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Sean and I were admittedly having a lot of fun planning for the wedding. Neither of us worried too much about the details, but we both had ideas to contribute. Despite being in the winter, I wanted to be sure that we were somewhere in the mountains that was very scenic and beautiful, while Sean cared less about the location and more about the logistics of making my dream come true by finding a place suitable for my grandiose imagination as he put it.

As far as the little things like food and flowers went, I really didn't mind. I liked all kinds of flowers, but I knew Sean secretly had a favorite. I'd known since we were kids about that. However, to this day I don't think he knows I know. Sean wanted something easy for food, so I set about trying to decide who I'd have to pay or have cater for us. It was all fairly complicated and after a few days of non stop wedding planning I was feeling slightly exhausted. I was on my laptop constantly when I was at home, looking up places and flower shops and the like. I also didn't have a clue as to where to get tuxes from. All I knew was that I wanted one of us to be in a white tux and the other a black one.

Every night as I laid in bed next to Sean, I would be thinking about our upcoming wedding, and once I finally fell asleep I soon realized I dreamt about it too. Sean knew about the dreams, but he didn't know some of them were nightmarish in nature. I chalked it up to simply having pre-wedding day jitters. I mean, I was beyond excited, but scared for what the future would hold for us. My mother was a major worry of mine since we hadn't spoken at all in months, and I honestly don't know what to do about it. She made no effort towards me and so I didn't show any back. I told Dad and Sean that I didn't care that she might not be there, but inwardly it ate at me I had to admit.

"Jake?" Sean said, waving his fingers in front of me as I sat on the couch with my laptop. I was staring off into space and not even looking at the screen anymore.

'Yeah?" I answered. He shook his head.

"Babe, you need to relax a little bit. Dinner is almost ready," he replied, turning back towards the stove. I sniffed the air.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just want everything to be perfect."

"Jake, it isn't going to be perfect, I can tell you that right now, but the most important thing is it will be our perfect. Okay?" He said as he set some plates on the table before returning to the stove once more. I sighed, standing up. I stretched my back as I was feeling a little stiff. Apparently I had been sitting in the same spot for a couple hours now. I set down the laptop on the coffee table and joined Sean in the kitchen. I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind and rested my head against his back, closing my eyes. I felt his hands rest on mine.

"It smells good," I said quietly. "What did you make?" Sean wasn't the best cook, but he could make a few things. I loved the fact that he wanted to help out with dinner sometimes. He could definitely tell I was stressing myself out a little with all of the details.

"It's homeade macaroni and cheese," he said. He swiveled around to face me, cupping my cheeks and locking me in his gaze. He rubbed my shoulders. "We'll get everything figured out okay? Don't stress." I brought my lips to his, giving him a light peck.

"I know. There's just so much to do," I replied, rubbing my temples. He kissed my nose and chuckled a little.

"You always were obsessed with details, like that time in 5th grade when we had to do that science project together. You remember?" He asked. I laughed fondly at the memory.

"Yeah, we were both supposed to work on it together, but you didn't get the stuff we needed and I was going out of town so I was freaking out thinking we weren't going to finish it in time," I said, brushing my fingers through his soft hair. My hand traveled down his face and along his jaw. It'd been a couple days since he shaved, and the stubble on his chin was incredibly hot. He smirked.

"And we ended up finishing it just fine didn't we?" He said. I nodded.

"Sean you know I just can't help it. I'm organized and like to get things done. I hate not knowing what to do," I said, continuing to stroke his chin gently. He rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Yeah I know Jake. I know." He pulled me into a hug.

"You should let this grow out a little," I said, pulling away and motioning towards his chin. His fingers scratched at it.

"You think so?" He asked.

"It turns me on," I said matter-of-factly before grabbing the pasta off the stove and dishing it out onto plates. His face went red and he tried to hide it. Cute. We went over to the table with our plates and sat opposite each other.

"So who are you wanting to invite to the ceremony?" He asked in between spoonfuls of mac and cheese. I had to admit, it was delicious.

"Um..besides my dad, I don't know. I guess Kim and her parents. They've been friends for years, despite earlier," I replied before scooping up more noodles. He nodded in agreement.

"Yeah my mom is definitely going to be there, I don't know about my dad," he shrugged. "I think I'd want some of my friends from work there though. Brandon, Cole and maybe Tori. They've been basically like the siblings I never had." I nodded.

"Yeah, I always liked knowing they were good to you. You hung out with those guys a lot after high school when we kind of lost touch for a little bit," I said.

"I'm glad we didn't stay apart. I'd be lost without you," he said, reaching across the table and taking my hand in his. "I suppose we have your brother to thank for that."

"What?" I asked confused. I tilted my head to the side. Sean cleared his throat.

"Collin asked me over that day, you know how we hadn't seen each other for a while? You gave me the weirdest look at first," he explained, causing the heat to build in my cheeks. "Why are you blushing?"

"Um, that was when I first...realized..well I...uh...I thought you were hot," I stammered. A grin spread across his face.

"Yout got a boner didn't you?" He teased, his expression was playful. I rolled my eyes and looked down at my plate. 

"Oh shut up," I said as he began laughing. 

"It all makes sense now!" He said, clutching his chest. He was basically wheezing. I shook my head and returned to my food. When he finally calmed down, he regarded me again. "You know when I first realized?" I locked my eyes on him.

"When?" I almost whispered. His lips twitched slightly.

"That night in your bed when we were in our underwear. We had done that so many times, but that was the first time I really noticed you," he explained.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I saw you," he replied. "I realized how incredibly attracted to you I was."

"I think Collin knew before either of us did," I said, blushing slightly.

"How so?" Sean asked, his chocolate brown eyes were shining again.

"He invited you over, he had been teasing me about not having a girlfriend, he wasn't surprised when I told him I didn't feel anything kissing Kim, and when I think back on that last day.....he was acting weird. He told me things....he implied things. At the time I didn't understand, but now I know. He knew. I just didn't get the chance to tell him myself," I said, sighing and relaxing back into my chair. "I wish he could be there."

"I know you do Jake. I would do anything to make that happen if I could. You know what though?" He said, standing and crossing over to my side of the table. "He will be there," he said quietly, kneeling beside me. He grabbed both my hands and kissed each one. I leaned down and we kissed. Oh how I loved this man. He made everything feel better no matter what. I rested my hand on his cheek.

"I love you," I said. He kissed me again in response. When we pulled apart, I looked into his eyes. My hazel connecting with his brown ones. "There's just one thing I have to do before we get married."

"What's that?" He asked. I looked down sadly.

"I have to talk to my mom," I replied. "I'm gonna call my dad and see if I can find a way to talk to her. She won't see me willingly. I'll need his help."

"Do you want me to come?" He asked gently. I shook my head.

"If I can get my dad to set it up, I can do it myself. I just need to see if she's thought anything over...maybe lightened up a little?" I shrugged and he nodded. "I'm gonna call him and at least see what he thinks." I got up from the table and pulled out my phone. Sean busied himself with the dishes as I dialed his number.

* * * * Two Days Later * * * * 

I sat in the car nervously gripping the steering wheel. Dad had agreed that it would be good to talk and so he helped me. He told me when a good time to come over would be, and he made sure he would be there in case he was needed. Seeing as my parents were separated, he came up with a reason to visit my mom without telling her I was coming. I rubbed the back of my neck with both hands. Sighing loudly, I threw open the door and shut it behind me before making my way up the driveway to my old house. I was feeling slightly sick to my stomach, as my most recent memories here were not good ones.

Dad had told me on the phone to just open the door when I arrived, so instead of ringing the doorbell I did just that. I made my way through the front door and into the living room. Neither of them were there so I wandered down the hall to the kitchen. Upon entering I realized they weren't there either, and my stomach increasingly felt like it was in knots. What would I say? What would she say? What would she do when she saw me? I wrung my hands nervously before I heard her voice. It was muffled slightly and sounded distant. I walked over to the window and saw both of them outside in the backyard. I silently made my way over to the back door and pulled it open, stepping out onto the patio.

It seemed like I stayed rooted to that spot for a long time, just looking at the two of them. My dad was talking to my mom, his forehead creasing a little, but I couldn't really tell what they were saying, not that I cared all that much anyway. I was frozen at the sight of my mother. She looked as I remembered her but yet slightly different. She looked older somehow, but I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was. He hair was up in a tight bun and she was sitting in a patio chair facing away from me. Dad was sitting next to her, but his chair was facing a slightly different direction. He caught sight of me out of the corner of his eye and turned slightly, but his expression was unreadable.

I shuffled my feet nervously towards the two of them. Dad stopped and turned completely in my direction now, his eyes piercing into me. My mom followed his gaze, turning around in her chair to look in the same direction.

"Hey mom," I said, giving a small wave. She said nothing at first, she just stared at me blankly. Then after what seemed like an eternity, she swiveled back around and rested in her chair comfortably. Dad bit his lip nervously. I looked at him reassuringly. His expression seemed to ask if I still wanted to do this or not, and so I simply nodded. He sighed and stood up.

"Talk to your son," he said to her. He put his hand on my shoulder and regarded me sadly before walking past me and into the house. I was sure he would be watching our interaction from a window. I took the opportunity to slip into the chair dad was previously sitting in, careful to avoid looking at her.

"So I'm getting married," I said quietly, staring out into the yard. There were leaves all over the dead lawn and the air was chilly. My mother didn't respond. "I guess I just wanted to see where we stood." I shrugged slightly. It was as if I was talking to myself.

"What do you want me to say?" She said suddenly, the sound of her voice filling my ears, momentarily rendering me speechless. It had been so long since I had heard it. It had an edge to it, but it was softer than the last time we spoke when she was basically doing nothing but yelling. I turned to look at her, but she was still staring straight ahead as well. 

"I want to know...." I trailed off, struggling to find the right words. 

"If I still love you?" She finished for me. I gaped at her. She looked at me then, her eyes flashed fiercely. "Jake you can't marry another man." I put my head in my hands, trying to hide my frustration.

"I don't need you to tell me what I can and can't do. I'm grown up and living on my own. If you want to be a part of my life, then you can decide what you want to do. Either you support me and my choices or you don't. Plain and simple," I said with finality, my voice calm.

"Jake come on! I'm your mother!"

"So? You haven't been a mother to me for months now. Besides, you can't control my life. I'm my own person. All you have to decide is if you love me enough to accept me as I am," I replied, getting up out of the chair. "I'm getting married in a month mom. You have to decide what you want." I walked back over to the back door and into the house.

"Everything okay?" Dad asked nervously from the kitchen.

"Yeah," I said calmly. "I just told her she has to decide." I kept walking until I reached the front door. I pulled it open and closed it behind me. Relief washed over me and I felt like my part was finished. The ball was in her court now. Whatever she chose to do with it was her choice to make, not mine. I got in the car and started the engine and raced home. There were still plenty of preparations to be made and there wasn't much time!

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