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Chapter 14

For the past week, I haven’t talked with Sterl. I haven’t even seen him. Obviously, he’s been hiding away from me. But, can I blame him? I was the one who betrayed him, the one who hurt him and the one who I was unconsciously pushing away, and now, I wanted him back. I just don’t know how to take him.

Just like any other day, I would go directly to their house. When I got there, it was isolated. The house was dead. Eerie silent dead, that I feared going inside it to know who was there. I step a foot in their lawn, then another, until I was half across to their door when I realized it. K wasn’t lunging at me to throw me out. It was what he was constantly doing every time I try to visit here – one of the reasons why I didn’t have the chance to talk with Sterl lately.

The house was empty; no one was inside the dark place. Everything was covered in white sheet of clothing. I ran up in the stairs and trotted directly to Sterl’s room, only to find the same white sheets covering all of his things.

In the desk, a voice recorder was placed. It was a walkman, the one with the tape. I played the voice recorder and I could hear a faint breathing. It was a mere minute before he spoke.

Patrick, I’m sorry I haven’t informed you that I am leaving. I thought of telling you before, but I figured it’s not necessary anymore…

Suddenly, a wave of happiness rolled inside me when I heard his voice. But, it immediately vanishes as I caught up with what he said. He left. My chest tightened as a burning sensation in my stomach and throat made me want to puke. I don’t understand what I am feeling - a mixture of regret, hatred, disgust, and longing. I hated the feeling. It made me sick.

Do you remember the first day that we met? It was when I was sitting on my favorite spot, near the river, at the big rock…

I don’t know where he was going on with his words, so I listened carefully.

That day, and the next and the next, I started growing feelings for you, feelings that I shouldn’t have. Feelings that is wrong, yet I continued because at that time, whenever I am with you, I feel complete.

I smiled to myself.

… and when the day that we became official, nothing ever made me so happy the same way that day and you did. I truly loved you – and still do.

A tear successfully rolled out of my eye. I really don’t know where he was going on with his words. But, hearing his voice stabbed me. It stabbed me because of the reality that I won’t be hearing it again.

… I love you Pat, you may have someone else now, but I love you more than I ever did in my entire life. You were the one that matters to me, that’s why. I’m letting you go. This is my gift for you. Happy birthday love!

His voice choked in the last part. I didn’t turn the recorder off- he might say something else. Instead, I heard sobs, and the recorder went off.

Now, I can’t stop myself. I sobbed hard in the desk, my shoulder rising as I suck a breath after each sob. How come was I so stupid?! The most important person in my life, the most important one that I can’t live without, left me because of my stupidity, because I was so naïve, I was blinded with a fake picture of my past, covering the newly painted present of mine.

I haven’t even realized it’s my birthday today if it wasn’t because of his greetings. Suddenly, I realized something. The whole day I never got a scent that triggers me, telling me that I’m close to my mate. There were no signs that tell me who my mate is.

Yet my wolf is so happy just by hearing Sterl’s voice. Could it be that Sterl is my mate?

My suspicions are confirmed when my wolf scratched inside me at the mere mention of his name. My heart tightened at the thought that Sterl is my mate. He’s gone, because of me. I pushed my mate away. The person I really loved. I don’t even know where he is. I lost my mate just because of my reckless decisions.

While walking in the pavement directed to our house, I could clearly see the pack house partying inside. The pack members who were outside the house greeted me and I replied to them a cold nod. The nearer I get to the door, the louder I could hear the laughter of my family. I knew exactly why they were laughing. It was because of coming to the right age and finding my mate.  Mate. The word stings as hell every time I hear it.

“Dad” I called as they twirl their heads towards me. I sniff and I could clearly see the worry look in their eyes as they saw me. I mean, who wouldn’t be worried? I have been crying for over an hour at Sterl’s house, devouring the remaining scent that I could smell in there.

“What happened to you, son?” Dad asked. Mom made her way towards me and hug me, at that moment, I cried again in her shoulder. She led me away from all the curious looks from our pack members and headed to my room.

When we entered the room, she let me sit and kneeled in front of me, with dad behind her.

“What happened, dear? Tell us what’s wrong.” She chimed as she tries to soothe me. Dad stayed silent behind her, he knew that it’s not his specialty to comfort someone in times like this, so he lets mom take care of it.

“My mate.” I replied shortly and cried harder. I started pounding on the bed and threw things that I grab hold. Dad took mom away from me as I practically destroyed everything in my room.

“What happened, son? Did your mate reject you?” Dad asked as he raised his voice. I stop and look at him.

“Sterl is my mate.” I heard mom gasped and squealed while jumping up and down like a fan girl.

“Oh my goddess! Then there’s no problem to it. Sterl is your boyfriend already! Why are angry?! You should be happy with this.” Mom said with a lot of squeal while fanning herself. I look away from them and decided what to say…

“Sterl and I haven’t had the chance to talk this week…” I said and looked up in attempt to stop my tears to roll down, however, a single drop made its way to my cheek.

“What happened, son? Did your mate reject you?” Dad asked as he raised his voice. I stop and look at him.

“Sterl is my mate.” I heard mom gasped and squealed while jumping up and down like a fan girl.

“Oh my goddess! Then there’s no problem to it. Sterl is your boyfriend already! Why are angry?! You should be happy with this.” Mom said with a lot of squeal while fanning herself. I look away from them and decided what to say…

“Sterl and I haven’t had the chance to talk this week…” I said and looked up in attempt to stop my tears to roll down, however, a single drop made its way to my cheeks. “… and I’m afraid we won’t have the chance again… He’s gone mom, dad. I pushed my mate away.”

“It was my entire fault. I shouldn’t have done it to him. I’m sorry! I was so confused at that time when Elisa came. She reminded me so much of Alyssa, and the fact that they were twins didn’t help. I was so confused that I didn’t realize I’m losing Sterl. I was so confused to realize that he is hurting, that what I was doing was destroying us. I’m so sorry I lost him.” I said as I choke with my words.

Mom and dad didn’t say anything. They just walk up to me and hugged me, soothing me as they rub my back.

“That Elisa, is that the girl who looks just like Alyssa?” Mom asked.

“Yes. How do you know?”

“She came here. We were startled at first, but, she explained herself that she’s Alyssa’s twin. She’s downstairs.” Dad explained.

“What? What is she doing here? I didn’t invite any one from our school – I even forgot it’s my birthday today.” I said and was so puzzled as how she knew it was my birthday. Then, a startled screams from outside made us frown. What were they doing now? We walk to the door, but stopped, not even touching the handle when we heard what our pack member yelled outside.

“Warlocks!”

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