut. In all honesty, she didn’t want to lose them. She was just so hurt and humiliated by it all that she didn’t know how to let the grudge go. Her pride simply wouldn’t allow her to.

“See, Ayd?” Walt asked, raising his eyebrows. “I know you still care about them, and I understand that what they did was wrong, but is it really worth never speaking to them again?”

“Do you even understand how they made me feel?” Ayden asked.

Walt tilted his head slightly and gave his daughter a sympathetic look. “Sweetie, I know they hurt you. But for what it’s worth, they broke up because they felt so awful for it. And Josiah did the right thing for telling you as soon as he did, because he could have just dragged it out forever or just never told you.”

“Yeah, but why didn’t Carson tell me? He’s my best friend. I just don’t see how they could do that to me.”

“Love is a bitch, honey, and those two boys love each other.”

Ayden flinched and shot her dad a fresh glare. “Wow, thanks.”

Walt rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean, Ayden. Sometimes love fades.”

The blonde shook her head. “Yeah...you really think you’re helping, but you’re actually not.”

“I’m just--”

Ayden held up her hand and sighed. “Yeah, I got it. I just don’t know if I’m ready to accept it yet. Josiah broke my heart. I loved him so much.”

“What you need to do is just talk to them. Have a serious discussion and figure out what is going on with you guys.” Walt slowly got to his feet. He walked over to his daughter and kissed her on the top of her head. He straightened up and said, “That's all I’m going to say about it. Take it or leave it, I won’t bring it up again.”

Ayden bit her lips, and crossed her arms over her chest. She didn’t say anything as her father walked away, leaving her to think. The blonde groaned as her thoughts roamed, and she sank back into the cushions of the couch.

If she really let her pride take a step back, Ayden could admit that this had been the loneliest summer of her life. She hardly left the house because she hadn’t had anybody to hang out with or go see, and the truth was that she missed her idiotic best friends.

Yeah, they did her wrong. Yeah, Josiah smashed her heart into a bunch of pieces like she had tried to do to his face with those dishes. But it didn’t kill her. And she couldn’t help but remember all of the amazing and hilarious times the three of them had over the previous year.

There was a part of her that hoped that she and Josiah could get back together, but she knew that wasn’t possible; not after everything that had happened. And, if she was being truthful, Ayden felt like she had known Josiah well enough. He had never once struck her as the kind of guy who would cheat just for the hell of it.

Fuck, she thought. He really must be in love with him.

Ayden groaned and fell to the side to lay down on the couch. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to talk to them someday. Hell, she missed them bad enough that she was even considering, so she figured that must have meant something.

The blonde wasn’t really sure if she could forgive them so easily as if they’d stolen a french fry from her plate or something, but maybe she could slowly get over it all. If the light at the end of the tunnel was that the three of them could go back to being the happy best friends that they once had been, maybe it was worth giving the both of them another chance to explain themselves.

Ayden snorted quietly to herself. And beg for forgiveness, she thought with a smug smile.

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