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There was a pale sun in the sky that cold morning of February.
I stared at it for a couple of seconds more before finally pulling the curtain close and turning around, making my way to the desk and taking a paper sheet I'd carefully hidden in the back of one of my drawers. I took it out of the plastic folder that was protecting it and wrote something in the corner before rolling it up and securing it into its new position with a red ribbon.
I nodded to myself and walked out of the room, entering my bedroom and furrowing my eyebrows when I realised that Harry wasn't in my bed anymore. I stopped in the middle of the room, wondering where he'd gone, widening my eyes when I suddenly heard my mother's voice downstairs.
I quickly made my way out of the door and down the stairs, entering the kitchen and finding Harry leaning against the counter in silence, a cup in his hands, as my mother was telling him something. She looked up quickly when she heard me come into the room, and gave me a little smile.
"Hey Sierra" she simply said, "was just talking to Harry here. Considering he already sleeps in here at least twice per week, it just felt fair to get to know each other a little bit."
I nodded quickly, giving her a mildly concerned glance before looking at Harry, that was sipping whatever was in the cup he was holding calmly.
"Well, I'll go upstairs" she continued, sensing the awkwardness of the moment and walking out of the room.
I waited until I was sure she couldn't hear me anymore and then I walked towards Harry, standing on my tiptoes and leaving a kiss on his lips. "Happy Birthday" I whispered to him, staring at him as a little smile curved his lips. "Here's your present" I added quickly handing him the paper roll to him, the quickness masking my nervousness. What if he hadn't liked it? What if he'd expected something better? There were so many things that could've gone wrong, and they all worried me to no end.
"Thank you" he said quietly, carefully taking it and undoing the bow under my attentive stare, unrolling it and staring at it for a few seconds, in silence. "A rose" he said in the end, and I nodded quickly.
"I know you kept the sketch I made for you months ago, so I thought that... if you really wanted to keep it, you should've kept a good one" I explained fast, feeling a bit more on edge than before about it. What if he'd thought it was a stupid idea?
He nodded, looking up from the drawing and at me and giving me a little smile. "Thank you" he said quietly, the honesty in his voice making something inside me melt. "I love you."
"I love you too" I replied gently and faintly, not wanting to risk being overheard by anyone. I was about to kiss him again when my mother suddenly entered the kitchen, almost making me have a heart attack. I quickly put some distance between Harry and I and he closed the drawing again, waiting to know what was going on.
"There's a boy for you outside, Sierra" she told me, a hint of confusion in her voice as she spoke.
I gave her a confused glance, not understanding who could've even come to my house at that time in the morning, but decided to check it out anyway, giving Harry a little glance as I made my way out of the kitchen.
I walked to the door and opened it, my confusion not being lessened in the slightest when I discovered that Zayn was the boy out of my house.
"Is Harry here?" He asked before I could even say anything, and I nodded slowly, staring at him with a puzzled look in my eyes. "Alright then, I'll keep it short" he said quickly. "Today it's Harry's birthday, and I thought it would be good to spend it together, since he seems to like you a lot. This means, leave the birthday plans to me."
I gave him a slow nod. "Alright" I said, not understanding why he'd made such a big deal out of it, enough to decide to come to my house in the morning because of it. It wasn't as if I had any clue about how to plan a party, anyway.
"Good" he said, "now, I suppose he knows I'm here, so I suppose I'll have to take you two to school not to raise suspicions" he added, and I nodded again, walking back into the house.
"Who is he?" My mother asked curiously as I entered the kitchen, and I gave her a little shrug.
"He's Zayn" I said, sending Harry, that seemed to be as confused as I was, a little glance. "We should go."
• • •
Later that night, I somehow ended up finding myself in Zayn's car again, sitting in the backseat with Harry as Zayn drove with a grumpy looking Liam on the passenger seat next to him. Somehow he'd managed to convince him to tag along even if he and Harry weren't in good terms, and I couldn't help but be a little glad about it, considering that I had no idea of what I was going on.
I met Zayn's stare in the rear view mirror for a second, and I quickly looked away, suppressing a smile as I remembered what had happened in the car earlier that morning, when he'd given Harry his present, that had turned out being a carefully wrapped joint. I shook my head, a little smile forming on my lips as the one that had curved Harry's lips came back to my mind.
I quickly looked up when the car stopped. "What are we doing here?" I asked, slightly confused when I looked out of the window just to discover that we seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. I would've expected something like that from Harry, but certainly not from Zayn. I turned to glance at Harry, discovering that he seemed to be just as confused as I was, proving that he too had no idea of what was going on.
Zayn tutted, grabbing the bag he'd left next to Liam's legs and shaking it slightly, the sound of glass clashing against glass filling the vehicle for a couple of seconds. "I told you I was getting Harry drunk" he commented, sending me a sharp glance through the rear view mirror, his words slightly unsettling me.
Harry didn't seem to think that they were odd at all, leaving me to wonder about the kind of friendship they led once again. "I'm in" he simply said, opening his door and stepping out of the car.
I shook my head, promptly deciding to follow him, stopping in my tracks as soon as I got out of the vehicle and I noticed that there was sand on the ground. I raised my eyebrows, but I couldn't help but be a little glad that Zayn had at least decided to take his plan to the seaside, for it would've been just too weird to celebrate a birthday in the middle of a lonely road.
I fastened my step to reach Harry and Zayn, that were walking a couple of steps in front of Liam and I, stopping by Harry's side. He said nothing and continued to walk next to Zayn making some small conversation I barely listened to, but he took my hand in his and intertwined our fingers, so I didn't really mind.
Similarly to the place he'd taken me some weeks before, there was a little hill separating the actual beach and the road, and we carefully climbed on top of it, Harry's hand leaving mine just for a quick second when he almost lost his balance, but quickly returning and getting a hold of my forearm when he made it to the top to make sure I wouldn't have risked to fall down as well.
The climb down the other side was way easier, but somehow Liam managed to slip and slide all the way down, not really hurting himself because of the sand, but almost pulling down both me and Harry in the way.
Zayn stopped halfway between the street and the water and put the bag down before sitting down on the sand, looking up and catching the unimpressed look Liam gave him. "Come on guys, it's just fucking sand."
I nodded, quickly deciding that it was the time to try to make him stop hating me and sitting down as well, Harry following me not too long after. I closed my coat to keep myself a bit warmer, glancing up just in time to notice the little look Zayn sent my way.
The boy looked inside the bag for a quick second. "Well, it's just fitting for the birthday boy to do the honours so tell me, Harry, what do you fancy? Beer or vodka?" He said, not seeming to miss a beat as he spoke.
"Definitely vodka" Harry replied, his voice low, leaning back on his hands and closing his eyes, completely ignoring the semi-concerned glance that Liam sent his way.
Zayn nodded, taking a transparent bottle and handing it to him, staring at him as he easily opened it. "Should we play some stripping game or something?" He suggested, and I quickly glanced his way at his words. Thankfully though, I didn't have to be the one telling him what a bad idea that was for many reasons - aside the obvious ones - because Liam beat me to it.
"Zayn, it's past ten in the evening and we're sitting on a beach, and let me add that it's also winter" he told him, furrowing his eyebrows.
The other boy rolled his eyes at his words. "Damn Liam, way to spoil the fun" he mumbled, huffing. "Well, what about we just get to know each other then? Everyone shares something and we all drink together and have fun. What do you say, Sierra?"
I glanced at him, noticing that he was intensely staring at me, as if he was just waiting for me to back down to prove a point. It unsettled me a bit, but I also knew I most certainly wasn't going to get drunk just to prove him I could, so I just shrugged. "Oh, I don't drink. Sorry."
He rolled his eyes again at my words, as if he just couldn't believe that someone that boring had managed to spend time with them. "Oh come on, just a bit. It'd be fun."
"Don't make her do something she doesn't want to do, Zayn" Harry said all of sudden, taking a quite large sip from the bottle he was holding before lowering it on his lap, seeming completely unfazed.
Zayn sighed, taking the bottle from his hand. "Alright, damn. No need to get so defensive." He drank from the bottle and looked at Liam. "Are you drinking something?"
The other boy shook his head. "I'm the one that will make you sure you guys will survive the night."
Zayn nodded, handing the bottle back to Harry. "I liked the idea of sharing stuff though. Like fun stuff."
Harry hummed and I glanced at him, watching him take another sip of vodka, furrowing my eyebrows at how unbothered he seemed to be. Wasn't vodka supposed to taste like alcohol or something? I had no idea, as the only alcoholic drink I'd ever had was champagne on special occasions - if that was telling enough.
"What does it taste like?" I asked him quietly, deciding to soothe my curiosity, not wanting to be overheard by Zayn and be made fun of.
Harry turned his head to glance at me at my question. "Do you want to try it?"
I shook my head quickly. "No, I don't want to get drunk."
"If you take a small sip you won't get drunk" he said quietly in reply, seeming to understand my interest for keeping the conversation between us as private as possible.
I gave him a little glance. "Do you promise?" I asked him hesitantly, the fact that I was actually considering it surprising me to no end. But after all, it just made sense for me to do something like that for the first time with him, out of all people.
He shrugged. "I'm sure you aren't that much of a lightweight, Sierra" he said honestly, and I gave him a little nod.
"Alright" I replied, ignoring the feeling of insecurity at the back of my mind as he handed me the bottle with the ghost of a smile on his lips. I took it from his hand, staring at it for a couple of seconds before carefully bringing it to my mouth and taking a little sip of the vodka inside, scrunching up my nose instantly.
"So?" Harry asked me and I glanced at him, discovering that he was looking at me attentively, waiting for me to say something.
I handed it back to him, shaking my head quickly. "Yeah, I don't like it" I answered, and he let out a little chuckle.
He leaned closer to me and pressed his lips against mine, his action taking me completely off guard. The kiss didn't last long though because he probably realised that we weren't alone, and we broke apart before I could even really realise what had just happened. "That's a new" he said quietly, before sitting back again and drinking out of the bottle in his hand.
"You had your moment, happy now? Can we move on?" Zayn said, making me realise that we hadn't been as subtle as I thought we'd been.
I glanced down, blushing slightly, hiding even though I knew nobody could really notice because of how dark it actually was.
"Anyway Liam, you have the honour to go first. So that Harry and I will manage to get drunk in the meantime and make this evening more interesting" Zayn continued, glancing at Liam, while Harry seemed not to care much about what was going on.
Liam sighed, understanding that there was no way to make him change his mind. "What should I even say?"
Zayn shrugged. "Anything really, we're trying to get past the awkwardness" he replied honestly, managing to make the situation a little more awkward.
"Okay, well" the other boy said, looking down as he seemed to come up with something.
"Just tell us something nobody knows" Zayn pushed him again, eager to get that little thing started, taking a bottle of beer from the white bag and uncapping it.
"Harry and I had sex" Liam blurted all of sudden, making Harry almost choke on the vodka.
"Holy shit what the fuck?" Zayn said, completely shocked, dropping the bottle he was holding but managing to keep it from spilling on the sand at the last second.
I let out a little nervous laugh at his words, trying to mask the fact that I already knew it, glancing at Harry to make sure he'd survived the confession. I slid a bit closer to him, gently patting him on the back as he coughed loudly, the transparent bottle blocked between his thighs, leaving my hand there after he got himself together.
"Are you fucking serious?" Zayn asked him, seeming more shocked than anything else, emitting a weird sound when Liam gave him a little nod. "When did that even happen?"
Liam shrugged. "That's how we met."
Zayn let out an incredulous laugh. "Damn Harry, all this time I thought you introduced me to a new friend but no, you introduced me to a fuck buddy. This is gold."
Harry just ignored his words, taking another sip from the bottle and staring right ahead at the waves in front of him.
"Wait, wait, hang on. The plot thickens!" Zayn exclaimed all of sudden. "So you two fucked" he said looking at Harry and Liam, "and you two" he continued, glancing at Harry and pointing at me as well, "probably fucked as well, then she drew you naked Harry, but she also drew Liam naked, and now you and her are dating? Damn, that must be awkward."
Harry glanced at him in the second he said those words, and so did Liam, an icy silence falling over us for some seconds after he spoke.
"Uh, my ex best friend basically hired her cousin to date me so that I would stay away from Harry" I said quickly after a few moments, trying to save the situation.
Harry's head snapped in my direction, letting me know that I'd managed to do it. "Are you serious?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
I nodded. "Aiden is her cousin" I explained quickly, "that's what he told me that time."
Harry shook his head, sighing. "I need to be way drunker for this" he said, before bringing the bottle to his lips and taking a few gulps of the clear liquid inside.
Zayn whistled. "Woah, if this isn't shady secrets night" he commented, nodding slowly.
"What's your shady secret, Zayn?" Liam asked him, seeming determined to finally put the spotlight on him, and the other boy shrugged.
"I mean, I fucked Sophia. Can it be considered as shady?" He asked, giving us a little glance, and I stared at him, confused, not knowing what he was talking about.
I wasn't the only one to be left confused though, because Liam gave him an equally puzzled look. "Who the hell is Sophia?"
"One of Harry's girlfriends or something" Zayn simply said with a little shrug. "Like, one of the ones he used to have fun with."
Harry stared at him for a few seconds, before realisation finally passed through his irises. "Sophia. It's okay, you can fuck Sophia, I don't mind" he murmured, taking another sip out of the bottle.
"Slow down" I told him quietly, noticing that he'd already drank half of the bottle as we talked, putting my hand over his and lowering the bottle to his thighs.
Zayn glanced at Harry at my actions, raising his eyebrows. "Damn, this one is already done and going down the happy road" he commented, carefully taking the bottle out of Harry's hands. "Sharing is caring, Styles, I can't get drunk on fucking beer. Also, you'll thank me later when how much you drank will catch up to you."
Harry hummed. "I think it already is" he mumbled, momentarily closing his eyes.
"Hey Harry?" Zayn asked all of sudden. "Do you still have your birthday gift?"
Harry glanced at him for a few seconds, but then nodded. "Yeah, in my coat."
Zayn nodded, standing up. "Let's go for a smoke" he said, and Harry stood up as well, a bit unsure on his feet for the first couple of seconds, snatching the half-empty bottle from Zayn's hand and walking away with Zayn following him.
I watched them go in silence, observing them as they neared the water, stopping in front of it as the light of the fire from a lighter shined in Zayn's hand for a couple of seconds.
"This seems like an odd birthday celebration" I shared quietly even though I knew they were way too far away to hear me.
"That's what they've always done for Harry's birthday" Liam replied, and I glanced at him. "They usually do it at parties though."
I nodded. "I don't know" I simply said, going back to glancing at them as they seemed to make some minimal conversation.
Liam hummed, letting silence float over us for a few seconds before speaking again. "Hey, how did the competition go?"
We started talking about it, and before I even knew it the small conversation turned into an actual conversation. It was surprising to me, considering that I'd never been particularly open to people, but I couldn't deny that he made it so incredibly easy to talk to him - it was obvious why he played the role of the responsible one in their group of friends.
Minutes went by, and then minutes turned into an hour, and didn't stop ticking by. We kept chatting as he kept an eye on Harry and Zayn, that had seemed to have become way drunker, as their at times loud voices told us.
We were talking of our plans for the future when all of sudden Liam looked up, widening his eyes instantly.
"Oh my goodness, he fell in the water!" He exclaimed, standing up fast.
I turned my head quickly to look at what he was staring at, widening my eyes when I realised that Zayn was standing in the ocean, the water reaching his knees, alone. I stood up quickly when I realised what was going on, but Liam just shook his head, stopping me my grabbing my forearm before I could take a single step forward.
"I'll take care of it" he simply said, starting to walk towards the ocean just as Harry's head emerged from the black water, sputtering a bit, but not seeming to make a single move to get out of that situation.
I watched as Liam took off his shoes and coat and walked towards the water, getting in just enough to get a hold of Harry and help him to stand up. They seemed to exchange some words, and then Liam walked back towards me, his fingers wrapped tightly around Harry's wrist.
He finally brought Harry back to me, making him sit down on the sand with a disappointed look on his face. "Apparently he dropped the joint they were smoking in the water when he fell, keep an eye on him while I make sure Zayn doesn't go searching for it" he said, shaking his head as he took in the dripping wet state of Harry's clothes. He rolled his eyes and went to get his coat before helping Harry to take his own wet one off and draping the dry one over his shoulders. He gave him an eloquent glance before walking away, leaving us on our own.
I stared after him for a couple of seconds and then turned to look at the boy sitting next to me. "How are you feeling?" I asked him, observing him under the light of the moon. He seemed to be a bit paler than usual, a faint pinkness on his nose and cheeks because of the cold weather, trembling slightly as his almost completely wet clothes weren't doing much to protect him from the cold air of early February. His dark curls were damp and sticking to his forehead, a few drops of salt water leaving them and trickling down his skin.
He glanced at me, seeming to realise just in that moment that I was next to him. "Sierra" he slurred, a hint of surprise in his tone, his tongue getting tangled in the syllables of my name. He slid closer to me, and I could smell the alcohol in his breath, mixed with something else I couldn't recognise. "I'm so glad you're here" he sputtered, before leaning forward and pressing his soft lips against mine. He pushed himself closer to me, trying to deepen the kiss, but just ending up making me fall back into the sand.
I smiled at his actions, but tried my best not to laugh, considering that it seemed quite rude to laugh at him for not having a single clue of what he was doing in that moment.
He didn't let it discourage him, and he left a sloppy kiss on my jawline. "I want you" he mumbled into my ear, trying to slide his cold hand up my shirt, but I stopped him before he could manage to do so.
"Not now, you're drunk" I told him gently, brushing his wet hair off his forehead and sitting up instead, and he hummed, seeming to lose his interest for it as quickly as I said no, his drunken mind jumping from one thing to the other quickly.
He resorted to putting his head on my shoulder, sighing into the fabric of my coat, heaving down on me as he put his whole weight on me. "Will you love me?" He slurred as a question after a while, so quietly that I waited for a few seconds after I heard it to make sure he'd said something at all and that it wasn't just the tiredness clouding my senses.
"I already do" I answered quietly when he moved in my arms, automatically wrapping my arm around his shoulders to make sure Liam's coat wouldn't have fallen off him as a cold wind came around, freezing us in our spots for some seconds.
He shook his head, signalling that it wasn't what he meant, but letting some seconds go by before clarifying his words. "Will you love me even after I hurt you?" He mumbled, his voice low. "After I make you cry?"
I furrowed my eyebrows at his question, not understanding where it was coming from at all. It seemed a weird thing to ask, especially considering that everything had been quite good between us in the past few days. "You won't make me cry" I told him gently, brushing my fingers through his hair as I spoke.
He hummed, perfectly still in my arms, to the point that I wondered if he'd suddenly fallen asleep. "You overestimate me."
"Maybe you underestimate yourself" I replied, and at that he didn't say anything. We sat there, on the seaside, sand infiltrating our clothes as we watched Liam trying to convince Zayn not to search for the joint Harry had lost, his rationality too clouded for him to understand that the waves had already taken it away into the ocean.
He didn't reply, letting the silence envelop us until Liam came back.
"One almost drowning and the other trying to drown himself, they're never getting drunk on the seaside again" he said aloud approaching us, dragging Zayn with him by the wrist to make sure he wouldn't have gone back to the water. "How's Harry doing?"
I gave him a little shrug, looking down to try to evaluate the state Harry was in and noticing that his eyes were closed, but the breaths he took weren't deep enough for him to be asleep. "He's quiet."
Liam nodded at my words. "Understandable. Let's go, his clothes are still wet and Zayn seems quite dedicated in throwing himself in the water."
I let out a little chuckle at his words. "Seems quite accurate" I said, glancing at Zayn, that was staring at the ocean, seeming to have every intention of going back to it. I glanced down at Harry, gently brushing his arm, getting him to open his eyes. "We're going, come on" I told him quietly, trying to get him to sit up properly so that I could stand up.
He gave me a little nod, detaching his body from mine in silence, and I stood up, offering him my hand to help him up. He did, stumbling a bit as his sense of balance left him for a few seconds, and I took his wet coat from the sand, knowing that he wouldn't have remembered to do it otherwise, and took his hand, following Liam and Zayn towards his car.
We reached it and I opened the door, inviting Harry to get inside before following him in, buckling up his seatbelt when I noticed he'd leaned his head on the headrest instead of doing it, seeming not to have any intention of moving from his position.
"Should I take him to mine?" Liam asked as soon as he sat in the driver's seat. "I mean, he definitely needs a shower and stuff to change into."
I gave him a little nod as he started driving. "Harry? Are you okay with going to Liam's?" I asked him gently, brushing a wet strand of hair out of his eyes, but he shook his head. "No?" I asked him, confused.
"I'm mad at him" he mumbled, and I nodded slowly, taking in his words and quickly thinking of a new solution.
"Do you want to come to mine?" I asked, and he gave me a little nod, still looking out of the car window.
I stared at him for a few seconds, and then decided to look out of the window on my side and leave him be for a while, considering that he didn't seem particularly talkative.
• • •
"Think you can manage not to slip in the shower?" I asked him quietly as we entered the bathroom, our change of clothes in my hand as I locked the door with the other, not wanting to risk my mother coming in.
He nodded, sighing and leaning against the sink, slowly slipping down until he was sitting on the floor, his knees to his chest, hiding his face in his arms.
I stared at him a little and put the clothes down next to the sink, mine on one side and his unused gym t-shirt and boxers on the other, before taking the cup that was on the sink and filling it with water, leaning down and handing it to him. "Drink some water, maybe it'll help you to sober up a bit" I whispered to him before turning around and going to turn on the shower.
He did and tried to put it back on the sink when he was done, the action failing him, the cup startling me as it fell to the ground. I quickly picked it up, endlessly glad that it wasn't made of glass, and put it back where it belonged in silence.
"I think the water is warm now" I told him after a little silence, and he nodded, starting to strip down in front of me without a single care in the world, and I looked away, turning around just to help him to get into the shower.
I stayed in the bathroom as he showered, wanting to make sure he wasn't alone in case he'd underestimated his drunkenness and slipped and hurt himself. I got out a towel and leant against the sink, patiently waiting for him to be done so that I could have wash myself as well.
After having waited for a couple minutes I turned around, deciding to brush my teeth while I was waiting, as I had nothing better to do. When I was done I went back to leaning against the sink, resorting to quietly waiting.
Finally the water got turned off and I raised one of the towels I'd grabbed from under the sink, waiting patiently for Harry to step out.
I offered him my hand as soon as he opened the doors, wanting to make sure he wouldn't have slipped while exiting the shower. He finally got out, a tired and somewhat hazy look in his eyes, taking the towel from me and starting to dry himself up slowly and clumsily, not bothering to cover himself up.
I blushed slightly. "I think I'm gonna shower as well" I told him, doing my best not to accidentally look down and make it more awkward than it had to be.
I didn't even manage to get into the shower before he fell to the ground over the toilet, his hands trembling as he retched into the ceramic bowl. I sighed, kneeling down next to him and pulling back his wet hair, brushing my hand up and down his naked spine as I waited for him to be done. After a minute or so he had nothing left to puke and he just knelt there, hovering over the toilet, his hand gripping the seat, as if he was waiting for something else to happen.
I stood up, filling up the cup he'd left on the sink again and handing it to him. He took it, rinsing his mouth a couple of times before hesitantly standing up, stumbling over his own feet for a couple of times as he tried to get a hold of himself in the best way he could.
"Do you think you can wait in here for me as I have a shower?" I asked him gently, not wanting to have him roaming around my house in the middle of the night while drunk.
He didn't say anything, but I decided it was good enough and quickly took off my clothes as he seemed to be distracted while he was getting dressed. I got under the shower head and turned on the water, being extremely thankful of the fact that it was still warm from Harry's shower.
I tried to be as fast as possible, and before I knew it I was out again, scrambling to get to a towel under Harry's not so attentive stare. I dried myself up at best and got dressed trying my best to ignore the warmth that had rushed to my cheeks.
"Come on, let's go to sleep" I told him gently when I was done, walking past him and unlocking the bathroom door.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. x
Miki
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