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"Sierra" I heard someone call me in the second I entered the classroom and I looked up, discovering that my teacher was looking at me.
I slowly put my bag down next to my desk, taking my time as I took the coat off and carefully wrapped it around the back of the chair under her attentive stare, before finally deciding that I was done and walking up to her desk at the front of the class.
"Congratulations" She simply said, quickly putting an open magazine on the wooden desk between us as soon as I neared her.
I widened my eyes and my gaze drifted to the piece of paper quickly while I covered the last steps between us, immediately recognising the lines of my own drawing on the sheet. I took it quickly and spun it around, widening my eyes when I realised that it was indeed my artwork, and quickly reading the few sentences at the bottom of the page, my lips parting in surprise as I let my eyes scan over it multiple times, not believing the words printed on the paper right away.
Third place. My drawing had won the third place. It wasn't bad at all for an artwork that I'd put together in barely a couple of days. I couldn't believe that I'd made it, and I couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if I'd spent a longer time on the drawing I'd sent in. My mind immediately drifted to the drawing I'd made of Harry, and I wondered how that one would've done instead. I shrugged the thought away, not wanting to think about it in that moment, not wanting it to stain my win.
"You can keep it if you want" she said, barely acknowledging my presence as she sat down at her desk, pushing the magazine towards me with her hand. "It's not like there's someone else who made it anyway."
I nodded slowly, ignoring her last comment and taking it with me as I made my way back to my desk.
The rest of the class went by in a blur and, before I even knew it, the bell rang, signalling the end of it.
I took the magazine, that was still open on that same page on my desk, and I finally closed it, giving my drawing one last glance even though I perfectly knew that I would've found it there when I would've opened it again. I put it in my bag and closed it quickly before putting on my coat and taking all my belongings and leaving the class just as fast.
• • •
"I won third place" I said all of sudden while we were sitting on my bed.
Harry looked up instantly from the book he was studying on at my words. He stared at me for a few seconds as he tried to place the meaning of my words. "That's great" he said at the end, giving me an enigmatic glance.
I smiled, nodding and scooting to the side so that I could take the magazine from my bag, that I'd left at the bottom of my bed. I pulled it out quickly and rushed through the pages, ignoring the first two prizes and showing him mine. "I mean, it's no first prize but I think it's still good?" I said, my question coming out as a sentence as I wondered if he was happy about the result as well, or if he was disappointed because he thought I could've done better.
He finally put his school book down and took the magazine as I handed it to him, staring at it for a few seconds with the same enigmatic look on his face. "The first one was still better" he told me, his voice low, and I rolled my eyes at his words, knowing that he couldn't see me.
"You know I spilled latte on it" I told him gently, wanting him to know that I would've never replaced him if I'd had another possibility. We both knew that he wouldn't have been my last model and that I would've worked with many other people in the future, and we both knew that it was perfectly normal and didn't mean anything, but for some reason I couldn't help but feel like I'd betrayed him in some way by drawing Liam, and I couldn't help but think that he too felt at least a little betrayed by my choice, considering the way he usually talked about it. I wish I could've just told him that it wasn't a big deal at all and that I certainly wouldn't have stopped drawing him just because Liam had modelled for me once, but considering that we'd both come close when Harry had been forced to model for me, it wasn't so difficult to realise why he was so unsettled by it.
He nodded, deciding not to address the matter any further, proving me that he was, indeed, still upset about it.
I sighed, scooting closer to him. "Harry" I called him gently, putting my hand on his thigh to get his attention. "You know you're still my favourite model, right?" I asked him, smiling to myself when I saw the corners of his lips turn up a bit at my words.
"I certainly hope so" he replied quietly, still not raising his gaze from the book, even though we both knew he'd reread the same sentence at least twice, the little smile still on his lips and the faintest blush I'd ever seen colouring his cheeks of a slight pinkness, that was barely noticeable.
I stared at him for a few seconds, a slightly concerned look in my eyes as I spoke. "We should... celebrate, about the competition" I suggested, and I felt my breath stop in my throat as soon as I said it. I silently waited for him to reply, my heart beating quicker in my chest by the second because of the sudden nervousness. What if he'd lost interest in it? Or more like, in me. It wouldn't have been an absurd turn of events for sure. Or even worse, what if he hadn't understood what I was suggesting? I was quite sure I would've never dared to bring it up in a more explicit way.
He stared at me for a long couple of seconds before replying. "Should we open a bottle of champagne?" He asked me, his voice low and somewhat alluring as he spoke, making it clear that he knew exactly what he was doing by artistically going around the subject.
"We surely should" I simply replied, quickly deciding to go along with his words, watching as a hint of playfulness flickered through his irises when he understood what I was doing. I stared at him for a couple of seconds before speaking again. "Even though, I must admit I have another idea too" I said quietly, crawling closer to him, as he was still lying down on his side on my bed.
He watched me as I came closer, his silence making me nervous, and I almost stopped in my tracks. I took a deep breath when I reached him, slowly, not wanting him to notice it, as I quickly tried to decide what to do next. For some reason, I'd always thought that whenever I would've felt up for it I could've just let him know and he would've done the rest, but the way he was looking at me in that moment told me that, more than chasing, he seemed to like being chased. For the first time I realised that his constant telling me he was up for being intimate with me hadn't been his way of trying to get me to have sex with him, but of simply letting me know that I could've come onto him whenever I would've felt like it.
I stared at him, my eyes wide, not knowing what to do with my new realisation, and then, carefully, I leant down and connected my lips to his. He shut his book as soon as I did and put it on the nightstand without parting from the kiss, missing it of just a little and sending it to crash on the floor instead. He completely ignored it though and sat up, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him. I sighed against his lips as he deepened the kiss, his hand travelling up and down my spine a couple of times before finally settling down on my hip, his grip on me getting harsher when I passed my fingers through his hair, lightly tugging at it.
He broke away from the kiss just to leave a trail of kisses down my neck, and I felt a shiver run down my spine at his action, feeling as if the air around us had just become hotter. He gently bit down on my shoulder when he realised that my grip on his shirt had got tighter, slowly and carefully, as if he was trying to understand what worked. My breath hitched in my throat at the unexpected action and I felt him smile slightly against my skin before kissing the same spot. His hand slid under my shirt, and I surprised both him and myself when I stopped it.
He suddenly stopped in his tracks and detached his body from mine, kneeling between my legs on the mattress and putting some distance between us. "Did I do something wrong?" He asked, slightly breathless, confusion evident in his voice, and I shook my head quickly, not wanting him to think that it was his fault.
"No, it was... just a thought" I said quickly, looking away from his bright green eyes, that still held a puzzled look in them.
He nodded slowly, looking at the side for a second. "What is it?" He asked, but I just shrugged.
"It's just stupid" I replied, hoping that it would've been enough to get him to leave it, because it really was stupid, and I didn't want to make the situation any more ridiculous.
"Please tell me, Sierra" Harry said, not seeming annoyed by my stalling, but making it clear that he wouldn't have dropped it without having got an answer.
I sighed, looking down, unable to look at him as I spoke. "I mean, you've been with many people, haven't you?"
There were a few seconds of silence before the reply. "I'm clean" he said quietly, and I looked up quickly, widening my eyes at his words.
"That wasn't what I meant, oh my goodness" I replied fast, suddenly wanting to bury myself even though I hadn't thought about that at all in the first place. "I meant, you've seen many people, and you're you, and I'm... me" I added quickly, suddenly deciding to tell him what I was thinking about, because it definitely was way better than what he'd supposed.
He furrowed his eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, seeming to truly have no idea of what was going on.
I shrugged, looking down. "I just don't want to disappoint you, that's all."
He put his index under my chin, raising my head to get me to look at him. "You could never disappoint me, Sierra" he said. "Besides, I've already seen you shirtless."
"You haven't seen me naked though" I replied, not really being reassured by his words.
He gave me a little glance before taking my hand and passing it under his chin, allowing me to feel a little bump on the skin before raising his head. "I crashed my bike when I was eight" he told me quietly, and I discovered that there was a scar under his chin, so light that I would've hardly noticed it if he hadn't brought my attention to it, but definitely there. He let out a little laugh. "My mum freaked out."
I looked at him and gave him a little nod when he looked at me again, kind of understanding what he was doing.
His green eyes stared at me for a while longer before he undid the button of his jeans and pulled down the zip under my very confused stare. He kicked his dark trousers away, remaining in only his boxers, before twisting a bit to the side and lifting the black fabric covering part of his right thigh up, showing me another larger, but shorter scar, that seemed also way more recent, almost at his waistline. "This is from the first time I accidentally overdosed" he said, "about four years ago."
I gave him a little nod, trying to act as if it wasn't a big deal even though I was surprised, because I knew that acting shocked would've done no good in the situation. "On what?" I asked, not being able to help myself, hoping that it wasn't a sensitive topic to him. It didn't seem to be at least, considering that it had happened again not too long ago, and he seemed quite unbothered by it.
"Uh, cocaine. It was a poor decision" he said, adding the last part a bit quicker, as if he was afraid I would've judged him because of it, but I didn't say a word, so he continued. "I fell on a table with bottles on it, many broke and one hurt me" he said, grazing it with his thumb before pulling the fabric down again and giving me a serious look. "Nobody is perfect, Sierra."
I looked at him, giving him a little nod. "But some people are less perfect than others" I said quietly, appreciating what he was doing, but still not entirely convinced. I'd never thought about it before, but in that moment it was quite obvious that he'd seen much better than me, and the thought of him comparing me to the girls from his past scared me.
He leaned closer to me, putting his hands on the mattress on either side of my waist. "Perfection is boring" he said quietly against my ear, his hair tickling the side of my face.
"Are you boring?" I asked him quietly, turning my head to look at him.
He hummed. "Existentially, you have no idea" he murmured quietly against my lips, his voice velvety as the words rolled off his tongue.
I let out a little laugh at his words, putting my hand on his chest and pushing him backwards just enough to be able to talk to him. "That was a good answer."
"I pride myself in giving good answers" he said, his voice low, and I couldn't help but smile at that.
"Are there other things you pride yourself in?" I asked him gently, wanting to go along with the little game he'd started.
"Most certainly, allow me to show you one" he replied lowly before leaning forward again to kiss me.
I inched back as soon as I realised what was going to happen. "I'm not one for smooth talking, you know?" I told him. "Even though you surely know how to put up a show."
"That's another of the things I pride myself in" he said gently, seeming to finally realise that we weren't gonna go back to it anytime soon.
"Hang on what?" I said all of sudden, sliding back quickly to get a better look at him. "Harry, do you want to do this?" I asked quickly. Normally it would've seemed a weird question considering the situation we were in, but I couldn't help but remember all the times I'd seen Janette make a move on him without him telling her anything despite it being painfully obvious that he didn't want it, and I wondered if he truly wanted to be intimate with me in that moment, or if he was only doing it to go along with what I wanted.
He sat back, an indecipherable look in his eyes. "Do you?" He asked, a little frown on his face, as if all of sudden he couldn't follow what was going on anymore.
"No, I'm asking if you want it" I replied, quickly noticing that, for some reason, he was trying to deflect the question. I didn't want him to feel like he had to be in the mood just because I was, because that wasn't how it was supposed to work.
The thin wall of defence he'd put up quickly as soon as I'd first asked him shattered to the ground. "I do" he replied quietly, still seeming extremely confused by my question.
"Are you sure?" I asked him gently, looking at him straight in the eyes, wanting to make sure that he wasn't lying to me.
He nodded, still a hint of something in his eyes. "Yeah" he said, his voice low.
"You know I won't get mad if you say no" I said, wanting to exclude the possibility of him going along with it only because he didn't want to offend me, or make me feel bad.
"Sierra, I do" he finally said, the tone of his voice steadier than before. "I've wanted to make you mine for months."
I stared at him for a few seconds in silence. "That's a little more explicit than I expected" I admitted, considering that I really hadn't thought he would've been so clear. The thought of him having wanted me in that way for months made me feel kind of giddy, even though I knew it shouldn't have been surprising at all, considering that he'd always been quite vocal about it. There was just something in the idea of him wanting me, that made me feel in ways I couldn't define.
"Is that a problem?" He asked, his tone just slightly gentler, but not seeming to have any intention to take his previous words back.
"No, I like the honesty" I told him, and it was the truth. I liked the fact that he was so open about some things, especially considering how closed off he was about everything else. It was a way to bring a little light to what was going on in his head, and it wasn't much, but I surely would've taken it.
He nodded, finally leaning in and crashing his lips against mine. I pulled him closer instantly, brushing my fingers through his hair at the naps of his neck, a soft sound leaving his lips at my action. He wrapped his arm around my waist, bringing me closer to him, and it was in that instant that I stopped him.
"Wait" I said, and he instantly stopped his actions, but didn't move away as he waited for me to continue. "The door" I said, still breathless because of his actions. "Lock the door."
He sent me a confused glance. "Are your parents at home?" He asked, not understanding why I would've wanted the door shut otherwise, but I shook my head.
"No, but I don't want them to come in if they do get home" I said, and he gave me a little nod, sitting up again.
"Where's the key?" He asked me, and I sat up as well, quickly opening the drawer of my nightstand and taking the key inside before handing it to him.
He took it and stood up, closing the door and locking it quickly, leaving the key inside as he made his way back to the bed slowly. He stopped in the middle of the room, raising his gaze from the floor to stare at me, a serious look held in his dilated pupils, and I suddenly couldn't help but feel like a gazelle in front of a lion.
He finally got on the bed again, crawling closer to me just as I'd had not too long ago, not a hint of hesitation in his movements. "Are you sure?" He mused, quietly but gently, and I nodded.
"I am" I said, and he gave me a little nod, happy with the reply, before leaning closer and crashing his lips against mine again.
I ignored the slight pang of insecurity that hit me when he slid his hands under my shirt, helping me to take it off before kissing me again. I threw it on the opposite side of the room, hoping it would fall on the couch, but not stopping to see where it had ended up before kissing Harry again, my fingers gripping his clothed shoulder. I wanted to get rid of the little fabric separating us, but I didn't dare to take off his shirt, or slide my hands under it. He moved to kiss my jawline and he seemed to have understood what was going through my mind, because he took my hands and placed them on his hips, slowly making them rise up, making me realise that he wanted to get rid of his shirt just as much as I did.
I pulled the material off and he didn't waste any second in connecting his lips to mine again, his tongue delving into my mouth as he pushed my back against the wall, the cold surface making a shiver run down my naked spine. I let out a little moan when he parted away from the kiss again and left a trail of kisses down my neck, stopping right above my collarbone and gently biting my skin, sucking on it lightly and making my head spin. When he was done he wet it with his tongue, soothing the spot, before moving on and grazing the fabric of my white bra with his lips. It was in that moment that he detached himself a bit from me and gave me a slightly hesitant look as he played with the clasp of my bra.
I gave him a little nod and he quickly undid it with one hand, throwing it on the floor before pressing his body against mine, the direct contact with his bare skin annihilating my senses. He turned us around and I fell down on the mattress, and he crawled on top of me, kissing me again. I experimentally ran my hands down his spine, noticing the little halt in his breathing and enjoying the realisation that I too did have an effect on him, just like he had an effect on me.
It was odd to think about it, considering that only six months before I'd been sure he would've never even talked to me - and so probably was he. I almost couldn't believe that the boy I'd spent such a long time drawing was now between my legs, and considering how we'd first got to know each other, it definitely felt a bit weird, not in the way that would've made me want to push him away and crawl in the corner of the bed, but in the one that simply made me acknowledge it and barely care about it while his hand gripped my thigh.
"This is weird" I said all of sudden, voicing my thoughts for some reason, and he quickly stopped his actions, detaching himself from me just enough to properly look at me in the eyes.
"Why?" He asked, confused, and I couldn't really blame him because of it.
I shifted a bit under his weight, moving in a slightly different position, a slight warmth finding its way on my cheeks. "Because like, you're my model" I said quietly, letting him know what I'd been thinking about.
He furrowed his eyebrows at my words, the confusion held in his green irises not diminishing. "I'm your boyfriend" he simply stated.
I nodded quickly, not wanting him to think that I was dismissing our relationship in any way. "Yes but I spent months drawing you, and now..." I let my voice drift away and gave him a little shrug, not really knowing how to explain what was going on in my mind.
He seemed to understand anyway, though, and he visibly relaxed. "Aren't you curious to know how I feel?" He asked instead, the suggestiveness in his words making my eyes widen.
I stared at him for a couple of seconds, in silence, my eyebrows raised, and then I started laughing, the absurdity of his words finally catching up to me.
"Oh, quit it" he replied, seeming slightly annoyed, bur the little smile curving his lips telling another story. He lowered his head, unsuccessfully trying to cover up that he'd blushed slightly, and pushed his hips against mine, eliciting a little moan from me.
"Oh" I said, his small action momentarily leaving me breathless. "Well, I am now" I added after a couple of seconds, looking up at him and brushing his dark curls back with my hand.
"You're what?" He asked, slightly confused, his mind seeming to have quickly drifted to something else - understandably so.
I looked at him in the eyes, wanting to see what reaction I would've got out of him with my words. I knew I was playing a dangerous game, considering the situation we were in, and that it was Harry, but I couldn't help myself. "Curious to know how you feel" I said, letting out a little laugh right after.
Harry let out a little chuckle, and I couldn't help but be glad that he was finding the situation just as entertaining as I was. "This isn't supposed to be funny" he murmured into my ear, his voice warm.
"But it is" I said quietly in reply, and he sighed, rolling off me and lying down next to me, his back to me. I stared at him in shock for a couple of seconds, not believing that he'd actually got mad about it, and then I slid closer to him, brushing his dark hair back and lying down against his back, my hand on his side. "I'm sorry" I told him gently, deciding to apologise just in case he truly was mad. "The truth is, I'm quite curious to know how you-" I continued, but I was quickly interrupted by him.
"Dare to say that and I'm getting dressed and leaving" he muttered, the warmth in his tone proving that he wasn't nearly as offended as he was pretending to be.
"You're the one that said it first!" I complained quickly, letting out a little laugh.
He turned his head, but not enough to look at an. "How was I supposed to know you would've started laughing?"
"Okay, I'm sorry" I said in reply, not wanting him to feel like I'd wanted to offend his pride - which I most definitely hadn't. "Will you let me know how you-"
I didn't even manage to finish the sentence before he turned around. "Shut up" he said, right before pressing his lips against mine.
He easily got between my legs, his hands travelling all over my body and making my breath stop in my throat as the realisation of what was about to happen really struck me.
"Wait, do you have... something?" I asked him faintly, still failing to breathe properly, and he froze, looking at me in the eyes for a couple of seconds before standing up and picking up his jeans from the floor, quickly searching into the back pocket and coming up with a little square sized packet.
"What? I had no intention of repeating a New Year's Eve" he told me, catching the glance I'd given him, getting on the bed again and slowly hooking his fingers on the soft fabric of my pants on my hips, hesitating just for a second before sliding them off my legs.
He crawled on top of me and kissed me again, making my head spin and my resolution shiver for just a second, because it definitely was real and was about to happen, and even if I'd tried my best to believe his words and deem my first time not important, it was still with him, and that surely was.
I let my hands run down his back slowly, for once doing what I wanted to do without worrying of the way he could've seen it, releasing a deep breath against his lips before getting a hold of the waistband of his black boxers and helping him to take them off.
He sent me a quick smile, kneeling between my legs, before easily opening the packet with his teeth, playing with its content for a few seconds before finally rolling it on and getting back on top of me again, slowly lowering his body on mine, careful not to put his whole weight on me.
It wasn't as I thought it would've been. It wasn't harsh, hurtful in the slightest, it didn't leave bruises on my body from being held too tight. The only marks Harry left on me were the ones he made with his mouth, each one making my head spin more and more and spreading warmth through me as he finally made me his, quietly murmuring my name into my ear before kissing down my neck, his hand gripping my thigh and encouraging me to wrap my legs around him. My breath shivered down my throat and my eyes were wide as I stared into his green ones, making him lower his head and brush his lips up my neck as he slowly made his way to my mouth, the smell of vanilla mixing with the one of his skin and annihilating my senses.
He slowly found his rhythm, carefully, and kept at it, attentive to every possible shift in my expression and adapting to it quickly. He was gentle as he explored my body with his hands inch by inch, his touch making me feel as if I was someone worth staring at for the first time in my life. The truth was, it didn't matter if there were so many better looking girls than me, he made me feel like I was perfect to him in that moment, and nothing else truly mattered. He searched for my lips as if he needed my kiss to breathe, his warm hands touching my skin and his eyes so full of intensity, as if he'd just opened them to the world for the first time. He moaned my name, the syllables falling broken out of his lips, his eyes frantically searching for mine, his heart beating in his chest so fast that I could feel it against my own, and I decided right then and there that it was one of my favourite sounds, for I'd never heard anything so sweet and vulnerable at the same time, but still powerful enough not to sound like a supplication.
And when he reached his high after me, lowering his head and gently biting down on my shoulder to suffocate the moan that left his lips, his fingers trembling as they were resting against my neck, I knew that there was something between us that was much more than simple attraction.
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What do you think?