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I'm lying on my hospital bed, staring at the empty handsanitizer dispenser.

The nurse had taken the soap out after I told her I was an alcoholic. I was surprised at my own words. Never did I think I'd admit that to myself. But I not as surprised as I was when she told me she had to remove the handsanitizer because it contained alcohol.

How fucking ridiculous. I'm an alcoholic. I'm not insane. I'm not going to drink the fucking soap.

I woke up yesterday morning, part of me relieved that I had survived, the other part of me gutted.

There's a weird feeling when waking up after a suicide attempt. It's a numbness. A realization that it doesn't get any worse than this. This is it. This is what rock-bottom feels like.

They tell me I can't go home yet. They say I need to be released into the care of a parent, guardian or my next of kin. Vic is put down as my next of kin. He's not picking up the phone though. Why would he? He's getting married, probably right now.

I want to call Jenna but she's at a funeral right now. That's more important. Tay needs her support more than I do.

So I just lay there, staring at the empty soap dispenser.

In my attempts to not think about Vic, Carter or the wedding, I think about what Jenna told me. What if I don't tell someone and Carter hurts someone else? What if that someone else is Vic? I mean, Carter's a straight up sexual predator. Who's to say he won't hurt Vic? Mike said he's already very controlling of Vic. Once he doesn't have me to take his urges out on, what is he going to do? He said he likes when I scream. Does that mean he's going to make Vic scream? Can Carter even have normal sex?

I start to panic a little. Vic is about to marry a rapist. I keep calling him my rapist but he could be anyone's rapist.

I can't let him do it. I can't let him marry a monster.

I remove the medical tape from over the needle of the IV drip in my hand. Then I pull the needle out completely. It hurts and there's a little blood but that's unimportant to me right now.

I climb out of bed and tiptoe to the door before closing it quietly. I find my clothes in the drawer next to my hospital bed and get changed quickly but I can't find my shoes. I don't even know if I arrived here in shoes.

My body is aching and my head is spinning. I really shouldn't be leaving this hospital. But my well-being is the least important thing at the moment.

I go over to the window and look down, I'm only two stories up but the windows are barred, probably because I'm on suicide watch.

I go back over to the door and quickly slip the hospital bracelet under my sleeve before I slip out of the door.

I put my head down and avoid eye contact with anyone who passes me. Hopefully no one notices I'm barefoot.

Soon enough though, I'm walking out of the hospital. The sun burns my eyes and I'm so dizzy.

I don't know what I'm going to do but I have to stop Vic from marrying Carter, one way or another. Maybe it might be time for the truth to come out.

I start walking as fast as I can towards home which thankfully isn't too far away, but it takes longer than expected do to my cloudy state.

When I get inside, I consider calling the hospital and getting them to take me back there. I feel so weak. I had my stomach drained so I need fluids.

But I can't go back there until I stop Vic from making the biggest mistake of his life.

I find the invitation on the fridge and get the address, then I call a cab because lord knows if I drive, I will not make it to the church alive.

I get into the cab when it arrives and tell the driver to go as fast as he can to the church. Even with him going slightly over the speed limit, I feel like we don't get there fast enough.

I throw money at the driver and tell him to keep the change then I practically fall out of the car.

I straighten myself out and walk up the door of the church where a man is standing, ready to greet me.

"Did I miss the service?" I ask fearfully.

"Almost, if you get in there quick, you might be able to catch the end." he says.

I notice him glance down at my feet. I probably should have put some shoes on.

"Just sneak in." he says quietly, opening the door.

I slip through and lose the ability to breathe when I see Carter and Vic standing at the end of the aisle. They're holding hands and Carter is grinning at Vic but all I can focus on is the forced happiness in Vic's eyes.

The celebrant's words snap me back to reality.

"And do you, Victor Fuentes, take Carter Cruz to be your lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love until death do you part."

Everything happens in slow-motion. I watch Vic open his mouth, to say those dreaded words but my instincts kick in.

"No!" I shout, running down the aisle.

"Kell, what are you doing?" Vic hisses as I stand in front of him and Carter.

I can't help but to admire how good he looks in his tux.

"Vic, you can't marry him." I whisper, tears flooding my eyes.

I spare Carter a glance who seems to be getting more enraged by the second.

"Why?" Vic shrills, seeming frustrated with me.

I want to tell the truth but the pressure of Vic's family behind me and Carter's glare searing into the side of my face is too much. So I spit out a lie, a horrible, horrible lie.

"Carter's cheating on you." I blurt out.

Vic looks confused then looks to Carter.

"He's lying!" Carter screeches. "He's just jealous. Don't listen to him."

Vic then turns back to me and I worry he's not going to take my word over Carter's. I mean, why would he? This is the man he's about to marry.

"How do you know?" Vic asks me unsurely.

I take a breath and let tears fall from my eyes.

"Because he's cheating on you with me."

Vic clenches his jaw and looks from Carter to me, confused and heartbroken.

"Carter, is he...is he telling the truth?" Vic squeaks out.

I lock eyes with Carter, giving him a warning look. If he doesn't go along with this then I'll tell the truth and I'm sure he doesn't want that as much as I don't.

He sighs and turns to Vic.

"Babe, it was just until we were married. It's not going to happen again." Carter says softly.

"I can't fucking believe you!" Vic shouts.

"Vic, there were no feelings involved. I love you. It meant nothing." Carter urges.

"That makes it okay? You were fucking my best friend! While we were engaged!" Vic shouts.

I can hear chattering behind me and I feel sick. Everyone must think so low of me right now.

Vic turns to me, his face covered in tears and anguish.

"We had a vow! And you have that up for my fiance!" Vic cries.

A lump fills my throat and I want to sink into the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Vic." I whisper.

"Leave." he croaks. "Leave and don't come back. I don't ever want to see you again."

I choke out a sob and nod, respecting his wishes. I walk back down the aisle passing Vic's family.

I lock eyes with his mom who is shaking her head at me disappointed.

I just put my head down shamefully and leave the church. I go around to the side of the building and fall down on the grass in a fit of sobs. There's an indescribable ache in my chest. Is this what a broken heart feels like?

Vic hates me. I've lost him from my life forever. But it was for the best. I would rather lose him than watch him marry a rapist.

I sit there crying for what feels like an eternity until someone grabs my hair and I'm being pulled to my feet. It's Carter. He slams my head into the cement wall causing a numbing pain to take over.

"What the fuck did you just do?" he yells.

"The right thing." I whimper.

"Well guess what, you've fucked things up for the both of us. He hates you." he spits.

"It's better than him marrying you. You would have hurt him eventually and you can't deny that." I breathe.

"You don't know that!" he shouts.

"Really, Carter? Do you think you could resist hurting him your entire life? You can barely control yourself!" I spit.

"But I loved him." he whimpers.

"You can't love anyone or anything." I hiss.

He slams my head back into the wall but instead of pain shooting through me, there's just blackness as I pass out.

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