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(Vic's POV)

I sat in my room patiently all day. All fucking day. Despite the few times I ran out to help Mama, my ass never left my room. I didn't even do school work, I was too anxious. It occurred to me that this was just Kellin. We'd met plenty of times before under that tree and this one shouldn't be any different.

But it was different. I was afraid this time. Afraid he was mad at me, afraid Mama knew about him, afraid that it would make us argue more. I was basically scared to even look out of my window, in his direction. It also occurred to me that I cared for his approval way too much.

When four o'clock rolled around, I got dressed in black chinos and a snug fitting grey tee shirt and Vans slip ons. I peeked out of my window to see Kellin's bus pulling up, biting my lip. When he got off, something clicked and I chewed on my lip harder, eyeing the gentle sway of his narrow hips. I waited by the window for his signal. A few minutes pass and I get impatient for an unknown reason.

First I didn't want to go, now I was rushing him. I shake my head and go to brush my teeth to pass time and to keep my hands busy. After that, I slid a beanie on and a heap of bracelets, glancing out the window every so often. Nothing. No Kellin. Gulping, I sit on my bed and tap my foot, feeling stupid. Of course he didn't want to see me, I upset him. He thinks I'm embarrassed of him but it's the opposite, he doesn't understand. But I'm the reason he doesn't, I'm horrible with words. Oh God he hates me now, I just know it.

I lay back on my bed and sigh, twiddling my thumbs around for another ten minutes, then peak out the window. I even check my other widow to check the tree, seeing if he was there. He wasn't; he apparently was still in his house. I check my phone and see that it's 4:29, and still no sign of him. He isn't coming then. I frown deeply and chew my lip, looking at the ground. He really doesn't want to see me. I slowly kick my slip ons off, they bump against the wall, creating a thump, and throw my clothes on my floor, snatching off my beanie. I shut my curtains and cut off all my lights, then went to my drawer. I'll just do one.

I sit on the edge of bed and bite my lip, sighing loudly. Is it worth it? For the second time this week, I push the thoughts away as I lower the hem of my boxers and lower the blade to my hips. Why did I have to say that? I'm such a bad person. Maybe I need to leave him alone. Would he be better off? I did another. I watch the cuts fill with the red liquid and then look away, feeling ashamed. But despite the feeling, I do another. I let out a shaky breath and drop the blade to the floor, grimacing at the sound of it hitting the carpet. I cover my three new mistakes and rush to the bathroom, biting my lips still.

After I've cleaned them and covered them with small bandages, I cover them with the waist of my boxers, then place my hands on the counter. Why did I turn to this? Oh God, this is disgusting, what am I doing? I chew the inside of my cheek, denying the fact that I felt actual relief. "I'm in deep shit." I mutter, knowing this wasn't the last time this would happen.

_____

(Kellin's POV)

Jenna bites my lower lip and I groan, bucking my hips up again, causing her to do the same. She hits her high and rolls off of me, then I turn to look at her, panting for breath. "Jesus Christ," she says breathily. "I didn't know you were that good, Kellin. Kelly's got it made." We laugh and I prop my head up with my palm.

"No, she doesn't." I shrug a little. She makes a face and I chuckle a little. "What do you mean? Haven't shagged her yet?" She winks. I put my hand on her waist and shake my head, trailing my thumb over the soft skin. It still didn't make my whole being tingle like Vic's did. "No, no, I haven't. I'm not going to." I say, biting my lip. Jenna laughs and flops back on the pillow, mumbling something about Kelly's stupidity.

Silence fills my room and I lay back down, dropping my hand and drumming my fingers on her knee. Jenna really was beautiful, and if I wasn't more attracted to guys, I'd ask her out right here and now. Her wavy blonde hair was now dyed bright green that clashed with her bright eyes. Her nose ring glimmered in the sun through the curtain and her skin looked amazing in this light. She was the definition of lovely. Too bad I liked Vic-- well, guys more.

"Break up with her." Jenna says from nowhere. I furrow my eyebrows and refocus on her face. "Huh?" I reply. "Break up with Kelly. I'm not saying I want you to break up with her for me, I just mean, you know you don't like her. Why drag it out?" She shrugs, pursing her lips. I tilt my head and sigh, trying to form my thoughts into words. Jenna was right and I knew that, and so did she. "I know, I'm trying. Just haven't found the right time."

Jenna smirks and puts her hand on my chest, trailing her nails around. "Does it matter?" We laugh again and I shrug. "Oh my God," she snickers, sitting up and pulling the covers around her chest. Her thigh rested against my chest, my head laying on her side. It was strange how comfortable I felt around her when we'd only messed around twice, and hadn't had even a handful of proper conversations. Maybe that's why Kelly was jealous, Jenna was so much more likable than her.

"What?" I ask when she hands me my phone. "Do it now." She grins. I raise my eyebrows in a questioning gaze and she laughs louder. "Break up with her." Jenna says again. I bite my lip and sit up, putting the passcode in and pulling up message. Jenna shakes her head and tells me to call. Maybe she was right, better do it the nice way. "Fine." I mutter, rolling my eyes.

I dial Kelly's number and put the phone up to my ear, shaking my head the hole time. Jenna laughs quietly beside me and I hit her shoulder lightly. "Kellin?" Kelly's says when she answers. "That's my name." I say in return. "You're calling me?" She asks in disbelief. I couldn't help but feel relief coming over me already. I knew I should've done this sooner, I think. If Jenna wasn't here, I probably would've put it off this longer. "Yeah, um, I actually wanted to talk to you."

"Okay. Go ahead, baby." I internally scoff and look at Jenna, locking eyes with her amusingly. Jenna was biting her lips, trying not to laugh. "I think we should break up, Kelly. I'm going to be honest with you right now." I try to be as formal as possible, hoping Jenna would get the hint and stop giggling. "What? You're not...serious." She says, sounding weaker towards the end. "I'm, uh, I really am sorry." Then she cries. She fucking cries in my ear.

And I'm a sympathetic person, I love to help and hold people when they're down, but something about her got under my skin, even in this situation. "I'm sorry." I say again, pressing the red button. Jenna lets out a loud laugh and runs her fingers through her hair. "I can't believe you did that!" She grins. "Me either!" I shrug my shoulders. She lays her lips on mine and I lay down, pulling her on top of me, running my hands up and down her back.

"You're a great actor," she kisses my shoulder and grinds her hips down on me, causing me to suck in a sharp intake of breath. "I'm proud." I kiss her again and tug on her hair, but just when things got heated again, my phone started ringing again. I sigh through my nose and pull away, grabbing the phone and answer without looking. "Look, Kelly, I'm sorry now leave-"

"I'm, um, I'm not Kelly." I hear that voice. That voice that makes my stomach flitter and heart twist in all the right ways. My legs go weak but not because of the girl on top of me. I chew my lip and glance at Jenna, then sigh. "Kellin?" I hear. I snap out of my thoughts and sit up a little more, propping up on my elbow. "I'm here, I'm here." I say quietly.

There's a pause, but he continues a few seconds later. "I called to apologize. I know you hate the phone and I'm really sorry, I hope you don't hate me now, but--"

"I couldn't hate you, Vic." I look down at the mattress with a red face. I felt like a girl for saying that but I didn't care enough to take it back. "You don't?" He asks. He's too cute, I swear. "Nope." I say with a small smile. "Why didn't you come today then?" Jenna whispers something and I flip her off. Stupid sex jokes. I roll my eyes and turn my attention back to the adorable boy over the phone. Why couldn't I forget him?

"I had an unexpected guest come over," I poke Jenna's belly and laugh a little at her gasp. "I wanted to though. Want to come over later then?" No, no, no. You'll forgive him as soon as you see him, bad idea.You're too attached. "Um, okay. If you want me to, um--"

I laugh and cut him off. "I do. I need to go and help my guest leave, goodbye." I hang up quickly and grin up at Jenna, putting my phone down. She puts her hands on my chest and I lay back, biting my lip a little. She was so confident it made me nervous just being with her. But in a way, it was okay, I liked it. "One more go before I have to leave?" She asked with a small smile. I laugh and grip her hips, squeezing gently. "Thought you wouldn't ask, Jen."

_____

My recent confidence was down the drain as I choose my clothes. Black ripped jeans and an oversized black sweater with a grey cross on it. I'd showered obviously, my hair was tucked under a grey beanie. My teeth were brushed and my nerves were through the roof, I was pacing around my window as I waited for Vic. He needed to hurry so he could get here and leave before Mom arrived.

I see his petite frame nearing my house and I hum, chewing my nails more frantically. "Fuck." I mutter anxiously. He looked so damn cute in the moonlight. Black chinos that make his backside look fucking mint and a snug grey tee that shows off his thin frame. He looked perfect, like he usually did. I smile slightly and pause to watch him, then sigh and turn away when I hear he door shut downstairs.

"I'm here," he says from the stairs. I tell him I'm in my room and turn to face the door, and smile a little when I see him enter. He's hesitant; he pauses by the doorframe and bites his lip. I open my arms weakly and he smiles with pink cheeks, then comes to me and wraps his arms around my middle. All the air leaves my body, my eyes flutter and my knees all but wobble in his touch. His arms are chilled from the night air and I had no problems warming them.

I wrap my arms tighter around his little frame and take in his distant scent. "I'm sorry." He says quietly into my sweater. I stroke his hair and sigh, placing my chin atop his head. It's official, I've given in. I need him right now. "Don't be, I overreacted." I smile a little, glad to have him back. "Let's not argue again, yeah?" He asks, breath fanning onto my neck when he lifts his head. I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him. But instead, I just look down at him as he looks up at me with enflamed cheeks and a small smile.

I still want to kiss him. "Never." I say quietly, but my voice still cracks. I really want to kiss him. He lays his head on my shoulder and I smile again, rubbing his back. "Want to go to the tree? My mom will be home soon." I say into his silky hair. We agree and I release him, feeling colder without his body heat. Damn it, I've missed this boy.

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