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(Vic's POV)

I typed harshly on the keyboard, pissed with the work I was doing. I wasn't in the mood to do schoolwork today but I only had a few more lessons, so I let it slide. After about ten minutes longer, I take a short break, leaning back in the creaky office chair.

Subconsciously, I look at my phone and sigh when no new messages are seen. I wasn't really looking for anything, I guess it was just habit. I shake away the thoughts and stand, heading down to the kitchen for some lunch. Dad was in the living room, positioned in his chair, eyes trained on the floor.

"Good afternoon, son."

I glance at him, and with a sigh, reply to his statement. "Hi, Dad." I trail to the kitchen and open the fridge, bouncing on my heels as I look for food. Mom's protein shakes were still in the fridge and looking at them make my heart ache inside my chest. After grabbing the mayo and turkey, I slam the fridge shut and start making my sandwich, head feeling dizzy for a second.

"Are you going to make Mike one?" He asks.

I tilt my head, "Why would I do that?" I finish preparing the quick lunch and put the ingredients back in the cold fridge. Again, I look away from the Mom's drinks. They were all she was able to hold down when times got really bad, so we always kept them in the house. I wished someone would get rid of them now. I'd probably have to do it.

Dad doesn't answer, he lets me go back to the office without making me any more uncomfortable. Sad, huh? That just speaking to one another is as awkward as it is. We're family, father and son, and that isn't how it's supposed to go. I felt bad to for him in a way.

I sit at the desk and type away after I finish the quick sandwich, begging my mind to stay occupied. But of course, halfway through my English assignment, my thoughts wander to the place I was hoping it wouldn't, but then again I knew it would sometime today.

If Jenna and Kellin go to school together, who's to say this hasn't been going on for a long time?

What if they're making out or something right now?

Course they are, I think solemnly and somewhat angrily. I sigh and rake my hand through my hair, reluctantly going back to work. I knew I'd get over him. Maybe not all at once, but I knew I would, I had to. I knew from the start that this wouldn't last. Well, not that we were together, he'd made that perfectly clear at the café, but nonetheless, my mind hadn't fooled me.

Things never last. They always leave.

_____

(Kellin's POV)

Vic.

Vic.

Vic.

Jaime slaps his hand on my desk and I flinch, sitting up straighter. "Dude, are you going to do the prompt or not?" He asks, pointing to the board. I follow his finger and sure enough, Write a poem about something that makes you angry, was scrawled on the board.

I sigh and turn to him, shrugging. I didn't want to write. Which was strange, seeing as this was one of my favorite classes, but I just wasn't feeling it today.

Vic.

Vic.

Vic.

What's he doing? Is he okay? I wonder if he's still doing work, despite all that's happened. Knowing him, he was typing right now. He wasn't one to give up. He was a hard worker and knew what he wanted. Why didn't I?

Jaime waves a hand in front of me. "What's going on, man? You're so out of it." He says with a half-assed chuckle, not sure whether to make a joke or stay serious. I shrug again and swivel so I'm facing the front and grab a pen from my back pocket. "Hey, got another pen I could use?"

"Sure." So I toss the hyper boy a pen and then face the board, swallowing hard. I start writing, jotting down something random.

Why was I so stupid,

Why did I give up so easy?

I roll my eyes and sigh, tapping the paper. Fuck it, I'll just write anything. Not like these count.

I betrayed him,

Now he refuses to see me.

Terrible, I shake my head amusingly. I laugh a little and shut my notebook, then start picking at my nails.

Vic. Vic. Vic. Jesus, I've ruined this all. Everything was so perfect, he was perfect, we were perfect. Yeah, it was a little stressful at times, given our situation, but I wouldn't have changed a thing. Well, I'd change that I had ever met Jenna but other than that, things were fucking great.

I wasn't even really into her. I don't know why I let her mess up the most important thing to me. Vic was all I really thought about these last two weeks. Nothing from him; no texts, no calls, he didn't even glance from his window. Which, I did.

Constantly, I'd peak out to see if he'd gone outside or if he was sitting under the tree, and he never was. The only people outside were people driving up to visit the mourning family and people who did yard work for them. It was starting to get to me, the distance. And I thought he was distant before. I felt fucking weird for feeling like this; so attached to him, so concerned for him. The fact that I still had a sliver of hope surprised me. But I did. For some reason, I still wanted him.

I still wanted him to call me and ask for advice and I still wanted to hold him and kiss his head, like I used to. I wanted to be the one to tell him it would be okay and I missed how his hand felt in mine and I was dying to feel his lips against my own again. Everything was so painful, even thinking about his eyes. The way they always held a sadness that made his features that much more unforgettable.

The little things were what got me the most, the ones that really fucked me up. I hardly heard the bell ring above me. "Kellin, stop fucking thinking already! You look like you're going to cry," Jaime joked, nudging my shoulder when he stood. I flinched again and packed my things, then stood next to him. I am, I thought. He just doesn't get it.

"Oh, sorry." I say.

As we walk down the hall towards the bus lot, I pull my phone out. New message from Jenna; are you busy? New message from Mike; you guys are fighting aren't you? I raise a brow and skim through the others. New message from Alan; want to come over later?

To: Jenna

I don't want to talk to you, Jenna...like, ever again. I know it's my fault too, but I fucked up and me and you were wrong. No more random fucking.

To: Mike

I wouldn't say so, it's one sided. It isn't Vic's fault at all. Tell him I'm sorry?

To: Alan

Maybe dude

I shove my phone away, disappointed. Jesus, I want to talk to Vic. Jaime and I chat about tonight's soccer game, which I'm not attending, at the school. Even though he wants me to go, I tell him I'm busy with my parents. Which isn't even a complete lie. Mom was still pissy with me over Vic staying at the house, which won't leave my memory, and it was really making me fucking mad. I found myself glaring in her direction even though she hadn't spoken to me, or even looked at me.

Jaime and I side hugged and I climbed onto the bus. Jaime had really grown on me since that day he dropped me off at home. At first, I kind of disliked him because he seemed nosy, but now that I look back, I knew he was only wondering, not meaning any harm. He was a softie, which amused me greatly, and maybe that's why we got along so well.

I had another text from Mike when I checked my phone again. What did you do...? I swallow hard, feeling slightly intimidated. Mike was older, taller, and most likely stronger than me, and even though he and Vic weren't close, it seemed that he would kick my ass if he knew. So I winged my reply. Nothing to worry about. I was a bit selfish and he got upset, which I feel really bad for...did you tell him I was sorry?

He replied almost immediately.

I'll talk to him, I guess

I sigh heavily and stand to get off the bus.

Thanks, Mike...means a lot

_____

this one is a little longer (:

i actually prefer shorter updates?

enjoy Hime Time on the top (or side if you're on the computer) cos he's a cutie pie

i don't know man, but i hope you guys liked it!

so if you guys didnt know, i might be able to get wifi! [at home]

that means more frequent updates and possibly better ones..

anyway: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE READS YOU GUYS GIVE MY HEART A BONER

p.s. ily

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