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Photo: James Bradley as Daniel

Chapter 36

Angelo's P.O.V

I watched his back slowly disappearing from my view. Silence enveloped the rooftop and the cold breeze was brushing my wet cheeks. I kept on repeating in my head that it is for the best. I give love, yes I do. But I can contradict my own feeling if I'm stepping on someone's future. I love Jared and Daniel so much I couldn't bear to imagine how miserable their life will be if I continue to believe that me and Daniel have a future together. Perhaps, it's the reason why some of the gay love story doesn't end in happily ever after in most novels and movies. Perhaps, two guys loving each other romantically is really unnatural. Perhaps, the people picketing gay relationships are correct after all.

My head was clouded by different thoughts when Sebastian approached me from behind. "Sir." He said.

I didn't look on his direction. "Sebastian." I muttered. "Followed Daniel and make sure he will not do stupid things. Keep him safe, please."

"As you ordered, sir." He replied. He bowed to me and slowly walked to the lift to follow Daniel.

It's not that Daniel would do stupid things at all. It's just I'm worried that he might think of doing something stupid with his state of emotions. He can be looked tough outside but Daniel is as soft as me inside. Being with him every day for the past 5 months made it easy for me to see through him. There was no doubt that he was really hurting from the break-up that we just had.

On my way home, I dropped by Daniel's place to see Jared. I did the 'frozen' knock and as if on cue, Jared was opening the door with his Nana behind him. The 'frozen' knock was our signal that one of us is knocking.

The little angel jumped up on my arms and hugged me my neck gently. He buried his face on my neck for a second and kissed both my cheeks. "I missed you Papa." He whispered.

"I miss you too, sweetie." I replied while hugging him tight in my arms.

I turned to Sonia's direction and regarded her with a smile. "Hello mum."

"Hello son. Are you hungry? Jared and I baked some chocolate cookies." She offered. Indeed, the house smelt really good and it made my stomach grumbled from hunger. I realized that I never had anything since morning. The conversation with Chloe has spoiled by appetite big time.

"Actually, I am. Thank you." I accepted.

"Stay here and I'll prepare it for you, dear." She said, as she marched down to the kitchen while humming some 80's song that I couldn't remember the title.

I was about to stop and tell that I can do it by myself but Jared cut me off. "Papa..." he trailed.

"Yes, buddy?" I answered. I walked up to the chair and seated, Jared still in my arms. As soon we are seated, he snuggled up on my lap and I embraced him gently and softly. How I love the boy so much I will do anything to protect him. Even if it cost me my life, I will never let anyone hurt him.

"Where is Daddy?" Jared continued.

I was taken aback by Jared's sudden question that I didn't answered quickly. Thankfully, Sonia was there to save me from lying to Jared. I did't want to lie to the kid. Unfortunately, I didn't passed Sonia's sensor.

"Here you go, dear." She handed me a plate full of chocolate cookies and a glass of orange juice. Sonia was eyeing me carefully and I was pretty sure that she felt that something was off. "Jared honey, why don't you play with your little dinosaurs upstairs? Papa and I will just have a quick chat, okay?" She approached Jared.

Jared obeyed obediently and went upstairs after kissing my cheeks.

As soon as Jared was up in his room, Sonia regarded me with curious and worried eyes. "Are you okay, dear? Something is wrong. Tell me."

I opened my mouth to say something but there we no words came out from it. Instead, I cried like a child with heavy sobs in front of Sonia. "Shush dear one. Everything's gonna be okay." She hushed me gently as he embraced me with her arms.

I didn't know why I cried. Maybe because sometimes, it's hard for me to tell anybody how I really feel. Not because I don't know why, not because I don't know the purpose of telling it and specially, not because I don't trust them. It's because I can't never really find out the right words to make them understand exactly.

After a while, I calmed down. Sonia passed me the orange juice to stop my sobbing. "So honey, what's the problem, if you don't mind telling me. You know I am always here for you." She wiped my tears off from my cheeks. I have been crying all day and I feel really weak from it. But I don't care. One thing that I value about me is that I am not afraid of showing how I really feel. I might not good expressing my feeling in words but my emotions will tell the whole story. I am not afraid to cry.

I took another sip of juice before sighing heavily. "Mum, I broke up with Daniel. We are not together anymore."

Sonia gasped in surprise. She covered her mouth in shocked. "H-how? Why?" she asked.

"Jared needs a complete family." I started to explain but she cut me off quickly.

"But you are a wonderful and complete family to Jared already" she reasoned.

"What I mean is a real family. A father, a mother and a child." I looked down. "Jared needs his mother."

Sonia stood up and paced across the room. "Angelo, you are perfect together. Daniel, you and Jared is a family. It's you that Daniel and Jared needed in their life. Don't you know that?"

I was out of word from Sonia's reason. However, I already made up my mind. "Mum, please give Chloe a chance to prove herself as a good mother to Jared. Let's not refuse to give her the rights to Jared." Sonia stopped in front of me. She was looking down at me with tears in her eyes. "Let's do it for Jared. He needs a mother figure and I cannot give it to him."

Sonia kneeled down to my level and held my hands. "You have a good heart Angelo. Putting aside your own happiness for the others. But this will break Daniel. You know he loves you so much." Her tears felt on my hands.

"Mum, I love Daniel and Jared so much it pains me to do this. But we have to sacrifice my own feeling to give the best to your two boys." I explained.

Sonia once again stood up and went to seat beside me. "Does this mean that we'll never see you for a while now?"

I didn't think of it but I never planned on abandoning them. "I will visit as often as I can. If possible, I'll come when Daniel is not around. It would be easy for the two us not to see each other for a while." I sighed. "Mum, forgive me for doing this to Daniel."

"Angelo, I could never get angry at you ever. I hope you'll find your way back to Daniel again. You two belong together. Not Chloe or any other girls or boys. You make Daniel himself."

The day went by and I never heard from Sebastian at all. It was already nine in the evening but Sebastian hasn't back yet since I asked him to keep an eye for Daniel. I was worried that something might have happened to Daniel. But then again, Sebastian was a capable man who can handle everything.

I was pacing my room back and forth when an idea came to my mind. "Alex!" I thought to myself. I wanted to ask if he was with Daniel and wanted to apologize for being rude to him the other day.

As I was about to pick up my phone, it went off. I looked at the phone screen and saw Alex's name on it. I quickly slid the answer button to answer Alex. "Alex, I was about to call you as well. Look, I'm really sorry for being rude to you the other day. You didn't deserve it. I'm really sorry." I blurted out.

"Hey bud. It's all good." He answered and I could feel him smirking. Alex is the kind of guy who doesn't take stuff too seriously. He wasn't the type of guy who can be affected by words easily. But then again, I wasn't unfair to him and so I deserved to ask his forgiveness. "Anyways, Sonia called and told me that Daniel hasn't home yet. She said that she haven't heard anything from Daniel since morning. Mate, she is worried." He continued.

My heart was beating so fast from worry. My mind started to make up some 'what if's' right away. I was stunned. "Uhhh... Earth to Angelo. Still there?" Alex said, pulling me back from reality.

"Yes. I'm here." I answered. "Alex, I broke up with Daniel earlier. And I never seen him after our talk." I confessed.

"You did what now?" Alex gasped. "Angelo, what is going on with you two, seriously? You two are perfect together and now you are throwing all the happy moments you had together."

I seated on my bed realizing that I hurt Daniel so much. I hurt the guy who loves me so much and will do everything to make me happy. "I love him so much, but this is for the best. I didn't mean to hurt Daniel. But we have to protect Jared and give him a better life. A life that I can't give to them both." I heaved a sigh, trying to stop myself from crying again. As much as I don't mind people to see me crying, I'm afraid that some of them will take it in the wrong way. I'm afraid that they're understanding of crying means being pathetic and weak.

Alex didn't answer and all I could hear was silence. "Are you still there Alex?" I asked.

"Yes. I was just thinking of something to say that might change your mind. But I can't think of anything. All I know is that only you two can settle this thing down. We are here to support you guys." He said.

When I was about to answer back, the doorbell rang twice. Only Sebastian does the ringing pattern of two. "Sebastian is here now. I sent him to look after Daniel earlier." I walked to the door and heard Daniel's laughter outside. "Wait, Daniel is with him. He is in here at my apartment." I informed Alex.

"Great. I'll let Sonia know that he is alright." He mused, all the worry on his tone was gone. Daniel is such a lucky guy to have Alex as his best friend. "And Angelo..."

"Yes?"

"Mate, think about this carefully. The tribe are here if you need us. Okay?" he said sincerely. I smiled and felt warm inside for such a kind words of Alex. He then hung up.

I opened the door and was surprised as soon as Sebastian and Daniel came to my view. Sebastian was wearing his poker face as usual while giving a very intoxicated Daniel an equilibrium to stand.

"Sir, he was at No Limits since he left the university. He has been drinking all day and he thinks he is Spiderman." Sebastian explained. I diverted my eyes to see Daniel mimicking Spiderman when shooting webs. His childish side really comes out when he is drunk. I smiled when I remember the moment when Jared made him his horse and galloped around the house for good two hours. The father and son passed out from exhaustion in the kitchen in front of the refrigerator.

"There you go. I missed that smile." Daniel regarded me. His eyes was half-closed and he keeps on slamming on Sebastian whenever he tried to stand up alone.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked him.

He giggled like a child as he tried to walk up to me. He stumbled on me, luckily, I was ready to catch him. "Wow, you are a strong one, aren't you?" he chuckled. His arms were around my shoulder and his full weight was on me. "God, you are so beautiful. I love you so much." He whispered in my ear.

It gave me goosebumps hearing those words. I embraced his hips with my arms and savor his body heat cursing through my body. "I love you too."

"I know." He replied. He then looked at me and kissed me in the forehead. Of all the kisses he gives me, kissing me in the forehead is my favorite one. It gives me the feeling of being secured and the feeling of importance.

Sebastian then grabbed Daniel's right arm gently to support him. "Sir, should I put him to bed?" he asked.

"It's alright Seb, I can take care of him right here." I answered. Sebastian looked at me and then smiled. "Thank you Seb. You can take a rest now."

Sebastian nodded and closed the door. I then slowly walked Daniel to my room and gently placed him on my bed. As soon as he was laying down on the bed, he giggled and cooed. "Awww. My angel is going to take care of me." He tried to get up but I stopped him.

"Stay here." I said.

"Please stay here. I'm sick." He replied and frowned.

"You are not sick. You are drunk." I stood up. "I'll just gonna get a wet towel to clean you up. I'll be right back." I walked out of the room to get a warm water and a towel to clean him up. He reeked of alcohol and puke.

An alarming thought came into my mind all a sudden. 'Puke'. I quickly grabbed a plastic bag from the drawer and ran to my room. Fortunately, I was just in time when Daniel sat up and opened his mouth to vomit. I place the plastic bag on his mouth to catch his puke.

Daniel lied down once again. His eyes were closed and he was smiling. I went back to the kitchen again, the plastic bag with puke was on my hand. I throw the plastic bag in the bin and gathered the basin with warm water and towel.

I came back to my room to to see a sleeping Daniel. I placed the basin on the nightstand.and I looked at Daniel. We have been together for 5 months but I still couldn't stop admiring how handsome he was. His face was so smooth and his jaw line was strong. His facial feature was perfect.

I then proceeded to take off his clothes that smells alcohol and puke. It wasn't an easy work at all because he keep on turning from side to side. Him being heavy doesn't help my work either. After some struggles, I successfully took off his shirt, revealing his six pack abs and muscular chest. I tried my very best not to drool on my spot and reminded myself that I need to clean him.

Suddenly, the whole room went hot. Traces of sweat came out on my forehead when I realized that I had to take off his pants as well. Even if it was just me and Daniel in the room, my face still went red as a tomato. I decided not to take it off but his pant has some spots of puke. That gave me no choice but to take it off as well.

As I was unbuckling his belt, his hand grabbed mine. "Please, don't. I love my boyfriend." He mused, although his voice was mushy from intoxication. I smiled at that, even if it was so cliché. I can't believe that Daniel, even in his drunk state, was thinking about me.

"It's me Daniel. Don't worry." I whispered. He didn't answer back as he was back from his slumber.

As soon I took off Daniel's pants, my eyes almost drool from the heavenly view in front of me. It was a Greek god that was in front of me. In fact, he can be mistaken as a model for real. I gulped and forced myself to start my work.

I brushed the wet towel gently on his upper body, making sure that he won't wake up. His hard muscled was touching my skin and I could feel the warmth emitting from his body. I then went down to his lower part. I tried my very best to control myself. It was distracting to see his bulge protruding on his brief while I'm cleaning him. It was the hardest job in my life.

As soon as I finished him cleaning, I took all the thing in the kitchen. I went back to the room with two plastic bags in my hand just in case the drunk guy decided to blow up once again.

I seated on his side and observed his peaceful sleeping face. His blonde hair was covering his forehead. I swat it gently and kissed him the forehead.

"I love you so much." I said. "I'm sorry if I'm doing this to you. We can make through in this one." I kissed his cheeks.

AS if on cue, he grabbed me with his strong hand. I was surprised and all but as soon as I realized what he wanted to do, I voluntarily lied down beside him. His strong arms wrapped around my body and his legs are on my legs. I tucked ourselves in the quilt while shared the warmth together.

"Good night Daniel." I whispered, not expecting for him to answer back.

But I was surprised when he did. "I love you, my angel."

A tear fell from my eyes as I heard the sweetest word from him. Slowly, I fell from a peaceful and deep slumber. Daniel's arms were my armor and protector.

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