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Hey guys, sorry for the long wait, just started school so i didn't really have the time and i was just lazy, but i'm done now, so this was going to be all one chapter this chapter and the next one which will be posted straight after this one, but i thought that i should split it, because it was quite long haha.

So hope you like it, this chapter shows a different side to Xavier and Aiden's feelings

Paradise xx

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Chapter 4

Missing You

The friends thing is not working out as well as I thought it would. Basically anything he does, I can't stop thinking about and it's having an effect on me. 

I can't do anything about it, because we're friends and I know it's better than nothing. I actually can't believe he said yes to being my friend, after what happened...but he did...which was a surprise.

I kind of have a big crush on him. About time I admit that to myself. I have to stop denying the obvious feelings I have for him.

It's been a week since new year's and he is still constantly on my mind. I can't think about anything else, he's been invading my every thought.

I'm falling for him, hard and I want to be with him so bad, it's such an intense feeling to have. If only he felt the same way about me and he was the one with the secret crush. Who am I kidding? That would never happen, he will never like me as more than a friend. Well, now I'm just depressing myself.

Even though I promised myself that I wouldn't fall for him, I can't help it, I already am. Maybe promises are meant to be broken...well maybe just this time. I just hope no one gets hurt.

Just this morning, Sienna invited him over, after I subtly begged her to. It's not as bad as you think....well maybe it is.

I all but went on my knees, until she finally decided. I kept pestering her about the fact that she has no social life and the like, trying to get her to invite Xavier. When she went to invite someone else, I made her change her mind, convincing her otherwise.

I think I was being a little obvious, but I don't know. Finally she decided, after two hours of discussion. I know I could probably do it myself, but I was nervous, scared he wasn't serious about being friends. He came over not long after, Sienna called him. I was really fidgety; I hadn't seen him since the day we went out together, not in that way, I wish.

I was really nervous, I dressed casually but I looked good, going along with the opinion Amelia gave me. I did forgive her, a few days ago, after I calmed down about the fact that Xavier kissed her and not me. It wasn't her fault after all and I couldn't stay mad at her for long. Since we are best friends and even though we fight, we would always get back together.

Friendship is really important to me, so when I lose a friend, I become miserable. I like to keep the friends I have, they all hold a piece of my heart and form a big part of my life. Without them I wouldn't be the way I am, I need them.

I was at the front door, ready to open the door for him when he arrived. I sound hopelessly desperate, but the emotions that has built up over the week have become uncontrollable.

Hearing him pull up, I put my hand on the handle getting ready to open it. I heard the engine stop and his footsteps climbing up the stairs. Before he could ring the doorbell, I swung the door open, startling him. I smiled sheepishly while he looked at me with slightly widened eyes.

"Hey Aiden, haven't seen you in a while"

"Hi X-Xavier, I missed you..." I immediately gasped rather loudly at the comment and I turned red in embarrassment. I guess his comment kind of threw off my thinking, I really didn't mean to say that. I looked at him cautiously, he was smirking.

"I missed you too, baby" he teased, giving me a quick hug. I warmed up to him, wrapping my arms around him, enjoying the hug while it lasted. I quickly stepped back, didn't want to give him the wrong idea. I still had a slight blush on my face, stepping aside I let him in. I watched him climb the stairs, eyeing his ass and toned body. I smiled secretly, I think I could last a bit longer without being with him.

He called me baby...I smiled thinking about it, though it was just a casual thing for him. I went into the kitchen to get something to eat, I stood against the counter. Daydreaming, looking outside the window at our beautiful backyard, imagining us, out there, together. I sighed, what a stupid dream, I'm just getting my hopes up.

I felt arms wrap around me, I flinched, immediately guessing who it was, "Get off me Sienna!" I turned around still with the offender's arms around me and my mouth dropped open in shock.

"I'm not Sienna" he grinned tightening his grip around me. I sucked in my breath, his body was having an effect on me, a not so good one. "I wanted to give you another hug" he smiled, he was so cute.

"Thanks that's nice of you, um want something to eat?" I gestured the counter, as I had laid out some food. He grinned "Can I eat you?" he winked while I just turned a darker shade of red. How many times was I going to blush today, seriously! I turned away from him, his teasing , the flirting was not helping my crush on him, it was just making it bigger and all the more powerful.

"Maybe later" I replied nonchalantly trying to pretend like I didn't really care. I still had my eyes downcast, as I held onto the counter for support. His words were cute and they felt so good to my ears, I just wanted more. I was craving it.

All of a sudden he appeared in front of me, having squeezed under my arms and now we were in an awkward position. He appeared unaffected and seemed quite hyper. He had a huge grin on his face, he has changed his mood around me, he is a lot more comfortable around me I suppose. In comparison to our day at the beach, which was quite awkward, I guess this is his true personality and I love it.

Our close proximity was short lived, as I stepped away from him, I didn't want to do something both of us will later regret. I smiled at him and gestured to the food again before exiting the room.

Why does he have to be like this...

Everything about him was perfect to me, he is frustrating me, if only he was mine...

I should keep my distance but I just feel the need to gravitate towards him.

I don't know what to do, I really need to talk to someone about this, namely my best friends, but I don't know how they would react to my coming out to them, would they even accept me.

I keep thinking about these things, but I just can't make up my mine, I'm so indecisive, I keep changing my plans.

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It was getting late, the sun was going down and I had wasted another day of my holidays, not long now until school starts up again. I'm so lazy and I can't be bothered getting up to shower.

"Xavier is staying over!" Sienna shouted from the hallway, I smiled, mission complete. Not really, I just wanted to spend more time with him. Not that I have been for the past few hours, he was with Sienna. I've been daydreaming about him, this is already a routine, half my day revolves around him.

I rolled off the bed onto the floor, I needed to take a shower, I gathered the necessities then walked across the hall towards the bathroom. I opened the door and froze, in the mirror I could see Xavier right behind me. He was half naked in the midst of pulling his pants on. We both turned bright red, I attempted to cast my eyes elsewhere, but they would not budge.

I couldn't help but take in his tanned toned legs, 6 pack abs, wet dishelved hair, him being in just his underwear just completed the perfect look. He looked like a model, an underwear model. I had to keep down a grin from the sight I was seeing, it was too hot. What did I do to deserve this amazing sight! I still couldn't draw my eyes away, both of us had still not spoken a word.

Finally casting my eyes downwards, I scurried from the bathroom apologising to him. He still was in the same position as before, frozen. I felt pretty embarrassed, Hopefully nothing changes and the checking out of his body wasn't too obvious...

After my shower, I walked slowly back to my room, have I ruined any chance I had with him? I could hear some quiet whispering coming from Sienna's door, what are they talking about I wonder? Me?

I laid on my bed, where is he going to sleep tonight? With Sienna which is likely...or in the guest room or with me.... It's pretty unlikely he'll want to be anywhere near me after what just happened... so awkward.

I don't know what my parents will think, but they haven't been around lately, they run this company together and they have this big project they are working on. So they haven't been in the house much but Sienna and I have been going ok. We have money and friends to keep us company, so it's not so bad. Just another week or two until their deadline will be met and they can come back. I miss them...a bit.

I can't wait for them to come back.

Time is ticking, it won't be long until they are back, I can wait a bit more.

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Next Chapter will be posted in just a few minutes, hope you guys liked it, i have noticed the increasing reads on this story and that is amazing :) please vote and comment to tell me if u like it, i will write 5x as fast if you do haha

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