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Dedication: ElainaHayman4 for the awesome cover, thank you!

"Can we just kiss and make up now?" Imogen persisted, following me around like a lost dog. I sighed, turning to face her, pursing my lips.

"We can make up, but no, I'm not kissing you."

"Yay. We're best friends again." she grinned childishly, clapping her hands.

I rolled my eyes. "Sorry about the other day. I was just..."

"It's okay, I understand. I'm sorry too."

I gave her a small smile and she wrapped her arms around my neck, attempting to strangle me. I squeaked embarrassingly, but laughed it off. We didn't speak at all last night or yesterday afternoon. Apparently, she missed me?

"You can let go now." I deadpanned.

She laughed, releasing me. "I made up with Chase too. All is right in the world."

"For you."

I turned and continued getting ready. I ran the straightener over my long, brunette hair. It cascaded down my back and rested on the edge of my elbows. I puffed it up slightly, giving it more volume, before I turned it off. Double checking my appearance and after being satisfied, I began packing my bag for the day. Well, actually, packing a pen and a book. I think that will be sufficient enough. I have already had numerous people ask me if I had a hickey on my neck, but no, it was just the start of a cigarette bur, from my dear old friend Chloe.

I hadn't seen Colin, since our steamy session in the gym. I wasn't sure if I was excited to see him or dreading it. When things usually started going good with him, he bailed, ruining everything. Wrenching the door open, I strode out of the dorm. I heard heavy footsteps fall behind me, before Imogen marterialised by my side. She shot me a toothy grin. I rolled my eyes at her. She was actually that happy to be 'best friends' again.

I didn't exactly see the pleasure in my company, to be honest.

Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear with a sigh, I began wishing I was anywhere but at school. The urge to go destroy myself at the gym was growing stronger and stronger. I made a mental note to slip in a session after my classes were over. Imogen was babbling excessively about some gossip show, but I wasn't tuned in. I was too busy dwelling on a certain bad boy, who I may or may not be sitting with, in only mere minutes. I mumbled, "mm," and "yeah," when appropriate, until we parted ways and I winded down to my English classroom.

I slithered in and made my way to my desk, wanting nothing more than just to sink away into nothing and just sleep. Forever. I planted my chin into my palm, already bored. It wasn't long before Mr. Johnston was striding in, acting like he was God. Or Wentworth Miller. Colin soon followed and collapsed beside me. I unintentionally stiffened, just waiting for him to ignore me. He turned and gave me a heart-stopping, crooked smile. Okay, I think there was actual drool escaping my mouth.

"Morning," he murmured, his eyes raking over my body.

Reply, you idiot!

"May!" I blurted.

We both blinked at each other for a moment, not knowing what to do. Since when did I stuff up my words? I cleared my throat and casually lent back. "Morning, I mean."

"May?" he echoed, smirking.

"Sometimes I combine my words together. Morning and day, you know, the cool kids do that."

His smirk only grew as I mentally slapped myself. Jeeze I was stupid sometimes. I tried to remain normal as he chuckled.

"Sure they do."

The lesson began and I found myself smiling. The relief that was flooding through my body was intense. I didn't realise how much I had been dreading that he was going to have a freak out about our... activity in the gym.

I won't be able to look at that treadmill the same again.

Occasionally, our legs would brush or our fingers would find themselves bumping together, almost as though our skins were magnets. Every time my heart would somewhat stutter inside my chest, which was annoying. I used to do anything with a boy and remain emotionless. But no, Colin just has to look at me and my stomach decides it wants to join the spaghetti circus. The bell buzzed loudly and I twitched, rising to my feet. My bad mood had lifted and I was actually feeling pretty good about myself. Ugh, I was so love sick that it made me want to vomit. My stupid feelings were so sweet I felt the urge to brush my teeth.

What the hell was happening to me? Maybe I should distance myself from him...

As if reading my mind and deliberately going against my wishes, Colin turned around, causing me to run straight into his chest. I gasped, stumbling backwards. His arm shot out and steadied me. I gulped, my eyes dipping to his stomach.

"You should come back to my house one weekend."

"What?" I asked in surprise, my eyes snapping to his. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." he reprimanded.

"Ah... sure? I suppose so." I muttered, refusing to let the giant grin escape across my face.

Last time, despite his annoying step-father, I had immensely enjoyed my time with his family. Just being with them, having home-made meals and general chit chat, just involving what you did that day, was really refreshing. And, nice? It was a weird feeling to explain. It just reminded me how much I missed my family. Momentarily, it let me believe, just for a moment, that they were my family and I wasn't alone. I then would come straight back here and be harshly reminded that I was. And forever will be. I needed to get over the fact and just embrace it. Yeah, I may find a 'partner' eventually, but they will leave. Just like everyone else does.

"Are you okay?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow. "You just went really serious."

I pulled myself out from my mental dilemma and plastered a false smile on my face. "Yeah, I'm fine. See you."

I pushed around him and hastily exited the classroom, eager to just get away from everyone. I think I'll skip History. I'm sure I'll catch up. The racket and disruption that class endured through I doubt I would miss much anyway. I had just flung my dorm door open when my elbow was ripped painfully backwards. I cry left my mouth and I spun, projecting my fist forward. It slashed Imogen across the cheek and she toppled over backwards, landing in a sprawl.

Jesus, I hardly even touched her and she went down faster than a bowling ball.

"Ah crap," I muttered, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. I forced the memories of my uncle into a file in the back of my head, labelled 'do not ever open' and shook my head. "You should know not to sneak up on me like that!"

She groaned and at a painfully slow rate, stood up, leaning on the wall. She cradled her face, a red welt mark on her cheek. She winced as she gingerly touched it. I saw tears brim at her eyes and a slight bit of guilt pooled in my stomach.

"Ow." was all she muttered.

I gave her a tight smile. "Your own fault."

"Jeeze, thanks for the sympathy, cat woman."

I rolled my eyes and resumed entering my dorm. I heard her footsteps ascend behind me, making it evident she was skipping her next class as well. I shrugged my bag off my shoulders and collapsed heavily on my bed.

"You're skipping because...?" I asked.

"I always skip." she shrugged. "I get bored easily."

"I know."

"I'm not going to ask you why you are. You know, with you and your anti-personal thing going on."

"What anti-personal thing?"

"Oh you know. Whenever I ask something about your background or family, you blow up like that fish on Nemo."

I snorted at the imagery. "Thanks for putting me in comparison with that."

"You're welcome."

I dodged around her blatant prying and nuzzled myself further into my mattress. I heard her sigh heavily, still probing at her cheek.

"See, there you go. Avoid the subject. Like usual."

"I don't want to talk about it. Just get over it already."

"You don't have to be so rude."

"It's easier doing that than forcing myself to not-so 'reminisce' down memory lane." I muttered dryly.

"Fine." she breathed, shaking her head. "I won't ask again."

"Good."

Silence lapsed between us and I let my eyes close. I was actually on the edge of sleep, when she spoke again.

"We have that thing coming up."

"Define 'thing'."

"You know, where those high school kids come here to see how 'bad' us delinquents are. They're touring our school to see the insights of the 'worst school in the state'." she laughed humourlessly. "It's always so entertaining. They think they're so much better. What I love the most, is when you get a couple of the 'cool' kids, sneak away from the group to mix with us. Yeah, we show them how much of a good time you can have here, that's for sure."

"Sounds fun." I remarked.

"Yeah. I think this year, River High is coming."

My eyes snapped open faster almost faster than humanly possible. "What now?"

"I said River High-"

"That's my old school." I exclaimed, stunned, reeling into sitting position. "My God..."

Her eyes widened dramatically. Her mouth fell into an 'O' shape. "I'm guessing that's not a good thing?"

"I haven't seen them since my little... downwards spiral. For all I know all my friends hate me now. Haven't heard from them in months."

Will Gabe come?

The question swirled restlessly around my brain. My throat went dry, just at the thought. The first boy I had loved. The boy I actually thought I was going to end up marrying and having little Hayley's with.

Imagine that...

"When are they coming?" I asked, my voice sound scarily high.

She raised her eyebrows at me. "A week..."

This was going to be a disaster.

It was like my mind was stuck on replay. It just kept going over and over the conversation I had with Imogen last night. Six Days. My ex-friends and ex- love of my life may be here, to see me, in this hole of a place, in only six days.

Ah, hell.

I agitatedly raked my fingers through my hair, feeling my head throb. It's not that I didn't want to see them, I just don't know what will happen if I do. So many unanswered questions... so many regrets. So much pain.

"Hey babe." a voice said beside me, causing me to jump about a metre in the air. I spun around to see Jeremy, shooting me a smirk. "How's it?"

I narrowed my eyes. Why does everyone think it's acceptable to sneak up on people? Or was it that I was just so absorbed in my own problems, everything else becomes oblivious to me?

"Better not to ask." I said, facing away from him again.

"Aw, diddums. Want to hit up the gym? I know you really like to... work out, there."

"Ha ha." I laughed sarcastically, striding forwards. "You're hilarious."

"I know. It's a part of my charming personality."

I just looked at him and he grinned. I continued marching towards my History lesson. I really didn't want to go. The subject was becoming more boring that watching paint dry. But hey, if I didn't make an appearance, at least a couple times, I'd have to endure through lunch time detentions.

Food was just too precious to me.

"We should have a get-together tonight." he suggested, rubbing his hands together, surprisingly keeping pace with me. I was in a bit of a mission, since we were both five minutes late. "I feel like getting blind."

"Sure. Not in my dorm though. I'm not cleaning up."

"Lazy."

"Bite me."

"Let's have it at mine. Colin's going home anyway, so he won't be there to moan about people being in his bed."

Oh. Well the party will be crap now. I felt like stabbing myself in the eye. Since when did I have to have a guy, to keep me entertained? I will be fine on my own. I'm so sick of thinking about Colin! Argh.

Pushing thoughts of him away, I returned back to the present. "Okay cool. Who will be coming?"

"Anyone who is anyone, obviously."

I smirked. "Glad I'm at the top of the list."

He laughed, nudging me with his elbow playfully. At that precise moment, the door way materialised in front of us. We entered and found a seat. Mrs. Mcloud pursed her lips in annoyance at us.

"Sorry ma'am," Jeremy said, his voice lacing sarcasm. "Our train was late..."

A few snickers erupted and even I had to bite my cheek from smiling. Her face went a deep shade of crimson as her hands balled up. I guess this was just one of the endless excuses Jeremy came up with every lesson.

Ah well, we were here and that's all that mattered. After giving Jeremy a brief lecture and earning herself the finger, she carried on with whatever dribble she had been droning on previously, before we had interrupted.

I had my chin planted in my palm, my eyes closed, on the borderline of sleep, when the door was opened. I didn't even bother to see who it was. I didn't care.

"Excuse me - is Hayley Larson present?"

My chin jerked up as my eyes swivelled to the lady. She had auburn hair, piled messily on her head and sleek glasses perched low on her nose. She looked grim and forlorn as her eyes met mine. My heart plummeted into my stomach.

This didn't look good.

"Yes." Ms. Mcloud replied shortly.

I stood up, exchanging a confused glance with Jeremy.

"You might want to bring your things." she said quietly.

"Ooh's." could be heard through the class as I made my way around the desks and successfully out the door.

"You're not in trouble." she assured me, not that I even cared anyway.

"Okay?"

I jammed my book and pen in my bag and tucked a strand of my messy hair behind my ear. I glanced up at her and waited impatiently for her to go on.

"Something unfortunate has happened."

Oh. Great.

"Go on." I deadpanned rudely.

"It's your grandmother. She passed away this morning. I'm so sorry."

I blinked at her, the words slowly sinking into my brain. This isn't true. No. I refuse to believe it.

"Bull."

"Do you think I would come and joke about something like this?" she questioned, cocking her head to the side. "Look, whether you want to accept the fact or not, I'm sorry. You've been excused from classes for the rest of the day. Her funeral will be taking place on Thursday. You've been granted permission to leave the grounds for that day and that day only, to attend. Again, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you."

Her mouth was moving but no sound was coming into my ears. All I could see was a blur of tears in my eyes and the stab of pain in my abdomen. I turned and ran, literally, all the way back to my dorm, hardly able to see a thing. I wrenched the door open and my knees gave way. I fell into a heap on the ground, my chest heaving.

I gasped for breath, my hand clutching my chest. My whole body began trembling, as the thoughts clustered my brain. The only person who held my utter most respect. The only person I let myself love in the world. The only one who understood everything I've had to endure through.

Gone. Forever.

I never got to say goodbye...

Okay, so this ended on a heavy note... thoughts?

Instagram: laurenj_22

Snapchat: laurenj_22

Completed Works:

Coach's Number One, Childhood Sweethearts, Chasing Casey, Faithless, The Best Thing For Me, Not Quite Dead (short story), Bad Liar, Downright Delinquents.

On-Going Works:

Darker Than Sin, Coach's Second Best (Coach's Number One sequel).

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