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His lips bruise my skin and a black toxin grows like a tree along my spine as it coarses through my veins.

His weight on top of me is suffocating and his fingertips cut open my skin as they glide delicately down my back.

My screams barely sound human and only intensify the longer it goes on.

Carter grabs a fistful of my hair, pulling my head back and leaning close to my ear. Suddenly everything becomes dead silent as and he whispers something so bone-chilling, so sickening that I awake from my nightmare.

"You're ruined."

My eyes crack open and I'm gulping for air as I frantically reach for the back of my shoulder where Carter had kissed me.

A shuffle in the room causes me to jump and I move as close as I can to the wall.

"Kells, you okay?" his voice is an instant relief.

My frantic blur slows and I meet Vic's soft, loving eyes. I finally focus and see Vic standing across his room with a box in his hands. He must be collecting more things.

"Kells?" he says again, seeming worried.

"Oh, shit, sorry. I had a nightmare." I croak out dropping my hands from my shoulder and wiping my face. It's moist which indicates I was either sweating or crying in my sleep, perhaps both.

"That's okay. You wanna talk about it?" he asks.

"No, it was silly." I whisper, brushing it off like it was nothing.

"Okay." he whispers back.

A tense silence falls over the room and I nervously pull my sleeves down further.

"I see you like my bed." Vic chirps.

"Yeah, it's, uh, comfortable. I'm sorry." I murmur, clearing my throat as my voice catches.

"Don't be sorry." he smiles. "Scooch over."

I move over and Vic slides in next to me. He lays does and pulls me down, holding my head to his chest.

The gesture is so simple but it's what I really needed. I'm overwhelmed with relief and gratefulness which causes me to shed a few tears. Vic doesn't seem to notice though.

"You're right. It's so comfy." Vic smiles.

I wrap my arm around his middle and hug him tightly. We lay in a comfortable silence as I let a few silent tears fall onto Vic's shirt every now and again.

"I almost forgot what this was like." Vic sighs.

"What?" I mumble confused.

"Being with you." he whispers.

My heart aches in my chest and I squeeze my eyes shut to stop the tears.

"I've missed you." I sniff.

"Hey, don't cry." he coos, tucking my hair behind my ear.

I nuzzle my face into his chest to hide my embarrassment.

"I've missed you too Kells and I want you to really understand that. I want to spend time with you, I want to watch stupid movies and I want to cuddle. I want to be around you. You don't have to miss me. I haven't gone anywhere." he murmurs.

"I know." I sniff. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." he says softly.

I nod and smile up at him. He looks down at me and I stare at his lips. What I would give to kiss him, just once. Someone as shitty as Carter doesn't deserve Vic's love.

I snap myself out of my thoughts and look away blushing.

"I found something." I smile.

"Yeah, what did you find?" he asks.

I reach under his pillow and pull out the photograph I found then hand it to him.

"I've been looking for this!" he grins.

"You have?" I ask surprised.

"Yeah, I like to look at it when I feel down. It makes me feel better." he murmurs.

"You get down?" I ask worried.

"Sometimes. It's not a big deal. It's not as bad as it used to be. I just get flat sometimes, you know?" he mumbles. "You make it all better though."

I feel his fingers link with mine and my heart swells probably more than it should.

"You looked so good that night." he murmurs, smiling fondly.

"So did you." I sigh. "That was a great night."

"It was. I liked dancing with you." he grins. "You should dance with me again."

"When?" I giggle.

"Now." he chuckles, nudging me slightly.

"No," I whine. "I can't dance."

"Sure you can. Dance with me. Please." he pleads.

I shake my head and he narrows his eyes at me then he climbs on top of me pinning me down.

Immediately something doesn't feel right.

"I will tickle you." he threatens. "Do you want that?"

I'm beginning to panic a little and my heart rate is picking up. I shake my head struggling to find words.

"Then dance with me." Vic whines.

"Vic," I manage to choke out.

His face falls as he realizes something is wrong.

"Kells, what's wrong?" he asks.

"Off. Get off." is all I manage to choke out through my panicked breaths.

Vic doesn't hesitate and climbs off of me. I sit up and immediately feel air starting to enter my lungs again. Relief washes over me and my heart rate begins to drop.

"Kells," Vic says hesitantly. "are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay." I breathe out. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. What happened?" he asks softly.

"Nothing, nothing, it was nothing." I breathe.

He gently takes my face in his hands, making me look at him.

"Kellin please, that wasn't nothing. It's okay. You can talk to me." he murmurs.

I stare into his caring eyes that hold nothing but love and all I want to do in that moment is kiss him.

I find myself leaning in but thankfully at that moment, Vic's phone starts ringing. I blush and look away from Vic as he drops my face to answer his phone.

"Hello," he chirps. "I'm just getting some more stuff from the old place...yeah, this is his house...babe he's my best friend, relax...I'll come home when I'm ready...I don't care...I have stuff to do...I'll grab some lunch on the way home...I just don't want to go out...you're being dramatic...okay, whatever, bye."

Vic hangs up seeming stressed.

"Everything okay?" I ask worried.

"Yeah, Carter's just a little antsy lately." he sighs.

He stands up and I think he's going to leave but he stops and scrolls through his phone.

Suddenly music starts playing and I instantly recognize the song as Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, the same song that played when Vic and I slow danced all those years ago.

He throws his phone on the bed and holds his hand out, giving me a pleading look. I can't resist his puppy dog eyes so I take his hand and he pulls me off the bed. He wraps my arms around his neck and places his hands on my hips.

Vic and I start swaying to the music and I rest my head against his chest. I listen to his heart beating quickly until I feel his lips on my shoulder. I enjoy the feeling for a second then pull back and look up at him.

I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him so bad. With everything that's happened, it's the only thing I can think of that will make me feel better.

"You're still so beautiful." he whispers to me as the words for the chorus start to play in the background.

And I don't want the world to see me.'Cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

I find myself leaning in again, ever so slightly, but the sound of the music stopping brings me to my senses then Vic's ringtone plays instead.

I sigh and drop my arms from around his neck as he let's go of me and rushes to answer his phone.

"What?" he snaps. "Carter, I'll be home soon...so now I can't have friends?...well it's not like you spend time with me anymore."

Vic shoves his phone in his pocket after that, seeming stressed.

"Fucking hung up on me." he mutters under his breath.

He runs his fingers through his hair then smiles at me sadly.

"I should go." he whispers.

I look down at my hands feeling saddened and nod.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Vic chirps his mood suddenly improving.

I watch him as he digs in his pocket and pulls out a jewelry box. For a split second, I think it's an engagement ring, but then realize the box is a little too big, and then I remember Vic has a boyfriend who is most definitely not me.

He hands me the box and I look up at him confused.

"What is it?" I frown in confusion.

"Open it." he grins.

I lift the lid, revealing a beautiful silver bracelet made up of linked hearts.

"Vic, oh my god, it's beautiful." I gasp, my cheeks going red due to his sweetness.

"I did tell you I wanted to buy you a bracelet so I thought I'd keep to my word." he grins. "Here, let me put it on."

I give him the box and he delicately takes the bracelet out. He unlatches it and I hold out my arm. He pushes back my sleeve and goes to put the bracelet on but that's when he, as well as myself, notices my wrist. It's swollen, bloody and oozing pus.

"Kells, fuck, this is infected." he gasps worried. "Show me the other one."

I roll up my other sleeve and notice it's the same. I then notice how tender they feel.

He takes my hand quickly and pulls me out of the room. We go down to the bathroom and he sits me down on the lid of the toilet. He looks around under the sink for the first aid kit.

I feel both embarrassed and ashamed. I ruined such a nice moment and now Vic is worried about me.

He opens up the first aid kit and takes out an alcohol wipe. He looks pissed off as he rips open the package and takes my hand.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

He doesn't answer and starts gently cleaning the wound on my wrist. I hiss as the alcohol stings. Next he takes the antiseptic cream and gently dabs it around my wrist. He takes the gauze bandage out of the kit and gently starts wrapping my wrist. He's being so gentle like he's trying not to hurt me. He cuts off the bandage and then tapes it down.

For the first time since he started, his face softens and he doesn't look so angry. He leans down and kisses my wrist then starts on the other one.

"Kell, I need you to just be honest with me," Vic begins, his voice cracking. "Did someone do this to you or did you do this to yourself?"

My eyes flood with tears and I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. I don't know whether it's better to lie or tell the truth. If I tell the truth he'll be asking who did this to me, if I lie he'll think I broke my promise. So I say nothing.

He drops my arm and takes my face in his hands, giving me a desperate teary look.

"Please Kellin, don't you want it to stop hurting?" he pleads.

And I do. I want it all to stop hurting. I can't think of anything that will be more relieving.

And I nearly say it, I nearly tell him, but then Carter's words ring through my head.

He'll hurt Vic if I tell anyone.

I can't risk my best friend getting hurt. I can't. I love him too much.

I throw my arms around Vic and bury my face into his neck as I start sobbing. His arms automatically wrap back around me, squeezing me tightly.

"I'm here, Kells, whatever you need, if it's a place to stay or someone to talk to, just ask. I'd do anything for you." he murmurs.

His words soothe me and I calm down enough to speak. I cup his cheek as I pull out of his arms.

"All I need is for you to stop worrying about me. I'm okay, I promise." I assure him.

"Kells, you've been through a lot, and I mean a lot. But you've never struggled like this before, never. You've never became so reserved, you've never kept things from me. I just need to know that you're okay, I need to know that you're safe." he urges.

"Vic, I'm not in any danger." I tell him.

"Kells," he stops and sighs deeply. "the way you're behaving, I've seen that before."

He speaks slowly and with hesitance like he's dancing around what he really wants to say.

"Where?" I ask confused.

"There was a time when I was really suicidal–"

"Whoa, whoa, no, no, no." I interrupt him, completely stunned by his insinuation. "Vic, I'm not suicidal."

"Okay, okay, okay." he says in surrender but also sounding a little relieved.

He leans forward and kisses my forehead which sparks a smile out of me.

"Just remember, I'm here if you need anything." he murmurs.

I nod and wipe down my wet face.

"Are you and Carter fighting because of me?" I ask, feeling a little sick. I never want to get in the way of Vic's happiness, even if that means jeopardizing my own happiness.

"No, no, of course not. Carter and I are fighting because of Carter. He thinks I'm too close with you." he mumbles.

He looks down and blushes then busies himself with packing up the first aid kit.

"That's ridiculous." I mutter, knowing that Vic will never feel that way about me.

"Tell me about it." Vic mumbles. "He's just insecure."

"Speaking of Carter, you should probably leave." I sigh, suddenly feeling saddened by the reminder that Vic will never love me.

"Yeah, you're right." he sighs, standing up.

He digs in his pocket and pulls out my bracelet again. I smile as I hold out my arm. He wraps it around my now-bandaged wrist and clips the two ends together.

"Beautiful," he whispers, squeezing my hand and kissing it.

"I'll walk you out." I blush.

He nods and drops my hand. He clears his throat then we leave the room.

"Carter and I are planning a dinner next week, you're coming right?" he asks hopefully.

"Of course, when do I ever break a promise?" I smile which makes him grin.

"I knew I could always count on you." he beams.

I see the relief, the gratitude and the love in his eyes and make a pact with myself to never let Vic down.

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