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Somehow, Ella and I ended up going out together that Wednesday afternoon. At the moment, we were sitting at a table in a cafe I'd never been to before, but that was in the way from my college to the park I usually went to.

I refrained from glancing around as soon as I sat down, knowing that we were surrounded by people around my age, that were chatting loudly to each other, generating a low but somewhat to me overpowering hum. I would've never gone to such a place, if I'd had a say in it. Unfortunately, though, I didn't, because Ella had dragged me there even before I could finish agreeing with her.

I took off my coat and draped it around the back of my chair, hesitating a bit before deciding to take my little notepad out of the pocket for safekeeping. I sighed, looking down at it and grazing the dark brown cover. It really was about to end, Harry had been attentive with his gift for my birthday. It felt like it had happened centuries ago, it was weird to realise that it had only been a couple of weeks since my birthday.

"Oh, hi!" Ella said all of sudden, beaming at the person that had just approached our table, shaking me out of my thoughts.

I glanced up, and I felt my heart drop almost instantly when I recognised the blonde hair. There was no way that he'd randomly stumbled towards our table. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, making sure that the sound was imperceptible, my eyes not being able to leave the person in front of us.

"He asked to join, I hope you don't mind!" Ella chirped next to me, and when Aiden smiled at me, sitting down next to me, I knew that that day had suddenly taken another turn for the worst. How was I supposed not to think of my issue with Harry, when another issue was staring in front of me? At that point, I just felt like leaving.

Aiden let out a chuckle at Ella's words. "Hey, Sierra" he said quietly to me under Ella's stare, before looking up to focus on the blonde-haired girl in front of him. "Well, as a treat for inviting me as well, I'll go order. What do you girls want?"

"Oh, just a sugar-free soy caramel latte, no foam" Ella said, shooting him a condescending smile.

He nodded, managing to hide his surprise at the specific order, and turned to look at me, standing up but waiting for me to reply as well.

"Just a cappuccino, please" I breathed, already feeling the need to end Ella. Why would she allow him to tag along with us? She had to know that I didn't like Aiden by that point - and that he definitely hadn't understood it yet.

He nodded, quickly disappearing towards the till, and I sighed again, putting the notepad that I was still holding tightly in my hands on the table and leaning against the back of the chair, shooting Ella a little glance.

"What? He asked, it would've been rude to say no!" She just said, giving me a little shrug, acting like she had no idea of the reason why her decision had left me unsettled. "Besides, I know you argued with Harry! It's time to stop wallowing in self pity."

I just shook my head at her words, and we spent the following couple of minutes in silence while we waited for Aiden to come back with our orders.

He finally did and sat down, putting a cup in front of everyone of us. He handed me mine quite roughly, but I managed to push away my notepad fast enough not to have cappuccino spill on its cover.

"Your cappuccino seemed a bit dry as an order, so I made them add caramel, hope you don't mind" he stated, side-glancing at me, taking his cup and softly blowing on it.

I took my cup, giving it a suspicious glance, before taking a little sip, my nose scrunching up at the excessive sweetness. "It's fine" I murmured, even though it wasn't true at all. If I'd ordered my cappuccino in a certain way, he was supposed to know I wanted to drink it in that way. But I would've never told him that, and considering that he'd paid for it anyway, it wasn't a big deal after all.

"Oh, you have a notebook?" He said all of sudden, eyeing the little book I'd accidentally moved between us and taking it before I could have the chance to say a single word.

"Yes" I simply replied, managing to get a hold of it just as he was opening it, moving it towards me quickly and widening my eyes as a little paper containing a small sketch of Harry fell out of it.

Aiden took it quickly and stared at it, a frown on his face. "Woah, this is good" he said, nodding to himself. "You're like, proper obsessed with him, right? What does he think about you sketching him all the time? I mean, it's kinda weird."

I felt a sudden blush rush to my cheeks at his words. "He doesn't mind" I replied, hoping that my words were true. After all, I'd never asked Harry what was his opinion about having me draw him quite often - which I certainly did, most of the time without asking. Maybe I should've started to ask for his permission beforehand, just to make sure that he was on the same page as me. But then again, he'd also never complained about it, and he had in fact caught me drawing him more than a couple of times. Could I really say, though, that he would've let me know if something I did annoyed him? He didn't seem the kind of person that would tell someone else something like that, so he probably wouldn't have.

"Don't talk about Harry, Aiden" Ella said, sipping her - whatever that was, giving him an eloquent glance.

He widened his brown eyes slightly as her suggestion made its way into his mind. "What? Are you having problems with him?" He asked, seeming to realise right after that it was none of his business. "Anyway, that's not important! We're here to forget, aren't we? Could've told me beforehand, I would've asked if they had any vodka to lace your cappuccino."

I let out a chuckle at his words, getting a hold of myself right after, knowing that Aiden could've easily supposed that me laughing at what he'd said meant so much more than what it actually did. It was too late though, because he gave me a self-accomplished smile that made me want to look away.

I did and glanced around at the multitude of students surrounding us. Right in front of me, at the other side of the cafe, there was a group of about five girls all crammed around a table, that seemed to be talking to each other excitedly, their books forgotten on the wooden surface. Next to their table, there was a boy with headphones, his back curved as he highlighted some sentences out of a heavy-looking book. Thanks to the space between the two tables, I could see the couple that was sitting behind, that seemed to be sharing quiet words between themselves. Behind them, against the wall, there were some boys all crowded around a laptop, and next to them, a single girl was staring around, just as I was, earphones into her ears. I let my gaze drift towards my right, discovering that the rest of the people in there weren't much different from the ones I'd just analysed, until my gaze fell on a boy that was sitting in the corner of the room, a forgotten cup of something in front of him as he seemed to be attentively writing something in some kind of notebook. He passed his hand through his dark curls, distress evident on his face, biting down on his lower lip as he stared at the page in front of him, before lifting his pencil again and seeming to add a word, or correct a mistake. The frown on his face relaxed and he licked his dark pink lips quickly, soothing the skin he'd been harshly biting on. All of sudden, seeming to sense my stare on him, he looked up, and his green eyes met mine.

I widened mine and turned away quickly, a slight warmth creeping to my cheeks at the thought of having been caught staring. What was he doing there, anyway? Even though it was clear in the forgotten cup in front of him and his position that he'd been there for way longer than I had, it was still weird to see him in such a place. He'd never really struck me as the kind of person that would go to a cafe to... study? Write? I wish I knew what he was doing. I glanced towards him again, discovering that his eyes hadn't left my table since he'd looked up.

"What are you looking at?" Aiden said all of sudden, and I turned to look at him quickly, not wanting him to turn around and see Harry as well.

"Nothing" I replied quickly, taking my notepad and shoving it into the pocket just to pretend to be doing something as I tried to figure out what my next move should've been.

Aiden nodded, still sipping from his cup with a somewhat smug look on his face. "Oh okay" he replied, letting it go quickly - a bit quicker than I would've expected, if I had to be honest. "Well, what about we have a walk together later? I can drive you back home" he said suggestively, putting down his cup and putting his hand on my arm, scooting a bit closer to me.

I straightened my back all of sudden, retracting my arm in what I hoped was a gentle way, looking up all of sudden just to discover that Harry's green eyes were burning into mine from the corner of the room.

He slammed his notebook shut, sending me a sharp gaze, before standing up quickly, so harshly that I faintly heard his chair scrape against the floor from where I was sitting. He gathered his stuff fast, sending another deadly glare our way before starting to walk towards us quickly. For a second I thought he would've reached our table, but then he turned direction quickly, opening the glass door that was right next to where we were sitting and getting out of the cafe, walking down the sidewalk quickly, not even stopping to put on his coat.

Instinctively, I stood up as well, ready to follow him.

"Sierra, Aiden asked you a question" Ella said just as I was about to grab my coat, and I gave her a glance, just barely paying attention to what she'd said.

"Uh, yeah, maybe" I said absentmindedly, looking out of the big window just to discover that Harry had already disappeared. I sighed, sitting down again, knowing that there was no use in running after him when I didn't even know where he'd gone.

Aiden gave me a surprised glance, not having expected my answer. "What, really?" He asked, shock in his voice.

I gave him a confused look. "What?" I asked back, not having any idea of what had just happened.

"You'll have a walk with me?" He clarified, slowly putting his cup down again as he waited for my reply.

"What? No" I said automatically, frowning when I realised how rude it must've sounded. "I mean, I'm kind of busy so I'm afraid I can't" I replied, and it wasn't a complete lie. I did have to finish the drawing for the competition, anyway. The last day was quickly approaching, and I still wasn't done with it. Blame it on all the things that had happened in the meantime.

"Oh, that's a shame" Aiden just replied, and I just gave him a little nod, not really knowing what to say to him.

We stayed there for another hour, that I spent just barely listening to whatever Ella and Aiden were saying, not being able to push away the feeling that I'd just been caught doing something I shouldn't have done.

When the time to go away arrived, I embraced it gladly, and was quick to say goodbye and rush away towards the bus stop, only wanting to go back home at that point. Somehow, going out had ended up making me feel even worse than before.

•  •  •

I was sketching when I suddenly heard my doorbell ring from downstairs. I sighed, standing up and putting my drawing down on my bed, exiting my bedroom and walking down the stairs with a hint of annoyance in my step. I'd been at home for barely an hour - and everyone that draws knows that forty-five minutes aren't enough to make a drawing.

I shrugged it away, knowing that whoever it was had no idea of my predicament, and walked towards the front door, opening it with a fast move, my breath dying in my throat when I saw who was on the other side.

"Harry?" I said, giving a confused glance to the boy in front of me, trying to wonder what he was doing on my doorstep. When he'd fled from the cafe I'd been certain it would've been almost impossible to get him to talk to me again - I definitely hadn't expected him to come my way willingly, and so soon.

He bit his lower lip nervously, shifting his gaze to whatever was behind me for a quick second as he instinctively covered his hands with the sleeves of his black hoodie to protect himself from the cold air, his coat clearly forgotten into his car. "I'm sorry" he whispered in the end, and if his simple presence in front of me hadn't surprised me enough, that certainly did.

"What?" I asked him, not to have him repeat it, given that it was clear that it'd been hard for him to say it, but simply because I wasn't sure I'd heard him well at all.

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair in a distressed motion. "I'm not a player. I don't..." he paused, seeming to search for the right thing to say. "I don't enjoy fucking up other people's lives" he said. "I know that's what you've gathered from what I said, but that isn't what I meant."

I gave him a little nod, starting to become even more confused over what was going on. Was Harry really apologising? Harry, out of all people? I'd never heard him apologise before - I didn't even think he knew how to.

"It was never my intention to hurt you" he said faintly, seeming to get more and more uneasy by the second. "I like you too" he whispered. "I just... I don't know what I'm doing - I don't even know I'm supposed to do what I'm doing - and then I panic and say stupid shit." He sighed, looking down for a second. "I know I'm hard to deal with, so if you don't want anything to do with this anymore, I understand." He paused for a few seconds, before adding something else. "I'm not the kind of person to do grand gestures to win you back, so if that's what you're waiting for, it won't happen. But... I'm here, if you want me."

I sighed, knowing in the second that he spoke those last words that I would've given in. Despite what he'd spat at me during our argument, I knew I knew Harry well enough to know that it hadn't been easy for him to come to my house at all, and that it'd been even harder for him to open up enough to tell me those things. He definitely needed to be more open when it came to his feelings and he definitely had messed up during our argument, but I knew it wouldn't have got any further than that. He'd messed up, but he'd acknowledged it, and that should've been it. I was never the kind of person that stayed mad at someone for centuries after they'd apologised, if I knew their apology was truthful. It just wasn't healthy for anyone to act like that.

For that reason, it really shouldn't have come as a surprise when I shifted to the side and opened the door a little wider. "Come in" I said gently, allowing him to walk inside my house, realising that he was freezing.

He walked in quickly, and I shut the door behind him. We stood in my entrance for a couple of seconds, staring at each other in silence, before I spoke again.

"Let's go upstairs" I simply said, turning around before he could reply and walking upstairs, with him following right behind me.

We arrived in my bedroom and I quickly moved my sketch to my nightstand, sitting down on my bed with my back against the headboard. He took off his shoes and sat at the end of my bed, his black socks a strong contrast to my white duvet, leaning his back against the wall. I watched him in silence as he brought his knees to his chest, staring down at the floor, not saying a single word. After a while he turned his gaze to me, and I looked down quickly.

"I have to finish my drawing" I simply said, desperately trying to give myself something to do, fetching the sketch and the pencil from my nightstand, taking the book I'd left on my bed and putting my sheet on it to lean on while I was drawing.

I started sketching, the sound of my pencil scratching against the paper finally breaking the silence, while my mind worked quickly to figure out what was next in line. Maybe I should've said I liked him again when he said it. He was supposed to know I did like him, considering I'd been the first to say it, but what if he'd been left unsettled by the fact that I hadn't said it back when he had, and that was why he seemed to be so... shut down? I glanced up at him from over my drawing, observing the length of his eyelashes as he stared at my floor, the way a strand of hair had fallen on his forehead while he was looking down, the pinkness of his lips, darker in some spots because of how hard he'd bitten down on his lower lip, the minty shade of green of his irises that I could just barely see from where I was sitting, the soft but sharp line of his jawline, the way his eyebrows slightly furrowed when a thought crossed his mind. His beauty was enough to make anyone cry. It was raw but somewhat polished, and so spontaneous that it almost seemed thought through. It felt like a night on a boat, when the starry sky and the water become one and it feels like you're on a ship in the middle of the universe, that moment in which your balance leaves you and your head spins but you can't help but realise that, for some reason, it all just makes sense.

All of sudden he glanced at me again, just like earlier that day at the cafe, and I blushed slightly, going back to looking at my drawing, drawing some lines on the side just to make it look like I was actually doing something. I looked up again, not being able to keep my stare away from him for too long, discovering that his eyes were still on me, as if he hadn't even been grazed by the embarrassment of our gazes meeting.

I glanced down again, biting my lower lip nervously, actually trying to go back to my drawing, but before I knew it, I was raising my stare again, discovering that he was still observing me. Inadvertently, I let my gaze fall to his lips, and I inhaled slowly as he, by twist of fate or pure premeditation, wet his lips with his tongue, the action taking a second more than it should've. I looked down again, shaking my head, reminding myself not to look up ever again.

All of sudden my drawing was pushed out of my hands and, before I knew it, Harry's lips were on mine.

I let out a little whine into his mouth, caught by surprise by his action, but I closed my eyes, my hand automatically finding its way into his curls as he licked into my mouth, a shiver running down my spine and warmth spreading through me at the way he wrapped his arm around my waist. My mind went blank, all I could focus on being the sweet taste of his lips on mine as he pulled me closer to him, tangling his fingers in the fabric of my shirt. The kiss was sweet, but somewhat rough, with a hint of harshness that I'd rarely seen in him. He bit lightly, almost playfully, on my lower lip as we broke apart, our breaths sped up.

I looked at him, my eyes wide, taking in the sudden redness of his lips, slightly swollen from the kiss, as my heartbeat slowed down, glancing into his eyes just to find out that he was already looking at me, waiting for me to say something.

"You can't just come here whenever you want and take everything you want" I whispered in the end, surprising myself with my own words.

He seemed taken aback as well. "I know" he replied quietly, getting a hold of himself quickly enough to give me a reply.

I nodded, slightly pushing him away, and I went to sit against the headboard again, looking down as I tried with come to terms with what had just happened. Harry had kissed me. Harry had said he liked me, and he kissed me. He kissed me because he liked me. It was a weird thought to wrap my head around. Why would Harry like me? It made no sense to me.

I glanced up again, Harry was looking down at the drawing he'd put aside, seeming to be lost in his thoughts as well. "If we want this to work we need to change something" I said all of sudden, and he looked up at me, furrowing his eyebrows at my words.

"I know that I'm not telling you some things" he replied, assuming that was what I was talking about quickly. "I'm not doing it because I don't want to tell you, but because it hurts to talk about them."

I shook my head, letting him know that wasn't what I was thinking about. "You need to be more open with your feelings, Harry" I told him. "You can't just... try to push me away or run away when things get to personal. It feels really shitty when you do that."

He gave me a slight nod. "I don't know how to deal with... this all. But I'm going to try" he said, and I took it, knowing that was the most I could've ever hoped to get from Harry.

I nodded to myself, bringing my knees to my chest and staring at Harry, that was still sitting on my bed with his legs crossed. I cleared my throat, frowning at the silence that had just fallen over us again. Why was it so hard to make conversation with him sometimes, and so easy to do it some other times? I had no idea.

"So..." I said after a while, managing to catch his attention, detaching my back from the headboard and sliding closer to him. "How's your cat doing?" I asked, wanting to make conversation, but at the same time curious about his answer.

He shot me a confused glance, but a flicker of recognition rushed through his eyes right after. "Uh" he said, looking down and frowning slightly, seeming to be actually thinking of my question. "It's... there" he replied faintly, and I couldn't tell whether it was a good thing or not. I would've said it was a definite step forward, considering that the last time we'd talked about it he'd insisted that it was long buried, but the tone he used made me think that he wasn't perceiving it in the same way.

He side-glanced at me, a look that I couldn't recognise into his eyes. "Maybe you should continue your drawing."

I hope you liked this chapter x

Miki

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