Array
(
[text] =>

Story plot: Seonghwa is trying his best to complete the missions with full passion, but he feels so awkward filming himself. The harder he tries, the more frustrated he gets with himself. He's feeling insecure and he has no idea if he's doing the right things at this point. When San hears Seonghwa scream in his pillow after a while, he decides to check on him.

Seonghwa paces around his bedroom, trying to force himself to start filming. He has no problems filming when the others are around, but he feels so awkward to be alone in his room and film. He wants to make perfect messages for ATINY and he doesn't want them to come across as forced or fake, he wants them to be as realistic as possible.

He grabs the note from the windowsill and looks at all the tiny messages he has to film. Maybe he should just start with an easy one, one that he'll be able to do for sure. He grabs his camera and picks one that he feels most comfortable filming.

As he finishes recording he sighs, because it didn't work out the way he wanted it to.

If I can't even film the one that I do feel confident about, how am I suppose to film everything else without making it cringy or have it turn out to be a complete flop?! Why do the others seem to have no problem filming at all? Okay well maybe Yeosang, he doesn't like these things either. But at least he always manages to make it look amazing. And look at me. Awkwardly sitting here with my camera, trying to figure out what I'm going to do.

"I need to pull myself together and just do it." Seonghwa mumbles to himself as he grabs the camera and records the same message over and over again, but never feeling fully satisfied with the results.

He grabs the note once again, staring at the other ways he's suppose to film the message. He groans and throws the paper to the other side of the room. He'd rather walk across that bridge again than having to shoot all these mini clips. Not because he doesn't love to do this for his ATINY, but because it's making him feel really self-concious.

He just wishes his boyfriend would be here with him, but San said he couldn't film when someone was around. He forces himself up from the bed to grab the note he threw away earlier.

I can do this. I know I can. I just have to take a deep breath and film. ATINY does love me and I know they will love whatever kind of content I put out there. I shouldn't compare myself to the others. We're all different individuals. I can do this.

After trying to film about 20 more times, Seonghwa is getting more and more frustrated. It's just not working out and he becomes more awkward with every recording he's trying to make.

He grabs his pillow and screams loudly into it, trying to muffle his screaming. At this point, he just wants to give up and forget about this mission.

There is a gentle knock on the door, followed by a very familiar voice. "Seonghwa hyung, baby can I come in?" It's San. Finally. When Seonghwa doesn't reply, San enters his boyfriends bedroom. "Hwa?" San makes his way over to the bed where Seonghwa is still sitting with his faced pressed firmly into the pillow.

San sits down next to his boyfriend, trying to remove the pillow from his boyfriends face. "Baby what's wrong?" San finally manages to remove the pillow and places his hand on Seonghwa's cheek slightly forcing him to look him in the eye. "Is it the filming?" San asks carefully and Seonghwa nods.

He moves next to his boyfriend on his bed, wrapping his arms around the older. Seonghwa instantly relaxes into San's arms, nuzzling his head onto his chest. San rests his lips on his boyfriends head, softly brushing his arm to make the older feel calm and comfortable. "Thank you." Seonghwa whispers, creating a small smile on San's lips. "You're welcome."

San decides that he won't be forcing Seonghwa to sit up and film. He's enjoying this moment way too much. Seonghwa is always so busy with taking care of them. It feels good that now he's the one taking care of this boyfriend and the best part is that Seonghwa is actually allowing him to.

San brushes his fingers softly through Seonghwa's hair, reassuring him that he'll fix his hair before he has to start filming. Seonghwa just nods and relaxes back against his boyfriend's warm body. "I can sleep here tonight if you want me to." San whispers, earning a small nod from his boyfriend. "Hey don't fall asleep already hyung. We still need to film. After we've gone through that we'll snuggle up just like this okay?"

Seonghwa pouts but nods. He knows he should sit up and start filming. The sooner they wrap that up, the longer they can cuddle before actually falling asleep so Seonghwa forces himself to sit up. "Okay let's do it. The sooner I film the sooner we can cuddle again." San chuckles and places a light peck on his boyfriends lips. "Alrighty, I'll stay with you angel."

San smiles as he lays down on Seonghwa's bed, admiring his boyfriend as he grabs the camera and his little note. "You can do it." San says as he places a kiss on Seonghwa's knee. Seonghwa blushes slightly and smiles down at his boyfriend. He looks down at the note and hands it to San. "You can pick and I'll film that one." San chuckles and nods. "Okay." He says as he lets his eyes scan the piece of paper.

As San is passing out all the options to Seonghwa, he starts recording them right away and it's a lot easier this time now San is here and giving him advice while helping him out. After about an hour Seonghwa filmed every version he had to for the mission. He puts the camera aside and leans over his boyfriend, looking deeply into his eyes.

"Thank you Sannie." "Anytime babe." Seonghwa relaxes and leans down to kiss his boyfriend gently on his lips. "Now it's time for some more cuddles!" San shouts and smiles at he looks up at his boyfriend.

"I'd love that!" Seonghwa says as he gets up from the bed, letting San snuggle underneath the blankets. Seonghwa snuggles down as well, safely back into San's arms. "You have no idea how thankful I am to have you by my side Sannie. If it wasn't for you I would have never start to get comfortable with myself."

San wraps his arms closer around his boyfriend, knowing that having Seonghwa open up to him is a rare moment and he needs to cherish it and be there for him. He hums softly, inviting Seonghwa to continue.

"I just.. This filming made me feel so insecure again. Like it took me back to the days where I would feel insecure with everything I did. Every step, every movement just everything made me feel uncomfortable and insecure. But when you came in I remembered that that is not who I am today. Sannie ever since you came closer into my life I started to feel so safe and secure. I can't thank you enough for that."

Seonghwa nuzzles his face deeper into San's chest. Feeling both relieved and embarrassed after opening up. He barely opens up to San like this, but he's slowly growing more comfortable with the feeling that San is there for him and he genuinely listens to him when he talks.

"Seonghwa hyung baby, you don't have to thank me. I might play part in your confidence but eventually it's you who is working on it. You're the one creating a different mindset, a better one if I may say so. From the moment I saw you I was mesmerized by your beauty and personality."

"You were?" Seonghwa looks up at his boyfriend in disbelief.

"Totally. You were so charismatic, caring and beautiful. You seemed so confident and I was shocked when you told me how insecure you actually were. I always thought you were really confident. But it's okay that you're not always feeling confident." San says as he kisses his boyfriends forehead softly.

"I feel like I can just be myself around you." 

San smiles brightly. "You can and I'm really glad you're feeling that way too Hwa. I love you for being you. I know that sounds cheesy but it's true. I wouldn't want you any other way angel."

Seonghwa smiles as he grabs San's hand to kiss it. "I love you Sannie." He whispers as he closes his eyes, letting his boyfriends words sink in.

He will always wonder how he got the privilege to be San's boyfriend, but he's not complaining at all. San makes him feel loved and that's all he needs at this point. He relaxes more when he feels San's fingers softly brushing through his hair again. It's little things like this that Seonghwa enjoys the most. The small touches and gestures that make his heart skip a beat.

San feels the same way. He enjoys the little things the most in their relationship. The way Seonghwa will give him a soft back hug when he's staring at himself in the mirror again or the way he will just grab San's hand in public when they're walking.

They both feel like they can handle the world, as long as they're together.

A/N: I'm sorry that it's a bit shorter than my other oneshots, I wanted to make sure I put the focus on the fluff part and not the angst part. Bare with me if it was shitty.

 Thank you so much etherealhwa for this request! I hope you liked it!

My requests are still open! Just send me a dm with a ship/plot/subject whatever you like and I'll try to figure it out!

[text_hash] => 0b00b05e
)