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Waking up next to Vic is weird. I've woken up next to Vic before but it's never felt like this. There's no longing in my chest. There's no sadness, no disappointment, no raw aching. Because Vic is mine. I have no reason to hurt anymore. I have everything I've ever wanted.

He's just staring at me. His eyes wide and puffy, having just woken up. His hair is a mess and his breath kinda smells, but he's perfect.

He's gently running his hand up and down my side in a soothing manner.

"Hey," I finally whisper.

"Hi." Vic whispers back making me giggle.

He gives me an adoring smile and brushes his thumb over my cheek.

"Am I still dreaming?" he whispers in awe.

I had the same thought waking up.

"No, this is real." I assure him.

"This is weird." he whispers.

"Good weird or bad weird?" I ask, biting my lip.

"Good weird. Great weird. Fantastic weird." he grins

He then pulls my lip from beneath my teeth and gently kisses me. My lips tingle at the simple gesture.

"I thought it'd be uncomfortable," he begins, his voice raspy and sexy. "We were friends for so long. I thought it'd be unnatural moving our relationship from platonic to romantic."

"But it's not." I finish for him. "It feels right."

He just nods and kisses me again. Neither of us are eager to end the kiss so it goes on for a while and soon enough Vic's tongue is in my mouth and I'm slowly climbing on top of him.

I sigh frustrated, in every sense of the word, as I pull away from Vic. I'm sure he can feel my hard-on pressing into his stomach.

"I think we need a 'no making out' rule." I mumble.

He smiles sadly but nods.

"Yeah, I agree." he sighs deeply.

I fall back down beside him and will my body to calm down.

"No guy has ever had such an effect on me." Vic murmurs which makes me blush. "It's like I've wanted you for so long and now that I have you, I don't know how to slow down and restrict myself. It's like I've starved myself for years and now I'm trying to just take one bite, but I want all of it."

I watch him speak as he looks up at the ceiling, just completely mesmerized.

"I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable." he whispers.

"It doesn't." I smile, taking his hand comfortingly. "I feel the same way. It's like simultaneously trying to make up for lost time and trying to rush through everything in fear that it's going to be over suddenly."

"Are you scared we're not going to be able to make this work?" Vic frowns, turning his head to look at me.

"Absolutely," I admit. "I've fantasised about our relationship for a decade. But that's just fantasy. It's not going to be the same. It's not going to be as perfect as I want it to be. But I'm excited for the reality of it. I'm so happy that this is finally happening and I can experience what it's really like. I'm sick of living in my head."

Vic smiles and leans in to kiss me but averts his lips and kisses my nose.

My virginity has already been taken from me but my vow of abstinence still holds importance to me. I can already tell getting through these next few years, or however long, will be difficult for Vic and I. What Vic said was right, I've been resisting him so long that now I have him, I want every part of him. Controlling ourselves around each other is going to be more of a struggle than ever.

"I think not much will change." Vic smiles softly. "I think we'll probably be closer, more flirty, and definitely more physical. But I think our relationship will just be an amplified version of our friendship."

I smile at the thought of that. I want things to be simple with Vic. I don't want drama. I dont want things to change too much.

"Are you going to move back in?" I ask shyly. "I miss having you around."

Vic smiles a little and looks down.

"Why don't we get a house together? Just you and me." he suggests, looking back to me.

I'm shocked by his proposition.

"But what about Jenna? She'll be all alone. She can't pay the full rent for this place. Besides, we could never afford it." I ramble, being my usual pessimistic self, or perhaps just realistic.

"We'll get a loan. And Jenna and Tay are engaged, I think it's about time they moved in together anyway." Vic smiles.

He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it softly.

"Do you not like the idea?" he asks, seeming a little worried.

"I love the idea. But there's a lot to consider." I frown.

"What's to consider?" Vic asks. "I want to live with you. We'll get the money. It'll be fine, Kells."

He's trying to be comforting but my mind is racing.

"You don't even have a job at the moment and I just got fired. How are we supposed to pay rates, utilities and a mortgage?

"You have savings and I'm on paid vacation. As soon as my uncle gets back from his cruise, I'll be able to go back to work and make my normal wage. But don't worry about money, Kells. In a few months time you'll be able to get back on your feet and find a new job." he explains.

"In a few months time? You don't think I can handle what happened? I've been handling it fine for a while now." I snap, completely disregarding my alcoholism, self-mutilation and suicide attempt.

Vic frowns at me and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.

"What are you doing?" he asks softly.

I'm confused and frustrated by his question for a second but then I have a realization.

I'm completely self-sabotaging.

"I'm trying to ruin this for myself." I mumble, confused.

"Why, baby?" he murmurs.

Hearing him call me 'baby' is too much and I end up choking out a sob as tears flood my eyes.

"I just feel like I don't deserve any of this." I cry. 

Vic pulls me into his strong arms and kisses my forehead.

"Love, what are you talking about?" Vic chuckles lightheartedly. "I think you deserve the world."

I sniff and look up at Vic, trying to pull myself together.

"My behavior these past couple of weeks has been disgusting. I'm just unworthy." I choke out.

"Kells, it wasn't you fault."

"It was though! I'm pathetic and weak. I neglected our friendship for starters. And that was long before Carter put his hands on me. I couldn't handle my own emotions so I started cutting and drinking. And instead of pushing through it all, I took the easy way out and tried to kill myself! And you know why Carter was attracted to me? Because I was weak! He saw me as an easy target. If I wasn't so pathetic, none of this would have ever happened." I cry hysterically.

"Nothing you just said is true." Vic mumbles, his hand running soothingly up and down my back. "Carter targeted you because he saw how much you cared about me. He knew you wouldn't tell anyone. The way you handled things was not weak. No sane person in your position would have been able to push through that without some form of coping mechanism. And suicide is not easy, there's nothing more difficult than deciding to give everything you've ever loved up to ease your pain. You are not weak, Kells. You survived all of that and you're still able to laugh and smile. That makes you the strongest person I know."

I sniff and look up at him. He wipes the tears from my face and gently kisses my lips.

"I love you." I whisper, grateful for his words.

"I love you too." he smiles back.

"We should go make breakfast. I'm hungry." I murmur.

"No," Vic whines, his grip tightening around me. "I want to stay here, with you, forever."

I laugh at his cuteness but wiggle out of his arms.

"As dreamy as that sounds, I need to eat or I'll die." I laugh.

"Fine," he groans, amused.

Neither of us get up though. We just stare at each other grinning.

I can't believe this is happening. After ten years of longing and heartbreak, we're finally together. I wonder if Vic's thinking the same thing.

My obnoxious stomach interrupts the moment though and Vic laughs.

"Okay, okay, I got it." Vic laughs, seemingly talking to my stomach.

He rolls out of bed and I follow suit, staring at the muscles contracting on his muscular back as he stretches.

I allow myself to stare, something I never used to do. It's not weird if I stare anymore. He's mine, he's all mine.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Vic chirps as we walk into the kitchen.

He takes his place behind the counter, waiting for my answer.

"You don't have to make me breakfast." I blush.

"I want to!" he chirps. "What do you want? I was thinking pancakes but whatever you want. Your pick."

I hesitate at first.

Does he want to make me breakfast out of love or sympathy? I don't want to be treated like a victim because of what Carter did. I don't want a pity party.

I stop my thoughts because I'm getting upset over nothing. My boyfriend wants to make me breakfast. I don't need to read into that. I should stop trying to self-sabotage.

"Pancakes are fine." I say softly as I take my place on a stool, opposite Vic.

He gets to work, buzzing about the kitchen happily as he begins making me breakfast. I just stare at him, entranced by the sheer idea of him. I think he catches me staring a few times, as his cheek continuously tint with blush.

Soon enough, Jenna's walking into the room wrapped in a robe, her long blonde hair messy.

"Good morning, Bride-To-Be." I grin, suddenly remembering that she's engaged.

"Morning." She blushes. "What's for breakfast?"

"Vic is making pancakes." I chirp.

"Awesome." she grins, taking a seat next to me. "I have something to tell you guys."

"Oh so now you're going to tell us that you're engaged." Vic sighs with mock exasperation.

She giggles and shakes her head.

"Actually, Tay and I want to move in together." she chirps.

"That's great! Vic and I are getting a house together so that works out perfectly." I grin.

"We are?" Vic grins, turning to me.

The excitement in his eyes gets me excited.

"Yeah, it's a good idea." I smile.

Vic bites his bottom lip but still manages a goofy grin as he dishes up breakfast.

"Do you want maple syrup and strawberries or chocolate syrup and ice-cream?" Vic asks.

I can't help but to blush and let out the smallest giggle. He knows me so well.

"I think it's a chocolate syrup and ice-cream kind of day." I whisper.

He leans forward and quickly kisses my nose and then he's off to get the ice-cream from the freezer, leaving me a blushing mess.

"You're so cute when you're shy around me." Vic murmurs, getting out a spoon to scoop the vanilla ice-cream with.

"Sorry, I'm just not used to this. I feel like I'm dying. In a good way though!" I say quickly. "You kill me in a good way."

Vic just chuckles and pushes the plate of pancakes and ice-cream towards me. Then he hands me the chocolate syrup so I can expertly apply it just how I like it.

"Ugh, I swear to god, I knew you guys were going to be cute together, but I didn't expect this. I'm going to cry." Jenna squeals then pushes a toppingless pancake into her mouth, something I will never understand.

"No, don't cry." Vic whines. "If you start crying then Kellin will start crying and then I'll start crying. And I'm an ugly crier which will not impress my new boyfriend."

I'm left in a fit of laughs at Vic's melodrama. He chuckles shyly and looks down blushing.

Who knew that a relationship would leave Vic and I so sheepish with each other? It's great. Shy Vic is so cute.

Vic leans forward and kisses my cheek softly, then begins putting maple syrup on his own pancakes.

I'm scooping some melted ice-cream onto my spoon until a sound scares me so much I have to drop it.

I freeze as there's a knock on the door. I always freeze when there's a knock on the door. With good reason. There's only one person who that could be.

"I'll get it." Jenna chirps, already sliding of her barstool.

"No!" I shout, anxiety and distress evident in my tone.

Jenna stops and looks back at me but I'm looking at Vic. He straightens up, a dark look looming in his eyes as his jaw clenches tightly.

"Is that him?" he asks quickly and coldly.

"I, I don't know. Don't answer the door." I stammer out, scared.

No one moves and soon there's another knock, making me flinch again.

"Kellin, you home?" It's him. It's Carter.

Vic's quick to move around from the counter and I reach for his wrist as he storms past me but I miss.

"Vic, Vic, no!" I stammer out but he doesn't seem to hear me.

Instead, he throws the door open, revealing Carter who looks surprised to see Vic.

"Son of a bitch." Vic growls and then he's slamming Carter into the closest wall.

I've never seen Vic get violent, never, which is why I don't expect Vic to punch Carter, but he does. And he punches hard.

"Vic!" I scream, seeing instant blood on Vic's knuckles. It's unclear whether it's his or Carter's blood.

Carter's trying to hold up his hands in defence but Vic punches him again.

"Vic!" I repeat but he doesn't listen.

My feet feel as though they're bolted to the ground but I manage to will them to move and next thing I know, I'm attached to Vic's bicep, trying to pull him off Carter. But Vic's so much stronger than I am and he doesn't even seem to notice my presence at all.

I get a close up look at the rage in his eyes. It's a dark, fiery look that I've never seen before, and it scares me.

I don't dare look at Carter's face. I can't watch the impact of Vic's fist. I can't bear to see all the blood.

As I'm desperately trying to tear Vic off Carter, Vic retracts his arm to punch once again, but elbows me right in the eye, with such force that I fall over.

"Kellin!" Jenna yells, falling down beside me as I hold my aching eye and groan.

"Jenna, call the police." I stammer out then I start sobbing, because I'm scared and I'm in pain. The one person who always made me feel safe is scaring me, and the one person who always made everything better hurt me.

I don't know if it's my words or my wails that makes Vic stop, or maybe his hand gets sore, but he stops and drops down next to me.

I whimper and shift away from Vic quickly.

He looks horrified, but also horrifying. He's drenched in blood and it's clear that very little of it is his.

"Vic, back off!" Jenna growls.

I look to up at her and see her holding a phone to her ear. I don't know if she's on the line with the operator yet or not. I rest my head against her and she wraps one arm around me.

I continue to cry as I look to Vic who has his knees pulled to his chest. He's visibly shaking and tears are pushing through the thick layer of blood on his cheeks.

My head snaps towards Carter who's on the ground, groaning and whimpering. I can't see his face. I don't want to.

Jenna's talking but it's muffled. All I can hear is my heavy breathing and my heart thumping against my chest.

I look back to Vic who is choking up vomit onto the floor and sobbing hysterically.

And then I hear sirens. Vic's head snaps up and he stops crying as he hears them too. Fear clouds his eyes the color drains from his face.

Then I feel sick. I just called the police on my boyfriend. My best friend. The love of my life. Vic.

The police come in first, bearing tasers. Vic immediately puts his hands up in surrender and soon he's pulled off the floor and put in handcuffs.

I try to get one last glimpse of Vic as he's escorted out but a paramedic blocks my view as she squats in front of me. She flashes a light in my eye which confuses me and then I'm being laid down and lifted onto a stretcher.

I turn to Jenna who's holding my hand and seems to be talking to me but I can't hear her. I'm honestly not even sure if I'm breathing.

There's movement and we go out the door where Carter was once lying. He must be somewhere else now.

Then in a blur I'm taken to the hospital and doctor's stare at me and ask me questions that I can't hear or comprehend.

Soon enough, I'm finally alone in a room with Jenna, an IV attached to my arm and my hearing back to normal.

"Jen, what happened?" I ask dazed, sitting up. The action immediately makes me feel dizzy.

"You went into shock." she sniffs as she takes my hand again. "And you have a concussion."

But all that is the least of my worries.

"Where's Vic?" I ask frantically.

"Police station." she whispers.

"Is he okay?" I ask worried.

"I don't know. I'm here with you." she says softly.

"Someone needs to be there with him!" I exclaim.

"Kellin, he was just arrested. I doubt anyone is going to be allowed to see him." she explains.

"Oh fuck, Jenna. I fucked up." I whimper.

"You've done nothing wrong." she says calmly.

"I sent my boyfriend to jail." I choke out.

"He was out of control. Carter's sitting in the ICU right now because of that. Calling the police was the right call."

"ICU? Here?" I ask urgently, already trying to pull the IV out of my arm.

"Kell, what are you doing?" she asks worried.

"I need to fix things. Make them right. Get my boyfriend back." I say with determination.

I don't know what I'd do if Vic went to prison. I only just got him, I don't want to lose him.

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