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You're going to hate Aiden for his past, but please find it in you to forgive him for his idiocy and naive ways.

Picture of Aiden to the >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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Aiden's P. O. V

Four years ago...

The new school year was starting, and for me it was my last middle school year, soon I would be starting high school, and I wanted to make this year the best. I was captain of the football team, no doubt about that, and I had both good grades and was popular.

Everybody liked me; I just didn't always like them...

It was a normal day, school had ended for the day and football practice was just finishing up. As everyone headed in to clean up I met up with my best friends Jake and Samuel along the way to the locker room. We chatted along as we walked and a familiar prickling sensation raised the hairs along my neck and I tensed.

I felt as if I were being watched.

It's not like this hasn't happened before, so I was used to the feeling already, since it's been happening to me for two years now, but I guess you could say I've only now been paying more attention to it.

Before I just dismissed it as nothing or another girl fawning over me, as conceited as that sounds, but as the years progressed and the intensity of the gaze increased, I found myself wondering more and more who it is who is watching me.

So I looked around, wanting to find out the source of the look but saw noting and frowned, feeling yet again disappointed that the identity of my stalker, I guess, was not revealed.

"What's wrong Aiden?" Jake asked, noticing my sudden change in mood.

"Nothing," I said and shook off my frown and jumped back into the conversation, laughing along with them even though I didn't particularly find what they said funny.

We entered the locker room and changed out of our football uniforms and proceeded to shower off all the sweat and dirt that coated our bodies, then dried off and headed for our lockers. I wrapped my towel around my waist as I shifted through my locker for my regular clothes, and as I did that same feeling came to me again and I froze.

My eyes widened and I darted them around in search for where the gaze was coming from, anticipation and excitement going through me.

My stalkers here, in this very room, but that can't be, that would mean it's not a... girl, as I thought this my eyes landed on a boy with blond hair and bright eyes. Shock went through me at how beautiful he was, absolutely breathtaking and I found myself frozen, unable to take my eyes off him.

A blush slowly crept along his face the longer our eyes stayed connected and a guilty look crossed his eyes, as if he felt ashamed at getting caught staring and it was only then did I realize he was my stalker.

My mind went blank with panic, before disgust filled me at the knowledge that I was being checked out by a guy, not a girl, and for so long. This faggot has been looking at me like that for two years now! How dare he have such disgusting feelings towards me.

"What the fuck are you looking at faggot," I spat.

As soon as I said those words I regretted it instantly when the light in his eyes died out and everyone's faces filled with disgust. I knew I had just outed the poor boy, and in a school where most don't like his kind. I wanted so badly to take what I said back, but I had no clue as to why.

I hated faggots with a passion. It wasn't right to like another man, wasn't normal, only a man and a women can share those feelings. Liking the same sex meant that you were sinning and would go to hell, or at least that's what my dad taught me.

Angry whispers broke out and everyone backed away from Nathan, not wanting to be near him for fear of catching his gayness, but I couldn't move, my gaze locked on Nathan and I watched in horror as Nathan's eyes glistened with unshed tears and he bolted out of the locker room, not caring that he was half naked from the chest up.

What did I just do? I questioned, my chest tightening with pain, then frowned when I realized that I was thinking and shook myself out of my weird mood. No, I did the right thing. People like him deserve what happens to them, it's his fault for liking other men, so he'll get what's coming to him.

And from that day on I would harass Nathan every day, and it wasn't only me who bullied him, everyone else joined in on the fun. But every time I did something to hurt him, a hollow feeling would engulf me, and my heart would constrict with pain, especially when I would look into Nathan's eyes and see his growing hatred for me.

It wasn't long after me outing him did Nathan quit football. He couldn't handle the constant worry of being surrounded by a bunch of guys that hate you for who you were and was always out to get you.

Nathan then started skipping school regularly. A class here and there, but then the number of times he didn't come escalated from him not just skipping class, but the whole day and eventually only came once or twice a week.

The days Nathan did come to school he looked like death. His skin had grown paler from not being in the sun all the time like he used to be, and his face and eyes were cold, showing no emotion at all, except for when they landed on me, that's when he gave me a taste of what he was feeling.

Hatred, complete and utter dislike for me.

To say it didn't pain me that he looked at me that way was an understatement. It saddened me to have him stare at me like that when his eyes used to hold such adoration, such...such love for me; it filled me with sorrow and self-hatred for changing him so much.

Then on the day of graduation, after we all received our diplomas and had gone home to celebrate did I hear the news that was the talk of the town: Nathan had gone and moved unexpectedly.

It shocked me, hearing that and suddenly I no longer felt like celebrating. However, everyone else thought it was great news and whispered 'good riddance' and other rude words that made me sick to my stomach.

That's when something in me changed.

It wasn't a sudden change, but a gradual one that took a few weeks before any indication of that change was highly noticeable.

At first I would have short, onsets of depression and emptiness that I would get randomly. I had no clue as to why I would feel that way, or what caused it; only that it had begun after Nathan's departure.

Then I would find myself thinking about Nathan, missing him and trying to find memories of him before the whole ordeal and would come up with a few where he was smiling brightly, eyes shining with happiness, and laughter that rang out and filled me with warmth, and good God did I miss it.

I didn't know why I was so hung up on him at first, but then it hit me, and hard.

I was in love with Nathan.

The realization of this chilled me to the bone and I shook my head in denial. There was no way that I had fallen in love with Nathan, a faggot, that would make me one as well, and the thought made me pale considerably and feel nauseous, as if I were going to throw up.

No, I couldn't be one of them, but the harder I tried to convince myself otherwise, the more I came to realize the inevitable.

I was gay.

It scared me so much so that I was gay, that I turned to bullying other gay people to convince everyone else that I was a homophobe, that there was no possibility that I liked men. If people found out I was gay, then my life would be ruined.

My family would surly disown me and kick me out, everyone would hate me and leave me.

I would have no friends.

No family.

Nothing.

And I couldn't have that happening.

So I tried my hardest to forget all about Nathan, to forget the whole incident, and had almost convinced myself that I wasn't gay by the time I was in my last year of high school, 'almost' being the key word.

***

Present day...

The sound of my alarm clock going off had me bolting upright, heart pounding, eyes wide as I was startled out of my restless sleep. I flicked my eyes around my room, taking in how neat and bare it was and relaxed.

All night I had been plagued by dreams that I couldn't seem to remember but knew that they were nightmares that had me tossing and turning in my sleep. I let out a deep breath and slumped back against my beds headboard and ran a hand through my messy hair, glancing at my clock as I did so, only to see how late it was.

I cursed and jumped out of my bed, scrambling towards my closet when I realized I was going to be late for school at this rate. I only had about twenty minutes to get ready before I had to leave and I still had yet to shower.

Quickly I hopped in the shower and was out five minutes later, amazed at myself for even being able to take that long when usually it took me fifteen minutes, it was probably the fastest shower I've taken, ever.

Without pause I got dressed and headed downstairs, knowing breakfast would be waiting for me, and like I predicted, as soon as I headed downstairs I could smell the delicious smell of bacon and eggs. My mouth watered and I followed the sent into the kitchen where I found my mom cooking and my dad seated on one of the kitchen stools reading a newspaper.

My mom looked up from what she was cooking and glanced my way when she heard my approach and a warm smile spread along her face, her brown eyes twinkling with happiness.

"Good morning Aiden, how was your sleep?" She asked while stirring the scrambled eggs in the pan.

I shrugged. "Okay I guess," I lied, not wanting to share my sleeping troubles with her, knowing it would only cause her unnecessary worry.

"That's good," she turned to scoop up the eggs into a plate, deeming it ready to eat and handed it to me. "Here you go, there's some bacon over there if you want any," she informed and I nodded my head.

I grabbed a couple of bacon and a fork, then went and joined my father on a stool, keeping my eye on the clock, not wanting to be late. "Morning father," I greeted and he hardly looked up from what he was reading; only grunting in acknowledgment of my presence.

I sighed and began eating quickly, wanting to leave the house and get away from my father as soon as possible. My father and I aren't exactly on the best of terms all the time. He was the kind of strict father that you wanted to bash over the head. He was a stuck up, stick up his ass kind of guy, as well as extremely religious.

He hates, and I mean hates gays, another reason why I can't come out to my family. I would definitely get disowned and kicked out. He would do that, or probably try to convince me that I wasn't gay and whatnot, act like he can cure me of it, like it was a disease, being gay. I'd probably scoff at him if he said that.

My mom, on the other hand, was the opposite. She was more open minded and would probably accept me. But because she loves my father so much, she would probably side with him, then with me, as much as that pained me.

I finished my food and placed my empty dishes in the sink, said my goodbyes, and left the house, grabbing my keys along the way so that I could drive to school. I glanced up at my house as I got into my car, taking in its simplistic design, white colored paint, and homey appearance that practically screamed 'perfect family,' when in fact it was the exact opposite.

It may seem all fine and dandy on the outside, but on the inside it was anything but that. Being a part of the family, I saw a lot of things I wish I didn't. We weren't as 'perfect' as everyone liked to think, my mother was an emotional wreck half the time, mostly due to my father's insensitive self, and among other things.

My father was also a cynical man that put things bluntly, and if you didn't like what he said, then too bad. But he has a secret himself that he hides away in the depths of his guilty conscious.

He was a cheating bastard.

He didn't know I knew his secret, that he was having an affair with his secretary, which made no sense considering his faith in God now, but I guess it was a pick and choose kind of thing. He agreed with one thing, his hate for gays being one of those things, and followed its example, but when he felt it convenient, he did what he wanted, no matter the absurdity of it.

I knew this because I had caught him one day while I was wandering around and saw him taking her out on a date, acting like a whole other man with her, all smiles and sweet words, the way he had been with my mother long ago.

I had watched as he kissed her and laughed with her, a sense of growing hatred for the man and that woman settling deep inside me, but I never confronted him about it, and I was still keeping it from my mom as well, even though she deserved to know, for fear of how she will react. I was afraid she might shatter because of the news; she wasn't the strongest of women, as much as I would like her to be.

And just look at me, I wasn't all that great as well. I was in the closet, and probably never planning on stepping out, just bury myself deeper until I reach Narnia. I also didn't have the best of tempers, more like a short one, and would go off on anyone if they pissed me off even the littlest of bits.

Though I've been working on that for the past year and have been successful in reigning in my temper most of the time. I don't get mad as often now too, which I pat myself on the back for all the time.

So people may think that were the type of family that never fights, never has problem, they were so wrong, it was just a matter of time before they figured that out, and they might already be on the road to clarity.

I backed out of the driveway and sped off in the direction of the school, turning on the radio to take my mind off my gloomy mood that I was now in, and it helped. I found myself singing along to most of the songs and feeling much better by the time I arrived at school.

I parked in my spot, got out of my car, and looked up at the large building, a sigh escaping me and thought, hopefully today isn't so bad, but had a feeling that it was just wishful thinking on my part.

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Hey everyone, how did you like the chapter? The next chapter won't be out for a while. :(

Anywhore, V/C/F.

Until next time, peace out! :)

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