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(Kellin's POV)

I panted until I caught my breath, then swung my knees over the bed and pulled my boxers on. "You're leaving?" Jenna asks, pulling the sheets over her chest. I shrug and hop into dark skinny jeans and button my black shirt and slide my sweater on quickly, giving her thigh a quick pat. "Sorry, but there isn't really a reason to stay." I mutter, pocketing my phone and opening her bedroom door. She knew I was right.

"Okay." She said, then let me go. I knew it was wrong to have sex with her when I wasn't even into her. Hell, it wasn't even that good, but I think it was just me. But I had to do something with the anxiety I was feeling, and I figured why not. I needed to get laid anyway and I didn't want to with Kelly. She'd get all attached and think I wanted to marry her or something. I really do need to get rid of her. Then something crossed my mind; does this mean I'm gay or something?

Kissing girls never did anything for me and not even sex. Yeah, it was sex, but nothing special. I knew my parents would be devastated, disgusted even, and I'd have some trouble accepting it at first, but I didn't think it would be too bad. Who cares? It just means I like people with the same parts as me. I bit my lip and called Jaime for a ride. I was not about to walk three miles when he lives right around the corner.

"Sup, Quinn?" He says when he answers. I shuffle my feet and lean on the curb, bouncing on my heels childishly. "Hey, dude. I'm right by Jenna's house, can you come get me? I don't wanna walk home." I explain quickly. I hoped he wouldn't ask questions. As a shyer person, I wasn't much for starting drama and this would surely get a rumor going.

"Sure, be right there." He replies. I raise my eyebrows, satisfied with his lack of curiosity. As I wait, I put my headphones in and jam to some Pantera as I wait for the Hispanic boy. I nod along and shut my eyes monetarily, trying to clear my mind. Clearly sex wasn't enough, though I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't going to drink or smoke, so what was there to help me? I wanted to think: Vic, he always helps when I'm down. I shake my head and refuse to think about it anymore.

Jaime arrives and I pull one headphone out, opening the door to his Toyota. I buckle my seat belt and send him a grateful smile. "Thanks, dude. I really didn't want to walk that much." I say, adjusting in the seat. He grins at me and shakes his head. I furrow my eyebrows in a puzzled manner; he was up to something. "What?" I ask.

"What we're doing at Jenna's house?" He asks. I sigh and look out the window, not surprised at all. I couldn't blame him but it was still a little annoying for him to ask. "Nothing. Literally just gossiping and shit about Kelly. She's actually really funny." I laugh a little for emphasis. He nods, seeming to believe my fib. "Doesn't Kelly hate her?" He chuckles. I grin and laugh shortly, "That's why I did it, Hime."

The rest of the ride is quiet and I thank him when he pulls into my driveway. "Thanks again, man, I really appreciate it." He agrees and we wave, small smile on my lips. I enter the house quickly and head to my room immediately. When I settle on my bed, I know it's a mistake. I'm alone, totally alone. I didn't talk to a lot of people from school and Vic and I weren't speaking at the moment due to his comment the other night. Even though I didn't want to admit it, four days seemed like a long time without him.

_____

(Vic's POV)

Confusion fumed in my head, clouding all my thoughts. I furrow my eyebrows and open my eyes, feeling lost and light headed. Despite my physical discomfort, I get off of my bed, stumbling a little, but make it to my window. After removing my phone from the charger by the window sill, I check to see that no new messages are in my phone. Well, not from people I want to hear from.

Tony and an online friend have messaged me but the thought doesn't interest me. I wanted one to be from Kellin, saying he wanted to meet under the tree. It had been four days, was he really that mad? I know what I said could've hurt his feelings but this bad? Then I feel bad, a sullen feeling washing over my insides. Maybe I could text him.

Hey, I really am sorry, Kellin...I didn't meant to hurt your feelings or anything :(

I bite my lip as I wait for a reply. It doesn't come, he doesn't bother to reply to me, though it shows he's read the message. Shaking my head, I sigh and drop my phone, giving up. There was no use in wasting my time, might as well do something useful. I slide on black shorts and a long sleeve white shirt and walk to Mom's room, half expecting my dad. But he was gone, thankfully. It irked my nerves that he would do that, after all this time.

"Hello, son." Mama says, sounding a little better, but not okay. "Hey, Mama. How are you feeling?" I ask timidly, getting to my knees beside her bed. She nods a little and tells me she wants to lay on her side, so I help her get that way. We talk for a long time, laughing occasionally and talking about the world around us. She was so smart, so informed, despite her conditions. "Alright, I'll let you go. I know you don't want to spend your day in here." She laughs lightly, then coughs.

I shake my head, "It's alright, Mama. All I have is a couple worksheets. I don't mind." I would go under the tree and relax but I know if I do that, I'll just miss Kellin more than I do now. God,why was I so attached? Maybe it was the fact that he was my only real friend. Maybe it was the way one smile of his could drown out the rest of my day and make it wonderful. Maybe I shouldn't feel like that; maybe I should be pissed at him for being so sensitive, but I just can't. I've tried not to be such a wimp, to forget about him. But I cannot forget him. He's all I've been thinking about, those big eyes and silky hair, the softness of his hand and brightness of his smile.

It was insane how much he's affected me in so little time. This isn't healthy, I think while I head to the office after Mom insisted. I need to get a grip.

_____

As my eyes began to get heavy, there's a buzzing on my window. I rub my face and sigh, getting up reluctantly. My teeth sink into my lower lip when I see its a text from none other than Kellin Quinn. I don't want to see you right now but I'll let you know I'm sorry too.x He didn't want to see me? My frown deepens and I sigh, thinking up a reply. Even just the little x at the end made my heart swell with something I didn't know how to describe.

Why don't you?

My mind races as I wait for the screen to light up again. When I does, I scan over his message as soon as possible. I know I sound like a dick, but it kinda upset me, what you said...sorry. Chewing my lip, my fingers hover for a while before a reply comes to mind. Don't be, I know it was my fault. I was just stressed about Mom and Mike and stuff, and I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.x I get risky and add on the x after a while, hoping he wouldn't comment on it, but also hoping he'd smile because of it.

Minutes ticked by. Six minutes. Then ten. I became anxious and afraid that he'd leave me hanging. My screen told me he'd read my reply but hadn't sent one of his own. Soon, I had put the phone down and went back to my bed, growing tired. I dangled off the bed upside down, glaring out of the glowing window for a while. The tree in my yard had a new image to me, sacred and sad. Before, it brought a big smile to my face, thinking of all the secret conversations me and Kellin had under that tree.

But now, as the long branches glowed in the moonlight, it screamed unwelcoming. It actually made me feel bad to glance at it. I felt guilty every time; I had hurt my only friend's feelings. Who does that? Just as I start to ponder discouraging thoughts about myself, my phone buzzes. 12:48; hmm...okay...meet me under the tree at four, tomorrow after I get home from school. We can talk then, I suppose.x goodnight, vic.

I smiled widely and bit my lip, closing the message without replying. Kellin needed space right now and I was willing to give it to him, as long as it didn't last longer than four o'clock tomorrow afternoon. He was so addictive to me and didn't know why. I was so attached to him, and it bothered me in a way. But then again, I loved the feeling it gave me to be around him. I grin to myself and get back in bed, closing my eyes with a wide smile. Four o'clock, so close and so far away.

_____

so this is a filler.

next chapter is...eventful 😱

no, not like that;) that's later on, of course

stay faggy 😘

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