Chapter 69: sixty-eight

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The bedsheets smelled of roses and intimacy. I opened my eyes slowly, blinking a few times to let them adapt to the white-bluish light coming from the window opposite to the bed. I stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, a daze-like feeling clouding my mind, warmth enveloping my body, before finally realising what was going on.

I turned my head to the side, discovering that Harry was lying on his stomach next to me, his eyes closed, seeming to be still asleep. I let my eyes run over his features, taking in the way his lips, a bit redder than usual, were slightly parted as he breathed slowly, the rhythmic pace soothing me. I refrained the urge to brush back the dark curls that had fallen over his forehead and partially covered his eyes, mixing with his eyelashes, while he slept.

I widened my eyes when I suddenly looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was almost five in the afternoon, and I knew my mother would've arrived at home at half past six. I sighed, knowing that I had to make myself a little presentable just in case, and carefully slid out of the covers, not wanting to accidentally wake Harry up in the process. I crawled to the end of the bed and got off the mattress from there, shivering slightly when my feet touched the cold floor. I crossed the room and got a shirt and a new pair of underwear from my wardrobe before walking to the door and unlocking the door.

I entered the bathroom and glanced at my naked figure in the mirror, experimentally brushing the few bruises that littered my collarbones and neck with the tip of my finger, almost feeling Harry's touch on me again as I closed my eyes.

I shook my head, trying to will the thoughts away before the memory of what had happened not too long before could make me blush. I turned on the shower and tied my hair up as I waited for the water to get warm, and when it did I stepped inside, cleaning my body quickly but attentively, not wanting to give my parents any reason to think that something had happened at all, wishing I wouldn't have had to wash his touch off my skin so soon.

When I was done I got out and dried myself up with the towel at best before slipping into my new change of clothes. I undid the bun on top of my head and let my hair down, brushing through it quickly with my fingers and putting it in a position that would've covered the marks on my neck, before getting out of the bathroom and walking into my bedroom again.

Harry was still sleeping in the same position as before, and all I could see from where I was standing next to the door was a mass of disheveled dark curls. I smiled to myself, closing the door and locking it again before walking towards the middle of the room, observing his sleeping figure.

He was still naked, the light grey sheet covering his lower half, his back strong, but relaxed. I fought off the sudden instinct to sit down next to him and let my hand travel down his spine to discover if his skin really was as smooth as it seemed to be, and I walked to my desk, taking a white paper sheet, a pencil and a book before cuddling up in the corner of the couch from which I could get a better view of him.

I started drawing him in silence, wanting to never forget that moment and the feeling of relaxation it gave me. It was calming to see him asleep, and it made me a bit giddy inside to know that at some point he would've woken up as well. I felt like I was seeing him all over again, I couldn't look at him without thinking of the way he made me feel, and my heart beat quicker in my chest at the simple thought of him looking back at me.

Maybe Harry really did have a point, because acknowledging what my feelings for him were had given them validation and made them more real, and I was terrified at the simple thought of not being able to look at him without letting him know.

I finished the sketch of his figure and I looked up and down at the sheet in front of me again, trying to see if there was something that needed to be fixed. I erased a line and drew it again, making sure that it was nothing less than perfect, before starting to shade the sheet that was covering half of him summarily.

"What are you doing?" A low voice asked as I was making the hair a bit darker, and I looked up quickly, not having expected him to wake up so soon at all.

My eyes met his green ones, there was a slightly confused look in them as he looked at me. I stared back, trying to understand if I was the only one that had noticed that shift between us or if he was aware of it as well, but I couldn't find much of a reply in his actions. "I'm drawing you" I said quietly in the end. "Is it a problem?" I added quickly, carefully, not knowing if he was okay with me drawing him while he was sleeping. I'd never dared to do that before, anyway.

"Do with me what you will" he said quietly in reply, his voice still rough from his sleep, before turning his head and sinking back into the mattress.

I smiled to myself, putting the drawing down on the side with the pencil on top before walking towards him and sitting down next to his waist, finally putting my hand on his back to get his attention. He whined a bit at my touch, mistakenly interpreting it as a request to make him get up, and I couldn't stop a little smile from showing up on my lips again at his reaction. He turned around slowly, letting his head rest on the pillow, the light grey in contrast with the dark shade of brown of his hair, staring up at me with a tired look in his green eyes. I turned on the bedside lamp, noticing that it had started to get darker outside, the warm golden shade enlightening us, and he rubbed one of his eyes before blinking a couple of times at the new source of light.

"Hey" he said quietly, glancing up at me, and I felt something shift in my chest in the second he spoke to me.

"Hi" I replied, starting to feel nervous under his stare, suddenly way more aware of the fact that my hand was resting on his chest and of our closeness, and I looked down at the tattoos under his collarbones, not able to stand his gaze. I was tracing one of the swallows on his chest when he suddenly spoke again.

"Sierra?" He called me, and I glanced up, furrowing my eyebrows as I took in the tone of voice he'd used. It was low and somewhat hesitant, and it didn't sound like him at all. He pursed his lips, the golden light making his eyes  warmer. He sat up, biting his lower lip, seeming to be nervous. "I thought about it" he said quietly, frowning slightly, as if he wanted to say something, but he wasn't sure of how to address it.

I inadvertently held my breath, not knowing what to think about the situation. What was it that he wanted to tell me? I felt a sudden weight drop on my chest as I thought of the possibility of him telling that he was done with us. It wouldn't have been nearly as unexpected as it would've been hurtful, anyway.

He looked up again, seemingly not aware of the thoughts that were swarming in my head. "And..." he said, letting his voice drift away as his anxiousness took over him again, "I do, really love you."

I widened my eyes at his words, just staring at him for a few seconds. It wasn't the first time he said something like that, but it felt like it was, considering the unfortunate situations of the last time he'd said those words. I let my gaze fall down, starting to feel a little wetness in my eyes for some reason I couldn't quite explain. I felt like my heart had stopped altogether even though I could feel it rush against my chest, a feeling of warmth staring to form inside me.

"Sierra?" Harry asked, and I looked up. He seemed even more panicked than before, the look in his green eyes telling me that he was fearing whatever would've come next.

"I..." I said, but my voice died in my throat. I stared at him, trying to find the right words, and quickly realising that only three summarised the way I was feeling. "I love you" I said, suddenly feeling breathless, "too."

He stayed still for a couple of seconds as he assimilated my words, and then he leant closer and pressed his lips against mine.

My heart skipped a beat at his action, and all I could do was pull him closer to me and intertwine my fingers in his curls, making his breath hitch against my mouth. He sighed into the kiss, but then he broke away from it before it could get any more heated, and I discovered that I really didn't mind it, as his simple presence was enough to make my heart stop. It almost felt odd to keep it so chaste after what had basically just happened, but not in a bad way. The kiss was short, but it was still soft, and tasted like the hot chocolate we'd drank earlier that day, and his touch was attentive, almost careful, so different from the way he'd pushed me on the bed just some hours before, and it made my heart flutter all the same.

•   •   •

"Do you want to spend the night with me?" I asked him gently, passing my fingers through his dark hair as he lay with his head on my lap.

He glanced up at me at my question, his green eyes freezing me in my spot for a few seconds. "What will your parents think?" He asked back quietly, and I shrugged.

"My dad isn't here, and my mum won't mind" I replied, going back to brushing my fingers through his hair, experimentally curling a strand around my finger.

He nodded. "I would like to, then." He closed his eyes and sighed before opening them again and sitting up on the bed in front of me. "I should go back to the house to get all I need for tomorrow" he said, the tone he used making it clear that he disliked the simple thought of doing it. Things had started to be even more strained with Niall's family lately, with his father still refusing to put his son at fault for what he'd done and his mother being completely ineffective at maintaining a positive environment. He hated having to go back to the house every night, but I knew that he would've never dared to ask me for help, especially considering he'd already stayed at me for some days not too long before. I wished I could've had him sleep at mine every day, but I knew it was too risky whenever my dad was around, so I always tried to invite him over for the night whenever it was just me and my mother.

"I can come with you" I said, brushing a strand of my hair behind my ear and sending a quick glance at the darkness out of the window, quickly realising that I would've had to put something more on, considering that it was still really cold outside. "If you don't want to go alone" I added, not wanting to impose in case he preferred to go alone.

The gaze in his eyes softened at my words. "I'd like that" he said gently, and I nodded, standing up and taking a pair of jeans and a hoodie from the wardrobe and putting them on under his attentive stare.

I looked back at him when I was done, discovering that he was still wearing nothing but his black boxers, and I found myself wondering how he wasn't freezing. He sensed my gaze on him and gave me the shadow of a smile before standing up and stretching his back deliberately slowly before bending down to lift his shirt from the floor.

I stared at him for a few seconds, but then I shook my head, realising what he was trying to go, and turned around to grab a pair of socks from the drawer behind me. I put them on, nearly slipping on the recently cleaned surface of the floor, and glanced at Harry, discovering that he'd forgot the little show he'd started to put up and had got dressed in the meantime.

I walked towards him, standing up on my tiptoes and leaving a quick kiss on his lips, hoping to distract him from whatever unhappy thought had made him frown. "The sooner we go, the sooner we'll come back" I told him gently, staring at him for a couple of seconds more to make sure that he was alright.

He nodded. "I know" he said quietly before making his way out of my room in silence.

I followed him as he walked down the stairs, and it wasn't hard to see that he seemed a bit detached. I tried my best not to let it hurt me, knowing that it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with the fact that we were about to go to his house at an hour in which everyone would've been surely at home, but I couldn't keep it from stinging a little when he put on his shoes and coat quickly before getting out of the front door.

I did the same and went outside after him, closing my coat as I locked the door. He was already at his car, and got in as soon as he saw that I was coming. I opened the car door and sat down on the passenger seat, closing it and turning to look at him.

He was holding the keys so hard that his knuckles had become white, an obvious representation of the way he was feeling in that moment. His stare was focused ahead, even though something told me he was perfectly aware of every single movement I made, and his jaw clenched, his dark hair still messy from earlier that day.

"Harry" I said gently, not liking to see him so upset, and put my hand over his, hesitating a bit before stroking the back of his hand with my thumb, hoping to encourage him to soften his grip before he could hurt himself on the sharp edges. "It's alright, we don't have to go if you don't want to."

"We have to, his father will get angry if I don't come home from the night without letting them know" he said quietly, shaking his head. "I wish I could move out."

I nodded, not knowing what else to say that could've made him feel better, and glanced down, noticing that he'd loosened his grip on the keys, that had fallen onto his lap. I intertwined my fingers with his, looking at him in silence, wishing I knew a better way to support him.

He sighed. "We should go" he said quietly, letting go of my hand and putting the keys in the ignition, starting the vehicle before driving out of the spot he'd parked in with a worried look in his eyes.

We spent the drive in silence and I didn't say a word, understanding that the might've needed some time to think about what was going to happen, considering the position he was in. I wish I could've done anything to help him, but I knew that the only people that could've made it better would've been Niall's parents themselves.

We arrived at Niall's house and he parked in the driveway, turning off the engine but sitting in the vehicle for a few seconds, looking down, as the air around us went cold. I sat in silence next to him for a few seconds, observing the almost panicked look in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked him gently, not understanding why he seemed to be so on edge. He'd left my house to go back home multiple times in the past, and he'd never seemed as concerned as he did in that moment. I wondered what was going on, that was putting him so on edge.

He shook his head, leaning forward and putting his forehead against the back of his hands, that were still gripping the wheel. "It's been a mess, lately" he replied honestly, sighing. "I don't want you to see it."

I gave him a slow nod. "I can wait here, if it's something you'd like me to do" I suggested, not really wanting to let him go inside alone if it really was as bad as he'd said it was, but trying to find a way to make him feel at least a little better.

It took him a few seconds to reply, but when he did I couldn't help but be glad. "No, I'll be faster if you come in with me" he said, and I nodded, raising my gaze to glance at the house, knowing that it wouldn't have been long before someone would've noticed we were parked outside.

"We should go then" I said gently, unable to stop the feeling of nervousness that settled into my chest, easily forming because of the realisation that Harry himself seemed to be intimidated by the simple idea of walking into the house. I frowned as soon as I acknowledged it. That wasn't how someone should feel while entering their own home. It was supposed to be a safe place, but it wasn't hard to understand that Harry didn't see it in that way at all.

He nodded, taking another need breath before finally opening the door and getting out of the car, and I did the same, following him as he made his way towards the front door. I stood next to him, furrowing my eyebrows when I realised it was starting to rain and looking up, looking at the dark sky as Harry unlocked the door. He finally did and opened it, entering the house slowly with me behind him.

The television was on in the living room, and I could hear voices coming from upstairs. Overall, it was quite clear that there were people in the house, and I knew it would've turned into a problem in no time. We entered the living room, and I was a bit surprised to see that nobody was in there, but quickly pushed the thought away, assuming that they had probably changed room not too long ago. I hoped Niall's dad wasn't at home, because he scared me and I didn't want him to yell at Harry or mistreat him as he seemed to like to do.

We walked up the stairs in silence, the both of us not wanting to attract unwanted attention, and we made it to Harry's bedroom in no time. I sat on the bed as he opened his wardrobe and quickly got a change of clothes, shoving it in his school bag, that he'd left at the end of his bed earlier that day. He made sure that all the stuff he needed before swinging it over his shoulder and nodding at me, letting me know that was it.

I stood up and we exited the room, and I waited patiently as he locked the door as he always did. We walked downstairs and into the living room, and I'd just started believing we could've made it out without any issue when two people entered the room, making me stop in my tracks. Harry stopped as well, and for some seconds the four of us stared at each other, everyone holding the same startled look in their eyes.

"Are you for real?" Harry then hissed at the boy in front of him, suddenly breaking the silence, repressed anger clear in his voice - understandably so.

Liam gave him an annoyed look, finally having got a hold of himself, that confused me to no end. "What, Harry?" He replied, acting as if he really didn't want to waste his time talking to him. I frowned, not understanding why he was acting in such a way.

"He plants drugs on me and you spend time with him?" Harry hissed at him, clearly not believing the behaviour of the boy that was supposed to be his friend. He shook his head, suddenly seeming to think that it wasn't worth fighting over - or simply not feeling like arguing, anyway. "I'm leaving" he simply said, walking towards the door.

Liam stopped him by stepping in front of him before he could even make his way out of the living room, the action clearly irritating Harry, that seemed to be considerably on edge. "Hang on, he did what?" He said, confused, and I couldn't help but glance at Niall, that seemed to be more than simply unsettled.

Harry gave him a glare, not enjoying the way he'd stopped him from leaving in the slightest, but not seeming to have any intention of clarifying what he'd told him.

"Didn't Zayn tell you?" I asked him furrowing my eyebrows, not understanding why he hadn't done that. I was quite sure he'd forgotten to, but still, it was important enough to at least mention it to him. To my surprise, two replies came at the same time.

"Tell me what?" Liam said, seeming even more confused than before.

"You told him to tell him?" Harry replies to me, turning his head quickly to send me a glance, but it was clear that he was still a bit angered by the situation we were in, so I couldn't tell what he thought about me going behind his back like that, even though I'd certainly done it for a good cause.

I sent Harry a glance, hoping to make him understand that I would've preferred to continue our part of the conversation later on, and then looked at Liam. "I thought you knew?" I said, honestly surprised by what was going on.

"I didn't, what the hell? Why would you do that?" He replied, turning to look at Niall and sending him a glare, that told us that he wasn't pleased in the slightest.

Niall just stared at him, not knowing what to say, his eyes wide, as some seconds ticked by. The tension in the room could've been cut with a knife, and I knew that the wrong thing happening in that moment could've made everything go downhill even more. And then it did.

All of sudden the front door opened and Niall's father walked in, closing the wet umbrella and throwing it at the side of the hallway before finally acknowledging us. His eyes went over every single one of us, stopping to look at Harry for a while longer. "You're always here starting fights" he then spat, his eyes still focused on Harry's.

Harry's eyes widened at his words, but didn't say a word, instantly backing away from Liam in an attempt to distance himself from the man behind the other boy.

"Niall had some fun, so what? At least he never used, unlike you" he kept telling him in an apparently calm tone of voice under Liam's shocked gaze. "If you hadn't done drugs in the first place he wouldn't have got that idea, so don't put him at fault for your mistakes."

"What the hell?" Liam said all of sudden, not believing what he'd just heard. "That's a really rude thing to say, and it's uncalled for. It isn't Harry's fault if Niall did what he did."

Niall's father shook his head. "Harry has always been a failure and everyone in this house knows it" he spat, his words venomous as he spoke them while staring at Harry in the eyes, as if he wanted to see the instant in which his resolution would've crumbled. "That's what happens when you take a drug addict into the house. I'm surprised he hasn't stolen Maura's jewellery to pay for drugs yet."

"I'm leaving" Harry said quickly all of sudden, blinking a couple of times before moving past Liam and quickly rushing out of the living room, not stopping until he was way out of the front door and under the rain.

I ran after him and stopped him by grabbing his wrist. "Harry" I called him gently, quickly noticing the upset look in his eyes. They were a bit red and his eyebrows were furrowed, and he looked like he could've started crying at any moment. I shook my head, stepping closer to him and pulling him into a hug, not caring that we were standing in the rain. "Don't listen to him" I murmured into his ear, feeling like crying, absolutely hating the fact that he'd managed to hurt him again. "Don't listen to him."

He took in a shaky breath, hesitantly hugging me back, wrapping his arms around my middle a bit tighter than necessary, but I didn't care, knowing that he needed the comfort in that moment.

"Oh my goodness, Harry" I heard someone say and I quickly let go of Harry, turning around just to discover that Maura had just got out of the house and was walking towards us.

"I don't want to hear it" Harry said, loud enough to be heard over the sound of the rain, his voice trembling slightly, before grabbing my wrist and quickly walking to his car, wanting to get in before she could reach us.

As soon as we reached it I got in and looked at him as he made his way in front of the vehicle fast to get to the other side before opening his door as well and getting in, not wasting time in turning on the engine and driving out of the driveway and down the road a bit over the speed limit.

After a couple of minutes, when he seemed to deem we'd put enough distance between him and the house, he parked at the side of the road and turned off the car again. I watched him in silence as he hid his face in his hands, his body trembling slightly because of the cold that had started to slide into the car and of how upset he was.

"Don't listen to him" I said gently, finally daring to put a hand on his back, and he glanced up. There was still a bit of redness around his eyes, and considering how glossy they seemed to be, it wasn't impossible to believe he'd inadvertently shed a tear or two. "Nobody thinks that" I continued. "I don't think that, for what's worth, and I'm sure neither do Maura, and Zayn, and Liam. He just says awful things to upset you, please don't let it get to you."

He stared at the street for some more seconds before wiping his eyes with the back of his index and breathing in slowly, the air trembling its way down his throat. After a while he looked at me. "Thank you" he said faintly. "I love you" he added, so lowly that I almost believed I'd heard him wrong.

"I love you too" I told him gently in reply, feeling my heart flutter in my chest as I took in the words he'd said.

The corners of his lips turned up almost imperceptibly. "I could get used to hearing that" he replied quietly, before turning on the car again.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter x

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