Array
(
[text] =>

Chapter Ten: Maggie

In all the years I've witnessed my mother make puzzling life choices, had this been the only time she had truly outraged me. I've watched her stay with my father despite his foul treatment towards her, and I've watched her allow people to walk all over her because she actually let my father's actions define her worth.

That's why I've done my part to be the one who stays the strongest between us both. I've always been the one to shout at my father whenever I watch his actions go way out of line, and I have always been the one to help my mother out whenever she's in a slump.

But every single time, I have not once judged her. In spite of all her choices, I've always given her the benefit of a doubt because she is still my mother, and I know some of her choices just correlate to her wanting the best for me.

But now? I can't think of any reason as to why her practically selling me off is gonna do me any good.

"The ones who offered this proposal were former associates who wanted to collaborate with your father back in the days but never really had the chance due to some intervening affairs." she told me "But I reached out to them again asking if they were willing to offer a loan to put Carpenters & Field back up to its feet, and they were more than happy to agree."

"However, with the loan came a condition of theirs that would make everything into a balanced agreement, and so they have suggested our rightful heirs be engaged. Their son is about to graduate high school soon and will take over the family business, but according to them, he hasn't been the most... reliable."

"That's why they thought of this proposal because they did a background check on you-"

I stared at her, dumbfounded "They what?"

She continues on, dismissing the shocked look on my face "Seeing as how you're someone who's more than qualified to manage a business once you grow up and get enough proper training, they thought their son would learn a little bit from you."

"Look, I am not gonna act as some sort of mentor for their son, let alone get engaged to him against my own will." I protested.

She puffs out a breath "It isn't like that. They thought maybe you two could work as a team and that he would reevaluate his choices by trying to mirror your own, and the only way they knew they could do that is if they joined you two together in an engagement."

"But this is absurd!" I cried out "Instead of trying to find a less nonsensical solution of how we're gonna rise back up to our feet, such as fighting back at dad, you chose to sell me off to a bunch of strangers with whom dad was once in contact with?"

She stands up at that, her face a mixture of hurt and frustration "That's not the point, Maggie! Do you think I'd resort to this if I had no other option? Because I don't! I know I made my fair share of mistakes and I'm living through the consequences, and I know this must be hard for you, and trust me I'm doing whatever I can to try and get back my share of the company, but for now, I need to find a way for us to remain financially stable."

"It's not like I wanted things to end up this way." she relented "You know how he is and how he's manipulated me over the years and I'm trying my best not to go through that again."

I shook my head "With the way you're handling this situation now, I see no difference." I snapped which she was taken aback by, her eyes brimmed with tears "I have seen you be continuously mistreated by him and now that you two are finally divorced, I would've thought that you'd stand on your own feet and not let him dictate your life and for you to just let him get away with it. But it seems as though even when you two are separated, history will repeat itself."

I turned around to walk away but stopped by the shrill sound of her voice crying out to me "Do you think I want this, Maggie? Do you think I want to be in this situation? Do you think I would want to use you like this? Because I don't!"

I swallowed hard at the lump forming in my throat as I forced myself to look back at her, my eyes showing nothing but pure pain and deceit "Right now? It kinda feels that way."

With that, I raced my way upstairs to my bedroom, tears streaming down my face as I furiously wiped them away as I went inside, slamming the door shut as I leaned against the hardwood, sliding down onto the floor as I felt my chest grow a million times heavier.

I wrap my arms around my legs and lay my face in the gap between my knees, sobbing. Trying to process if any of this was real or not, I know she said the proposal was still in reconsideration, meaning she was still waiting for my consent to do this, which meant I still had the chance to back out of this.

However, the fact that she said that this was the only option she had left as opposed to my father taking the company was already enough to make the idea of me backing out seem impossible to take.

Because it's crazy that this was her only solution. For her to sell me off to God knows who just so we could still claim ownership over the company that was always meant to be both hers and dad's, if she hadn't only been gullible enough to let my father make her own choices for her.

I've never felt a feeling of anger this intense in my entire life. With all the most spiteful thoughts I've ever thought about my mother and her mistakes in the past just instantly breaking out, but can you blame me? What she's doing now is basically everything she's ever stood against.

She knows what it feels like to be used and taken advantage of in the same way that I'm being treated right now, yet here we are, and I can't even come to terms with the fact that my own mother is letting me go through this. To put this sort of burden on my shoulders.

I know I probably sound spoiled and ignorant right now, but this is just too much for me to handle. How would anyone feel if one day they just got told by their parents that they need to marry some stranger so they wouldn't end up bankrupt?

Yet in a way, maybe it isn't because she's setting me up for an arranged marriage is what's truly angering me, because I know how these things work, and I know she wouldn't just hand me off to any kind of family if she wasn't completely sure they were to be trusted.

But deep inside, I know it's just the disappointment of seeing her go through this because my father left her with no choice but to be inferior her whole life is what truly bothers me.

In an even more twisted way, I hate how she had to drag me along with her.

Resulting in this mixture of pain and betrayal all boiling inside me right now, because it would've just been one or two things, but instead, she's letting me choose to either drag us down to our lowest point or to sacrifice everything I ever stood up for just to clean after her mistakes.

When I imagined myself avenging her for everything that my father has done, I didn't think it meant putting myself on the line of degrading my own worth the same way she did.

"Maggie?"

Lifting my head up, my ears perk up to the sound of Frank's voice, making me wipe the tears on my cheeks as I forced myself to speak "Y-yeah?"

There was a moment of silence before he spoke again "Can I come in, dear?"

I reconsidered for a while before it registered to me that his arrival probably wasn't influenced or encouraged by ill-intentions because God knows Frank would do nothing of the sort.

To put it simply, Frank had always been the one to be there for me whenever issues as crucial as this happened in the past. He's always been there to offer emotional support and to comfort me when things get too overwhelming.

So standing up on wobbly knees, I reached out to open the door, cracking it open as I was then greeted by the sight of him, his eyes evident of worry "Hi," I said, my voice barely a whisper as I held onto the door, looking through the small gap that separated us both.

He gave me a soft smile in return "Hello, dear."

Clearing my throat, it took me a while to speak before I inhaled a quick breath, willing myself to question his arrival "Is there something that you need?"

"There is actually," he said "I know it hasn't been that long after everything that's happened between you and your mother. You need some time to let all of this... sink in."

I nodded "I do. I honestly do."

"And you have every right to make up your mind, it's all up to you. However, if it's okay, may I lend a piece of advice before you make your decision?"

I sighed "Yeah, sure. But please, do not try to defend my mother and justify her actions-"

"No, that's not what I'm here for, at all," he said as he took a step forward and pushed past the gap between the door, and with that, we were finally face-to-face.

"I'm here to tell you that it's okay if you feel pressured to decide on what you want to do right now because, in all honesty, I think all of this is a little bit way too much to drop down onto a seventeen-year-old like yourself. That's why, as much as you love her, and how you always feel the need to put your mother above everything else, for a moment, think about yourself first."

"Think about what's good for you, and what you want, because you have all the right reasons to back out of this as much as you would want to agree to it."

"We want nothing but the best for you, and you've always been looking out for people ever since you were young, so for once, think about what's best for you and what you want. Once you've thought about it, and feel like it's the right path to take, you'll know," he told me as I felt my throat suddenly get clogged up with the upcoming sob threatening to come out of me.

With that, he gave me a quick peck on the side of my head as I shut my eyes before looking up at him, smiling softly "Thank you, Frank. I appreciate it."

He smiled back at me "Anytime, dear."

* * *

I don't know how long I've stayed locked inside my bedroom, just pacing, wondering, and overthinking. It could've been hours, but with the number of thoughts piling up inside my head and how I've been going through my options with a conflicted mind, it could've been a decade.

Firstly, I weigh in on the disadvantages of the situation. How it wasn't only gonna affect me and my life, for obvious reasons, but thinking about how I'm gonna break the news to Levi and how it could ruin our relationship.

Because it's either the contract won't approve of my relationship outside of the engagement, which is highly likely, or I keep the engagement a secret for as long as the marriage will last.

Because I know Levi won't take this marriage personally if he knows it's all purely business, the problem is if the guy I'm gonna be engaged to will allow us to still be together, and I'm not risking keeping things a secret from either one of them. One of them has to know.

If it all goes well, I might tell Levi everything if the guy turns out to be harmless. The problem is just that I don't know who he is yet, he could be anyone for all I know.

Or worse, he could be someone from school.

Thinking about it makes me wanna faint on the floor right here and there, and that was already enough of a reason for me to back out of this, and for a moment, I thought I would do just that. To march up to my mother and tell her no, I am not doing this.

But just as I was a foot away from the door to do just that, I stopped, my eyes abruptly catching sight of the little picture frame of me and my mother placed on the drawer beside my door.

Picking it up, I examined it and recalled the day it was taken. It was during one of mom and dad's biggest fights ever, and how I had caught her crying in her study alone, then later on asking her whatever it is that I can do to make things better.

That's when the beach came to mind.

We went there to take her away from her problems, even just for an hour or so. What started as a day to just cleanse her sanity, ended up becoming the day both she and I became much closer not only as mother and daughter but also as two girls who were going through the same pain of seeing the man they both loved completely change right before their eyes.

It was also the day I found out how much my mother loved me, and how she would go through hell just to see me grow up with a family that seemingly cared for me, no matter how broken those two parents were behind closed doors.

And just like that, the tears came back, as I found myself leaning back against my door, sobbing as my doubts prevented me from making a choice yet again.

It took a couple of hours until finally, my choice was settled. I went downstairs in search of my mother, only to see that she's still sitting on the couch looking as much of a mess since the moment I walked out on her.

With that, my heart melted, and I was back to being the daughter who loved her mother way too much "Mom?" she snapped her head up to the sound of my voice, looking surprised.

She was silent for a moment as if she didn't know what to say, and I could understand why. It's not like I expected her to ask me "So have you made your decision yet? I'm waiting." as if she was ignorant about what I must be feeling, she's not like that.

I take a step forward "I made up my mind."

She nodded, looking nervous "And?"

Remember, this is the last time you can make any sort of decision. Once you tell her what your choice is, there's no turning back. It's either you back out now, or never.

"I'm going through with it."

Her eyes widened, shocked as her jaw fell open "W-what?"

"I'm going through with it," I repeated, "I thought about it, and as much as I don't agree with your decision I'm going through with it."

She blinked a couple of times as if she was unsure of what she was hearing. "But why?" she then asked, "What happened for you to suddenly make up your mind like this?"

I smiled, the kind that didn't quite reach my eyes as I shrugged "I might've been angry at you for a minute there, resenting all the choices you've ever made that led to this moment but... that would never be equivalent to the anger I've built up inside me when it comes to dad. With everything that he's done that made you end up making those decisions in the first place."

"I don't know how long this marriage is gonna last." I added, "However, I'd much rather endure this than to see that man living freely after all the torment he's made you go through."

By the time I was done, my mom had already formed tears in her eyes, letting out sobs as she put a hand over her chest, speechless "Maggie, I-I don't know what to say."

I smiled, but this time, I meant it "Just know that I did this out of love. Nothing more, nothing less."

She smiled back at me for that, walking over to me as she cups my cheek lovingly in her hand, her eyes still pouring with tears "Same as I."

I sighed, leaning into her touch as I forced my voice to be a lot more stern now as I continued "But that doesn't mean I will agree to everything. Starting now, every decision that is yet to be made has to go through me first, so with that, I also wanna meet the ones who'll loan us the money."

My mother nodded "Absolutely. I've already arranged a meeting so you can meet the family and finally meet their son." she said "I know all of this had been too much to ask, but again thank you for this, sweetheart. It's just... thank you."

I softened at her words "Of course, mom. I'll do anything for you."

[text_hash] => 02093545
)