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Banner by: bookwormian

UNEDITED: I'm going to admit it I kind of teared up a little, very very little during this chapter and I don't even know why it's not great or anything. It's probably because I can't believe this book is coming to and end or because I've been emotionally unstable ever since the Captain America Civil War Trailer came out.

OH MY GOD IT'S COMING ONE DAY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY I'M GOING TO BE LYING ON MY BED THE ENTIRE 5TH OF MAY DYING FOR THE MOVIE. Thanks Marvel.

Yeah, that's definitely why. Totally unhinged

Two chapters to go unless I decide to cut the last chapter in two parts which I probably will just so that this book ends on Chapter 69. LOL. If this chapter is kind of broken in bits do tell me, I've been sick the past week and I'm not really sure what I've written.

AND HOLY SHIT 100K comments on this book. You guys rock.

I stand there frozen.

I can't move. I can't breathe because I'm afraid that even the slightest movement and he'll disappear.

"Go." Rebecca says,"Go get him."

He's here. 


He's really here.


Please, please let this not be a dream.

I take one step forward still unsure, still breathless, still afraid that he'll just vanish breaking me into pieces all over again.

I take another step forward and at this point I'm already drenched but I don't care.

Another step.


He's still here.


Another step.


And then I'm running.

I'm running and I'm stumbling over my dress barely managing to see through the rain. I'm running over the wet grass, across the field not giving a damn that my entire dress was ruined and I probably looked like a mess.

He came back.


He came back to me.

I slam into him so hard that I send the both of us tumbling to the ground with me on top of Jake.

"Clara Wilson, you somehow manage to sweep me off my feet every time I see you." He says grinning. I look at him taking him all in, his bright green eyes and his black hair matted from the rain. He smells like honeydew and rain and his hands are around my waist like the belong there.

They do.

"You're here." I say softly, still not quite believing it, "You're really here."

"I shouldn't be." He says as he gently pushes my hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear,"But since we both know I'm a selfish bastard who can't stay away from you-

"Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Just shut up and kiss me already."

And he does.

It's the kind of kiss that takes my breath away, the kind that's intoxicating, the kind that's addictive, longing and absolutely devastating at the same time.

I don't how long we kiss, it could have been a minute or forever, but when we finally break apart to catch our breaths, I roll over to the side so that I'm lying next to him on the ground looking up at the sky.

"Yeah." I finally say still panting slightly,"You're definitely here."

I can hear him chuckle as he stands up and offers me his hand. I take it and he pulls me up to my feet and somehow we end up kissing again.

It's like the first one, longing deep and-

"Hey losers!"

I break away and turn around to see Rebecca standing at the door with what seems to be our entire grade behind her. They are all standing behind her staring at us like we are on display. Sally Timberlake is already scribbling something in her notebook to put in the graduation edition of the Gossip Review.

Some things never change.

"Go get a room!" Rebecca yells but she's smiling so wide that it looks like she's going to dissolve with happiness. A few people behind her snicker and Rebecca turns towards them.

"And all of you scram!" She says,"Don't you have anything better to do?"

Almost immediately everyone scatters in different directions and Rebecca gives me one last smile before turning around and closing the door behind her.

"You're friend is one of a kind." Jake comments looking at me and I laugh.

"I know." I say and turn towards him,"Can we get out of here?"

He smiles,"I thought you'd never ask."

______________

By the time we reach the dock, the rain has eased up so much so that it's only drizzling. Not that it matters, the rain had stopped bothering me a long time ago.

The drive there was short and it was spent in silence. We didn't talk at all but it wasn't awkward. I held Jake's hand through out gripping it tightly, convincing myself that if I held on to him tightly enough he wouldn't disappear.

Maybe I didn't say anything because I knew just how much shit we would have to deal with if I opened my mouth, if I started to think about everything that had happened. My fake bubble of happiness would dissolve into nothing.

"Remember our kiss here?" I ask as I quickly remove my shoes and swing my legs over the edge of the dock so that my toes skim over the water.

"Couldn't forget it even if I tried." He says.

"I was terrified after that kiss." I admit, "I was terrified because I realized at that point that there was a part of me that really really liked you."

"Well it was only a matter of time till you fell for my incredibly good looks and charm." He jokes siting down next to me. I lean into him and he wraps his hands around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him. I take a deep breath in and for the first time in two months I feel the knot in my chest dissolve.

"Oh please Henderson." I say, "You have no charm."

"That's not true and you know it." He says, "I mean look at me. I'm adorable."

I smile, "Keep telling yourself that won't you?"

"Why should I?" He asks, "You're there to do it for me."

A silence settles between us as we realize that we can't run away from everything for much longer.

I want to.

But I can't.

"How about we take turns with the questions?" Jake suggests slowly and I nod.

I start, "Do you think we can pretend for a little longer that we don't have to talk about everything? That we are not ridiculously complicated?"

"I want to." He answers after some time, "But we both know that-"

"-we can't." I finish for him. I sigh, "I know. Wishful thinking I suppose. Your turn."

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm up." I say,"So I suppose I'm holding up alright. I mean it's a freaking miracle but I am trying. It's hard to watch a person that you love die and all you're allowed to do is stand on the sidelines and watch. But I'm holding up. I'm fine."

"You don't have to be fine with this, you know that." He says,"No one is asking you to be fine with it."

"I have to be fine with it." I say,"How else am I going to survive it? I have to be fine with my grandmother's decision and I have to be fine with the fact that you're probably going to leave again because if I am not, if I can't even pretend then I'm never going to survive it."

"You're the strongest person I've ever met." He says,"I know you'll find a way."

"I'm not so sure." I say,"But I'm trying."

He pulls me closer and tucks me into him in such a manner that my head is against his chest and his chin rests on the top of my head.

"You're going to get through this, I promise." He murmurs.

"You're such a good liar, I might just believe you." I say.

"Good." He says.

"Just please don't make me hate you again just so that I can stay away from you." I say,"I can survive loving you but hating you is something that I just can't do."

"Do you wish sometimes that you could?" He asks,"Hate me, that is?"

I ignore his question,"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow." He says, "After graduation. After all I wouldn't want to miss you in your wonderful yellow graduation robes."

"Ugh. Don't remind me." I say.

"I quite like yellow on you." He says, "It's the color of the dress you wore when we went to the top of the Empire State Building."

I smile, "Yup. You're probably the only one who doesn't shrivel at the sight. That color is hideous. Especially on me. And what happened to you graduating?"

He shrugs, "I already have. Took a private tutor for it and finished all of it in under two weeks. Turns out when you have the money you can do-"

He breaks of all of a sudden, his voice cracking.

I pull away from him a little bit to see what's wrong and Jake has his eyes shut tightly as if he's trying to will something to go away.

"What's wrong?"

He takes a deep breath in, "Before I met you all I ever wanted was to distance myself from my father. I didn't want to be like him. Not even a little bit, not even at all. But then when you came and I realized that it's you I wanted the most, I accepted the fact you can only want one thing at a time. I just wonder sometimes while wanting you so badly, I became like him. I even sound like him at times."

When you have money you can do anything.

I take his face in between my palms gently, "You're nothing like him. You will never be anything like him because you're kind, you're and you're the boy I'm totally and utterly in love with you."

"That night-"

This time it's my chance to pull away from which makes him stop. A horrible wave of guilt washes over me as I remember whatever I'd said to him that night.

"I'm sorry for that night." I say,"You have no idea how-"

"I know." He says grabbing my hand and squeezing it twice,"I know."

"About Alec-"

"It's okay." He says,"I had some time to think about it and I realized I'm okay with it. I'm not going to tell Alec what he did because at least let someone remember him for the person he could be. Not the person he was."

"But I do wonder if it had been the other way around. Maybe I'd be different less damaged. I'd probably have made fewer mistakes." Jake says,"Then I'd probably still have you. I probably wouldn't have to let you go."

"You'll always have me." I say,"No matter what."

"That's what I'm afraid of." He says,"That I'll end up ruining you because I have you. Because you didn't give up on me."

I keep quiet for some time before I start,"When you were gone I fell apart. Rebecca helped. She always does. But I helped myself too. I told myself to be strong and move on. Maybe I didn't do as well as I hoped but I'm not fragile. You say I'm the strongest girl you've ever met and yet you don't believe that I can handle myself. I probably won't give up when you leave. I'd probably still be in love with you despite everything and I probably wouldn't survive the first few weeks. But then I'll pick up the pieces and I'll tell myself that I can do this because I am the strongest person you've ever met."

"Don't you wish you'd never met me?" He asks,"Life would be simpler."

"If loving you were easy Jake, things would be simpler. But you have to understand that I'm in love with you. I'm in love with all of you, the damaged and the broken bits."

"You shouldn't be." He says,"You should have run away a long time ago. Even you know that this was a mistake in the end, especially since it's going to end."

"Well then it's the best mistake I've made." I say,"And I'm not going to take back the fact that I love you. Sure this time around I'd probably kill Eric when I had the chance but no, apart from that I wouldn't change anything when it comes to us. Because I love you and not some perfect version of you."

I pause for a moment realizing how cheesy it sounded.

"I've been learning these cheesy dialogues from the best." I quickly say,"Rebecca is very good with putting feelings into words and laying it on thick."

Jake chuckles and we keep quiet for a while not saying anything until he finally breaks the silence,"I'm glad Rebecca got me back here. It's probably something I'm going to regret but I'm glad it happened none the less."

"I suppose she got so sick of me and my drama that she quite literally went to New York so she could have a break."

He smiles,"She really cares about you Clara, I'm just flattered to think that she thought I was the solution. But I should have known better than to come back, it's probably going to make things worse."

That was literally not possible.

"How did she convince you?"

"Something along the lines of that I could either go with her in peace or she'd ship me here in pieces."

I laugh,"Of course."

"But that wasn't the only reason." He says, She gave me this."

He opens his palm to reveal a small charm.

The charm I had picked up.

A tiny little house.

And then he opened his other hand where the entire charm bracelet lay, completely intact.

"How?" I ask,"It broke."

"I came back for it." He says,"I searched for this charm everywhere that day, I never thought you would have taken it."

"When Rebecca came to me with the charm, I didn't understand why you'd kept this one." He continues,"But now I think I do."

"It's not because I moved in next door to you." He says, "You took it because everything else represented our past. This was the only thing that could represent something from our future. Our future together, one that we won't have."

"I needed hope." I say,"Despite everything it gives me hope. It represents the fact that four years ago when you walked out I never thought I'd see you again, but you came back to me. You somehow tumbled back into my life and came to live next door. If it happened once before I'm hoping it will happen again."

He raises an eyebrow,"So we'd be living only next door to each other in the make believe future?"

"I think we'd be terrible living together." I say, "We'd be better neighbors. I mean love thy neighbors had to have come from somewhere."

"So I'd be Jake Henderson the boring old, guy next door?" He asks.

"I hardly doubt you'd be boring." I say, "But living together-"

"Well in your voicemail you didn't think living together would be that bad." He says.

I stop.

"You heard it?" I ask unsurely.

"Of course I did."

"Everyday I for the past two months I heard that voice mail." He continues, "Every day I would hear you talk about us and every day I would want to run back to you. But I couldn't. Because no matter how much I want you, I much I need you, I'm not going to be selfish with you. I am not going to be a coward when it comes to you. I am not going to be like my father."

"But don't you want it? That future together."

He smiles and takes his phone out of his pocket and scrolls through it before tapping it.

The message starts playing and my voice fills the night air which had stilled when the rain stopped.

"Hi." My voice on the phone starts.

There is a nervous chuckle after that, "That's a terrible way to start but I don't know what to say. Or more like where to begin."

"I love you." I say, "I know that I've told you this a million times but I need you to know that it's the realest thing I've ever felt and I love you. Only you. It's always been you since the start, I just forgot about it on the way. But I remember now, I know now."

"But more than anything I want to thank you and I want to say sorry." I say,"Thank you for protecting me even when you didn't have to. And I'm sorry for the things I said to you, for the things I kept from you. I just hope you realize that I thought what I was doing was right even though it wasn't."

"I just found your journal." The voice mail continues and I can hear the smile in my voice,"And your dorky video message where you're totally fangirling over me."

There is a pause before the recording starts again.

"Why didn't you tell me Jake?" My voice sounds pleading, "Why did you let yourself be painted as the villain of the story? I want- no need you to come back so I can say how sorry I am for ever doubting you, for ever forgetting you."

"But I'm scared that if you do come back, we'll just end up saying good bye again because even though you can't say it to me, you love me and the fact that you love me is what's driving you away. You somehow love me enough to be okay with the fact that as long as I'm okay, I'm not hurting, I can hate you. You love me so much that you're willing to convince yourself that you don't deserve me and that I should hate you."

"You say you're not my Prince Charming. And that's true. You've broken my heart more times than I count. You break my heart every time you smile, you break my hear every time you kiss me and you break my heart every time you leave just to protect me."

"In order to for me to fall for you, instead of just telling me the truth, you made me fake date you with the motive to make Alec jealous. You made me throw our relationship on Michella's face and because of you and I've been to jail too. No, you are definitely not Prince Charming. But that's just it isn't it?"

"You may not be my Prince Charming but you are my best shot at a happily ever after."

"And I know that you think that we can't be together. That the happily ever after doesn't exist. Maybe it doesn't, not for us but I need to hope. I can't handle another goodbye."

"I don't want to say another goodbye." I say,"I want to pretend that we have our entire life ahead to spend with each other, so that's what I'm going to do. Pretend that we have a future. Together. Pretend that our happily ever after isn't that much of a dream after all."

"For starters we'd wake up next to each other." I say,"You'd give me that heartbreaking sleepy smile in the morning and probably tell me that I look beautiful even though my hair is all over the place and I resemble something that looks like a raccoon."

"Then I'd go to brush and take a shower-"

Jake pauses the recording for a second.

"I'm not going to lie but I'd probably sneak in the shower with you even though you wouldn't want me there." He says.

I smile,"I'm not going to lie either, I'll always want you there even if I say otherwise."

He presses play.

"Then I would come down and complain about the mess you made in the kitchen while making breakfast and you'd tell me that it's an improvement from when I tried to make breakfast because I almost ended up burning our house down."

He laughs at that and the message continues to play.

"You would probably always keep the Nutella jar on the top shelf so that I wouldn't be able reach it. You'd always grab me by the waist and pick me up so I'd be able to reach it. I'd probably shout at you every time but you'd simply smile and say that it gave you an excuse to put your arms around me."

"We'd go to work in my car." The message continues, "You'd probably insult my driving and tell me that I was making you late for work but secretly you'd always let me drive because that meant we got be around each other for longer."

"And we'd kiss goodbye as I dropped you to your office and before going to mine I'd call my grandmother who would be perfectly alright and was probably going to live forever. And-"

My voice breaks and silence fills the air for a moment before my voice mail starts playing again.

"Silly isn't it? The fact that I'm hoping for this entire future together when you're probably not even listening to this. It's naïve and it's so bloody impossible but it's what I want. And if I can't have that give me a chance to make things alright. I'm willing to risk a goodbye but I can't take this silence between us."

"I-I love you and I want you to know that. I hope you already know that."

The voice mail stops but almost instantly Jake starts talking.

"You didn't mention how when we would come home at night I'd open a bottle of wine to drink which you'd almost always end up spilling on yourself." He says softly,"And you forgot to mention how we would sit on the couch in the evening and I'd have my head on your lap while you read some fancy new philosophical book or talked to Rebecca. I'd do my best to concentrate reading whatever file placed in front of me but when in truth, I'd probably just be sneaking glances at you, to catch you smile or laugh."

"Then we would go to bed." He says, "You'd have your head on my chest like you always do and I'd probably put on one of those really really dorky ass socks just to make you feel better because you'd had a hard day at work."

"You'd ask me about my day and I'd insult just about everybody in the office to which you would take my hand and squeeze it twice promising me that the next day would be better." He says, "I'd then kiss your forehead and you'd somehow mumble that you were in love with me and you were so lucky to have someone who awesome and charming person ever. You'd then probably even say that I was the greatest and most adorable person ever."

"And just when you're going to fall asleep I would tell you that I love you." He says, "I would tell you that I love you Car. That I'd been in love with you since the very beginning, ever since you'd put on that dorky Spongebob t-shirt and started talking about Harry Potter with my dog. I'll tell you that I loved you right from the start to end and even beyond that."

"I'd tell you I love you the next morning when we wake up." He says,"And I'd tell you I love you in the shower or when you're driving me to work in that cramped up car of yours just so that we can be closer. In fact I'll tell you I love you so so many times that in the end it just becomes an annoying reminder to you."

"I'd tell that I love you because I wouldn't be scared anymore." He says,"I wouldn't be scared to tell you that everyday because I would know that I would be able to say it again and again because I'd see you everyday, for the rest of my life. I would tell you I love you over and over again because I would know that the first time I tell you that, won't be the last."

My hands are clamped on my mouth as I try to stifle my pathetic broken sobs. I don't know when I had started crying but I'm not sure I was going to be able to stop any time soon.

I love you.

"Don't cry." He says gently.

"Don't cry?" I say pathetically sniffling,"You tell me all of that and then tell me not to cry? Are you freaking mental?"

He chuckles pulling me closer in an attempt to calm me down but instead it all just hits me again.

I had been handling it all so well until the stupid dummy had come and told me that he loved me.

How was that not supposed to break my heart further?

"I was wrong you know?" Jake says. His eyes are shut and there is blissful, content smile on his face, "Before this, what I said, I was wrong."

"Wrong about what?" I manage to sniffle.

"Wrong about wanting you the most in the world." He says.

His eyes flutter open and for a second I can't breathe as I realize how green they are.

"The thing I want most in the world is a life with you."

My heart constricts painfully and I can't seem to breathe or even think for a moment.

And then I twist around, I'm not quite sure whether it's to punch him or kiss him for somehow making me fall in love with him even deeper than before, but instead I make us both lose our balance and we both end up tumbling into the lake.

Wow Clara, way to kill the moment.

Jake grabs me and pulls me above water and I find myself standing on his toes, the water coming up to my chin.

We were close, incredibly close and I know that after all this time it shouldn't manage to take my breath away but it does. It somehow always does.

"You're laughing at me." I say dragging my attention back to Jake who has a big amused grin plastered on to his face.

"Of course I am." He says,"I say the words I love you and you push me into a lake."

"That was a mistake." I defend.

"Well are you sure it wasn't the best mistake you've ever made?"

"Oh really?" I say,"Are you seriously teasing me about my cheesy lines? do you really want me to get started on yours?"

"Fine."He says, "I surrender. You win."

I grin wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Promise me one thing." I say.

"Anything."

"Tomorrow when it's time, really time please don't break my heart again. Just let me say a proper goodbye. Please."

He hesitates before he nods,"I promise."

"Good." I say satisfied,"Now-"

Before I can form another coherent thought Jake is already kissing me.

And despite the fact that I as standing in the middle of a lake kissing a boy who I wouldn't see ever again after tomorrow, there was no place I would rather be.

________________________________________________

"Hey sleepyhead." I smile as I open my eyes to see Jake next to me, lips stretched into a lazy grin.

I'm wrapped up in his arms and his scent of honeydew overwhelms me and I'm upset to find out that it's morning already.

We'd come home pretty late anyway, we'd spent our entire time talking and kissing on the dock and forgetting all about our problems. It had been our own little get away from the real world and when he'd insisted that I get some rest I'd dragged him up to my bedroom with me.

And true to words I'd kept my head on his chest and he'd wrapped his arms around me and just as I was about to fall asleep he'd said I love you.

"You look beautiful." He whispers and I roll my eyes.

"I bet I look like a raccoon." I say.

He grins,"A beautiful raccoon."

I hit him lightly in the chest and he chuckles.

"You know you're going to have to get up right?" He says,"You need to reach school in two hours."

"That's plenty of time."

"You're just procrastinating now." He says.

"Can you blame me?" I mumble,"I'm hoping to stretch this moment forever."

He pauses for a moment, silent.

"I love you." He says softly.

I smile. It's a happy, happy smile,"I love you too."

_______________________________

"So you had a good night's sleep?"

I jump at my grandmother's voice hitting my head against the kitchen cabinet, hard.

"Umm yeah?" I say unsurely pouring the coffee into the cup and taking a sip. I had to start getting ready for graduation which started in about an- I checked the clock, an hour and a half.

Brilliant.

I didn't even want to go. If it was up to me I would just stay in bed with Jake. But he'd forced me up and told me to get ready. He promised to meet me during the ceremony and by the time I'd come out of the bathroom he was already gone.

But that was okay because this wasn't goodbye. Not yet anyway.

And he'd told me that he loved me.

He loved me.

I smile dorkily as I sip on the coffee.

"I would think so." She says,"After all when an eighteen year old girl shares a bed with a boy, all they do is sleep."

I choke on my coffee, spitting half of it out.

"W-what?" I ask between coughs and my grandmother gives me an amused smile,"I may be old Clara but I'm not stupid. I hope you used protection."

My mouth dropped open and I turn red with embarrassment. Oh my God this is not happening.

"I mean I don't know about you but I'm far to young to be a great grandmother." She comments.

"Hold it." I say my brain finally catching up with what my grandmother was trying to imply, "I did not sleep with Jake!"

"Do you deny him coming to your room last night?" She asks,"And spending the entire night there?"

"Umm yes?" I offer.

She rolls her eyes and gives me a look.

"Fine. He was there." I say,"I swear nothing happened."

"Yes so you spent the entire night cuddling after meeting each other after two months?" She asks with an eyebrow raised.

"Yes!"

"Seriously?" She says,"When did this generation become so chaste?"

"Oh my God." I say,"You're really doing this to me."

"Of course I am." She says,"It's rather exciting too, I've never really got a chance to do this considering you've never had a boy properly sneak in."

"What about Michella?" I ask.

She shrugs,"Well there was nothing exciting about it since she used to make out with the boys on the couch itself without even an attempt to hide. No grandmother should have to see that."

I laugh,"Well nothing happened between Jake and I yesterday. It's just awkward of us doing anything when my mother and my grandmother are just a few feet away."

My grandmother laughs,"Well I'm glad you think so."

"Speaking of mother dear where is she?" I ask.

"She's gone to pick up your father from the airport." My grandmother replies.

"I think coming here is totally pointless." I say.

"It's not. You're finally graduating."

"Yeah neither can I." I say,"I'm finally out of high school. Thank God. I hated this hellhole."

"Oh come on it wasn't that bad." She says,"You did meet your friends there and now it's up to you to stand up in front of the entire school and give the valedictorian spe-"

"Shit." I curse getting up so fast that I spill my coffee all over me. Thankfully it wasn't hot but that wasn't saying much considering it was incredibly sticky.

"What's wrong?" My grandmother asks.

"I may have forgotten to write the speech." I say,"Shit. Shit. Shit. Okay bye grandma. I'll see you later."

I give her quick kiss on her cheek and I rush up the stairs tripping and stumbling. I quickly dial Rebecca's number as I open the door to my room.

"It's practically dawn." Rebecca yawns picking up the phone,"As much as I'm happy both you and Jake did the naughty yesterday I'm going to skip the details and go back to sleep."

"We are graduating in an hour and a half." I say.

"What!" Rebecca exclaims,"What the hell is wrong with my alarm? It's like my phone wants to sabotage my life."

"Oh you've got it bad. I just realised I'm the valedictorian." I say,"And my speech ideas are currently at zero."

"Okay. Okay." Rebecca says,"First, go online watch Gwen Stacey's Amazing Spiderman Speech, it was great. Then go to who was that girl from Twilight-"

"I can't copy those speeches." I say quickly grabbing a pen and a not- where the hell were my notebooks? I finally find a notebook but end up spilling half of the contents on the ground.

"Nobody is asking you to copy the speech." She says,"Just get some inspiration both were brilliant, just write something. Half of the kids are either too hung over from last night's prom after party and the other half is just going to be thinking about today's party and getting drunk. I'm pretty sure none of them care."

"My parents are coming." I say.

"They'll be too busy on the phone." She says,"Probably."

"Jake is coming." I say.

"He already knows you're a complete moron." Rebecca replies,"So you can't possibly disappoint him. But none the less just go write something on a piece of paper."

"Okay." I say,"I can do-"

I cut off abruptly when my gaze falls onto the thick envelope falls on the ground which had spilled all of its contents.

A letter with an official seal is among them face up. It's a letter from MIT.

It's an acceptance letter from MIT.

What the-

"Did you hear me?" Rebecca asks,"His flight-"

"Hey Rebecca I'll meet you there." I say cutting her off my gaze fixed on the letter.

I cut the call and reach for the letter and I'm right. It is an acceptance letters. It's my acceptance letter.

How-

I immediately bend down snatching another letter with Michella's cursive all over it.

Sup sis,


I'm not going to start with some heartfelt introduction because after you read this letter you're going to burn this and I'm going to deny that this even exists.

Okay?


Great.

I'm sorry.

Happy? 


That's all your ever going to get. I'm not going to say it again and I'm totally going to deny it if you even think about mentioning to anyone.

But yeah, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for blaming you for the fact that I lost the baby. It wasn't your fault, it was completely mine. I needed someone to blame and you were there. It was an absolutely bitchy thing to do and I would make it different of I had the option.

I'm also sorry for dating the boy of your dreams and flaunting him in your face and blah blah blah just to get back at you for doing something that wasn't even your fault. Besides I'm going to be honest, Alec may be the boy of your dreams but he's not the one you're going to end up with and I think we both know that.

I'm sorry for lying and screwing up the image of the boy you actually loved. I have slept with Jake Henderson, it was neither of our finest moments but I assure you that Jake did not get me pregnant.

It is easier to hate him than to love him, and there was a point that I was in love with him too but mostly it was because he was the best way to get me out of shit that I had brought upon myself. I chose the easier path and lied instead but trust me when I say this that Jake Henderson and I have no feelings for each other.

He lied to so that you would hate him and let him go so it would be easier for you.

I did it because I was terrified that as long as you were in love with him, you would not stop until you got him. No matter what the consequences, what the restrictions. You are like me that way I suppose and getting him meant going to MIT, that meant moving away from grandma when she was sick.

Grandma's pride as well as concern for the way you would react made her keep it from you so long. Mom told me that you found out recently and I'm surprised that she actually ended up telling you but I don't think that's the case. You probably found out about it yourself and that must have been really hard. I was a mess for days after I found out and...

Well, this is not about me.

I wanted to tell you but I was forced to keep my mouth shut. So I messed with your application so you would be forced to go to Cal-Tech and be closer to her. I'm not going to lie, there was a part of me that thought even after you knew that she was sick you would still choose Jake.

Jake knew too, its one of the reasons he returned after his father's death for you. But when he found out that you didn't know he decided to keep shut about it to after all it was not his secret to tell. I know you value the people you love Clara and I'm proud that you're holding up, I don't know how you're managing to keep your shit together (although I'm sure you're best friend has plenty of advice to give) but I am proud of you.

Again I'm going to deny I ever said that.

The thing that I am most sorry about amongst all of them is for not giving you a choice and trusting you enough. I blindly sabotaged you're entire MIT application thinking its what you would have wanted without even considering maybe it's not.

So I sent it in, granted I had to go to the office and make a big deal but it was worth it. You got in of course, never doubted that you wouldn't. 

After all you were always the better version of me, Michella 2.0, smarter, kinder and somehow still bitchier. Except the looks part, I've seen you in the morning, you look like a troll.

So your acceptance letter is in here with this.

But that's not all.

You can be with Jake.

I know you've got issues and I know why he left you that day in New York, I know what he's into, Spencer, Eric I know it all, mostly because a lot of it was my fault, after all it was me who had gotten him involved with them.

So this me making things right. Nobody from that world is going to come anywhere near Jake Henderson or you.

I PROMISE you.

I'm not going to tell you how I did it but you're smart, you'll figure it out. I'm not going to tell you what possessed me to do so,but take this as kind of a promise, that Jake Henderson has not slipped from your fingers completely.

So I'm giving you the choice that I shouldn't have taken away from you, it makes things harder for you and I'm not sorry for that but I know you'll choose correctly because let's face it Clara it had never been a choice between Alec and him, it had always been a choice between Jake Henderson and yourself.

And I have a feeling that given this choice in which you can have both, you're going to pick the one that's best for you because you are my sister and you'll figure it out. You'll figure out that sometimes you can have everything but it's up to you to find a way.

And if you choose Jake just give him the photo with this. He will understand.

Xoxo, Michella.

I scramble for the envelope shaking it and before the photo falls onto the floor I manage to snatch it.

The back has Michella's writing:

You owe me 50 bucks Henderson, told you I'll tell him eventually. Now go get my sister and don't you dare fucking let her go. I'll kill you.

I snort and flip it over to find a picture of a couple. Michella is laughing in it her blonde hair all over the place. She looks genuinely happy something I've almost never seen. She's younger in the picture about sixteen years old and her hand is wrapped tightly around the shoulders of the boy next to her.

A boy stands next to her grinning, his dark eyes gazing at Michella. I stare at it for a while trying to figure out who the boy is, he looks familiar and yet-

The photography falls from my hand falls onto the floor.

It can't be.


But it was.

The boy who is standing next to my sister with her arms wrapped around him, staring at her as if she is his world is none other than Eric.

AUTHORS NOTE

I seriously need to improve on the emotional quotient of this book. But anyway how was the chapter I hope you liked it. This was so damn cheesy I know but would you have liked it any other way? Please do tell it really helps ;)

And a few of you did guess it was Eric so congrats!!

And if it's not too much to ask if you guys want to see this book even have a small chance to be made into a movie or Tv show, I hope you guys go and vote here. You guys can suggest your own casting choices too.

http://www.iflist.com/stories/theguynextdoor

If you can't access the link here simply click on the comments next to it and I've posted a link there and there is also one on my profile ;)

Any comments, suggestions, feel free to message me or head over to my ask ;) I'll be sorting through my inbox tomorrow and replying.

NEXT UPDATE: Next Week.

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